All the girls will love Rez....

druuna · Post by **druuna** » Tue Mar 01, 2005 9:38 pm

Or the 'trance-vibrator' with Rez?

http://www.gamegirladvance.com/archives ... tml#000141

shiftace · Post by **shiftace** » Tue Mar 01, 2005 9:40 pm

I think that was linked off Penny Arcade once. Hilarious.

BrianC · Post by **BrianC** » Tue Mar 01, 2005 9:43 pm

off topic, but that is "interesting". That has to be one of the strangest PS2 accessories ever.

LoneSage · Post by **LoneSage** » Tue Mar 01, 2005 9:53 pm

Yeah, I've known about that article for awhile. I've alway wanted to try out Rez with the trance vibrator.

Playin Rez with the Dual Shock 2 vibration on the crotch is good, but not good enough for me, I say.

Strychnine · Post by **Strychnine** » Tue Mar 01, 2005 11:54 pm

Yeah...that's been around for AGES.

Odd little piece of crap really....

Thunder Force · Post by **Thunder Force** » Wed Mar 02, 2005 12:15 am

PsikyoPshumpPshooterP · Wed Mar 02, 2005 12:15 am

OK..Im starting to wonder if that pic is actually some scrawny ass dude whose groin fits a woman's panty..The thought of it almost had me puking...

Ganelon · Post by **Ganelon** » Wed Mar 02, 2005 12:24 am

Methinks you're just being too suspicious there. There's like no hair whatsoever except on her head. Not all girls are size D+, man...

The n00b · Post by **The n00b** » Wed Mar 02, 2005 1:34 am

I am just offended. I opened that link and read the whole thing at work before working myself into a frenzy. I then kept the window open for 3 hours before quickly clicking it off before my boss saw it!

I'm kidding, stories about the Rez vibrator never get old.

judesalmon · Post by **judesalmon** » Wed Mar 02, 2005 6:07 pm

It works better with Space Channel 5 Part 2.

mannerbot · Post by **mannerbot** » Wed Mar 02, 2005 6:10 pm

This is the article that made me cave and buy Rez.

greg · Post by **greg** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 12:51 am

Psikyo, I don't know how you thought of that. It's obviously a girl to me.

I think I had posted about this article on the old shmupsforum a year or so ago. While doing a search for the Rez Trance Vibrator, I also found a page that kept the original Amazon.com reviews for the vibrating Harry Potter broomstick toy, which has since been discontinued and the reviews censored. There was some mom who wrote a review like, "I thought my 12-year-old daughter would be too old for this toy, but I was wrong! She and her friends take turns playing with that toy for hours in her room." Bizarre stuff like this just kills me. I bought the legendary "Hello Kitty Vibrator" on a whim a few years back off ebay. My wife never really showed much interest, so I took the battery out and put it to good use in my MiniDisc player. It's amusing how innocent stuff can be so sexual at the same time.

TWITCHDOCTOR · Post by **TWITCHDOCTOR** » Fri Mar 04, 2005 6:17 am

[quote="PsikyoPshumpPshooterP"]OK..Im starting to wonder if that pic is actually some scrawny ass dude whose groin fits a woman's panty..The thought of it almost had me puking...[/quote

Dude, you totally ruined it for me! Not only is the person flat chested, but you can almost make out hair on the arms...
Ugghh...I still tink its a skinny assed girl though, but still. Your thoughts are corrupting mine. (not that I really had any in this case)

Those are construction workers hands, I'm telling you! If you look closely, you can see that shadow of a "hard hat" on the wall behind...

greg · Post by **greg** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 1:58 am

TWITCHDOCTOR wrote:Dude, you totally ruined it for me! Not only is the person flat chested, but you can almost make out hair on the arms...
Ugghh...I still tink its a skinny assed girl though, but still.

Oooh, harsh. She's not flat... I can tell it's definitely a girl. I know you're not being serious, but small-busted girls are sexy too...

