Shmup stinkers

[Observer]

Indeed, what the others have been saying. You can't really compare DoDonPachi with something like Protöthea on the Wii/PC. You can hate CAVE and the anal chaining all you want but, come on...

Seriously:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZY-gBefg8w
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiTj0NnVuhw

Look at that. I warned on my previous post that the music gets irritating. I forgot the Wii port makes it much, MUCH worse.

[Annoyboy]

Hey Skykid, only 1 person disputed Star Parodia/Parodier.

[originalz]

Yeah, I think a good rule of thumb is that if a game is fairly well-known, it doesn't deserve to be on this list. Only exceptions when a game is well-known universally for being trash (something like Silver Surfer). Most of the games on the list that deserve to be there are fairly unknown and haven't been played by many people, for good reason. We should be shooting for games that will get 99% of this forum to agree that the game sucks (should be very apparent by looking at a video unless there are deeper issues that people should get into), not a fairly well-established game that has a few dissenters.

[Kollision]

NES 1942. Just watching a video of it hurts.

I think it's still better than that crap called 1942 Joint Strike.

Only exceptions when a game is well-known universally for being trash (something like Silver Surfer)

Not trash at all. It's hard, yes, but it's awesome for NES standards.
Stop kidding, guys, c'mon.

[louisg]

Some more games for your consideration:
Honey in the Sky
Cyber Core
Psychic Storm

I'll also dispute Nanostray 2. It's not great, but it's not god-awful either.. it's problem is mostly just being on the easy side.

[louisg]

Wow, Protothea looks painfully dull! And the music sounds like something Psikyo would do D:

[nimitz]

Turbo force definitely doesn't belong in this list.

It's a bit clunky but it really isn't a bad shmup if you give it a chance. Much better than Aero fighters 2 and 3 for example.

It also has some historical value, as the first "prototype" of the psikyo formula.

[mouser]

Skimmed through some of the recommendations...some of you are clearly out for the lulz. Ikaruga? DonDonPachi? lol Should I insert my opinionated bias and recommend every Euro-shmup ever made?

Shmup stinkers are games worthy of an AVGN review, like Action 52 shmups or something. Bad controls, bad gimmick, barely visible bullets, all rolled in one....basically any game where it's clear little effort was put into it.

In case it hasn't already been done so...I vote for R-Type Final and the Thunderforce series to be removed from the list. And in case anyone tries to recommend some games from Compile/Hudsonsoft, I vote ahead of time for those to be excluded too.

EDIT: I also vote for KOF Skystage to be removed from the list. The premise is ridiculous, but at least it plays okay. I liked it better than like Aegis Wing, anyway.

[Wenchang]

Darius Gaiden? Air Buster? Lol. Some of you are nuts. I don't even consider Ghost Pilots, Silver Surfer, or Andros Dunos bad, they're mediocre perhaps, not bad. Turbo Force is fun, and Touhou games bad, really? I'm not a fan of them particularly, but there's really nothing poorly designed or below average about them. Star Parodier isn't bad either. There are tons of terrible console/pc original shmups, but they're always forgettable. The worst I know of though is ironically one of the most valuable: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4L65biwX_Q

1984 and someone makes a shooter about 10x less sophisticated and complex than Space Invaders, with horrid collision detection problems.

[Obiwanshinobi]

Sheesh, does anybody expect to achieve some kind of consensus on the subject? This isn't much different from making a topic called "10 worst shmups in history" and hoping it won't go bananas.
I wouldn't call any shmup I played a stinker as I tend to not buy them at inflated prices and hardly ever feel any incentive to torment myself with something that doesn't click with me after a handful of credits. Once in a blue moon I pick up some Thunder Force or Pachi game again, find it as meh as ever before and come back to where the life is in my book. Just made a point that for my money shoot 'em up genre is nowhere near as immaculate as the OP seems to be implying. I dislike plenty of stuff out there. For instance, there wouldn't be even one underwater bullet hell shmup (the most overreprsented subgenre these days) in my top ten at the moment. Had I tried hard to like every cult hyped doujin corn popper, I would have most likely developed fierce resentment against some of them until now. Instead, I trust my hunches and don't even bother trying to like something my gut is telling me I don't even wanna like.
Mentioned those Thunder Force games and Tyrian because I would like to like them. Mentioned Strike Gunner S.T.G. because it's just bizarrely undercooked for a coin-op game actually released in 1991, no less. (Where's another half of the graphics, where's another half or so of my firepower? Am I missing something? A hook of sorts? Does this game make sense only in co-op?) I do not, however, believe any list made like that to be of any objective value.

