Amusingly bad reviews

DocHauser · Post by **DocHauser** » Sun Aug 10, 2014 9:00 am

I normally like TotalBiscuit's videos, but there are a few facepalm-worthy comments in his Astebreed video:

http://youtu.be/50EqXJB59t0

AntiFritz · Post by **AntiFritz** » Mon Aug 11, 2014 1:50 pm

DocHauser wrote:I normally like TotalBiscuit's videos, but there are a few facepalm-worthy comments in his Astebreed video:

http://youtu.be/50EqXJB59t0

Without having watched the video, he had as many facepalm-worthy comments when play Sine Mora too..

Aleksei · Post by **Aleksei** » Tue Aug 12, 2014 12:22 am

DocHauser wrote:I normally like TotalBiscuit's videos, but there are a few facepalm-worthy comments in his Astebreed video:

http://youtu.be/50EqXJB59t0

comments are wiped or are not showing on my end, perhaps from embarrassment.

El_Spank · Post by **El_Spank** » Tue Aug 12, 2014 1:48 am

Aleksei wrote:
DocHauser wrote:I normally like TotalBiscuit's videos, but there are a few facepalm-worthy comments in his Astebreed video:

http://youtu.be/50EqXJB59t0
comments are wiped or are not showing on my end, perhaps from embarrassment.

He has them off by default for all his vids and encourages conversation on his reddit ... threads? I dont know since I dont use reddit much.

Patashu · Post by **Patashu** » Tue Aug 12, 2014 3:32 am

El_Spank wrote:
Aleksei wrote:
DocHauser wrote:I normally like TotalBiscuit's videos, but there are a few facepalm-worthy comments in his Astebreed video:

http://youtu.be/50EqXJB59t0
comments are wiped or are not showing on my end, perhaps from embarrassment.
He has them off by default for all his vids and encourages conversation on his reddit ... threads? I dont know since I dont use reddit much.

Totalbiscuit video comments go here: http://www.reddit.com/r/Cynicalbrit/
He turned them off because he thinks the new style youtube/google+ comment system allows inflammatory/flamewar comments to rise too easily to the top. And if you look on pretty much every popular video, he's correct.

DocHauser · Post by **DocHauser** » Tue Aug 12, 2014 8:29 pm

Aleksei wrote:
DocHauser wrote:I normally like TotalBiscuit's videos, but there are a few facepalm-worthy comments in his Astebreed video:

http://youtu.be/50EqXJB59t0
comments are wiped or are not showing on my end, perhaps from embarrassment.

Oh, I was just talking about TB's comments, not user comments!

Having said that, he did tweet the link to this video and one reply simply said:

nobody cares.... why do you review pointless games?

Doctor Butler · Post by **Doctor Butler** » Tue Aug 12, 2014 11:35 pm

nobody cares.... why do you review pointless games?

Yeah, it's true. He does review a lot of AAA single-player games.

Cagar · Post by **Cagar** » Fri Sep 12, 2014 10:57 am

This one. The last two chapters feel like they were written on purpose to annoy shmup fans.

Mamorukun Curse! has, strangely, lots of this old school slowdown. Even as early as the first level, I saw the game begin to drag when one too many skulls were firing one too many projectiles. I'm all for nostalgia, but there are things about gaming's past that are better left forgotten. Slowdown is one of them, and seeing it here, in 2013, wasn't a totally welcome event.

But those looking for an epic challenge in the vein of Ikaruga, or a complete update of a once great genre, like Sine Mora, might come away a little disappointed. No matter what your final call is, I think we can all agree it is nice to see a new bullet hell shooter out there that isn't an App Store exclusive.

Yeah, right? What's xbox 360?

Final Rating: 65%. Well, it's no Sine Mora...

mastermx · Post by **mastermx** » Fri Sep 12, 2014 11:21 am

Cagar wrote:Final Rating: 65%. Well, it's no Sine Mora...

Lol! This reviewer needs to be educated.

Immryr · Post by **Immryr** » Fri Sep 12, 2014 11:27 am

mastermx wrote:
Cagar wrote:Final Rating: 65%. Well, it's no Sine Mora...
Lol! This reviewer needs to be executed.

Lord Satori · Post by **Lord Satori** » Fri Sep 12, 2014 12:41 pm

Cagar wrote:Well, it's no Sine Mora...

Pretty sure most of us consider this a good thing.

Formless God · Post by **Formless God** » Fri Sep 12, 2014 7:09 pm

a complete update of a once great genre, like Sine Mora

w

Doctor Butler · Post by **Doctor Butler** » Sat Sep 13, 2014 1:20 am

Every one of his reviews is dreadful.