PsikyoPshumpPshooterP · Sat Mar 05, 2005 3:51 pm

greg wrote:
TWITCHDOCTOR wrote:Dude, you totally ruined it for me! Not only is the person flat chested, but you can almost make out hair on the arms...
Ugghh...I still tink its a skinny assed girl though, but still.
Oooh, harsh. She's not flat... I can tell it's definitely a girl. I know you're not being serious, but small-busted girls are sexy too...

tell me how they are sexy...is it because i have man boobs bigger than they do?

jp · Post by jp » Sat Mar 05, 2005 4:01 pm

greg wrote:
TWITCHDOCTOR wrote:Dude, you totally ruined it for me! Not only is the person flat chested, but you can almost make out hair on the arms...
Ugghh...I still tink its a skinny assed girl though, but still.
Oooh, harsh. She's not flat... I can tell it's definitely a girl. I know you're not being serious, but small-busted girls are sexy too...

"You like sunken chests!!! You're a pirate!!!!" - My cousin

Tar-Palantir · Post by **Tar-Palantir** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 4:14 pm

greg wrote:
TWITCHDOCTOR wrote:Dude, you totally ruined it for me! Not only is the person flat chested, but you can almost make out hair on the arms...
Ugghh...I still tink its a skinny assed girl though, but still.
Oooh, harsh. She's not flat... I can tell it's definitely a girl. I know you're not being serious, but small-busted girls are sexy too...

I'm with you here, Greg

Blue Lander · Post by **Blue Lander** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 4:33 pm

"She" does sort of have manly hips and legs... and "her" hand is always between "her" legs so you can't see if "she" has a manly bulge there or not...

PsikyoPshumpPshooterP · Sat Mar 05, 2005 6:22 pm

transvestite

Nuke · Post by **Nuke** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 6:29 pm

It's a woman. How do I know? Anatomy classes

shiftace · Post by **shiftace** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 7:28 pm

Speaking of the Harry Potter vibrating broomstick, I read some of those reviews, and I absolutely refuse to believe that a good portion of them were written in good faith, i.e. conveying honest opinions, and not written by bored troll-people lurking in the dark corners of the internets. Which doesn't make them any less funny.

Ganelon · Post by **Ganelon** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 7:36 pm

Yeah, you'd expect any intelligent mother to recognize why a daughter might be having fun with the thing...

Specineff · Post by **Specineff** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 8:56 pm

PsikyoPshumpPshooterP wrote:
greg wrote:
TWITCHDOCTOR wrote:Dude, you totally ruined it for me! Not only is the person flat chested, but you can almost make out hair on the arms...
Ugghh...I still tink its a skinny assed girl though, but still.
Oooh, harsh. She's not flat... I can tell it's definitely a girl. I know you're not being serious, but small-busted girls are sexy too...
tell me how they are sexy...is it because i have man boobs bigger than they do?

Let me draw the analogy using Digital Audio Players.

Look at the Ipod mini. Credit card sized, beautiful, simple and useful.

Now check the Mz-1 (Sorry, Greg. Sill love MD though) minidisc recorder and player from Sony. Big. Square. Big. Blocky. And big.

Small but well formed is better than big and bulgy overblown. And sexy.

Shmupsforum. Where boobs and digital audio come together.

Strychnine · Post by **Strychnine** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 9:03 pm

ZOMFG!!! YOUR HEAD IS FULL OF LIES!!!

Flat-chested girls are totally a raw deal. I mean, you're getting less bang for your buck. I can play with my raw sculpted man chest all day, but IT IS NOT OF FUN! Why? Because it is not squishy. Because it does not relieve stress. Because I cannot stick my face in it, shake my head back and forth and go "blub blub blub blub".

If I want to not play with breasts I'll go hang out with myself. But where I'm from, women are usually built with these things. And they are good.

Nuke · Post by **Nuke** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 9:08 pm

Strychnine wrote:ZOMFG!!! YOUR HEAD IS FULL OF LIES!!!

Flat-chested girls are totally a raw deal. I mean, you're getting less bang for your buck. I can play with my raw sculpted man chest all day, but IT IS NOT OF FUN! Why? Because it is not squishy. Because it does not relieve stress. Because I cannot stick my face in it, shake my head back and forth and go "blub blub blub blub".

