Why modern anime sucks nowadays?

[Randorama]

What plot inconsistencies? Use spoiler tags or small font. PLEASE? (N.D. Randorama)

In the anime, but not in the novels, some characters mention events which still have to occur, according to the linear plot. One occurs somewhere in the second or third episode, and there should be another 3 or or 4 in the rest of the series. Those are "problems", though, not problems, which very likely arise from the anime team not being careful enough in the adaptation.

These "problems" remain even if you watch the episodes in a linear fashion (obviously). However, a few are witty enough to conflate these small "problems" with the lack of a linear narration in the series, and conclude that Haruhi sucks "because the plot is confusing".
Mistery solved.

Besides, I wonder where you old chums

Please! I am in the prime of my youth and exuding with manhood, of course, I watch Toriko and reminisce about Saint Seiya. Yesterday I even opened a sports web site, and looked at the gym before going out for work. Could I be more manly than this?

pull the words like "meaning" from in times like this. "Hidden stuff" may be not "meaning", but some details of depicted world, or the sort of background occurences Haruhi is choke-full of that don't appear to carry much meaning but are just there for your viewing pleasure, nigh on impossible to spot first time around.

I don't really care about "meaning", nor about background occurrences which require careful observation to be spotted at first view.
If any work includes a passage that requires requires a second-third reading to make sense, whether the "plot" is linear or not, it's the author's fault in not being clear in the presentation. Some authors and related fans (young and old) confuse this lack of basic skills with the need of finding "hidden meanings" or being "indie". Such streak of artfaggery seems to have not plagued too many anime, now, as in the past, although we all must agree that DragonBall Z requires more work of hermeneutics than being and time from Heidegger.

[Obiwanshinobi]

In the anime, but not in the novels, some characters mention events which still have to occur, according to the linear plot. One occurs somewhere in the second or third episode, and there should be another 3 or or 4 in the rest of the series. Those are "problems", though, not problems, which very likely arise from the anime team not being careful enough in the adaptation.

Examples, please.

If any work includes a passage that requires requires a second-third reading to make sense, whether the "plot" is linear or not, it's the author's fault in not being clear in the presentation.

What about Haruhi didn't make sense to you after the first watching?

Who's trying hard? You make it so easy.

Make what easy?

[Randorama]

Examples, please.

In the "melancholy of Haruhi pt.6" it is not clear if they return to the previous world they were in, or they end up in a new world created while in the "closed reality". In the novel it is more or less clear that they go back to the original world. If I remember well, one hint is missing in the episode, i.e. they did not add this small episode and made clear that they go back. This is definitely a "problem", and more an omission than an inconsistency. We need to check, for the other 2-3 inconsistencies. But please see below.

What about Haruhi didn't make sense to you after the first watching?

I think that there is a misunderstanding.

Haruhi is well-crafted and ingenious, and the non-linear construnction of the plot requires a modicum of memory and focus. I had no problems following the plot, since I bothered to remember and put together the events even if they didn't happen the previous episode...In other words, I wouldn't think of defending this series from the accuse of being convoluted and non-sensical, because it is not even convoluted, just non-linear, hence any accusation to this effect (and defense from this accusation) is unjustified. If it were, there wouldn't have been any good excuse to defend it, though, because it would have been messy artfaggery, i.e. something poorly crafted and conned as a "deep" product (say, post-modern stuff).

However, a good amount of flack that the show receives is that the non-linear plot is confusing and marred with holes or ambiguities, hence poorly presented. I find this unjustified, since if one watches the episode in a linear order (i.e. the "problem" of non-linearity is removed), then the 3-4 "problems" remain, and play a rather minor role in understanding the big plot, unless one can't live with open endings. Then again, I think that, say, one third of shows adapted from Manga and Light novels have these problems, now much like back in the day, when manly anime held an iron grip on gullible kids.

[Siren2011]

If any work includes a passage that requires requires a second-third reading to make sense, whether the "plot" is linear or not, it's the author's fault in not being clear in the presentation.

