Roast a formulaic TV show.

EddyMRA · Post by **EddyMRA** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 11:01 am

Typical Family Guy episode:

*Peter Griffin is either intelligent as a MENSA member or as dumb as a rock.
*Cue random joke #1.
*Quagmire gets horny.
*Cue random joke #2.
*Stewie complains, devises a plot to kill Lois, or undermines Brian.
*Cue random joke #3.
*Insert obligatory commentary about politics.
*Brian acts as a voice of reason in a hopeless situation.
*Cue random joke #4.
*Chris gets a small subplot or is stalked by that creepy elderly pedophile, Herbert.
*Meg becomes the butt monkey again.
*Insert obligatory offensive comment or reference about a specific person, place, race, political view, religion, or pop-culture item. Usually set to a musical number.
*Cue random joke #5.
*Shameless sudden unexplained cameo of a celebrity, usually depicted in a demeaning manner (Cookie Monster and his drug-like addiction to cookies...he tried to FREEBASE cookie dough) or killed on the spot.
*Peter somehow gets naked.
*Lois is either reasonable or gets suckered into some scheme.
*Insert crude sex joke or fart joke.
*Cue random joke #6.

A typical Phineas and Ferb episode (Yes. I watch Disney Channel. Sue me.):

Phineas: "Ferb! I know what we're gonna do today!"
Perry the Platypus: (chatters)
(Phineas and Ferb (P&F) initiate "Subplot A")
Candace: "Mom! P&F are [Subplot A]!"
Mom: "Screw you! You are trying to get the boys in trouble again!"
Phineas: "Hey! Where's Perry?"

(Cue cheesy spy tune)
Major Monogram: "Agent P! Doofenschmirtz is [Subplot B]! You must stop him!"
*DOOFENSCHMIRTZ EVIL INCORPORATEEEEEED!!!!*
Doofenschmirtz: "AHAHAHA! Behold! The [Gimmick]-inator!"

(Back to P&F, who are underway with Subplot A)
Isabella: "Whatcha dooooooooooin'?!"
Phineas: "Hi Isabella! We're [Subplot A]!"
Random adult: "Aren't you boys too young to be [Subplot A]?"
Phineas: "Yes! Yes, we are!"
Random adult: "Nothing unusual here. Carry on!"
Candace: "Mom! Mom! Look! I told you P&F are [Subplot A]! Look! Hurry!"
Mom: "Sure Candace. Let me take my sweet time getting there. Oh, wait. I have to do something because whatever you want to show me is CONVENIENTLY obscured when I get there!"
Candace: "Argh!" (Jeremy randomly appears) "Oooohhhhhhh Jeremy!!!!"

(Perry and Subplot B somehow intertwine with P&F's Subplot A at around the time Perry is about to defeat Doofenschmirtz by either 1) direct fist fight or 2) the [Gimmick]-inator fails miserably or is used against Doofenschmirtz.)
Doofenschmirtz: "CURSE YOU, PERRY THE PLATYPUS!!!!"
(Doofenschmirtz, upon being defeated by Perry, often destroys, whisks away, or otherwise renders P&F's Subplot A conveniently nonexistent when Mom finally gets within view of P&F.)
Phineas: "Oh, there you are, Perry!"
Perry: (chatters)

D · Post by D » Wed Feb 04, 2009 12:55 pm

I hate Family Guy so much. They tried to cross the Simpsons with South Park or something like that. I hate all the characters and I hate all the plots. The only funny thing is that the dog can actually talk.
There also was this cartoon once about undercover dogs or something that always saved the planet. They'd say: "we're only human!"
funny!

Udderdude · Post by **Udderdude** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 1:14 pm

TV shows have gotten so bad that you can't even parody them anymore. They are practically parodies of themselves.

Kiken · Post by **Kiken** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 3:38 pm

D wrote:There also was this cartoon once about undercover dogs or something that always saved the planet. They'd say: "we're only human!"
funny!

Road Rovers?

D · Post by D » Wed Feb 04, 2009 3:53 pm

Kiken wrote:
D wrote:There also was this cartoon once about undercover dogs or something that always saved the planet. They'd say: "we're only human!"
funny!
Road Rovers?

I think it was regular housedogs who live their lives as pets and have a secret doublelife and are part of a secret organisation to save the world from ...... evil like evil cats, etc.
I can't remember too well.

Anyway, that show sucked anyway, but that line was funny.
No, not road rovers, although you are on the right track. I think your next guess will hit the jackpot.

MadScientist · Post by **MadScientist** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 4:08 pm

Udderdude wrote:TV shows have gotten so bad that you can't even parody them anymore. They are practically parodies of themselves.

