Movies you've just watched

[Moniker]

Surprised you liked Ted but not The Other Guys (I also liked Ted). His comedic timing is quite good in both, and the roles are very similar.

Apparently he was also good in Lone Survivor, which I haven't seen yet, but in general I have trouble taking him seriously.

[Mischief Maker]

If you haven't seen it, don't comment - I thought the exact same thing as you going in, and I agree completely with your appraisal of Transfomers 1. Actually since you haven't seen T4, I'm failing to spot a disagreement here.

My ultimate complaint is that Transformers movies are 3/4ths pee pee jokes, 1/4th the actual action advertised.

It has been scientifically proven that if you've seen one Transformers movie, you've seen them all.

The burden of proof is on you to prove this (3 hour long) 4th iteration breaks the mold.

[Moniker]

[boagman]

Surprised you liked Ted but not The Other Guys (I also liked Ted). His comedic timing is quite good in both, and the roles are very similar.

Apparently he was also good in Lone Survivor, which I haven't seen yet, but in general I have trouble taking him seriously.

I should clarify: I didn't dislike TOG completely. I just didn't think that Wahlberg was the draw in the movie. He wasn't terrible, but I thought he was far better in "Ted". In TOG, I thought it was better carried by Ferrell, Mendes, and even Keaton (though the TLC stuff was a bit hokey, he still kind of pulled it off with a bit of a wink and a smile). Wahlberg seemed to sort of coast by on their coattails, at least in terms of comedy. Even the stuff with his ex-gf was just not there for me, and clearly that's where he was trying to show most of his comic props. "Ted", by contrast, gave him much more stuff in his wheelhouse, I suppose.

I also have a hard time taking him seriously, which is why I haven't had any reason to watch LS. Just don't think I'll buy it.

[Skykid]

If you haven't seen it, don't comment - I thought the exact same thing as you going in, and I agree completely with your appraisal of Transfomers 1. Actually since you haven't seen T4, I'm failing to spot a disagreement here.

My ultimate complaint is that Transformers movies are 3/4ths pee pee jokes, 1/4th the actual action advertised.

It has been scientifically proven that if you've seen one Transformers movie, you've seen them all.

The burden of proof is on you to prove this (3 hour long) 4th iteration breaks the mold.

I don't know what else you want me to do. I wrote an essay up there: it's not my fault if you decided not to read 70% of it.

You seem to forget I've seen Transformers 1&2 and hate them for all the right reasons. This one has far less in the way of pee pee jokes, and far (far) more in the way of non-stop robot armageddon. It's actually an improvement to the point it reached a dumb as fuck level of entertainment.

I'm as surprised as anyone, trust me.

[BIL]

And anything that lacks Shia LeBoeuf has an implicit advantage.

How about a suicide by cop on the six o' clock news?

"OHHH NONONONONO"

[Volteccer_Jack]

I saw Bayformers 1 and swore "never again", which worked great until they made a trailer with Optimus fucking riding Grimlock (only way to top that would've been to have Nicola Peltz straight-up naked, and I'm sure someone probably suggested it). So here we are. Overall, eehhhhh.

Marky Mark absolutely was pivotal. Without him I probably would've walked out. Coolest and most likeable character in the whole movie, since Optimus is a hollowed-out vehicle for the plot now. The scenes focused on CADE JAEGER (holy fuck what a name!) were actually pretty quality imo. Giant robot John Goodman had a similar effect, but got less screentime and so was even more one-dimensional.

I feel bad for Kelsey Grammar about this role. He's really working it, but the script is just...I don't understand why he's being evil in the first place other than one line about "this isn't their planet", and there's some thing in the middle of the movie about him retiring from the CIA and getting shares in the mega-billions corporation, and by the end I'm utterly baffled. I honestly have no clue why he's still doggedly hunting the heroes, which is extra weird because Kelsey Fucking Grammar manages to make it convincing anyway.

