Worst games ever - the threaddening

[BareKnuckleRoo]

There was weird shit like an honest-to-goodness Phaser

I thought the wacky fantasy meets spaceships thing was pretty cool, if completely nonsensical and surreal. Loved the hovercraft!

And yeah, total agreement about the menu hell - I've glanced at Wizardry on the NES and it looks just like that.

What? No, no, you don't understand. The menus in the NES version take a bit of navigation, sure, but dear god, the screen took a good two to three seconds in the Apple II version of Wizardry to refresh when you moved a square or did anything in the menu. It was a travesty, even compared to the NES version (and the NES version is indeed already a lot slower than doing the menus via keyboard). It's only remotely playable with emulation speed boosting (it's actually the hardest version of the original Wizardry - enemies use spells/breath attacks even in surprise encounters, and Haman/Mahaman did not give you a choice of wishes, it was purely randomized).

[Strider77]

Death Crimson on Saturn.... Nuff' said.

[trap15]

Castle of Dragon/Dragon Unit.

[evil_ash_xero]

Sword of Sodan was probably the worst game I ever bought.

[MX7]

Was having a drunken ROM rest and my friends agreed Sword of Sodan is probably the worst game ever. There's this marvelous moment where a sign appears reading BEWARE OF SPIKES after which EVERY LAST BIT OF THE SCREEN becomes engulfed in spikes and there's absolutely no way to avoid getting hurt. It's just amazing.

[BrianC]

Death Crimson on Saturn.... Nuff' said.

What makes it even worse is that it actually got sequels!

[cave hermit]

Trying to remember awful games I've owned.

Iggy's Wreckin' Balls. Now that was a waste of hard earned pocket money

I remember renting that back when I was a little kid. I remember being confused and horrified.

[Ed Oscuro]

There was weird shit like an honest-to-goodness Phaser

I thought the wacky fantasy meets spaceships thing was pretty cool, if completely nonsensical and surreal. Loved the hovercraft!

Yeah, I liked that.

And yeah, total agreement about the menu hell - I've glanced at Wizardry on the NES and it looks just like that.

What? No, no, you don't understand.

I feel your pain. But only a little - I'm happy enough to let you do the research here. I can't say I feel sorry for not caring to punish myself by searching out even worse things. As I said, even Pool of Radiance feels too slow at times (the largest part of that is down to the repetitiveness of many environments).

[TwinBee Hypno]

null.

[apatheticTurd]

Pulse Racer is a game with perhaps the most brilliantly self-defeating premise. It's a futuristic racing game where the PC gets an heart attack if you drive too fast.

[Mortificator]

Terror lies in the convergence between licensed titles and early 3D graphics...
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys
Independence Day
The Simpsons Wrestling
Star Wars: Masters of Teras Kasi
Superman 64

[Lord Satori]

Funny bad games? I recommend WWE 2k14, The games gravity is just so messed up, Sometimes wrestlers will randomly fly or glitch through the ring. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tvgs5beaDgk
It doesn't seem bad, But compared to the older wrestling games it's horrible.

Oh my god... Seriously, what is it with AAA blockbuster videogames and terrible collision issues?

Terror lies in the convergence between licensed titles and early 3D graphics...
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys
Independence Day
The Simpsons Wrestling
Star Wars: Masters of Teras Kasi
Superman 64

lol, that Star Wars game is awful. Surprised nobody mentioned that Superman 64 "game" yet.

[Xan]

Bubsy 3D
Big Rigs

[Ed Oscuro]

I spent a bit of time with Pac Man 2: The New something-something today. It didn't take much to figure it out, and I spent a good bit of time laughing at how dumb Pac-Man is (especially when I don't know how to use the Look command). It's an odd duck - real-time adventure title with slingshot-based cursor control - but did anybody say it was one of the worst games ever? It's certainly nothing like a traditional Pac-Man game, and nothing like Pac-Land either...but I can't help but like it for being so goony.

And yeah, Hercules N64 is something else. I kinda like it though - especially that they apparently put more thought into unique ways to make life hell for pirates, than they did into the basic game design.

[Ruldra]

Star Wars: Masters of Teras Kasi

Lol I own this one, still in perfect condition. Not a good game but me and my brother played it to death. My favorite trick was to pick Han Solo and spam infinite homing missiles. Once the first missile was out there was nothing the other player could do to stop them.

[Captain]

Lol I own this one, still in perfect condition. Not a good game but me and my brother played it to death. My favorite trick was to pick Han Solo and spam infinite homing missiles. Once the first missile was out there was nothing the other player could do to stop them.