CSI Miami is probably the worst offender.

Dead body, lame Caruso quip (takes off sunglasses), Caruso talks patronisingly to someone without looking at them (puts on sunglasses), blonde chick fondles some guns, ME talks to dead body, Caruso gets self-righteous (takes off sunglasses) etc... etc...

Ed Oscuro · Post by **Ed Oscuro** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 6:54 pm

*car explodes and Caruso takes of his sunglasses*

Let's do Star Trek: Random Season Mashup (non-holodeck episode variety)!

Somebody goes to Ten-Forward and has a cryptic conversation with Guinan
Suddenly, LaForge is talking to illusions or Wes is fucking the ship up
*Obligatory away scene mission with random phaserings and Picard finding an ancient dead spaceman*
Another world saved!
Speech and Picard plays a flute. THE END

I tried to do Voyager or Enterprise but I can feel my strength draining out of me when I try to start... :(

Power Rangers (as I remember it - didn't watch very much of it when it was out)

Another Happy day at (whatever the high school was called!)
OH NO! Giant sized man in suit scene filmed through grainy camera + fisheye lens (or something)
Bulk and Skull try something stupid
Oh no! We need to fight!
(I can't remember what happens next but it involves random clips from some Super Sentai Dinoranger or something, and at some point Bulk and Skull end up in a dumpster covered with spaghetti sauce)
Red Ranger is Gay! Oh wait, it's a hoax!! The end!

Random fact: 668 episodes have been produced of the Power Rangers franchise.

PC Engine Fan X! · Post by **PC Engine Fan X!** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 7:53 pm

Same could be said about the new Knight Rider series. But it's really all about Kitt and it's further adventures in the 21st century. Sure, there's the obiligatory T&A scenes, sexy banter between the sexes, and let's not forget, the usual high-speed car chases. ^_~

PC Engine Fan X! ^_~

handsome_rakshas · Post by **handsome_rakshas** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 8:03 pm

I'm going to have to go with House on this one. Mysterious medical problem, smart ass remark, offbeat diagnosis, smart ass remark, miraculous treatment, smart ass remark, maybe a lesson learned in between? No, not really.

Specineff · Post by **Specineff** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 9:00 pm

D wrote:
Kiken wrote:
D wrote:There also was this cartoon once about undercover dogs or something that always saved the planet. They'd say: "we're only human!"
funny!
Road Rovers?
I think it was regular housedogs who live their lives as pets and have a secret doublelife and are part of a secret organisation to save the world from ...... evil like evil cats, etc.
I can't remember too well. Anyway, that show sucked anyway, but that line was funny.
No, not road rovers, although you are on the right track. I think your next guess will hit the jackpot.

Wasn't that a movie called Cats and Dogs?

Jon · Post by **Jon** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 9:14 pm

handsome_rakshas wrote:I'm going to have to go with House on this one. Mysterious medical problem, smart ass remark, offbeat diagnosis, smart ass remark, miraculous treatment, smart ass remark, maybe a lesson learned in between? No, not really.

I still watch it regularly but the show is getting stale.

Vexorg · Post by **Vexorg** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 10:24 pm

The average Dragon Ball Z episode, in a nutshell:

PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THE ULTIMATE BATTLE!
Miscellaneous trash talk between the two combatants
Bulma freaks out for some silly reason
Someone charges up their ultimate super attack
Someone stares at the dragon ball radar trying to find the next one
The ultimate attack is unleashed, obliterating the opponent...
...But not really. In fact, it did basically no damage at all.
More miscellaneous trash talk...
Next time on Dragon Ball Z... PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THE ULTIMATE BATTLE... THIS TIME WE MEAN IT!!

Oh yeah, and every once in a while someone's hair will mysteriously get even spikier than usual, just to keep things interesting.

Davey · Post by **Davey** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 10:32 pm

handsome_rakshas wrote:I'm going to have to go with House on this one. Mysterious medical problem, smart ass remark, offbeat diagnosis, smart ass remark, miraculous treatment, smart ass remark, maybe a lesson learned in between? No, not really.

In between "smart ass remark" and "miraculous treatment" is "completely unrelated conversation or observation that leads to House's epiphany". Important step!

I still like the show, though. Family Guy too, even though more and more people hate on it as time goes by.

Frederik · Post by **Frederik** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 12:08 am

D wrote:I hate Family Guy so much. They tried to cross the Simpsons with South Park or something like that. I hate all the characters and I hate all the plots. The only funny thing is that the dog can actually talk.