So by that line of reasoning, Memento is a piece of shit movie. :/ Maybe I only think it falls under the description you just mentioned because I wasn't sharp enough to fully put the pieces together during my first watch alone (there is so much information being given to the viewer during some movies that it's easy for some of it to be unnoticed or ignored on a first watch.). If someone shows me an ink blob and pulls on my sleeve saying "LOOK, man! ARET. DIS IS MODDERNE ARET! FIND TEH MEANIN.'", I would simply laugh at them. But if a movie gives you a reason to come back and make complete sense of what happened by bringing your own interpretation using clues the film gave you (search my "Memento" thread in Off Topic, and you will see that we all came to more or less the same conclusion about the film), I don't see anything wrong with that. But as far as I know, Memento is the only film to be successful in that regard. If the movie barely gives any answers at all, and leaves the viewer to basically make half of the story himself in his mind, THEN I could see your argument as being valid. That would obviously be laziness on the part of the film's makers, or, as you said, blatant artfagotry.

[Randorama]

If any work includes a passage that requires requires a second-third reading to make sense, whether the "plot" is linear or not, it's the author's fault in not being clear in the presentation.

So by that line of reasoning, Memento is a piece of shit movie. :/

No, and you say what's wrong with this conclusion below:

Maybe I only think it falls under the description you just mentioned because I wasn't sharp enough to fully put the pieces together during my first watch alone (there is so much information being given to the viewer during some movies that it's easy for some of it to be unnoticed or ignored on a first watch.).

If any "communicative work" is very dense but very well organized, i.e. it does not presuppose information that should be given to the "receiver", then the authors have done their job well. Short-term memory in human beings sucks, so sometimes we just don't notice that the pieces are there to be put together. Luckily one can see things more than once. If one has to divine what the author had in mind, then the author is at fault of artfaggotry: say, Ikea instructions must be the output of deeply deranged hipsters.

Truth to be told, I haven't seen much artfaggotry in anime, but then again I only watch top-notch material such as Toriko, obviously.

[Siren2011]

I haven't seen much artfaggotry in anime.

The letdown that was the last couple of episodes of Evangelion, and the hugely disappointing last episode of Berserk (deus ex machina) are the only examples I can find of this. Both cases aroused a collective uproar within the anime community, and at that point there was endless debating of the "deeper implications" of Shinji's subconscious being exposed, what "third impact" really was, and whether or not everything in the last episode of Berserk was Griffith's hallucination due to his health deteriorating. Both are bullshit, and only one of them got the proper conclusion (End of Evangelion by Manga Entertainment).

*SPOILERZ*


I know nothing says "loose ends tied" like your best friend whom you just rescued from death killing your friends and raping your girlfriend dressed as the dude from Gatchaman. Great.

[Randorama]

The letdown that was the last couple of episodes of Evangelion, and the hugely disappointing last episode of Berserk (deus ex machina) are the only examples I can find of this. Both cases aroused a collective uproar within the anime community, and at that point there was endless debating of the "deeper implications" of Shinji's subconscious being exposed, what "third impact" really was, and whether or not everything in the last episode of Berserk was Griffith's hallucination due to his health deteriorating. Both are bullshit, and only one of them got the proper conclusion (End of Evangelion by Manga Entertainment).

The original end of Evangelion was due to lack of money. They decided to present an "existentialist" plot so they could be in the budget (they didn't: the story should be on wikipedia), and thus say that the third impact was about growing up. It was a pretty bad, rushed up conclusion. Gintama's version is even clearer than the original.

End of Evangelion is the "true" ending. Throughout the series, they hint that Angels have enough power to cancel small AT fields and thus reduce all life forms to LCL; and that all humans are the off-spring of Lilith, etc. They were tying up all loose plots...in the most spectacular way, I'd add.

I agree that the "it was just an hallucination" ploy usually signals that the authors fucked up with the plot and try to cover their mistakes. It appears in various media from time to time, sadly.

[Casper<3]

I just finished Sen-Shoujo Iczelion. If you're into mecha-musume, I highly recommend it. (1995)

Also currently watching Spice & Wold II (2010) Really love it.

