So I just now dumped my girlfriend of 4.5 years...

[evil_ash_xero]

Sometimes I think having a lobotomy is the only way to successfully be in a relationship.

[xbl0x180]

and you know what? We slapped a high five and called it a day.
Because I felt that we drifted apart over the years so much that there was no emotional involvement any more.
We got along really well, we just weren't in love at all anymore.

So the plan is that we try to keep sharing the same flat.
This will probably ring a lot of peoples alarm bells, so my question is:

Has anyone ever had a similar experience where living with an ex turned out to be a good solution?

Any other good tips for a breakup?

It sounds like a bad idea [for me]. That's tantamount to saying, "I'm no longer an alcoholic, but I will be working at a bar 10 hours a day." I'd make a clean break, get rid of my junk, and move somewhere cheap (save some money along the way)

Then, a year later it hits you and you realize how hard good single people are to find.

THIS. When I feel like I hate my wife and want a divorce, I browse the craigslist personals of my hometown, and all of the sudden I'm in love again and want a second child.

Tis true. No matter how much you love someone, you'll always hate them a bit too; but while half the time I'm ready to commit some kind of domestic violence, the other half I'm thankful to have someone good to share life with and not have to revisit all that ronery dating malarkey.

Hahaha. It's funny because it's true. I've pretty much completely given up on finding someone to date on a regular basis - and this is in Southern California, where people assume there is a lot of variety in people. While there is physical variety, everyone is pretty much the same in terms of principles, values, and personality

[Teufel_in_Blau]

[ancestral-knowledge]

leave her and come with me to Sunrise Festival 2012:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1NDbLqmDc8

got a spare ticket! 2011 was amazing

OH KURWA

[DragonInstall]

Living with your ex. Sounds like some drama tv shit.

[Udderdude]

[CHI]

Now you're separated, do it properly and live separately, it's the only way to get yourself back on track with life... And stay positive

[JBC]

I'm definitely not going to go against the grain of the forum here and speaking from experience, I wouldn't want to. Either move out or kick her out, but whatever you do I suggest finding someone else to slam immediately. It may sound sleazy but it does wonders for the post-breakup emotional state and helps keep the chin up.

[Drachenherz]

?.. helps keep the chin up.

And other parts of the body.

[rapoon]

^ yes.

Run your dick through someone, preferably a female, asap.

[rapoon]

Hahaha. It's funny because it's true. I've pretty much completely given up on finding someone to date on a regular basis - and this is in Southern California, where people assume there is a lot of variety in people. While there is physical variety, everyone is pretty much the same in terms of principles, values, and personality

the older you get, the harder it becomes. actually, that's debatable. a lot of women in their late 20's/early 30's wake the fuck up (halfway) from fantasy land and realize the fairy tale will
never happen.......... but women who "know what they want" are problematic as well. I lived in LA >10 years ago, don't remember too much about ppls overall disposition other than everyone was eager to get fucked up. Dallas is bursting at the seam with gorgeous women, all 5 flavors. Perky tits, perfect asses, beautiful hair. It's a fucking candy store. Problem is when they open their mouth: pretentious, materialistic (far more than your avg woman). Bust out the chloroform and duct tape.

[rancor]

Dallas is bursting at the seam with gorgeous women, all 5 flavors. Perky tits, perfect asses, beautiful hair. It's a fucking candy store. Problem is when they open their mouth: pretentious, materialistic (far more than your avg woman). Bust out the chloroform and duct tape.

It's almost as if based solely on your description, I can pinpoint your location with laser-like accuracy. I'm guessing N. Dallas - hmm.. lets say the lower Greenville/SMU area? haha..
I know exactly what you're talking about, and that's one of the reasons I moved the hell out of there! haha..

[xbl0x180]

Dallas is bursting at the seam with gorgeous women, all 5 flavors. Perky tits, perfect asses, beautiful hair. It's a fucking candy store. Problem is when they open their mouth: pretentious, materialistic (far more than your avg woman). Bust out the chloroform and duct tape.

It's almost as if based solely on your description, I can pinpoint your location with laser-like accuracy. I'm guessing N. Dallas - hmm.. lets say the lower Greenville/SMU area? haha..
I know exactly what you're talking about, and that's one of the reasons I moved the hell out of there! haha..

I can attest that girls here are also very much the same. If a guy wants to be in their good graces, he has to make at least a six-figure salary (150K at least), drive expensive vehicles, own a house in a posh area - own expensive things, period - aaaaand he has to look like Brad Pitt. If my family didn't live here, I'd immediately move back home to Latin America

[Skykid]

materialistic (far more than your avg woman).

And since we're living in an increasingly materialistic world, and women are easily duped by materialism (caz dey gatta rook pretty), it's getting harder to avoid gals with this disposition.

They should offer gold digging at degree level.

[Acid King]

The only person I've ever known to attempt living with an ex ended up on a bitter, hate-filled descent into drug addiction, crime and homelessness.

Good luck.... Yooooou'll need it!

[DEL]

ancestral-knowledge showing his ancestral knowledge wrote;

What the fuck are you waiting for? Until the next guy appears in your flat so you can hear them fucking through the door and doing nasty, dirty things you never were allowed to do to her ? (Of course she will get pregnant after 1 week of sex because he will be Mr Fucking Right.) Or are you a pussy that unconsciously wants to get back together?

