The official farked-up dream thread!

[RNGmaster]

Self-explanatory. I can't share any strange ones since I have an unfortunate habit of forgetting all but the least noteworhhy of my dreams. I hope some of you have a few that would be good for entertainment value.

[neorichieb1971]

In the past 2 months i've been fired 6 or 7 times. It takes me 3-5 seconds when I wake up to realize it wasn't real. My feelings are somewhat negative when I wake up.

[DragonInstall]

About a week ago I had a dream like this...

1. Found myself in my old house room fighting off a trex with a shotgun(the room was huge but the same design). Next to me was my friend's sister loading the wrong shell size into her gun. I then told her that won't work and we got into an argument while the t-rex destroyed the room.

2. Next it's morning and I'm just sitting on my balcony smoking, while thinking about what just happened.

Woke up after that.. So in my dream I was having a flashback of me fighting a t-rex. Makes no sense at all.

[Ruldra]

Yesterday night I had one where I was at the arcade and I saw a 2-player pinball machine, with a set of flippers on each end of the table. You could play it either co-op or versus, wonder if something like that ever existed. Then I saw a turn-based game that looked like Tetris. My brother challenged the guy playing it, won and the machine gave him $3000 bucks as a prize.

[Siren2011]

I had a farked up dream quite a while ago, but a dream like this is never forgotten.

I walked into my Aunt's master bathroom only to walk in on her masturbating. Right as she pulls the lips back, a fucking red crab crawls out of it with a miniature automatic machine gun mounted to his arm where his right pinchers should be. He proclaimed himself as "Snappy Vagina 2.0", snapping his left pinchers twice as he said it. I was mortified not by his gun, but by the situation. I ran for the door. He said, "keep the change you filthy animal" and proceeded to fire his weapon at me. It was a dart and it stung like hell. The dream seemed so real. Immediately afterwards, my vision became blurry. I grabbed the crab, screaming "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?", and I bashed his body against the wall. Instead of bleeding and having crab parts strewn everywhere, his body appeared as a 90s era telephone that had been destroyed, with wires and bolts scattered all over the floor. I turned around to see my Aunt. But she now had the face of Medusa-- with white hollow eyes and a narrow 6 inch snake-like tongue. Her eyes started glowing as she said, "THIS IS THE PRICE YOU PAY FOR SEEING ME LIKE...LIKE THIS! MHAHAHA!" I screamed "HEY, YOU'RE NOT MY AUNT!". An instant later, I woke in a cold sweat and a hard on.

Now you might ask, what does this shit mean in psychological terms? Fuck knows, dude. I was jacked up on morphine and happy pills around that time. Of course I would have a dream like this.

[RNGmaster]

Thank you for that mental image, Siren.

I recall dreams that I've had since I was about 9. Most are relatively mundane, but then there are the ones where I meet Dumbledore in a tree while skiing or the one where I climb up a high cliff, jump off, and as I'm falling really slowly I decide there's nothing to do except jerk off. Also, since I'm severely hypochondriac, I'll sometimes dream I have flesh-eating disease or pneumonic plague or some other obscure illness, and then I'll wake up at about 2 and test myself for symptoms for the next few hours.

Side note: I met a woman on a bus stop once who was really into New Age-type stuff. She said that drinking mugwort tea can make your dreams really vivid, and pretty much every interesting/farked up dream I've ever had was on that stuff. For the last few years I've been occasionally afraid to sleep because I think some of it is still in my system.

[BPzeBanshee]

I once had a dream where I was being chased by naked vampire girls (I was Grade 2 at the time) across the school. I'd rather not elaborate on any of the intricate details except for that I ran into a room, got tackled face-first by one of them...and then I woke up.

And they were actual girls I knew from school. And they didn't even look hot. How horrifying.

[ChainsawGuitarSP]

I used to get dreams like that all the time, at roughly the same age. Only they weren't vampires and they didn't even have skin. But then again, my mom was friends with a burn victim when I was younger, so the connection doesn't make it as fucked up as it normally would be. Haven't had any interesting dreams in recent memory, or any other sort of dreams whatsoever. My imagination is pitiful.

[neorichieb1971]

Slightly OT. I don't know if I were dreaming or not.

