Clock with hourly chime but rotating custom ringtones?

[DJ Incompetent]

We have this clock at work that chimes different christmas songs every hour. The songs are annoying as balls, but the chime every hour is useful for various things. I'd love to have a standalone clock I could rig a custom chime playlist of any phone (.mp3) ringtone I want set to play a different chime ringtone randomly on the hour.

I've been searching for hours. I'm convinced this product doesn't exist for some reason. We have custom ringtons to set as cell phone alarms, we have standalone clocks with 4-5 stock coo coo chimes, but not a mashup of both. Why?

Is there a standalone coo coo clock you can program your own (large) playlist onto and a random chime ringtone goes off every hour?

If not, does somebody know of a virtual clock program that can do this? Yeah I can rig a PC to function as an eternal energy sucking custom ringtone coo coo clock. I'm American like that.

[crithit5000]

If not, does somebody know of a virtual clock program that can do this?

Possible ghetto method I'm too assed to even bother trying: Scheduled tasks?

Edit: Mmm...yup.