A short essay & afternoon tea discussion on Social Justice

[Icarus]

Digging deeper I'm informed that Chinese women never, ever apologise to men.

From experience, I can confirm that this is exactly the case.
Almost like "apologise" is a word that doesn't exist anywhere, and in any form, in the Chinese dictionary.

[CIT]

Almost like "apologise" is a word that doesn't exist anywhere, and in any form, in the Chinese dictionary.

It exists, but only in its meaning as "something you demand from Japan 473 times a year plus whenever it suits your purpose."

[Skykid]

Almost like "apologise" is a word that doesn't exist anywhere, and in any form, in the Chinese dictionary.

Perhaps it doesn't

:goes researching mobile chinese language thingy:

It does: EDIT: correction! Hen bao qian: to feel deeply sorry / sorry for / regretful / apologetic

It's just women don't have to ever say it because, you know, the patriarchy, TEH PATRIARCHY!!

It exists, but only in its meaning as "something you demand from Japan 473 times a year plus whenever it suits your purpose."

If you aggregate that by population and then times it by the rest of Asia, it's more like a billion times a year. They're never going to get one though, although I think they most certainly should: being a victim of heinous war crimes is no trifling matter even if it's in the past. But that's another topic because genocide isn't sexist enough (although 'comfort women'... maybe).

[Icarus]

It's just women don't have to ever say it because, you know, the patriarchy, TEH PATRIARCHY!!

Or rather, why waste time with one sucker when there's another thirty waiting in the queue to take his place.

[Mischief Maker]

Hmm, definitely a case of you had to be there I think!

No, dude, trust me. I've been there. So has just about every man on the face of the planet.

When intoxicated to that special degree just beyond the realm of all reason she's a force of nature. Like an anti-superhero who's angelic during sober hours and cyclonic under the influence of baijiu. Taking control was the intention, but short of physical assault I was plum out of ideas.

You know, context is a slippery thing on the internet, and I'm probably talking out of turn. Let me just state for the record that I'm not trying to one-up you, I'm just analyzing the situation with 20/20 hindsight for the sake of discussion.

That said, you still had two better options consistent with the power/responsibility dynamic. Once you realized she was beyond verbal control, you either could have relinquished responsibility and walked away (which might have caused her to change her tune) or yeah, you could have physically restrained her. Shoving someone with both hands as hard as you can is physical assault, unless you're shoving them out of the way of a moving vehicle. She already had a bunch of gross old men pawing her tits for an hour, grabbing her hand with the keys and saying, "You asked me over here and I am NOT letting you drive home drunk," isn't that monstrous in the situation.

I'm not sure why you thought she might be 'testing me'?

Because she pulled an asshole move by inviting you over for drinks, then asking you to wait outside for an hour while she had fun with other men. Yet here you are calling her an angel. I don't care what language she grew up speaking, she's a girl and insincere invitations are a typical manipulative girl move all the world over. Like I said, I've been there. She was testing your boundaries by blatantly overstepping them again and again. "Wait outside for an hour," "Wait outside for another hour," "No I'm driving YOU home!" Would you have accepted any of that bullshit from a male friend? This is why a selfish prick like me is a feminist: empowerment of women means responsibility of women.

I totally applaud you for demanding an apology and not backing down. You might fuck this girl, yet!

[Skykid]

Lol the internet.

I appreciate you giving an objective and personal approach, but perhaps there's some misunderstanding here. The anecdote was for the sake of the thread discussion, I.e. relevant based on the bizarre no apology face-saving routine extended as a cultural courtesy to Chinese women. The incident itself is purely secondary. Perhaps saying 'you had to be there' should be extended to 'you have to be me, live here, know my friends, know Chinese culture' etc etc.

Discussing the shoulds and shouldn'ts of the incident itself is kind of off topic, but why not:

She's probably my closest friend here, she's done so much for me I feel almost guilty about it. She teaches me the language, organised my birthday bash, chaperones me around the city, and helps me with with everything from ordering dinner to buying stuff off the internet. She has an amazing fun-loving personality and is generally fucking awesome to hang around with.

Only thing is when she gets drunk beyond a certain point, she's difficult to control. Now I should also note, she was actually in a business meeting. In China business is usually conducted with copious amounts of alcohol. She often meets with businessmen representing her father's mining company, as he lives in another city, so I wasn't totally expecting to dive into the midst and start toasting - but I was under the impression they were finishing up, and I think she was too. She probably wanted to go to a club with me or something. But it turned out they wanted to drink a little longer. She's beholden to their wishes as host and the one picking up the check, so she can't bail before they do.