The other villains are much much worse, but that brings us to spoilers:

Spoiler

Megatron, now Galvatron, can fucking turn into flying T-1000 crap to dodge missiles, which had me fully and completely hyped. Right up until they never use that power again for the remainder of the ridiculously long runtime. A fucking army of building-sized T-1000s with advanced firearms who are repeatedly described as "just like the Autobots, but better in every way" and all they do is get mown down like so much fodder. They serve no fucking purpose and have absolutely no reason to exist other than pre-emptively advertising Transformers 5. A giant fucking cocktease, like Michael Bay just really wanted to let us know about all the cool things he deliberately didn't include.

Meanwhile some douche named Lockdown, who for most of the film never does anything except show up and take the credit after other villains do the cool stuff, somehow fights toe-to-toe with Optimus, and I'm supposed to believe it in a movie that has just tried very hard for 3 hours to convince me that Optimus is the best. For real now. In one scene Optimus is effortlessly dancing around bitch-slapping fools into helping him, and then fifteen minutes later he's impaled on his own sword. This is an awful trend in recent movies where as far as I can tell I'm expected to forget every scene the moment it ends, and judging by the success of stuff like The Dark Knight I have to assume people are buying it.

Even after seeing the movie, I feel like I want to like it. I just can't. In Steven Seagal terms, I'd compare it to On Deadly Ground, if that makes sense to anybody.

boyfriend who her dad doesn't know about who turns out to not be a vindictive shithead by tagging along through thick and thin

I think that's backwards. I liked him for a few scenes when he was just typical bad-boy type who seemed to be acting at least fairly reasonable in the face of Hollywood Overprotective Dad, but then they fleshed out his character a bit and he turned out to be a vindictive shithead. He was kinda likeable in the ending, but by then it just felt out of character (see also Optimus Prime's final speech).

[Skykid]

^ I agree with most of everything you say (apart from the guy being a shithead) but I was completely aware that the movie was completely aware it didn't give a damn about all the details and just wanted to get down to mayhem. I disagree John Goodman's robo didn't have enough airtime - he had the most fleshed out character after Prime, and the aforementioned reduction of cast size helped a lot.

The film is idiotic as they come and bursting with what we would call continuity errors if I didn't know they were just chosen to be overlooked. I'm still wondering how Stanley Tucci stole the world's most wanted bomb after Grammar has him by the neck against the wall in company with a murderous CIA asshole.

[GaijinPunch]

I've never seen one of the Transformers movies.

[BIL]

This post is a greater cinematic experience than the first three combined, and almost certainly the fourth as well. Save time and money by reading this post!

[boagman]

I've never seen one of the Transformers movies.

And you're living a completely full life without them.

[GaijinPunch]

I've never seen one of the Transformers movies.

And you're living a completely full life without them.

Well, I'm sitting here in my underwear with no job organizing photos of shit I'm about to auction off. Nice try though.

[boagman]

I've never seen one of the Transformers movies.

And you're living a completely full life without them.

Well, I'm sitting here in my underwear with no job organizing photos of shit I'm about to auction off. Nice try though.

I'll rephrase: seeing any or all of them will not make your life any better than it is right now.

[boagman]

And anything that lacks Shia LeBoeuf has an implicit advantage.

How about a suicide by cop on the six o' clock news?

"OHHH NONONONONO"

I'm still quite honestly confused as to how he ever became a Hollywood golden boy (even if only for a few years) in the first place. The kid/man-child just *can* *not* *pull* *off* *a* *role*. He's inherently laughable in anything he portrays, and not in a good way. Have you seen "Lawless", where he's actually side-by-side with Tom Hardy? It's ridiculous on its face.

[Skykid]

^ Tom Hardy ain't much of an actor man.

I don't find LeBeef to be particularly bad, just irritatingly identical in everything.

Anyway, he maimed his own career after badmouthing Crystal Skull on prime time TV - something I have to respect. Sadly for him Spielberg made some calls and he was blacklisted quicker than you can say Richard Dreyfuss junior.

[boagman]

^ Tom Hardy ain't much of an actor man.