I've heard voices before, whilst being in my own bedroom. I don't know if I were asleep or awake which is the strange thing. When I was a child watching the light coming in through the curtains from the lamp post outside trying to sleep. An invisible entity came running up the stairs (sounds only), the door opened (sounds only) and it started to scrap me hard. Except from my point of view it felt like pillows brushing on my face rather than punches. Eventually it ran off and left me mortified. It happened once or twice after that too. So not a unique situation. I was 8-10 years old at the time.

I used to dream of a godzilla type creature shaking the ground in my street when I was a kid too. As the shakes got more rumbly I went into shock. I was dreaming I was watching out of my window looking for any signs of its body. I never did see its body. Which was the scariest thing of all, not knowing what it looked like. I heard its thunderous roar. When your a kid this shit makes you cream your pants.

[Ruldra]

Another weird dream last night. It was sort of a stage show: Schwarzenegger vs. The Joker. It wasn't a fight, more like one was trying to capture and get the upper hand on the other. Not sure I can describe what was really happening.

Those nonsensical dreams happens all the time with me. My mind is crazy like that.

[charlie chong]

i had a weird one the other week (i have loads of weird dreams this is just the most recent memory)
i was in a giant white room filled with like 100 beds in one of the beds. i cant recall if all or many of the beds were taken. i was lying in this bed listening to some crazy ethnic music in my headphones when i feel someone kicking.so i take off my headphones and open my eyes and its an indian woman in the bed next door.she then gets in my bed and i realize it's the indian woman off eastenders(i don't watch tv and havent watched eastenders for over 2 years since i gave up the t.v) she is also a bit fat and frumpy

she then started to ride me and i woke up.
WHY ??????

[hzt]

I predict this thread will attract long posts that no one will read. Like this.

I used to have very boring dreams, including for some reason fairly frequent ones where I was a traffic warden going about my normal and uninteresting day, but since the end of last year I often have extremely vivid and quite strange ones. I started writing them down but that made my dreams more vivid and strange to the point it was really affecting my sleep so I stopped.

I don't have the notebook with me but I remember one from just before I stopped that was shmups inspired: I was watching a battle between two giant body-builder type guys who were firing conical towers of brightly coloured lego bricks out of their mouths. It was caused by some combination of Cho Aniki and Pink Sweets. Also I had it after getting back to sleep after a dream that involved walking around a big area that was covered in dismembered corpses and body parts and having to pick up vital organs and put them in a bag that never filled up.

One from a couple of days ago involved flying a bicycle/plane contraption I invented over a wide raised road through the middle of a jungle. There was a kind of giant toad that lived there and laid its young by impaling people to onto trees with a stake like tentacled thing it launched out of its mouth, and the young would eat their way out of the person when they hatched from it. I was looking at bodies on trees by the edge of the road and noting their various states of decomposition.

Then I came to a open grassy plain with a building like the Taj Mahal. I landed near the building and went into another, partially underground, building by the edge of the pool in front of the Taj Mahal. I was the only person there and there was some reason I shouldn't have been. It was supposed to be a musuem but somehow it was actually a company trying to show off its products (it made sense in the dream) and I was confronting a guide about working for an evil mega-corporation and lying to me, and trying to get her to admit what was really going on. Then something happened that I know was really disturbing but I've forgotten now.

[RNGmaster]

I predict this thread will attract long posts that no one will read. Like this.

Oh crap, it's inevitable that this will become a kusothread.

Carry on.

[null1024]

This morning, I dreamt I had accidentally fused all of the pots I have together after accidentally leaving the stove on, and my parents were yelling at me, and I was just wondering how the hell I managed to do it, and blamed it [successfully somehow] on someone else.
Also, apparently it was the future. Like, I was playing some Nintendo system that came after the 3DS before I was yelled at.

Also, one of the best dreams I had was when I was in some kind of strange version of my home town, where there were these giant buildings that looked somewhat Gothic and/or steampunk and/or 50s-diner inspired. Also, I drove under a plane that was landing on a bridge going towards some shiny city. Woke up after that, and I dunno why it seemed so cool. It just did.

EDIT: goddamnit, I am jealous of some of your dreams

[NTSC-J]

I predict this thread will attract long posts that no one will read.

This.

