Rob Xoxak Pro Review + Chad Warden's Protege + YouTube Fun

[Rob]

Throwing up another review soon. Please don't kill each other before then.

[ZacharyB]

Thanks for your work on these reviews Rob; they seem natural, but on second glance they must require a lot of writing and compilation work.

[Ed Oscuro]

Cost: $90 or free (choice)

I would like to send thanks out to HermanNoodlearms, and also Rob for lending his voice talents to our editorial staffs.

I would request Pocky & Rocky, and also maybe some other types of games. Any love for 2D sidescroller shooters (Contra Metal Slug Ninja Spirit etc.)?

[Ed Oscuro]

So I made this post on Digital Press, people there done enjoyed it, say thanks

http://www.digitpress.com/forum/showthr ... ost1528712

Make more vidyas, reviews, please

[Rob]

Any love for 2D sidescroller shooters (Contra Metal Slug Ninja Spirit etc.)?

I've had Contra: Shattered Soldier in a pile of games I want to finish for a while (years). I like Contra, so that's a possibility between O5 and RFA.

Make more vidyas, reviews, please

Something I can promise within 3 weeks would be Omega Five (the "soon" from above). New releases are at the top of the list of things I'd like to review, but there aren't many of those. When Raiden Fighters Aces comes out here I'll need to put in some good hours, but that's likely. Some other stuff on my mind: Garegga, Keio's Flying Squadron, Border Down (I think this was requested before), Eliminate Down, PC-E CD shooters like Gate of Thunder or the Rayxanbers. I'd like to be playing some older challenging games.

[Ed Oscuro]

I are playing Ninja Giaden trilogy recently, PC-Choice 10 emulation via MAME on laptop with broken keyboard. It's still pretty good! and I figured out a cheat for infinite deaths. You gotta hit this shit hard this out man.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZ7stHG7fKA&fmt=18

[escadrille]

Any love for 2D sidescroller shooters (Contra Metal Slug Ninja Spirit etc.)?

I've had Contra: Shattered Soldier in a pile of games I want to finish for a while (years). I like Contra, so that's a possibility between O5 and RFA.

Make more vidyas, reviews, please

Something I can promise within 3 weeks would be Omega Five (the "soon" from above). New releases are at the top of the list of things I'd like to review, but there aren't many of those. When Raiden Fighters Aces comes out here I'll need to put in some good hours, but that's likely. Some other stuff on my mind: Garegga, Keio's Flying Squadron, Border Down (I think this was requested before), Eliminate Down, PC-E CD shooters like Gate of Thunder or the Rayxanbers. I'd like to be playing some older challenging games.

This all sounds excellent. I'd be especially interested in the Contra:Shattered Soldier review. Got deep into that game when it first came out. At a certain point it started to feel like a memorizer. I'd like to hear/see some other opinions.

[Zuhzuhzombie!!]

Buuuuump.

Premium content every second

stick, ass, etc. I was contributing after all

I love TF2.

I also love Quake 3.

Comparing the two is like comparing DoDonPachi to Geo Wars. or Ikaruga to Space Giraffe. Same genre, completely different game.

Hey Rob. Me and my girlfriend need more people to play L4D with if you're interested in playing some onilne.

[Ed Oscuro]

This is definitely off-topic, but dear god, it's breaking my brain:

http://www.youtube.com/user/navgtr
Horrible '90s reviews by some random guy, suddenly on the 'net. What's sad is they had professional equipment and access to footage that competent people could have used. I also feel bad thinking somebody might have paid a subscription to see this, or relied upon it in some way. I won't be making fun of '90s EGM ever after this.

Funny how this guy was a perfect fit for Youtube back before it existed.

Some people were having fun (rather questionable fun) with these and many other genuinely horrifying Youtube reviews:

http://www.youtube.com/user/retsupurae

Rob, please save us from the likes of these :(

[Udderdude]

Portal of Evil TV discovers Rob : http://www.poetv.com/tags.php?k-Xoxak-48192-.html

[Rob]

Hey Rob. Me and my girlfriend need more people to play L4D with if you're interested in playing some onilne.