He's tries to front knowledge, but he makes it painfully obvious he's talking out of his ass.

He refers to Guilty Gear as a "casual fighting game experience".

Guilty Gear is harder than fucking rocket science!

Pretas · Post by **Pretas** » Sat Sep 13, 2014 4:25 am

There's clearly a good reason that none of us have heard of The Gamers' Temple before.

WarpedByTheNHK · Post by **WarpedByTheNHK** » Sun Sep 21, 2014 2:27 am

AntiFritz wrote:
DocHauser wrote:I normally like TotalBiscuit's videos, but there are a few facepalm-worthy comments in his Astebreed video:

http://youtu.be/50EqXJB59t0
Without having watched the video, he had as many facepalm-worthy comments when play Sine Mora too..

He just had to compare it to Ikaruga, And yet he also says that it is somehow similar to classic western shmups. That just does not compute. That and of course he had to complain about the length. But hey, at least he liked it. Hopefully people who watch his review will try it too, and maybe even get into the shmup genre.

It is too bad I missed the discussion on infinite continues in shmups. I love that argument. As far as I am concerned their are two important things to consider when deciding what to do about continues:

1. Infinite continues are currently used by a ton of amazing shmup players as a way to train for specific stages and bosses, so getting rid of them without a replacement is not really an option

2. Currently infinite continues are being wrongfully used by people new to the genre and it is hurting their experience, so something should probably be done.

The rest is just my opinion of course, but here is what I think should be done. First, all console releases should have an achievement for managing to 1cc the entire game. This does not negatively impact anyone, but may help achievement lovers understand shmups. Second, all console releases should be given at least a basic practice mode to play specific stages. In order for it to still feel special to be able to play later stages, I would only allow you to practice stages when you have reached them in arcade mode. This is where I get to controversial territory I want to discuss. I personally believe console ports should not have continues within arcade mode. Practice mode would not allow you to continue infinitely until you have cleared that specific stage without continuing. This way, beginners would be sufficiently challenged just beating the stages in practice mode. Then finally when they practice and beat the stage they were having trouble with, they would hopefully have the skill to unlock the next stage in arcade mode and repeat the process. Finally, even beginners could rightfully earn the coveted 1cc, without harming the experience of the seasoned players. After all, you can train more efficiently on the part you are having trouble with by playing the specific stage, then by using infinite continues.

Oh, and a challenge mode that helps players understand the scoring system better would be great too.

Any one want to discuss this a little more?

Squire Grooktook · Post by **Squire Grooktook** » Sun Sep 21, 2014 2:55 am

Here's how I personally would do it:

You are given only 2 continues (or some analogus number based on game length and difficulty), and must restart the stage upon game over. When continues are used up, back to the beginning, no questions asked.

There is a training mode where you can completely tailor number of lives, bombs, etc. but you can only go to stages you have already beaten. However if you do a code at the title screen (let's say the Konami Code or something like that), you unlock all stages for training mode immediately.

This is mostly inspired by Alien Soldier, where having to restart stages on game over extend the length of the game for newcomers, and gives them a sense of struggling to overcome a challenge. At the same time limited continues prevents any one stage or segment from feeling like a grind to be brute forced through after several hours of play, and forces players to be somewhat consistent (just not as consistent as a 1cc).

My reason for having to unlock stages in training mode would be because I always enjoyed the sense of "adventure" in not knowing what comes next and having to overcome the challenges in the game to see what is next, and I feel forcing newcomers to legitimately play the game in order to see all the games content may avert some feelings of brevity the game might have. At the same time, I know there are peeps who just want to practice hardcore from the beginning, so a cheat code posted towards shmup forum or something would allow those who looked it up to bypass that security.

Blackbird · Post by **Blackbird** » Sun Sep 21, 2014 3:03 am

Personally, I think requiring a cheat code to enable infinite continues would do a great deal to clarify their intended usage.

WarpedByTheNHK · Post by **WarpedByTheNHK** » Sun Sep 21, 2014 4:59 am

Squire Grooktook wrote:Here's how I personally would do it:

You are given only 2 continues (or some analogus number based on game length and difficulty), and must restart the stage upon game over. When continues are used up, back to the beginning, no questions asked.

There is a training mode where you can completely tailor number of lives, bombs, etc. but you can only go to stages you have already beaten. However if you do a code at the title screen (let's say the Konami Code or something like that), you unlock all stages for training mode immediately.

This is mostly inspired by Alien Soldier, where having to restart stages on game over extend the length of the game for newcomers, and gives them a sense of struggling to overcome a challenge. At the same time limited continues prevents any one stage or segment from feeling like a grind to be brute forced through after several hours of play, and forces players to be somewhat consistent (just not as consistent as a 1cc).