Really? I think he's rather good in the several roles I've seen him in (I'm throwing out TDKR because, well...you really can't actually see *or* hear him in that one). That being said, I think he more than delivers in the believability department. "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy" did a fine job with him. He's lots of fun in "Inception". Did you see him in "Locke"? "Layer Cake" (personal favorite), "RocknRolla", "Sucker Punch"...heck, I'd even argue that he makes that awful Star Trek movie watchable.

I disagree with you here.

[jonny5]

^ Tom Hardy ain't much of an actor man.

I dunno, have you seen Bronson. He was really good in that. Watched it on a whim one night on Netlix and was quite pleasantly surprised. Check it out if you haven't already.

[Lord Satori]

I always love these discussions about which actors are good or not. To me, it kind of undermines the actual movies they're in.

[Skykid]

I always love these discussions about which actors are good or not. To me, it kind of undermines the actual movies they're in.

Jesus Christ, all discussion needs to pause just so we can marvel at the stupidest post in 201 pages of thread.

Incredible.

[jonny5]

I always love these discussions about which actors are good or not. To me, it kind of undermines the actual movies they're in.

Jesus Christ, all discussion needs to pause just so we can marvel at the stupidest post in 201 pages of thread.

Incredible.

Beat me to it. Any word on when we can add the 'ignore user's posts' feature to the forum?

[Volteccer_Jack]

^ I agree with most of everything you say (apart from the guy being a shithead) but I was completely aware that the movie was completely aware it didn't give a damn about all the details and just wanted to get down to mayhem.

I couldn't jive with the mayhem, is all. The very last fight was well-done, but it was a ridiculous amount of work to go through just to kill a guy who I didn't give a shit about at all. If they'd better established the general pecking order, instead of spending a ton of time hyping up the cannon fodder, I would've enjoyed it more fully.

Anyway, he maimed his own career after badmouthing Crystal Skull on prime time TV - something I have to respect.

Crystal Skull is the one movie where I thought he put on a great performance, that plus his remarks about it made me look at him in a new light.

[Lord Satori]

Wow, it's too easy to set you guys off...

[President_Obama]

Madskillz

[President_Obama]

Fuck a page turn.

[jonny5]

Wow, it's too easy to set you guys off...

Your posts generally add nothing to the conversation, in most cases the obvious eludes you and you either miss the point and jump on people or ask for the simplest concepts to be explained to you because you have jumped into a conversation that is above your head, or you post nonsense looking for attention or just to get a rise out of people.

For someone who apparently is in their 20's, you come across like you're 12.

[Lord Satori]

There are some people that don't know how to control their grudges. Some people, during a heated discussion might let things get out of control, and sometimes bashing occurs. But in the end, things are fine everywhere else and they both act normally everywhere else. Then there's the type of person who puts that person on their permanent hate list and will see everything they do within a frame of negativity and loathing. If you'd just relax a bit you'd find things more entertaining, like some of the movies this thread is supposed to be about.

[jonny5]

There are some people that don't know how to control their grudges. Some people, during a heated discussion might let things get out of control, and sometimes bashing occurs. But in the end, things are fine everywhere else and they both act normally everywhere else. Then there's the type of person who puts that person on their permanent hate list and will see everything they do within a frame of negativity and loathing. If you'd just relax a bit you'd find things more entertaining, like some of the movies this thread is supposed to be about.

Again, you miss the point. I have no grudge against you, I simply find your posts annoying. You're the worst kind of troll; the kind that is oblivious to the fact they are one.

[President_Obama]

You're wasting your time.

[Lord Satori]

Seriously, has anyone in the history of ever ever accomplished anything by essentially telling someone that they're annoying to their face. There are probably more people here who don't like me, but they keep it to themselves.

Though to be quite honest, my own posts sometimes annoy me when I look back. I've always had a somewhat impulsive posting style that I've never been able to fix. Often times I become aware of it, but I eventually slip back into my old routine, leading to some incredibly embarrassing moments.

[Moniker]

I'd say we all should just ignore/tolerate his lordship. As far as annoying compulsive forumites go, we've had far worse. In fact, I'm glad that he's the worst we have at the moment.