PC or 360 version?

[Zuhzuhzombie!!]

360

[dmauro]

The Omega Five review is your best one yet!

[Rob]

All downhill from Gunbird 2.

[dmauro]

No way, I'm going to be laughing about "tweaking the controller's nipples" probably until dual analog controllers aren't the standard.

[Enhasa]

All downhill from Gunbird 2.

Truth.

Anyway, the new account reviews are better overall just because they come with much funnier sycophant comments. The greatest part is this is the best case scenario for Youtube comments.

[BIL]

This all sounds excellent. I'd be especially interested in the Contra:Shattered Soldier review. Got deep into that game when it first came out. At a certain point it started to feel like a memorizer. I'd like to hear/see some other opinions.

It's the absolute definition of a memoriser. As someone over at Super-Play said, first everything kills you, then nothing kills you. Although there is the occasional twitch segment that'll shut out clumsy players... since one mistake destroys any hope of an S-Rank they go a long way.

Still love SS (see avatar and username), a few egregiously dead spots aside (stage 2 bikers, stage 3 eel). Speedrunning S-Ranks is the game's longterm replay value. On a lesser note its atmosphere and soundtrack are wonderfully caustic, and make every other run-and-gun look either weak or fruity.

[Rob]

I tried Shattered Soldier again and just can't get into it. Very dry take on the Hard Corps formula. Doesn't have all of those hideous MD special effects, awesome soundtrack, character or weapon variety.

[BIL]

Dry is just the word for it, thanks to the aforementioned hot/cold level designs. SS needed more segments like the opening of Stage 3. Actual running and gunning. And more boss patterns involving reaction, not safe spots. Boss rushes are okay as long as the bosses remain entertaining to kill over and over, and that goddamned eel is the antithesis of this. Even otherwise good SS bosses sometimes lapse into this mediocrity.

Better level and boss design would tremendously improve SS. It's a shame considering they nailed the game engine... 2D-precise controls and collision detection, yet often nothing to use them against.

What salvaged it for me, past the initial clear, is the freedom to cut several boss times in half once an S-Rank is mastered. That opening Stage 4 miniboss is agony to watch others take more than a single loop to 100% destroy, as one example. It makes the game feel less rote and more of a time trial. Also induces a bit more risk/reward, even if both are strictly player-imposed (risk junking my S rank for the reward of less boredom).

I was expecting Guillotine or the series' most imposing Alien Stage BGM, not that you'd know from its title for your HC OST pick! Although I do like the more off-kilter songs. Stuff like that and the rowdier boss designs made HC a thousand times better at tongue-in-cheek Contra than the outright goofy Neo.

[Zuhzuhzombie!!]

All downhill from original Mars Matrix

[iyaaaanitsFuku]

These are funny. More reviews please. Mushihimesama Futari next please.

[dmauro]

Bump without new videos makes everyone go

[doctorx0079]

These are funny. More reviews please. Mushihimesama Futari next please.

"Bear trap! Stupid game."

EDIT: If Rob were to review Garegga that would OWN. I don't even care if it's positive or negative.

[indutrial]

"This mid-boss is smart..it uses the ugly graphics against you..it knows the weaknesses of you.."

"I get it. You can be Treasure too. You can make a bunch of crappy stages, c'mon now."

[Herr Schatten]

If Rob were to review just about anything that would OWN. I don't even care if it's positive or negative.

Fixed.

[robthebanks]

I just wanna let you know Rob, that your shmup jokes have become common parlance among my roommates and I. Your reviews are comedy GOLD.

[evil_ash_xero]

Man, all this love. Why can't you post a new one Rob? WHY??!!!

[brokenhalo]

Because rob secretly hates us and delights in our despair.

[Udderdude]

Man, all this love. Why can't you post a new one Rob? WHY??!!!

You can't force art.

[BulletMagnet]

Because rob openly hates us and delights in our despair.

Fixed.