[Siren2011]

End of Evangelion is the "true" ending. Throughout the series, they hint that Angels have enough power to cancel small AT fields and thus reduce all life forms to LCL; and that all humans are the off-spring of Lilith, etc. They were tying up all loose plots...in the most spectacular way, I'd add.

I definitely agree about it being spectacular. I had never seen anything quite like End of Eva when I was a teen, so it was one hell of a roller coaster. Perhaps the most interesting thing about that series is how it lead you to believe that it was just another mecca anime; nothing out of the ordinary, here. Then the dark theme hits you from behind from out of nowhere, and you learn that there is more to the Evangelions than meets the eye...possibly one of my favorite episodes is when Unit 01 gets trapped inside of the angel which looks like a sphere. The second most interesting moment for me was how the one angel who was outside of Earth's atmosphere managed to invade Asuka's A.T. field and torture her mind.

One thing that doesn't make sense is how Seele and Gendo were opposed at the end when they had the same fundamental agenda: destroy man, and in his place create a new beginning for mankind. And why they desired this destruction (as an organization, not just by Gendo's personal motives.) was never really revealed.

And they don't even explain the absurdity of why NERV "wanted" the angels destroyed in the first place if all the people at the top (the U.N., and even lower NERV personnel were left in the dark about their true motives, hence why the former sent out an army to shut the place down once they did find out.) of the organization wanted 3rd impact to happen all along. They even reveal their wishes in the first or second episode, for fuck's sake. Big sign that said "HUMAN INSTRUMENTALITY PROJECT" lie on the wall of SEELE's office. Then it was revealed that 2nd impact was not a horrific accident, but it was purposely initiated by Ikari and Fuyutsuki's team during their mission in Antartica to reduce Adam to an embryonic state once they anticipated his arrival on earth. We just know that Gendo just wanted to see his wife again. You know what they say about people, if you fabricate a convincing enough story for them to believe, you can use them to meet ends. That's why I think he was able to pull the whole thing off. He even screwed over the people he had to answer to! All of the turmoil he made everyone he knew get involved in was all done for this event (for this reason, Gendo Ikari is the narcissist to end all narcissists).

But yeah, hands down the best part of End of Evangelion was Asuka's fight with the mass produced Eva units 1-8. God I love that show. It had one of the best soundtracks in anime ever. I still need to see the second installment to the revision. Though the animation is extraordinarily impressive, I wasn't too crazy about the pacing of 1.0.

[Randorama]

Ironically, Evangelion was built upon the concept that should have become the sequel to Wings of Honnemaise. Gainax were, however, given an afternoon slot for the show, so they toned down a number of aspects and inserted fanservice to appease the teenagers, with little success. Consequently, it was designed as a Seinen sci-fi series, and had to endure a re-marketing to shounen audiences for its first half.

The show was moved to a Seinen range (I think Saturday night, dinner time) from episode 14, and from that moment onwards it suddenly became *immensely* popular. Anno was given green light to re-insert all the more serious, adult-oriented themes in the series, and fanservice disappeared all of a sudden. In other words, the series exploded when it was sold to the correct audience, which apparently was starving of worthy series.

Evangelion represents very well the beginning of the general problem that I see with viritually all more adult-themed Anime starting from the '90s. The series itself touches a lot of themes in a relatively smart way, yet at the same time it started the worrysome trend of having several disfunctional narrative elements including (but not limited to):

1. Completely wimpy (Shinji) or totally psychotic (Asuka), and generally deeply annoying, main characters;
2. A lot of design elements from older series in a deeply derivative way (Eva 01 is a cut and pasted Guyver);
3. A lot of really retarded fanservice in the first half (I mean, Tekkaman Blade amounts);
4. On top of that, Shinji wants to bang a clone of his mom while constantly fighting his dad (...Oedipus rex Ikari?), which is just plain depressing, although it makes sense within Japanese culture (*don't* ask to know more).

...and 5. Sometimes the series touches serious topics in a rather shallow way (say, every once in a while there is some comment on "science" and that's about it).

In a sense, Evangelion marked a decline in the quality of the speculative aspect in Anime (in particular Seinen ones), which nowadays seems very hard to find around. I am not implying that there aren't stimulating anime around (e.g. the recent AnoHana, Tatami no Galaxy, etc.), but I do miss works such as Ashita No Joe, or the first Harlock series, as they tried a bit harder to say something worth reflecting upon, even if they were "mere" Anime.