[Pretas]

Superman 64 has a perfectly functional, serviceable versus multiplayer mode that everyone seems to have collectively forgotten the existence of. Bizarrely, it involves Superman and other characters piloting flying bumper cars/bathtubs that shoot lasers, but controls much better than the main game. Good luck rounding up three other people for a session, though.

[BrianC]

Castle of Dragon/Dragon Unit.

NES/FC or arcade? NES one looks pretty bad, but the arcade seems to have a lot more going on with stages that have two planes. Scrolling looks choppy in that version, though.

[Squire Grooktook]

I concur the arcade version looks interesting. But I've never seen one positive review of it. Anyone mind explaining why it's disliked?

[trap15]

Just play it for a bit, you'll understand It's hard to explain or convey through a video. As soon as you play it, it'll instantly make sense.

I'm specifically talking arcade version though. According to the legendary Funkdoc the NES version is at least as bad, but I have a pretty hard time believing that.

[CIT]

Sword of Sodan was probably the worst game I ever bought.

That game is hilarious though. Definitely not a bad game in terms of sheer entertainment value.

[BareKnuckleRoo]

The GameGear port of Streets of Rage 1. It's quite possibly one of the worst handheld ports of a console game, if not one of the worst beat 'em ups I've played. The collision detection is simply atrocious and feels completely off. The Simpsons arcade game by Konami feels quite bad as far as collision detection goes, and the GG port of SoR1 is so much worse, it's horrifying. The collision detection is incredibly wonky for your standard punch combos, so you're essentially forced to use throws (and you can't knee enemies before throwing for some reason) or weapons (the pipe is slow but has a ridiculously wide vertical range).

The GameGear port of Streets of Rage 2 feels so much more solid and reliable for when hits connect, I can't help but wonder if it was a different dev team that made it.

[BIL]

My face @ FC Dragon Unit. Its sequel Sword Master has its flaws but ho ho hoooly shit Dragon Unit is like a spastic rock 'em sock 'em simulator.

Great title BGM though!

[trap15]

I'm a huge fan of Athena's Shoutarou Sasaki (commonly credited as Sho), he did the music for almost all of their games until Yoshio Nagashima joined in late 1993. Another game with rockin' tunes he was behind was the impeccable DAAAIIIOOOOOHHHHHH. He'd always been part of game design too, but when Athena became Warashi he took a back seat and became their marketing lead. I wonder what he's up to now.

trap15 ^_~

[system11]

Bagpuss appears spontaneously on shmups forum. This is the greatest day.

[BIL]

I try to keep the flame alive ^__^

[BrianC]

The GameGear port of Streets of Rage 1. It's quite possibly one of the worst handheld ports of a console game, if not one of the worst beat 'em ups I've played. The collision detection is simply atrocious and feels completely off. The Simpsons arcade game by Konami feels quite bad as far as collision detection goes, and the GG port of SoR1 is so much worse, it's horrifying. The collision detection is incredibly wonky for your standard punch combos, so you're essentially forced to use throws (and you can't knee enemies before throwing for some reason) or weapons (the pipe is slow but has a ridiculously wide vertical range).

At least it still had a nice soundtrack. Aside from that, from what I played, it did seem pretty bad. The lack of knee throwing is messed up. SoR2 is definitely much better on GG, but I heard the reverse is true for the SMS versions with a more polished port of SoR1 (even has Adam!) and a less polished port of SoR2.

[KindGrind]

I dig DoRéMi Fantasy, and I impulse bought Milon Secret Castle on the NES because of the comforting Hudson logo and the fact that I had heard DoRéMi is "spiritually aligned" with it or something.

Lousy programming, found it boring and completely unplayable. Why people would refer to this as an okay game of yesteryear, or as something that's "not that bad" is beyond me.

[BIL]

I impulse bought Milon Secret Castle on the NES because of the comforting Hudson logo

Sounds like... ('_') ( '_')>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■)

You got stung.

YEAHHHHHH

(I know the feels! What a warm fuzzies inspiring logo, especially that font!)

[ELabit]

Shmup related I would say Bioship Paladin.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcmFJa9UcZI

Can't believe the Space Battleship Gomorrah /BSP hate. It's a neat game for sure with awesome music. That video link has totally fucked up music. It's not really a shooter like other shooters you guys are used to. It's very unique and VERY UPL. Play some Atomic Robo Kid, Mutant Night, Gomola Speed (pc engine game) and Gomorrah and you might "get it"

If you want a bad game play Dark Castle for CDi
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4-7mWeY_Cs