Dreams are fascinating to me in that they can be so bizarre and feel so real, yet hearing about someone else`s dreams is probably the most boring thing in the world.

[KennyMan666]

Here's... here's one. It took place when I had went back to sleep after my alarm had finished snoozing.

It started, or rather, the earliest point I can remember, is sitting in a car with my family, I'm not driving, in rainy weather. The implication is that we're on the way back from the place I was last weekend, which my family definitely wasn't part of, as it's a summer house belonging to the father of one of my friends and it was a weekend getaway with friends we had done. So, it's raining, the road is apparently super slippery, because cars are sliding off the road. At least three (I believe nearly identical) smart/microcars go off the road, and then a larger car (though still only a standard-sized car) goes off the road so badly it flips over. My mother is a doctor, and so we drive up to a parking lot and start going down to help. I arrive first, the car is now significantly larger, and some of the people who were IN the car - most of whom had now made it out - turned out to be friends of mine, some of which had been with us on the weekend. One of them had not, and the other two had been going back in separate cars when we left, so that was "huh". Well, we help, and cut to a room where some of these friends, my mother and I am. On the wall is some kind of "scoreboard", with names of people, and squares to write numbers in. And here's where the dream starts dropping all pretense of coherence. My nickname (just Kenny) is on said scoreboard, amongst several other names, and has points written out. As it "turns out", the place we're in is the preschool I went to, stuff like this scoreboard virtually untouched for nearly 20 years. I didn't have my nickname back then. My mother says something, and I grab the pen that's attached with a string, and award points to myself for helping with the car accident thing. Lower on the wall, attached with drawing pins, is a smaller scoreboard, with what seems to be drawings made by me, with the title "Droid-break", also supposed to be something I made back when I was in said preschool. The building as it appeared in the dream was a fusion of that building and at least two other buildings I've been in, one of which being an old friend's house. Then, there's a larger room, and on one of the walls, a big wall, is something else made by me, and I'm not entirely sure how to explain this one. It's a series of numbered pieces taped to the wall, consisting of a plastic sleeve containing a card, most of them Magic cards, some of them appearing to be custom Magic cards. Most of them are on the wall, but the series continues on a table, with what appears to be McDonald's or Burger King takeaway bags as the container. I remember one of the early cards, perhaps even number 1, was called "All the stupid people", and another early one (possibly number 3) was "Seduction of the Innocent". There were two cards labeled number 4, and I later "figured out" that one, which was called something along the lines of "The elevator" was the original one, and was still in the sleeve behind the one that had "replaced" it. Some later cards also had identical numbers, two or three of which were basic land cards from the Unglued set, put behind some other card. Some of the cards were of the "new" card design, the redesign having happened long after I got out of preschool. Another card wasn't a Magic card at all, but appeared to be a spell card from the board game Hero Quest, but a card that doesn't exist in the actual game. And speaking of Hero Quest, higher up on the wall was larger plastic sleeves, not part of the same... "installation", one of which contained the Hero Quest mission book (I DO carry that thing around in a larger plastic sleeve in real life, together with a bunch of other stuff, so there's that). I had removed the cards from their sleeves, looked at them a bit, and then started putting them back in order. The sleeves also contained folders from a toy series I frequently played with when I was younger. At some point, I stated that I "remembered" having made these things. There were other people in the building too. It was around this point I somehow left, and I found myself at "home" - it wasn't my apartment, and I don't know what it was. But I was there, making food, containing rice and chicken among other things. I was done with it, put it in the bowl I usually eat from, and then for some reason put some of it on a plate. At this point, I for some reason decided to go BACK to the other place, and there I went, back to the wall with all the cards and stuff. It was now late, and the room was dark, and there were people sleeping in some rooms. I was quiet as to not disturb them. Not sure what I was intending to do with the cards, but suddenly some little mascot... doll... thing appeared, it wasn't scary but it startled me and so I screamed a little. Someone woke up, and I went back out again. It was now light-ish outside, or rather, dawning. I started walking "home", the road being the one between my friend's place and my parents' place back where they live. Suddenly my sister approached me, asked something, and my reply was that I had been at the preschool, however, the name I gave for it was really the name of the place my parents' live (I have forgotten what my preschool was actually named), but she still knew. We got back to an apartment building, it wasn't my parents' place, it wasn't my sister's place (in real life), but it still seemed that it was where my sister lived. There was a door and an elevator, and at this point, I had begun randomly hovering in place. My sister unlocked some door, and we entered an elevator, going up. Room was entered, and it was the place I had been in earlier, making food. It was now 04:30 at night, and my food was STILL WARM, and I started eating. My brother was now sitting at the table with his laptop too, asked me a weird question, and I beleive his girlfriend was present too. The fact that the food was still warm was actually my first clue that it was a dream, but strangely, this revelation DIDN'T immediately wake me up, which it normally does. It wasn't far away, though, as the dream didn't get any further than that. I woke up.