DragonBall Z (and fans) can go and fuck itself, thank you very much.

[Hagane]

About the thread title: nostalgia. Even though there's a lot of garbage in modern anime, there's more interesting stuff now than in the 90s or 80s. Stuff like Dennou Coil, Michiko to Hatchin, Seirei no Moribito, Mononoke, Detroit Metal City, etc. are pretty new and are great. Also, Berserk will be adapted to movies starting next year, which will probably be the best thing ever (Berserk fanboy here ).

[Skykid]

About the thread title: nostalgia.

Sigh.

From several pages back:

And what Ganelon said too. Drop it with the rose-tinted glasses thing.

For posterity, I actually mentioned the same feelings on the first page. It's one of the most annoying arguments.

It's an argument I hate, because quite simply there is a difference between awesome stuff and crap stuff, and it really annoys me when folk play the 'nostalgia' card like it simply excuses a pile of generic twaddle because "you don't understand it because it's not something you grew up with."
I'm not saying everything produced today is guff, but why the hell would any generation want to grow up watching shows about teen angst ridden, gang sign throwing yaoi kids?

[Randorama]

For posterity:

Great shows like DragonBall Z (The first ten episodes) or Hokuto no Ken, or manly stuff (eating KFC? watching NFL?)

at most deserves a:

Nostalgia

Also for posterity, though:

Where's stuff on par with Wings of Honnemaise?

must be re-iterated. Kids, modern authors must grow a pair and dare to touch serious topics that go beyond the generic "ah, the distance between humans in this virtual age" of Denno Coil (exempli gratia), possibly not in the terribly messy way of Code Geass.

[Skykid]

For posterity:

Great shows like DragonBall Z (The first ten episodes) or Hokuto no Ken, or manly stuff (eating KFC? watching NFL?)

Sorry mate, that's a mis-quote. I never cited Dragonball 'Z' (I find it boring) and I'd rather shove hot pokers through my eyes than watch the NFL.

[Siren2011]

1. Completely wimpy (Shinji) or totally psychotic (Asuka), and generally deeply annoying, main characters.

Personally, I love the fact that basically all of the characters are flawed to various extremes. I was never really annoyed at Shinji's cowardice, or Asuka's seemingly endless PMScapades. I even loved the back story surrounding Asuka and why she behaves the way she does. It makes for a more convincing and interesting show.

Ironically, Evangelion was built upon the concept that should have become the sequel to Wings of Honnemaise. Gainax were, however, given an afternoon slot for the show, so they toned down a number of aspects and inserted fanservice to appease the teenagers, with little success. Consequently, it was designed as a Seinen sci-fi series, and had to endure a re-marketing to shounen audiences for its first half.

Very interesting insights...I had no idea that Eva started out as a marketing failure before it exploded.

[cools]

I watched Darker Than Black based on the recommendations in this topic.

Glad I didn't pay to do so.

[Siren2011]

Cools, how many episodes did you watch? I was almost done with the first one, but I got distracted. That's disappointing to hear because I was impressed by the pilot. Oh well, maybe I'll think of it differently when I watch all of it myself.

[xbl0x180]

One thing I noticed that might be different from 15 years ago is that North American (and maybe European) companies aren't licensing as many one-shot oavs. Most stuff I'm seeing on the shelves and on-line are series or movies. Gone are the days when I could browse and see Plastic Little, Sol Bianca, Devil Hunter Yohko, Madonna, Shonan Bakusozoku, Iczer, and such. Are there new oavs out there being licensed for North American distribution? Are there oavs being made at all?

[GaijinPunch]

In the spirit of this thread I've gotten Crusher Joe... only got 10 minutes into before passing out. Was DEAD tired, but I will give it the attention it deserves.

[Udderdude]

Hey guys check out this manga I found it's so kawaii ^_^;

http://5.p.s.mfcdn.net/store/manga/2616 ... 77_078.jpg

[Randorama]

Sorry mate, that's a mis-quote. I never cited Dragonball 'Z' (I find it boring) and I'd rather shove hot pokers through my eyes than watch the NFL.