I once saw a bit where this fat guy fell on his knee and said "Ouch!" for a whole minute.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEtGzqbZajs

That, right there, told me everything I needed to know about this series. I cringe at the thought that somebody actually might find this find funny. Same with "hip internet meme" stuff like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVr8GEn5yJA

Hyper facepalm.

Acid King · Post by **Acid King** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 12:10 am

I like Family Guy too. I don't know why people say it's a clone of the Simpsons or as D said a combination between the Simpsons and South Park. The structure, humor and writing are all completely different but because it has a fat, stupid guy as the lead it's a clone of the Simpsons and because it has vulgar, offensive jokes it's a clone of South Park. Speaking of the Simpsons, there's a show that's really starting to become a creature of formula. I don't know how many episodes they've had where Homer gets a new job.

Also, another one that is totally formulaic but I love regardless is Law and Order. Criminal Intent blows but I like SVU and the regular Law and Order.

Ceph · Post by **Ceph** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 1:19 am

I really liked Family Guy before it was uncancelled. Now it's just embarrassingly awful. The Family Guy episodes before the cancellation (season 1-3) were on a completely different level; they had wit. Since season 4 it's like a different show that just happens to feature identical designs and voice actors.

EddyMRA · Post by **EddyMRA** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 4:17 am

A typical Home Improvement episode:
*Tim Taylor does something offensive to Jill (chauvinist pigheadedness) or Al (picks on his beard, his flannel sweater, or his mother).
*Tim's target of his pigheadedness gets offended, and Tim does not know why.
*The kids have some plotline to satisfy their screentime.
*Tim's boorish behavior eventually makes him feel guilty.
*Here comes Wilson, with his mouth "cleverly" concealed in some manner, giving deep introspective advice to Tim.
*Tim then mangles what Wilson told him when he repeats it.
*Somehow Jill/Al forgives Tim after the botched Wilson anecdote.
*Everyone's one big happy family again...until the next episode.

BrianC · Post by **BrianC** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 6:59 am

Rears ray real roast. Ruby Roo!

*Scooby and the gang go somewhere in the Mystery Machine
*Characters joke around
*Wrong turn is made and gang ends up at spooky looking place
*Gang finds mystery at said place and stays there to try and solve or, or somehow gets stuck at said place
*Said place is haunted by a "monster" or "ghost"
*Velma says "Jinkies"
*Freddie tells the group to split up, Shaggy and Scooby look for food, and the other guys search the area, Shaggy always ends up with Scooby and Freddie most often ends up with Daphne
*Velma loses glasses
*Shaggy says "Zoinks!"
*Shaggy and Scooby fool around and end up bumping in to the "ghost" or monster"
*Shaggy and Scooby tell gang about running into the "monster" or "ghost" and they don't believe him.
*The rest of the gang runs into the "monster" or "ghost" and chase music plays
*Freddie has a talk with everyone and plans a trap for the monster, usually with Shaggy and Scooby as bait. Scooby gets offered a Scooby Snack, usually by Daphne or Velma
*Shaggy and Scooby help get the "monster" or "ghost" to the trap, but either bungle something up or the trap somehow fails
*"monster" or "ghost" gets caught anyway
*police arrive and "monster" or "ghost" turns out to be guy or lady in mask and gets unmasked
*unmasked guy or lady says "I could have done it if it wasn't for those pesky kids!"
*gang celebrates afterwards
*Everyone laughs or Scooby says "Scooby Dooby Doo!"

BryanM · Post by **BryanM** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 7:19 am

LeVar Burton can teach children to read, but he can't teach a robot how to love.

I find that profoundly sad for some reason.

RGC · Post by **RGC** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 9:01 am

D · Post by D » Thu Feb 05, 2009 10:09 am

This is a great thread and I'm sorry to dis Family Guy. It's just me.
Lol @ all the break downs. A site could be made with all shows like this! Wouldn't that be funny?

MX7 · Post by **MX7** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 11:44 am

Family guy sucked for the first few series. It was pretty much a Simpsons clone back then, and the writing was particularly sparse. From about series 3 onwards it's been getting better and better. I'm glad they've completely changed stewie's character: he was particularly unfunny when going through his 'evil genius' phase.

Elixir · Post by **Elixir** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 12:15 pm

I think you missed a piece out of your Family Guy timeline:

- Random flashback to when some (humourous) stuff (never) happened

Every single episode.

EddyMRA · Post by **EddyMRA** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 2:25 pm

Elixir wrote:I think you missed a piece out of your Family Guy timeline:

- Random flashback to when some (humourous) stuff (never) happened

Every single episode.

I pretty much grouped that into the "Cue Random joke #xx" events.