This one definitely goes in the top ten of fucked up dreams I have had (and could remember after waking up).

[Jockel]

"Listening to people's dreams ... is like flipping through a stack of photographs; if I'm not in any of them and nobody is having sex, I just don't care."

[Acid King]

"Listening to people's dreams ... is like flipping through a stack of photographs; if I'm not in any of them and nobody is having sex, I just don't care."

That's the quote I was trying to remember.

[PC Engine Fan X!]

Yesterday night I had one where I was at the arcade and I saw a 2-player pinball machine, with a set of flippers on each end of the table. You could play it either co-op or versus, wonder if something like that ever existed.

Yep, Williams made a two-player head-to-head Joust pinball machine where you could play against another player or just play by yourself and lock-up the other side's playing field. I used to play it at a local Modesto, CA based arcade hangout back in 1987-1988. The rarely seen Joust pin has made an appearance at a past California Extreme show as I got to try it out a few times.

When I was in high school, I had this really strange dream that's presented in it's entirety:

I find myself inside a classroom filled with proper and prim students dressed in matching colored uniforms/dresses & are intently listening to a teacher give a lesson. She calls upon me to get up and proceed to this strange looking board filled with peg holes in front of the class. Upon looking at some of the seated students, some of the gals are quite stacked. Apparently, I'm supposed to place some pegs into the holes in the shortest time possible as a timer ticks down, As I'm doing this, I realize that I'm not going to be able to finish this manual dexderity exercise in time as the teacher tells me that I'm running out of time. The matronly teacher tells me that I've run out of time while the classroom enviroment slowly dissolves into a mountain range with me being placed on a narrow cliff and having to carefully traverse it until I get to more solid ground to walk normally. As I keep on walking on solid ground, I notice that the mountain eventually gives way to a hillside. Upon reaching the top of the hillside, in the far distance, I can see a shopping center mall.

I continue walking towards the mall as it gets bigger & bigger in appearance perspective-wise. Upon reaching the front entrance and proceeding inside, some of the store fronts have a weird aestethic about them. After walking a bit more inside, my eyes spot an arcade. Going inside this arcade are some very cool arcade games that have never seen the light of day in a real world arcade. I was playing them thinking that it'd be cool to play them in real life with their cool gameplay/game mechanics/graphics when I finally opened my eyes and the dream/unusual arcade vanished. Haven't forgotten about it since then or what it means though.

PC Engine Fan X! ^_~

[Daigohji]

After a few years working at a psychiatric hospital, I find that my unconscious has become rather confused. When the days are filled with people shouting incomprehensible nonsense at me, doing cartwheels in front of me, strangers phoning up just to scream insults at me, there are riot police turning up, and people waving iron bars or petrol cans around, my dreams can seem pretty mundane.

I had one dream a year ago where I visited the local video rental place and found that half of it had been converted into a supermarket selling, among other things, videogames that weren't due out for another couple of years. I was a little surprised, but the owner of that shop is a resourceful businessman, so I just chalked it up as another of his ventures. On the way home, I stopped and questioned whether this was real or a dream. I concluded that it was real, as there was nothing particularly strange going on, the layout of the town seemed correct, etc. Suffice to say, when I woke up I was worried by my inability to identify that as a dream.

Also suffice to say, I'm glad I finally found another job.

[RNGmaster]

I just had a dream I was on a bus to North Korea, and there was some sort of security officer trying to find concealed weapons. I managed to get past him without being killed, and made my way to the back of the bus. I dozed off for a while, but was jolted awake when we stopped at a prison to cart off another passenger. I immediately got the hell off the bus with armed agents on my trail, and held them off by swimming through a river and stealing through a slum. After a few hours of walking, I made my way to Panmunjeom, and was about to cross to South Korea when suddenly the Decoration Core from Gokujou Parodius popped out, killed me, and sent me back to the start of the dream.