My reason for having to unlock stages in training mode would be because I always enjoyed the sense of "adventure" in not knowing what comes next and having to overcome the challenges in the game to see what is next, and I feel forcing newcomers to legitimately play the game in order to see all the games content may avert some feelings of brevity the game might have. At the same time, I know there are peeps who just want to practice hardcore from the beginning, so a cheat code posted towards shmup forum or something would allow those who looked it up to bypass that security.

I really like this solution as well, but I feel that allowing some one to clear the main game mode with continues, even if you have to restart the level, will still make people believe they have completely beaten the game. It doesn't seem like it would naturally convince some one to then shoot for a 1cc.

My method still allows you to play individual stages that you have already reached (without continues), but it doesn't let you move on to the next stage just because you beat the individual stage in practice mode. This way, someone would naturally return to attempting to 1cc the game after practicing the stage they lost on, since a true 1cc is the only way to ever get through the mode that is labeled arcade mode.

Squire Grooktook · Post by **Squire Grooktook** » Sun Sep 21, 2014 9:31 am

WarpedByTheNHK wrote:
Squire Grooktook wrote:Here's how I personally would do it:

You are given only 2 continues (or some analogus number based on game length and difficulty), and must restart the stage upon game over. When continues are used up, back to the beginning, no questions asked.

There is a training mode where you can completely tailor number of lives, bombs, etc. but you can only go to stages you have already beaten. However if you do a code at the title screen (let's say the Konami Code or something like that), you unlock all stages for training mode immediately.

This is mostly inspired by Alien Soldier, where having to restart stages on game over extend the length of the game for newcomers, and gives them a sense of struggling to overcome a challenge. At the same time limited continues prevents any one stage or segment from feeling like a grind to be brute forced through after several hours of play, and forces players to be somewhat consistent (just not as consistent as a 1cc).

My reason for having to unlock stages in training mode would be because I always enjoyed the sense of "adventure" in not knowing what comes next and having to overcome the challenges in the game to see what is next, and I feel forcing newcomers to legitimately play the game in order to see all the games content may avert some feelings of brevity the game might have. At the same time, I know there are peeps who just want to practice hardcore from the beginning, so a cheat code posted towards shmup forum or something would allow those who looked it up to bypass that security.
I really like this solution as well, but I feel that allowing some one to clear the main game mode with continues, even if you have to restart the level, will still make people believe they have completely beaten the game. It doesn't seem like it would naturally convince some one to then shoot for a 1cc.

Yeah, I agree. Actually Alien Soldier had a solution for that. Basically if you continue, you don't get to see story cut scenes and such things. Very subtle, but as you slowly work your way through more and more of the game it manages to subtly telegraph that you should be trying to 1cc.

WarpedByTheNHK · Post by **WarpedByTheNHK** » Sun Sep 21, 2014 3:36 pm

Yeah, that sounds like a pretty good idea. Especially if you end it with a screen that says something like: To see the full story, try to not continue! Of course adding an achievement for not continuing would push the point even further for some players.

Also, I don't think it is as good of an option as the two options we came up with, but I sort of liked part of what Embodiment of the Scarlet Devil did too. They wouldn't let you play the final stage if you continue on the way (or play on easy), and they had a neat extra stage (separate from arcade mode) for getting the 1cc. The desire to see the final, and then extra stage, really pushed me towards the 1cc when I was first starting out. This is really more of an anecdote than a suggestion of course, but I do think it might have at least slightly helped Touhou become as big among early players as it is today.

Pretas · Post by **Pretas** » Mon Sep 22, 2014 12:23 am

WarpedByTheNHK wrote:The rest is just my opinion of course, but here is what I think should be done. First, all console releases should have an achievement for managing to 1cc the entire game. This does not negatively impact anyone, but may help achievement lovers understand shmups.

Achievement whores are much more likely to complain that the achievements are too hard, and go play Hannah Montana or The Last Airbender: The Burning Earth instead.

Squire Grooktook · Post by **Squire Grooktook** » Mon Sep 22, 2014 1:43 am

Still though, it'll telegraph the idea to more dedicated action game players (let's say, the types who go for platinum medals in Bayonetta or any Platinum Game's title).

Like I said before, those are the guys we should be aiming for and appealing to. Not the dudebros or uber casuals.

Kiken · Post by **Kiken** » Mon Sep 22, 2014 2:08 am

Pretas wrote:
WarpedByTheNHK wrote:The rest is just my opinion of course, but here is what I think should be done. First, all console releases should have an achievement for managing to 1cc the entire game. This does not negatively impact anyone, but may help achievement lovers understand shmups.
Achievement whores are much more likely to complain that the achievements are too hard, and go play Hannah Montana or The Last Airbender: The Burning Earth instead.