Vexorg wrote:The average Dragon Ball Z episode, in a nutshell:

PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THE ULTIMATE BATTLE!
Miscellaneous trash talk between the two combatants
Bulma freaks out for some silly reason
Someone charges up their ultimate super attack
Someone stares at the dragon ball radar trying to find the next one
The ultimate attack is unleashed, obliterating the opponent...
...But not really. In fact, it did basically no damage at all.
More miscellaneous trash talk...
Next time on Dragon Ball Z... PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THE ULTIMATE BATTLE... THIS TIME WE MEAN IT!!

Oh yeah, and every once in a while someone's hair will mysteriously get even spikier than usual, just to keep things interesting.

To expand on this, here's a typical DBZ saga:

*The saga big bad appears.
*Where's Goku? Oh, right. He's either A.) recovering from some injury he sustained during the fight with the LAST saga's big bad or B.) he died during his fight with the laast saga's big bad or just before the current saga's big bad appears, and his friends have to find the Dragon Balls to resurrect him, or C.) he is training in some faraway location to learn a new technique that should give him an upper hand, but just ends up matching even with the big bad for a majority of a saga.
*Big bad is extremely smug and overconfident, toying with any character not a Saiyajin.
*Goku arrives at the last moment finally, when more than 75% of his friends are either dead or gravely injured.
*Goku and the big bad spend a majority of an episode, or even a span of several episodes, staring down each other and engaging in stalemate fights.
*Big bad fires a massive attack on Goku. Goku is consumed by a giant smoke cloud. After the cloud clears away in about 5 minutes, Goku emerges unscathed. Big bad looks on with sheer horror.
*Goku spends up to two episodes (see: Freeza Saga) powering up his Spriit Bomb attack, which fails anyway.
*Goku gets the upper hand against the big bad to a point where he could finish him/her/it off with a final blow. This fails because of A.) Goku is so disoriented from his injuries that his attack misses or B.) Goku's horrendously fatal personality flaw (his overly trusting demeanor) causes him to show mercy on the big bad (who killed millions of innocent people and 80% of his friends), allowing the big bad to strike back.
*Goku keeps powering up in small stages until he wins.
*Happy happy joy joy...Dragon Balls revive every major character who died...party time...until an even stronger big bad emerges from under the rocks.
*Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

SFKhoa · Post by **SFKhoa** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 5:21 pm

How many DBZ characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
1 but it takes 3 episodes.

jonny5 · Post by **jonny5** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 5:39 pm

SFKhoa wrote:How many DBZ characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
1 but it takes 3 episodes.

lolz....so very true

kozo · Post by **kozo** » Fri Feb 06, 2009 9:34 am

Pixar Movies (spoilers?):

1. Things are so happy
(McQueen is the hot rookie, Toys are happy, Incredible family is good, Nemo is good, etc.)

2. Main character gets lost, estranged or otherwise separated
(McQueen gets lost, Woody gets jealous, Incredible dad goes off to island, Nemo gets lost, etc.)

3. MC's whereabouts and intentions are assumed to be bad
(McQueen is assumed to have dropped out, Woody is teh evil toy, Incredible dad assumed to be cheating, Nemo assumed to be dead, etc.)

4. Rude misunderstandings ensue, teaching children bad examples of patience
(McQueen's small-town captors don't listen to him or understand his plight, damn toys don't believe Woody, Incredible dad is confronted, Nemo's dad is whiny)

5. Everyone meets back up and life is so happy again and all the jerky things people did to each other are brushed under the rug
(McQueen gets back into the race and wins thanks to the help of his asshole captors, Woody comes back to the fold after a showdown with bratty child and all is forgiven even though had they just listened to him nothing would have happened therefore cancelling out the entire paper-thin plot, Incredible family meets up and uses supra-powarz to defeat evil once more, Nemo meets up with daddy.)

This can be applied to almost every Pixar movie to some degree. I am so sick of hearing how wonderful and heartwarming Pixar movies are. They're all the same movie, and not a great one at that. I hate the values they teach kids, to boot: give long-time friends the finger after one small misunderstanding, then when you are proven wrong, act like everything's ok and it never happened. Ad nasuem.

Also, I love Suikoden, but:

Suikoden series
- Hero is having major exciting event happen, such as a promotion or family marriage
- Hero is cast down from his then-highest point of his life into the deepest abyss of doom+despair by a greedy corrupt politician, such as blamed for murder or treason, or assumed dead
- Hero begins to pick up the pieces one by one, gaining close friends and/or Lyon.