[BPzeBanshee]

It appears to have already been removed but I'd like to also point out that Tyrian is not terrible for what it was. Weapons are rather fail, until you learn to pick and level up the strong ones (easier with Story Mode due to shop system as opposed to picking up whatever in Arcade mode).

And what other game actually gets enough popularity and fans to get a C++ open-source port for modern Windows, iPhone, Android and Wii all at once?

But yeah, this thread really is fair game for lulz posts. I had a chuckle when someone said Dodonpachi and Battle Garegga.

[Ghegs]

...when a game is well-known universally for being trash (something like Silver Surfer).

I dispute!

The game gets its overwhelmingly bad rep thanks to AVGN. The only thing really wrong with Silver Surfer is the lack of autofire, something which can be easily remedied. The huge hitbox isn't a problem either after getting used to it, which shouldn't take more than a game or two.

Not saying it's an extraordinarily great game, but it's not a terrible one either. Just mediocre with some of the greatest NES tunes. Really bad stuff like Legion makes Silver Surfer look like a precious golden nugget.

Andro Dunos and Ether Vapor shouldn't be on the list and I'd say Gaia Seed doesn't belong there either. That one's just dull, not a real stinker.

[Dale]

Pollux, Blue Hawk, and Andro Dunos are awesome. Ya'll is stupid.

I'm assuming I misread the list and saw Eight Forces on there because it should be on their not Ghost Pilots.

Edit: KOF Skystage and Turbo Force, this is the dumbest shit ever read.

[emphatic]

Andro Dunos is sooo much better than Darius Gaiden.

[Bloodreign]

Another vote for Darius Gaiden and Darius Twin to be taken off this list, sure IMO Twin feels the weakest of the series, but it's no stinker. Darius Gaiden on the other hand is a beautiful shmup, doesn't deserve to be on a list like this because it's actually enjoyable, just never gets boring.

[szycag]

Take off Darius Gaiden at the very least. Be realistic...

[burgerkingdiamond]

And here comes The Ultimate List Of Shmups That I Do Not Consider Crap:

Tyrian (already mentioned, BTW it's listed twice in the opening list)
Raptor: Call of the shadows
Xenon 2
Philosoma (PSX)
Cho Aniki (PCE)
Cho Aniki (Saturn)
Touhou

Is the Cho Aniki the same one that is up on the PSN? I think the game is hilarious, but if you actually want to play it... That's another story. It's just horrible.

[burgerkingdiamond]

NES 1942. Just watching a video of it hurts.

I think it's still better than that crap called 1942 Joint Strike.

Only exceptions when a game is well-known universally for being trash (something like Silver Surfer)

Not trash at all. It's hard, yes, but it's awesome for NES standards.
Stop kidding, guys, c'mon.

1942 for NES was on of the games I had when I was real young. Like 5-8 years old. So I have fond memories of it. As for Joint Strike. FUCK I hate that game. I don't know if it deserves all of my distaste. But I was excited at the time to have a shmup to download. And I was majorly disappointed.

[originalz]

I actually haven't played Silver Surfer so I guess I can't really comment on it. Heh, maybe the AVGN review was a bit unfair...sure as hell kept me away from the game.

Anyway, here's a game no one can dispute! I mentioned it before but here's proof:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o18YCC00u38

Galg is a bloody awful game. The biggest problem is that it's so boring to play, the goal of the game is to pick up 100 weapon parts, with one (missable) part per level. All of the level seem to look the same, and it eventually can be pretty difficult. You'll be falling asleep by level 5, playing with all of the typical crap that was common for the genre back in those days. I actually spent some time trying to play the game but after awhile I just couldn't go on. I'd really like to see someone defend this!

[EinhanderZwei]

Is the Cho Aniki the same one that is up on the PSN? I think the game is hilarious, but if you actually want to play it... That's another story. It's just horrible.

Cho Aniki games are not that bad for what they are - I see no problem in a game being campy because it is supposed to be campy. The graphics on both PCE and PSX versions are really nice, too

Psychic Storm

Hey, it was my first 1CC, and I don't regret any second of it! Nice shmup for beginners. And with auto-transformation off it actually stops being THAT easy...

[burgerkingdiamond]

Is the Cho Aniki the same one that is up on the PSN? I think the game is hilarious, but if you actually want to play it... That's another story. It's just horrible.