If I want to not play with breasts I'll go hang out with myself. But where I'm from, women are usually built with these things. And they are good.

.....Kirby is the enbodyment of evil!!!

Specineff · Post by **Specineff** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 9:29 pm

My friend Marielle would ask me if men who are obsessed with boobs in their adult life are trying to make up for a deficiency in their childhood.

No, really. I believed her. She got fed up on being hit on by guys because of the size of her breasts. (she's overweight and disliked the fact that people didn't see she was outright fat, in her own words, because all they saw was a pair of big mammary glands.) And she'd ask them that same question, flat out.

[soapbox]Just as the size of your testicles doesn't measure how much of a man you are, breasts a woman do not make.[/soapbox]

Strychnine · Post by **Strychnine** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 9:47 pm

Specineff wrote:My friend Marielle would ask me if men who are obsessed with boobs in their adult life are trying to make up for a deficiency in their childhood.

No, really. I believed her. She got fed up on being hit on by guys because of the size of her breasts. (she's overweight and disliked the fact that people didn't see she was outright fat, in her own words, because all they saw was a pair of big mammary glands.) And she'd ask them that same question, flat out.

[soapbox]Just as the size of your testicles doesn't measure how much of a man you are, breasts a woman do not make.[/soapbox]

Whoa there cowboy. You can't just tie beanbags to a bigger beanbag and expect it to be sexy. Furthermore, we're talking "Flat-as-a-board-might-as-well-be-a-little-boy-you-freakin-perv" Flat. Huge floppy breasts are also not good. D's may be nice when you're like 20-25 but once you're hitting 45 the kinda droopage you can expect is, frankly, frightening. Oranges in tubesocks my man, oranges in tubesocks.

C's are perfect. And henceforth it shall be written.

On the opposing side:
Yes yes, its not necessary to have 10 inches of fury below the belt, but if you only have 1 or 2 or 3, I don't care how many grizzlies you've killed with your bare hands while slinging whiskey and smoking 20 cigars - you'll never convince me that you're not just a scary little girl with bad habits.

Nuke · Post by **Nuke** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 10:04 pm

Strychnine wrote: A lot of sexist, unfunny bullshit

...I dissagree

Strychnine · Post by **Strychnine** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 10:32 pm

Nuke wrote:
Strychnine wrote: A lot of sexist, unfunny bullshit
...I dissagree

"Ha."

sexist: "Discrimination based on gender, especially discrimination against women. "

Fact: Women are genetically endowed with mammary glands. We call these breasts.

What I was stating was merely my preference for one body type over the other. I hope women feel as free to do so as well. If some girl finds me unattractive for some given feature that I possess or do NOT possess that is her prerogative and I do not take offense, nor deem it sexist. What I said could definitely be connoted as being mean-spirited, assholish even (your opinion of course) - but not sexist. In no way did I imply that women are inferior, nor discriminate against them. "Well you're objectifying women" - get over this, people objectify people, if you want to couch in under those terms, but I call it honesty. I am attracted to a woman ____ who looks like _____. That's why I will initially go out to meet said person, but once I find out how she actually is as a person, that's a completely separate issue.

People have appearences. People have preferences. Does not make them sexist.

Honestly, people are so wrapped up in political correctness that they like to throw the sexist finger every chance they get. I do not deny that what I said was perhaps crude, judgemental, superficial, and mean - but not sexist. Nonetheless, it was heavy in the realms of humor (to me, you of course are entitled to think that I am a blithering unfunny idiot; but neither do I care about your thoughts).

Get a girlfriend, preferably one that you are attracted to. Talk to her about her body, tell her that you appreciate her aesthetic appeal.
I am quite confident she will enjoy this, and not point at your face and screech "SEXIST!" before suckerpunching you in eye.

I do not believe in the old adage that you should only speak if you have something nice to say. Some things are better than other, some things are preferable than others. You can choose to only speak in terms which please everyone, but I do not.

Nuke · Post by **Nuke** » Sun Mar 06, 2005 12:07 am

You just generalised that women are unatractive when they are flat-chested "'caus they look like boys". Sounds pretty sexist to me, preferences or not....