Strange.

[Specineff]

Today I napped at work during my break.

And dreamed that one of the characters of the new MLP FIM series (Rarity) was trying to sell off her own sister and her sister's friends as slaves. The yellow pegasus then showed up and tried to dissuade her from doing so.

I forced myself to wake up. I was all like "Dude, no. Just. NO."

[KennyMan666]

suddenly the Decoration Core from Gokujou Parodius popped out, killed me, and sent me back to the start of the dream.

You know you've been playing Konami shmups too much when even your dreams have checkpoints.

[antron]

great timing, last night:

older woman invites me into her apartment,
gets me to suck on her titties,
next thing I'm doing her doggie,
I spy her anus and decide to finish in there,
she objects and pulls away,
too late! I blow all over her head.
she's mad and I run out.

next day she see me but is no longer mad.
has a look in her eye like she wants some more.

[louisg]

Antron, that could be cross-posted in the poetry thread!

[antron]

Antron, that could be cross-posted in the poetry thread!

thanks, but I'm currently the latest post there with something else!
http://shmups.system11.org/viewtopic.ph ... 84#p714684

[BryanM]

* Last night I dreamed a grizzly bear and a minotaur were fighting outside my window. They were big and scary. There were suplexes involved. Also a gigantic truck in the yard hitched to a tank full of food - I've forgotten which kind.

* Long ago I dreamed I went inside the frilly store at the mall and Martha Stewart was there. And she just kept talking and talking. She would not stop talking. Eventually I realized it was a dream and decided to molest Martha Stewart with a boob grab, so I wouldn't have suffered for nothing. Of course, seconds later I woke up. To discover I left the TV on, and Martha Stewart was on the TV. I swore, turned off the tv, and went back to sleep.

* One time I was in a large spaceship, and a golden alien ship or something flew out. My ex was lowered out of it, and she was in a coma! This dream brought me feelings of peace. And stands out for me as an example of how sleep reformats your brain, to better cope with dealing with the circumstances you're in.

[Reutan]

And dreamed that one of the characters of the new MLP FIM series (Rarity) was trying to sell off her own sister and her sister's friends as slaves. The yellow pegasus then showed up and tried to dissuade her from doing so.

Sell the Cutie Mark Crusaders...be rid of them ForEVer...

When I was reaaallly young... I had a dream where I was playing (with my mind? Ionno, there was nothing going on except the game itself) Maui Mallard in Cold Shadow, the very first level. Back then, the butler with the dish of /something/ that bites at you really freaked me out, and every time it bit at me, I tried to wake up... at which point the dream reset like an NES, and went right back through. And it did this at least 3-5 times before I woke up or went to normal sleep. Yikes.

[Specineff]

Not farked-up, but interesting:

I dreamed Squeenix released a new version of FF13, which fans had subtitled the "We're really sorry for the crappy original battle system but we made it good now, please forgive us." Edition.

And boy was it good: While you could still set it up to play like the old one (Auto-commands and stuff), you could go for something close to Grandia: As soon as your character's ATB bar filled, all action would pause and you'd enter your command, to be executed on the spot. Same for your companions. You could also watch the action an enemy would execute upon their ATB bars filling, allowing you to plan accordingly.

And then I woke up. Dammit, Square and your Hold-X-To-win game design.

[Siren2011]

And then I woke up. Dammit, Square and your Hold-X-To-win game design.

I'm getting off topic here, but 99% of the time, that design philosophy repulses me.

However, I'm playing FFVII right now and the game is pathetically easy; virtually no skill is involved at all.

And yet, acknowledging all of the above, I can't stop playing it. I just don't understand. Chrono Trigger is basically the same shit in a different skin, yet I couldn't get 10 minutes into the game without being miserably bored. I don't know whether to be ashamed of liking an RPG or not --nor do I know why I like it. A good story, great music and spectacular visuals are not enough to keep me immersed in a game, but with Final Fantasy 7, I actually tolerate (and dare I say, enjoy) the mundane combat...

What the hell is wrong with me?