How come? With all the manlyness that the NFL exhudes! (this coming from an ex-rugby scrum-half, btw...)

Seriously, the criticism is against the whole "anime were cool when they were about uni-dimensional cretins fighting all the time in mechas", which might pass as a manly thing. As far as i am concerned I'd rather watch Yaoi anime if I really need to waste my time, since I have coniugal reasons to do so. "Manly" things are, actually, activities such as going out, playing outdoors sports (e.g. rugby, water polo, climbing), chopping wood, do the goose step, raping innocent girls, picking up fights to play Side Arms at the local arcade, etc. Watching anime, playing videogames, and similar other things, collecting things are for sissies and wimps, so everybody should stfu, in this forum.

...And then there's the general lack of gonads, or guts, that is not specific to Anime, probably, and that it involves the inability to sit down, write a work that touches serious topics without trying to pontificate and "teach the masses", and in general show that the authors have a pair and are able to offer intelligent entertainment (not just well-crafted one), so to speak, whether they are men or women, or even t-girls. Having Sakamoto to work back on a movie or a series might not be bad, either, but I do not know if his current material is any good.

Very interesting insights...I had no idea that Eva started out as a marketing failure before it exploded.

The first half had poor ratings, and Gainax were knee-deep in trouble already, as they had to pay loans for Honnemaise, and in general they were in poor shape. As soon as they moved the series in a different slot, the series become immensely popular, but money arrived after the series ended. They didn't have budget money when they had to produce the last two episodes, they were having problem with the japanese fiscal body (somebody was arrested, too). Once the money poured in, they fixed all the problems and prepared the "true" final episode.

As per the characters being a bunch of freaks...that's what the series is about, really. One underlying theme is that the world ends with a bang thanks to people who, at the most basic level, are not able to face the difficulties of life. Say, Seele decide to turn everybody into LCL because they can't accept that people may not agree all the time, while at the same time taking old fairy tales as a trustworthy reference. How retarded is that?

I'll double post for ease of readability, Apologies to everybody.

[Randorama]

Second post, sorry.

Another problem is that, in the last 20 years or so, more adult-oriented series became a distinct market, that of Seinen ("young adults") manga and anime. In the '70s and '80s shounen (i.e. for "boys") manga and anime often catered to "older people, hence they could at the same time have a good dose of action to make the teenagers happy, but also propose some elements of reflection to attract, say, the uni freshmen.

Once seinen magazines appeared on the horizon, the two markets differentiated and shounen slowly became "dumber", since they invariably catered to high school students. This was bad news for anime, since the relevant anime markets are based on younger populations, as far as I know.

So, while until a given point we could get decent series as a by-product of having shounen manga adapted into anime, from a given point onwards we had to pray a bit that seinen series were going to be adapted, to fill in the late night/Saturday night slots on tv. Another problem is that most seinen manga offer poor anime material, market-wise: virtually all seinen magazines are monthly, and adapting monthly series to weekly anime is more or less a nightmare, except maybe for OVAs.

People who already watched the more adult shounen anime could not possibly appreciate this change. I think that 90% or so of "newer" series that skykid have praised so far in this thread are actually seinen series (say, Kenshin, Battle Angel Alita, Blade of the Immortal). This, of course, does not touch the topic of movies or OVAs, which are also rather peculiar markets. I remain of the contention that, after Mononoke Hime, we may as well as forfeit any future hope for well-thought movies (guys, please show me that I am wrong).

Personally, I think that Inoue's REAL could become a *great* anime. REAL is a basketball manga from the Slam Dunk's author. It presents the story of a group of wheel-chair basketball players, as deeply emarginated people who try to make a sense of their lives as outcasts via basketball, often offering some serious reflections about the topics it touches. As long as we do not get this kind of content in anime (too), I can't see how the whole medium has not gone downhill (not down the drain, downhill), overall.

[Strider77]

Just watch Deadman and Akagi already. Recent anime, manly men doing manly things, no moeblobs, problem solved.