Actually, most achievement whores will either glitch/hack an achievement they feel is too difficult to get on their own or they'll allow other, more skilled players to log in as them temporarily to unlock the cheevo for them.

Also, there are numerous 360 shmups (both physical media and XBLA releases) that already feature SCC cheevos: THE, DeathSmiles, Shooting Love 10th Anniversary (both Delta Zeal and XiiZeal have independent SCC cheevos), Ketsui (the cheevos for beating stage 5 in either of the game modes requires not simply finishing the stage, but starting from the beginning of the game and playing up to that point without continuing, which is the same as asking someone to SCC the first loop), Mushihime-sama and Mushi Futari (both have various cheevos for SCCing Original and Maniac modes), RayStorm HD, Radiant Silvergun, ESPGaluda II Black Label (has 3 separate achievements in Arcade/360 mode for SCCing the game with each of the playable cast)... etc, etc.

In fact, one thing I've really liked about many of the 360 shmups is that they not only feature SCC cheevos, but also high-score threshold cheevos (for example: score 200 million in mode X, score 300 million in mode X... etc, etc).

Blinge · Post by **Blinge** » Mon Sep 22, 2014 8:44 am

Squire Grooktook wrote:Still though, it'll telegraph the idea to more dedicated action game players (let's say, the types who go for platinum medals in Bayonetta or any Platinum Game's title).

Like I said before, those are the guys we should be aiming for and appealing to. Not the dudebros or uber casuals.

Doctor Butler · Post by **Doctor Butler** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 12:23 am

Watch, and be amazed as the majesty of Raiden goes unappreciated by the swine that use Steam:

Nocturno999
154 products in account
1 review

Not Recommended
0.7 hrs on record
Game runs natively at 640x480 on a tiny screen (full screen option is a blurry mess and Steam overlay looks huge).

Non existent graphical options beside screen turn/stretch, no online leaderboards/ achievements.

Overall, a very poor effort, Steam has much better SHMUP options at similar price like Astebreed and Ikaruga.

BLAH BLAH BLAH GRAPHICS BLAH BLAH BLAH ACHIEVEMENTS BLAH BLAH BLAH ASTEBREED (AND IKARUGA AND PROBABLY SINE MORA)

Belaial
53 products in account
1 review

Not Recommended
0.5 hrs on record
The background moves to fast and just makes your eyes dizzy. It makes tracking the enemy fire with you eyes almost hopeless. The game lags more and more the more stuff you have on the screen, very anoing to try and play like that. You just end up making mistakes you should not do.

If these are things are fixed the game is a real good retro dream.

This boy got his rich daddy to credit-feed him through high-school, since he's apparantly functionally-illiterate.

Also, "retro"? Raiden III is, only ten years old, isn't it?

oneleaftree
165 products in account
2 reviews

Not Recommended
0.4 hrs on record
This is just a re-release of the Japanese PC version of the game. All that's changed is the configuration utility has been translated to English.

Very disappointed! Game is stuck in 640x480 so unless your running this on an Arcade monitor it's going to look like pixelated mess.

Not recommended at all and definitely not worth the asking price.

This one ins't nearly as bad, but still, is a terrible review, because it fails to make an objective claim.

It's a Steam-port, of the PC-port. This is kind of a given. I don't understand why that makes it "not worth the asking price"

Does he already own the Japanese PC-port? If so, what about people who don't have any copy of Raiden III?

LordHypnos · Post by **LordHypnos** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 1:17 am

^Seriously, reviewing shit after less than an hour of playtime >_<

Blinge · Post by **Blinge** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 9:51 am

What puzzles me is why people feel they have to broadcast their opinion at all.
I guess this sentiment goes beyond steam reviews too

Special World · Post by **Special World** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 10:18 pm

I don't really find Raiden 3 to be all that interesting either. Give me Raiden 4 or Raiden Fighters any day.

Formless God · Post by **Formless God** » Fri Sep 26, 2014 11:58 am

Game is stuck in 640x480 so unless your running this on an Arcade monitor it's going to look like pixelated mess.

Hahaha

ciox · Post by **ciox** » Mon Oct 06, 2014 3:03 pm

Not bad reviews just funny, the bullet point summaries are killing me.
http://shmupstats.wordpress.com/2013/06 ... dreamcast/
http://shmupstats.wordpress.com/2014/06 ... dreamcast/
http://shmupstats.wordpress.com/2014/04 ... dreamcast/

shmups.system11.org

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