HAHAHA
Don't hold back now Son

4.5 years and Jockel splits
The old Bruce Willis quote springs to mind; "There's no such thing as love, its just Lust in disguise".
Plus the other factoid - Lust lasts 2 years.

Anyway - RUN Avoid the max multipliers

[Randorama]

This thread is so bad it is actually awesome.

[BryanM]

a lot of women in their late 20's/early 30's wake the fuck up (halfway) from fantasy land and realize the fairy tale will never happen..........

This (combined with the shitpile my life has become) is what allowed me to allow my evil ex to use her evil siren song to trap me again. "She's twenty eight freaking years old, no one non-STD ridden wants to put a baby in there, maybe she's grown up into something resembling an adult..."

I knew my logic was shaky, as its foundation was "hope". And was gravely influenced by boobies.

It is a sick kind of logic - "I deserve someone way better than myself." Women can actually accomplish it sometimes (boobies), but by and large you fall in to someone about like yourself. Hot Chicks With Douchebags has taught us that - penguins flock with penguins, douches with douches.

The best example of how disgusting this has warped us is that Dr.Date Rape guy. Dozens of raeps, some of the women dated him for months. All for the shot of maybe owning their own moderately attractive doctor.

While I would in theory be willing to swim naked across a piranha infested lake for a weird creepy misanthropic girl that's a 4/5 on the attractiveness scale, I'm perfectly happy to wait for those robot wives to come around. Or live forever arone, whatever. No relationship (until those mechanical women with their foot massages are invented) is all upside.

Dallas..

Texas seriously fucks up everyone that has to grow up there. My ex was from there. My father was from there. They had exceptional, non-obvious psychological problems, and brother I'm a man with a few psychological problems. So I would know.

[xbl0x180]

Oh, and for God's sake, DON'T be a "friend." Well, you could be friends with her if 1) you're actually gay and/or 2) you found someone way better/higher on your ladder (i.e., better looks, younger, smarter, funnier)

a lot of women in their late 20's/early 30's wake the fuck up (halfway) from fantasy land and realize the fairy tale will never happen........

But by then it's too late, the ship has sailed as their stock plummets from growing older, fatter, and they start using some kind of awful, home-made auburn hair colouring job, or their hair is dry and heat-damaged from overusing the curling iron, or they draw in their eyebrows, and they have a lot of sun damage

[Shelcoof]

I'm going to go with all the majority of the people here and say someone is going to have to move out. I don't see it working out if you two still lived together. That's just a formula for disaster which many have pointed out.

Personally I don't believe in being friends after a break up. Once the relationship is over its over even if it was "mutual" you should part ways as quickly as you can and move on.

[Skykid]

All this advice is wrong Jockel.

If you're living under the same roof, just convince her that you should remain friends but continue to have casual sex because everybody has needs. Just keep that going until you find a new squeeze.

Judging by your participation in this thread, it sounds like something you may have already embarked on.

[GateofThunderforceIII]

Get the F out!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mesh control]

Get a new squeeze and see if you can work out a three way.

[BryanM]

Get a new squeeze and see if you can work out a three way.

Don't listen to this man! He is trying to give you the genital herps

[emphatic]

All this advice is wrong Jockel.

If you're living under the same roof, just convince her that you should remain friends but continue to have casual sex because everybody has needs. Just keep that going until you find a new squeeze.

Judging by your participation in this thread, it sounds like something you may have already embarked on.

^^ This man is onto something. Post-breakup sex is nasty and great.

[rapoon]

Dallas is bursting at the seam with gorgeous women, all 5 flavors. Perky tits, perfect asses, beautiful hair. It's a fucking candy store. Problem is when they open their mouth: pretentious, materialistic (far more than your avg woman). Bust out the chloroform and duct tape.

It's almost as if based solely on your description, I can pinpoint your location with laser-like accuracy. I'm guessing N. Dallas - hmm.. lets say the lower Greenville/SMU area? haha..
I know exactly what you're talking about, and that's one of the reasons I moved the hell out of there! haha..

I've lived in N.Dallas in the past (general area mentioned, off Lemon). I'm in Plano now. It makes no difference: Plano, Addison, Las Colinas, etc, etc.
For the most part, the self-entitled, douchebag, 30k millionaire mentality has weaseled its way into all surrounding cities. Small pockets remain free
from the douchebag invasion (Bishops Art district in Oak Cliff, Lakewood) but they're slowly being overrun. Our manpower and supplies are in short supply.

back on topic: yes, post breakup sex is awesome. do all the nasty shit you didn't have the balls to do, or didn't do out of respect.

[GaijinPunch]

Texas seriously fucks up everyone that has to grow up there. My ex was from there. My father was from there. They had exceptional, non-obvious psychological problems, and brother I'm a man with a few psychological problems. So I would know.

Every now and again you get a truly exceptional person that comes from there... grows long hair... achieves unmentionable internet popularity.

[Leader Bee]

Oh... you mean this guy?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRYA70W9xXo

[Jockel]

Status update:
It's still working out fine, we are on very good terms, still do stuff together, go to partys together, etc.
She saw me flirting heavily with two chicks and didn't mind, we went to a club with some guy that wants to nail her that she's interested in and everything was fine.
On our way home we laughed about the pathetic attempts of "Mr. Right".

And after that we just fucked for hours. Best sex we ever had. No regrets.
Friends with benefits, ITS HAPPENING GUISE!1111

[ryu]

first world problems