- Hero slowly gains momentum through his sparkly eyes that nobody can say no to, gets a diabolical/drunk/asleep tactitian (preferrably a lesbian or Silverburg) who stages a major victory
- Opposing side of the war takes hero seriously
- Rune LEVEL UP get
- Tide of war is more in your favor
- Someone dies before major battle
- Moonlight Night theme song plays, you talk to people when you should sleep instead
- Major battle
- Person comes back to life thanks to power of 108 people joined together
- Hero either runs off alone, with a guy, or with Lyon.

- Fates of rest of 108 characters play out over pretty music
- Bonus scene/pic/flashback/omen post-credits

Never gets old, either!

What does get me is the generic RPG syndrome:

- Young hero (under 17 years) lives in small quaint village
- Village holds a hidden power stupid teen doesn't know about
- Young hero is the only one who can avenge the village which was slain while he was picking flowers
- Young hero has hidden deep power within
- Anyone over twenty years old is a fogie
- Lame enemy is defeated, hero ignores love interest, picks nose, credits.

Ruldra · Post by **Ruldra** » Fri Feb 06, 2009 4:01 pm

Originally posted by doodude in another thread:

Q: How many members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Seven - Scotty will report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in the Engineering Section is burnt out, to which Kirk will send Bones to pronounce the bulb dead. Scotty, after checking around, notices that they have no more new light bulbs, and complains that he can't see in the dark to tend to his engines. Kirk must make an emergency stop at the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb from the natives. Kirk, Spock, Bones, Sulu, and 3 red shirt security officers beam down. The 3 security officers are promptly killed by the natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured. Meanwhile, back in orbit, Scotty notices a Klingon ship approaching and must warp out of orbit to escape detection. Bones cures the native king who is suffering from the flu, and as a reward the landing party is set free and given all the light bulbs they can carry. Scotty cripples the Klingon ship and warps back to the planet just in time to beam up Kirk et al. The new bulb is inserted, and the Enterprise continues with its five year mission.

JUX.Jaggsen · Post by **JUX.Jaggsen** » Fri Feb 06, 2009 5:27 pm

Ruldra wrote:Originally posted by doodude in another thread:

Q: How many members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Seven - Scotty will report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in the Engineering Section is burnt out, to which Kirk will send Bones to pronounce the bulb dead. Scotty, after checking around, notices that they have no more new light bulbs, and complains that he can't see in the dark to tend to his engines. Kirk must make an emergency stop at the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb from the natives. Kirk, Spock, Bones, Sulu, and 3 red shirt security officers beam down. The 3 security officers are promptly killed by the natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured. Meanwhile, back in orbit, Scotty notices a Klingon ship approaching and must warp out of orbit to escape detection. Bones cures the native king who is suffering from the flu, and as a reward the landing party is set free and given all the light bulbs they can carry. Scotty cripples the Klingon ship and warps back to the planet just in time to beam up Kirk et al. The new bulb is inserted, and the Enterprise continues with its five year mission.

FAIL! Checkov has the bridge then not Scotty, how will find the fat engineer out of his section in the dark; also The Expendables in Red had to be killed 'cause Kirk was fondling around with a sex slave from AR IV and the natives didn't like that or somesuch... fail, etc.

PC Engine Fan X! · Post by **PC Engine Fan X!** » Sat Feb 07, 2009 3:52 pm

JUX.Jaggsen wrote:
Ruldra wrote:Originally posted by doodude in another thread:

Q: How many members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Seven - Scotty will report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in the Engineering Section is burnt out, to which Kirk will send Bones to pronounce the bulb dead. Scotty, after checking around, notices that they have no more new light bulbs, and complains that he can't see in the dark to tend to his engines. Kirk must make an emergency stop at the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb from the natives. Kirk, Spock, Bones, Sulu, and 3 red shirt security officers beam down. The 3 security officers are promptly killed by the natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured. Meanwhile, back in orbit, Scotty notices a Klingon ship approaching and must warp out of orbit to escape detection. Bones cures the native king who is suffering from the flu, and as a reward the landing party is set free and given all the light bulbs they can carry. Scotty cripples the Klingon ship and warps back to the planet just in time to beam up Kirk et al. The new bulb is inserted, and the Enterprise continues with its five year mission.
FAIL! Checkov has the bridge then not Scotty, how will find the fat engineer out of his section in the dark; also The Expendables in Red had to be killed 'cause Kirk was fondling around with a sex slave from AR IV and the natives didn't like that or somesuch... fail, etc.

Yep, Capt. Kirk had a thing for hot looking ladies, didn't he? ^_~

Have you checked out that cool new Star Trek movie preview trailer yet?

PC Engine Fan X! ^_~