Akagi

Deadman - Mildly NSFW

It's surprisingly hard to find anime footage on youtube, haha.

The music in that Deadman trailer was quite douche-tastic.

[Skykid]

My thoughts on recently watched Gunbuster from the Recommended Anime thread next door:

Just finished Gunbuster this morning and damn, that's what it's all about.
I can't believe it took me that long to actually watch something that awesome, I should have been onto that from the beginning (I knew of its existence of course.)

It was terrific. I was totally seduced by the beautiful colour and design work, and that incredible depth of imagination Anime had when they were all about exploring sci-fi.

SPOILERS:

The whole messing with Einstein's theory of relativity and light travel versus time was capitalised on beautifully. I'm not sure that the maths was always accurate, but it didn't matter because it was cemented so well into the storyline. And yes, this had what we would consider today as fairly trite themes: Young girls in skimpy clothing, a smattering of tits and ass, a hero who has to find her inner strength to prevail and become a hero of the ages, and lots of melodrama; yet it was still utterly captivating. All the influences were great (I was loving the product placement), and the SD science lessons were brilliant. I loved the fact that Gainax were bold enough to tell folks there was no episode 5 preview because "we haven't finished it yet", that Noriko has Miyazaki tributes on her wall and that they came up with a warp technology pioneered by prof 'Tanneuser' who developed the 'Tanneuser Gate', lol.

"I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate." - Roy Batty, Blade Runner

And, I'm sure this has been mentioned in the past (but it was a new association for me), but does anyone see the quite obvious Gunbuster influence in MD Advanced Busterhawk Gleylancer?
I didn't really have both pieces of the puzzle until now, but Gleylancer is like Gunbuster the shmup that never was!

Closing: I don't care for the rose tinted glasses argument, yet I'm willing to accept that some of what I find beautiful about Anime was definitely crystallised in the Gunbuster era. That said, on the flip side, taking the 80's aura out of the frame, it's still more fun, with stronger characters, greater heart and a thousand times more artistry than the tin-canned factory pieces they churn out today. Someone show me something as good as Gunbuster that was made in the last decade and I'll eat my head.

EDIT: Getting Diebuster now.

Why post here?

Cos I just watched the first episode of Diebuster. If there were ever an opportunity to capitalise on the stark contrasts between then and now, it doesn't get much riper than the gulf of difference between 1988's Gunbuster and 2004's spiritual sequel Diebuster.

WTF did I just watch? I went from Gunbuster's beautiful sci-fi worlds, crafted with love, detail and buckets of imagination, to the most bland nondescript representation of a sci-fi 'world' ever - and it turned out in the closing minutes to be Mars. That was Mars?!
There's absolutely no comparison between the gorgeousness of Gunbuster's original cel work and this soulless Flash imposter - the two are simply a million miles apart and it's got nothing to do with rose tinted preferences.

And what happened to all of the character in the characters? This episode had practically no script or point. Everything feels haphazard and stuffed into bursts of quick rambling dialogue. As in Gunbuster, the lead in this is a klutz, but the way in which she's portrayed is completely different. She just screams a lot, has little to no unique qualities or distinctions and her tomfoolery seems to be the most integral factor in the show. The opening seconds featuring her punching her dog and going on to camp up what I was expecting to be an OVA with a semi-serious demeanour, like its predecessor. Why is all the bad comedy necessary? Can't kids watch Anime anymore unless it has bouts of hyperactive slapstick every two seconds, or, like in this opener, a lecherous old man trying to peer up a young girls skirt?

The fight at the end was rubbish. There was no build up, no presence and no drama. The monster looked shit, like a big bumble bee, and the Buster was flipping CG?! Sacrilege!

In the last few moments of the show, our 'hero' turned out to be able to breathe in the vacuum of space... before ripping her tits out for no apparent reason and then fly kicking the monster into a million pieces without the aid of any weaponry, and in the vacuum of space. Whu?!
Even if there's an explanation for that, I'm not sure I want to hear it tbh.

I'm really not compelled to watch any more of this rather troubling show for fear it will taint the fond memories I now harbour of the original series. Has anyone seen this Diebuster before, and is it famous for having a real shit opening and then getting much much better?