Cho Aniki games are not that bad for what they are - I see no problem in a game being campy because it is supposed to be campy. The graphics on both PCE and PSX versions are really nice, too

I agree. I like the humor and graphics. Unfortunately the gameplay sucks. So after playing it literally 2 times and laughing my ass off, I have no intentions of playing it again.

[Skykid]

I've done my best to prune the list today. Feel free to look it over. A few more are in for the chop if people keep mentioning them (Silver Surfer for instance.)

To whoever asked about Star Parodier, I would have been the second disputer (and someone else mentioned it today.) It's easy, and a little slow because of that, but there are worse cute-em-ups I'm sure.

[Sly Cherry Chunks]

Darius Gaiden off

[Paradigm]

For instance, there wouldn't be even one underwater bullet hell shmup (the most overreprsented subgenre these days) in my top ten at the moment.

lolwut?

Instead, I trust my hunches and don't even bother trying to like something my gut is telling me I don't even wanna like.
Mentioned those Thunder Force games and Tyrian because I would like to like them.

Why in the world would you ever 'try' to like something? That's ridiculous. A game is just a form of entertainment, you either enjoy it or you don't.


I'd like to vote for the following games to be removed from the list: Turbo Force, Nanostray 2, Darius Gaiden, Touhou, 1942 (NES) and 1942 Joint Strike.

And I'd like to add Ocean Commander to the list.

[burgerkingdiamond]

For instance, there wouldn't be even one underwater bullet hell shmup (the most overreprsented subgenre these days) in my top ten at the moment.

lolwut?

Instead, I trust my hunches and don't even bother trying to like something my gut is telling me I don't even wanna like.
Mentioned those Thunder Force games and Tyrian because I would like to like them.

Why in the world would you ever 'try' to like something? That's ridiculous. A game is just a form of entertainment, you either enjoy it or you don't.


I'd like to vote for the following games to be removed from the list: Turbo Force, Nanostray 2, Darius Gaiden, Touhou, 1942 (NES) and 1942 Joint Strike.

And I'd like to add Ocean Commander to the list.

I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to like something. Many of my favorite albums I didn't like at first. Usually there is 1 or 2 songs that I can get into right away. Then slowly the rest grows on me. The ironic thing is that usually the songs that initially bring me to the album become my least favorite.

[Observer]

Agreed. Darius Gaiden needs to be taken out right now.

Same with Touhou. I mean, what is Touhou? The name alone doesn't mean jack shit. Does it include the fighters? The original, which mixed Arkanoid/Breakout? Or the excellent Shoot the Bullet and Double Spoiler? Come on. I don't like UFO either (actually, I find it so annoying it's pretty much the only one I didn't 1cc so far) but not all of them are really that bad either.

edit: another awful one, Razor2 Hidden Skies, which seems completely abandoned by the developers... which already have fame for abandoning projects given the lack of support or response on their other games' forums.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PxnbfbqfFQ

Inspired by RayStorm, it does it all wrong. Just look at the fucking popcorn ships! I mean, they don't bank, turn or do jack! Look at Alltynex2nd or Ether Vapor (good to see it was taken out, it has flaws but it's far from terrible). They might not be the prettiest games around but ships, mechs and stuff banks, turns, comes rolling and doing neat flight patterns. It all shows some care was put on the enemy waves (but moreso on Alltynex2nd than Ether Vapor).

Let's not even mention the lo-fi sound.

edit2: it's also poorly programmed. Sorry, even if it's another latin american effort (this one is brazilian, Protöthea is argentinean), it just doesn't cut it.

[Treasurance]

yeah, Darius Gaiden off

I usually dislike horis but that one was pretty decent

[Skykid]

yeah, Darius Gaiden off

I usually dislike horis but that one was pretty decent

Whoops, sorry, thought I already removed that. Done.

[TrevHead (TVR)]

I agree with observer Touhou really does need to taking off, put Touhou Fandom and Bad Touhou Clones on the list instead

I second Razor 2 aswell, its a shite in a shiny metallic bag

Anyone remember that Codergames chap who tried peddling his bad euroshmups on here about 6 months back?
Add him, any games his made now and in the future and any shmups that his children and childrens children might make

[Aisha]

"Bad Touhou Clones" isn't specific enough.

Super Mate Mate Laser should be taken off the list as well. It's just too early to pass judgement on it since the game is still very early in development, and the only iterations of it that have been released so far are just test and design demos. Playing one of them doesn't give you the sense of what the final version will be like (other than it possibly resembling an arena shooter) since there's no structure or progression implemented yet.