OMFG
Bankrupted, disavowed, on the precipice of obscurity...
JUANITA-CHAN STRIKES BACK FROM THA GRAVE
What the
fuck do you mean "who?"
Who? What are you - a fucking
owl? (■`W´■)
All sorted then? The things I do for you shitbirds.
Anyway,
BRYANM, U SAID JUANITA-CHAN JUST WANTED 2 HATE BIG AZN TITS IN PEACE, AND I BELIEVED U (;`ω´;)
But nao, according to neckbeard twiggy man NEIL DRUCKMANN, great auteur who kicked that hussy AMY HENNIG out of the company like a real man should,
JUANITAS SHIT IDEAS ARE RUBBED ALL OVER HIS UPCOMING EPIC AAA GAMING EXTRAVAGANZA (◎ω◎;)
THE LAST OF US II:
LAST LONGER IN BED WITH THIS ONE WEIRD TRICK
HOW DO IT FEEL 2 LET DOWN UR FRIEND, BRYANM (;`ω´;)
Well anyway, no harm done! To tell you the unsurprising truth, I am ENJOYING the schadenfreude of this all-new unmitigated shitshow! My favourite reality show
GAMERS VS JOURNOS has come again!
It's gonna be rough sailing, gamers - batten down the hatches and haul in the jib, before it gets
COVERED IN SHIT If you are looking forward to
Last of Us 2: Last Harder, you better not so much as google the fucker! Spoilers are spilling all over the information superhighway - like tinned goods in the aftermath of a crushing head-on lorry collision, one which launched Driver A clean through his windscreen,
and Driver B's, bringing him
crashing down mouth-first onto a post-mortemly stiff cock! We are all gawking, and some are dodging rolling tins, but nobody can look away from the fiery necrophiliac thrills of a SUPER AAA BLOCKBUSTER caught shitting in the bushes after losing its keys!
Commiserations to fans if the game is in fact ruined by toxic idpol, and sheeit. I, too, once cared for serialised moviegame entertainments. Long ago, before I fell for the old "hgame under a crate propped up with a stick" trap, and was transported to the hellish battlefield of Hardcore Gayming. I know now why you REEE, but it is something I can never do.
Even so, I wonder what the people will see, at the end of the time which can never be returned to. A shit game I reckon, but how many fousands will it cost to produce?
---
BTW, Bryan, do you play Ikari Warriors via MAME? Asking, as I remember you mentioning its shitty NES port recently. I tried out MAME Guevara AKA Guerilla War, in anticipation of its upcoming Arcade Archives release, and
HOLY FUCK the rotation was awful! No response until held down, then it blasts off with no chance of overshoot correction... sticky, annoying and quickly fatal, with these games designed for instantaneous control.
Assuming Ikari controls similarly in MAME... if you've a PS4 or Switch, I highly recommend the ACA versions of Ikari and its sequel Dogosoken/Victory Road! MUCH nicer handling, the rotation buttons respond instantly, plus you can snap-aim with the right stick.
I recommend this PS4 button config (see foot of post), or as near as you can get on Switch. It'll never replicate the LS-30, but it's a damn sight better than MAME's shitshow, even in the aggressively sword-slashing Dogo!
TASTE MY COLD STEEL (+ HOT GRENADES & BULLETS) YOU EXTRATERRESTRIAL FUCKS (`ω´メ)
ACA T.A.N.K. aka TNK-III came out great too. A surprisingly fine time to be a Hard Gaymer, with Hamster and M2 banging out one killer release after another, the iconic and unheralded alike!