If not, I'm deleting it.

[xbl0x180]

Dude, stop seeing things through nostalgic, rose-coloured glasses




























I had a feeling DieBuster sucked from seeing bits of it on YouTube. The designs for it ranged from simplistic to terrible (worse than Evangelion).

[Randorama]

I am going to comment on both of your posts by disembedding the first one and merging it with the embedding comment:

Just finished Gunbuster this morning and damn, that's what it's all about.
I can't believe it took me that long to actually watch something that awesome, I should have been onto that from the beginning (I knew of its existence of course.)

It was terrific. I was totally seduced by the beautiful colour and design work, and that incredible depth of imagination Anime had when they were all about exploring sci-fi.

Gunbuster is a shojo anime mixed with hard sci-fi mecha anime, which is quintessential shonen. It is a story of a girl who tries to lives to his daddy's expectations, although she's apparently a Klutz. She attempts to reach this goal and pays a high price for this, as in standard shojo Mangas of this sub-genre (see e.g. Shin Attack). Note: yes, there are plenty of shonen "coming-of-age" anime ("hero must endure hardships") anime, but the extra-defining feature of girls' ones is that they try to meet family expectations (and are klutz). The girls were dressed in "sexy" dresses to have boys stomaching a shojo manga mixed with mechas.
Furthermore, they bothered to take "seriously" the physics behind it and use it in the plot. Rose-tinted glasses or not, beyond Planetes no modern sci-fi anime has been able to use physics within the plot in a proper way.

Someone show me something as good as Gunbuster that was made in the last decade and I'll eat my head.

Well, Planetes! I have also been told that Towards the terra is "rose-tinted" great, but it is a remake of a 1978 movie, so it doesn't count.

WTF did I just watch? [/i]

A "sequel" made to capitalize Gainax's 20th anniversary, aimed at die-hard fans (shut-ins, pervs), and not directed by Anno. All the bad aspects you list stem from this basic fact. Gainax was on the fence with Evangelion, and maybe except for Gurrenn Lagann, went really downhill after, guess what?, Honnemaise.

Can't kids watch Anime anymore unless it has bouts of hyperactive slapstick every two seconds, or, like in this opener, a lecherous old man trying to peer up a young girls skirt?

That's Tekkaman Blade, a '70s anime, which was all about camel toes and nipples (yes, in the '70s), and dumb slapstick. Dash Kappei's plot revolved around the main character being obsessed with pants and upskirts ('81). So, the return[i/] of these trivial aspects in anime is possibly a problem, but not a new thing.

This type of fan-service exists since forever, Japanese are a bunch of perverts since forever...the "tentacle" genre is based on a painting of the 17th century, if you want to know.

[Ghegs]

That's Tekkaman Blade, a '70s anime, which was all about camel toes and nipples (yes, in the '70s), and dumb slapstick.

The 70's anime is just called Tekkaman, or Tekkaman: The Space Knight. Tekkaman Blade (or Teknoman) came out in 1992 and has no fanservice like that, if I recall. But it is a pretty fun watch.

[Ex-Cyber]

Randorama might be thinking of Tekkaman Blade II, which does have a noticeable amount of fanservice and slapstick; the main character is a clumsy teenage girl. I wish I were making that up.

[Randorama]

Whoops! I actually was thinking to Yatterman and Time Bokan, which had tons of fan-service, not Tekkaman. In Gunbird 2, in which the baddies are basically the antagonist trio from Time Bokan, there's a nipple slip joke, as a homage to the series. It should be the cut scene before the fourth boss.

Here's a NSFW picture of Dash Kappei. You have to picture that in each episode this kind of shots were the norm, to get an idea of the ecchi nature of the series. There were plenty of ecchi anime in the '70s, perhaps even more than now, and rigorously involving teen-ager girls. At least in Time Bokan, we were treated to adult nipples. As for slapstick humor...Tom & Jerry came before modern anime, frankly.

[Obiwanshinobi]

Yattaman was FANTASTIC. I miss my Tatsunoko and am looking forward to Towa no Quon (despite the pimpish CG) as it reminds me of those shows in a way.