Something to help make a list for the Top 25

[Ceph]

thats the biggest problem with the system.

No, the biggest problem with the "system" is the system.

You say the values will be based on feeling: That means you'll get exactly the same results without it, only with much less effort. Which is why a sane person wouldn't try to come up with a system for a personal ranking of shoot 'em up games.

When you were a kid, did you have a system for ranking your favorite toys as well?

[Rob]

gamplay

Bio Metal

[moozooh]

"they call me the king of the spreadsheets
i got 'em all printed out on my bedsheets"

(10 pts if you can name the weird al song)

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE PENTIUMS!
IT'S ALL ABOUT THE PENTIUMS, YEEEEEEAAH!

[jpj]

+10pts

[Udderdude]

Honestly, it sounds like you're putting more time into rating your shooters than playing them.

[God]

The problem is, a game can be more than the sum of its parts.

thats the biggest problem with the system. doesn't seem to be a way around that though.

You could give each game an "exceeds the sum of its parts" rating.

[Zebra Airforce]

I'm afraid your new system didn't get a very high rating on my system rating system. Its "Ceph Attack" value is off the charts, but it only got 3% of the "Good Smell" category, which unfortunately comprises 99% of the final value.

[GaijinPunch]

Honestly, it sounds like you're putting more time into rating your shooters than playing them.

You win the thread, hands down.

[jpj]

[shoe-sama]

I wonder if making false quotes trying to make someone look racist/sexist is a bannable offense around here

[Octopod]

Awesome thread.

[Ed Oscuro]

Oh, i think some people got the first post wrong...

Its not about ME doing a top 25 for people to see.

Aha! It all makes sense now! It's so blindingly simple that I can't believe I ignored it at first. I admit, I was irrationally bigoted against people who create complex systems for hobby forums (but not content which has entertainment value at the least - sorry, my biases coming through again, forgive me).

Notice how this post admits that our system-builder is not actually interested in using the system. Observing this, the rhetorical angles, the mysterious hidden messages in the many edited posts from page one, and also the empty blood packs I found outside my dorm door, I came to the only possible conclusion. We have the answer, finally!

See, the system doesn't make any sense until you realize that Guy Named After Aircraft Carrier Named After Famous WWII Admiral isn't interested in writing a single review, or even in playing shmups. His true interest is statistics-based pseudosciences, especially the kind where you get to measure peoples' skulls with calipers.

I think that the Fleet Admiral spotted shmups forums from a distance, noticed its unholy obsession with worthless lists and bickering over obtuse procedures, and decided it provided the world's best pure source of meaningless content. He NEEDS those numbers to survive. He views this as a symbiotic relationship which gives him a steady stream of the context-free numbers he so desires. Imagine a dolphin in a backyard tank trading military intelligence for heroin - something like that, right?

The only flaw in his plan is that as crazy as shmups is, we like emotional drama, and it turns out that emotions actually weaken Chester.

Or it could be that he just wanted us to come, and build it, and then let him take care of it.

Look, Chester, we already got all the systems we need around here, and then some.

Yeah, yeah, I'm being 10000% more histrionic about this than I need be, but seriously, dude.

Anyway, we're laughing with you...laughing with you, helping you laugh at yourself. I hope. Something like that.

[Ed Oscuro]

Honestly, it sounds like you're putting more time into rating your shooters than playing them. :)

You win the thread, hands down.

Hey, that's uncalled for, you jealous loser!

And especially fuck Udderdude, who obviously plagiarized that idea from my easily readable post up above (the first one, which I say is an even easier and faster read than my latest one). It only took me five minutes to write that first post, you know. Well, it felt like five, and I'm going to charge a fee.

[jp]

First off:


For at this point, the locking is inevitable.


In so far as the idea, this is silly.

To close:



Thank you.

[GaijinPunch]

Hey, that's uncalled for, you jealous loser!

And especially fuck Udderdude, who obviously plagiarized that idea from my easily readable post up above

He summed up the main argument against the idea in the original post in one statement. That destroys your multi-paragraph rant that could very well have been brilliant, but wasn't read.

[Ed Oscuro]

some people always respond brilliantly to sarcasm

OP read my post when I first posted it, mission accomplished.

Also, none of my posts in this thread is a rant. There are some compound sentences, however.

[GaijinPunch]

None of my posts in this thread is a rant, incidentally.

None of them are short/readable either.... that's my point.

[Ed Oscuro]

GP, I appreciate that you're trying to help me see reason, but I actually enjoy writing complex sentences occasionally. It's as fun for me as the orderly world of regimented single-clause dry statements of fact that you would prefer to inspect. Somehow, I'm sure these views can coexist. Yeah, my gamble on a joke earlier sucked so nobody laughed. Snake eyes for the lulz. There are some joke masters on the Forum; I'm not one, just training.

I'm always aware that people often move their eyes across the screen once, so "unreadable" writing often goes unappreciated. Short is good; but I don't always feel like it, just as I'm wondering how many pages you would insist on dragging this sadness into. It's no big deal to me; and it shouldn't be a big deal to anybody else as long as it's not a big habit - can't say how many times I see PVP on my screen a day.

I didn't get a reaction like I wanted the second time with that sarcastic post, and should have remembered you are a famous killjoy in these parts. Again, not a big deal. You're free to call me a drama queen if you like, which would be just as productive (i.e. not at all, since we should both let this drop) while also being a bit of fun for you. No hard feelings if you do.

Alternatively, you do know I'm not always crazy like this. Cut a guy some slack.

But I do apologize for riling you up; I won't persist in offending you because I do value your friendship (even if it is easily disturbed).

[GaijinPunch]

and should have remembered you are a famous killjoy in these parts.

I am?

But I do apologize for riling you up;

I'm not riled up... just thought I was being questioned w/ the jealous loser comment. That's all.

[Ed Oscuro]

No way, I don't go for that sort of screaming flame-fest type stuff, with the burning bridges and the unending hate and sadness. That stuff kills my natural high.

Killjoy comment...hmm, you did stop in here to dunk Erinu, so I'll give you that one as well...I think you look like the Jesuit from Shogun, however.

[GaijinPunch]

That stuff kills my natural high.

Overrated anyway. Go chemical.

Killjoy comment...hmm, you did stop in here to dunk Erinu,

It is my duty as a human.

I think you look like the Jesuit from Shogun, however.

I have many guises. Jesus and John Lennon are the two most common.