She doesn't remember the ass fondling but I do. The problem was the business party requested to go on to KTV, and she can't refuse. I remember in the car when I was trying to get her in a taxi she kept saying "I can't, I'm working" which was amusing and worrying simultaneously.

Long story short, there are limitations and aspects you can't understand because you're not me or her. Physical restraint is pointless because she was in fact engaged in a business event and had somewhere to be. She didn't want to drink more, but they did. That's that. So she drove me home and went to their destination. The real worrying thing is is how common drink driving in China is, for her I'm sure it wasn't a one off.

I have no ill feeling toward her, like I said, she's great and I love her. I was just a little pissed off about not receiving an apology for being dicked around and abused for my attempt of goodwill.

Nailing her is kind of a no-no though. My lady probably wouldn't approve.

[Mischief Maker]

Okay, I totally misread the situation. Never mind.

[nasty_wolverine]

i guess this belongs here.
or do we have a seperate feminist thread?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MxqSwz ... ture=share

[CIT]

i guess this belongs here.
or do we have a seperate feminist thread?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MxqSwz ... ture=share

Excellent video. Thanks for sharing!

[Skykid]

i guess this belongs here.
or do we have a seperate feminist thread?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MxqSwz ... ture=share

Interesting perceptions from a rational feminist. Considering she doesn't seem overly informed I assume she had some help with the research, but very good points well made. Facelift is a little dramatic.

This seems to also fit the SJ criteria. Now don't get me wrong, anyone can have an event for anything, as the MOBO (Music of Black Origin Awards) has demonstrated for years. But like that event, whose race-based relevance I find rather dubious, I feel similarly about this one: GaymerX

GaymerX is a San Fran situated gaming event for homosexuals and other non-hetero persuasions. Recently it hit funding issues and turned to KS where it successfully raised $80k.

Now again, if the LGBT community want to hold an event, they're free to do so - but I am perplexed as to why a gaming event needs a sexual distinction at all. Can't heterosexuals and homosexuals play together? Does the LGBT community feel awkward at a regular all-sexes gaming event?

Like the MOBO awards, I'm unsure of the relevance beyond an entity using race and sexuality as a way to make money. Call me a pessimist but beneath the surface I have a feeling that's all these things really boil down to.

[nosorrow]

They need - and in a way - "want" the hate (and perceived hate) to continue so they can still play the martyrs and say patented phrases like "we've come a long way, but there is still $O MUCH to accomplish...", bla bla bla.

Interest groups always want more. As much as they hate the "tyranny of the past", they (sub)consciously want to become the new tyrants. They want to flip the world upside down and want everyone to adhere to their agenda (except muslims, they don't go against them because they are afraid + the LGBT lobby hate christianity so much - the enemy of my enemy is my friend, etc., even if they wouldn't survive a day in some middle east countries...). Anyways, if these interest groups (LGBT, feminists) were ever to be in the position of power, I am 100% certain they wouldn't be as understanding/tolerant of people with different viewpoints as Western society is right now of theirs.

[BareKnuckleRoo]

Does the LGBT community feel awkward at a regular all-sexes gaming event?

Not at any normal event. I can't think of the last time I've heard of some story of "GAY BASHING AT GAMING CON" or anything. I'm gay and I agree that having a gay-themed gaming event is confusing and unnecessary. What does being gay have to do with gaming? Why does it matter if you're gaming with other gay people or not (it's not like it's a hookup/dating event)? I know gay guys who go to E3 and they've never mentioned a problem.

Apparently the organizers realized what a confusing mess that might be and responded by making the name even more redundant:

But that's not all. The GaymerX organisers have decided to rebrand the conference this year due to confusion over exactly who would be welcome at such an event. As such, this upcoming version of the convention is called GX3: Everyone Games.

But yeah, the idea of promoting gender/sexuality equality while having gender/sexuality-specific themed conventions seems a bit exclusionary or contrary, especially when the event in question has nothing to do with sex/dating/etc.

[Skykid]

But yeah, the idea of promoting gender/sexuality equality while having gender/sexuality-specific themed conventions seems a bit exclusionary or contrary, especially when the event in question has nothing to do with sex/dating/etc.

Maybe you've hit the nail on the head. In my experience most gay community events tend to be an excuse for sex and dating.

Well mostly sex. You guys have definitely got something good going there.

[Icarus]

In my experience most gay community events tend to be an excuse for sex and dating.

Is there something you're not telling us? o_O

[Skykid]

In my experience most gay community events tend to be an excuse for sex and dating.

Is there something you're not telling us? o_O

Yeah, I live in Brighton.

[nasty_wolverine]

another one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZueOCLGt1tw