The Answer - Aviator Sunglasses

Pixel_Outlaw · Post by **Pixel_Outlaw** » Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:23 pm

Good day gentleman.

There have been many conversations regarding the use and care of sunglasses. Sunglasses provide protection from the Sun's damaging rays and light. It is important that one protects his vision! There are many styles to choose from and finding ones you like can become stressful. Many experts in the field claim that there are a few timeless styles but one must ensure that they are comfortable and safe for their use. I employ sunglasses every day to ensure my status as an alpha male.

Let us discuss the holy grail of sunglasses- aviator sunglasses

These sunglasses provide superb frontal protection. They were originally designed for pilots who needed maximum frontal protection and glair control. They will automatically add the suffix "ass" to your title. You will either gain the title "jackass" or "badass" depending on how you carry yourself whilst wearing them. If you move as a peeping mole in the burrows and hollows while wearing them you will gain the first title. However, if you move like a calm man about town whilst wearing them you will accrue popularity points. The ladies will love you and the men will want to be you. Some women can also wear these superb glasses as long as they are not the aviators of a nearsighted elderly gentleman.

Putting together a look

Aviator sunglasses come in many styles and degrees of trendyness. To select a pair for the day you must first collect a few pairs to match your cloths. If one wears something simple like a plain t-shirt they should consider wearing more simple glasses. If a collared shirt or ever suit is work they something like mirrored glasses will compliment the dress. It is best that the sunglasses are equal to the formalness of the attire. It is desirable that the sunglasses do not stand out too much from the clothing. The sunglass must emphasize the wearer not the other way around.

There is no age limit to wearing these glasses. One must first acquire a properly matured head to fit the larger sizes of glass. The adult size measure 5 and 1/2 inches across. Being that you are a true aviatorsman you will not need to concern yourself with trivial metric conversions, that would be rather pocketcalculatorish and nerdish. Once the head has matured then fitting may begin. It is important to fit your glasses at the rack before purchasing. I've seen many men with rather mature head sizes and smallish circular dots of sunglasses in the middle due to lack of dynamic head fitting (DHF or fitting at the rack). It is important to try on said glasses and ward off any onlookers by glaring in their general direction should they look at you while trying them on.

At the display: The DHF technique.

Now that you are at the sunglasses rack how should you maintain your presence?
It first begins with bringing the glasses to the face. DO NOT move your head into the sunglasses bur rather bring the new pair to your face. Holding the glasses and moving your head into them is considered bad form. You will instantly gain the title jackass.

The glasses are now on but how do you approach the mirror for inspection?
One must look down and side-to-side rather than looking up and side-to-side. Looking up instead of down makes you look like a clueless mole, once again the jackass title is obtained this way. The man about town looks down then side-to-side.

Peer Distraction While Talking (PDWT)

Being that you now have a fitted pair of aviators your peers will be a little intimidated or shy while talking to you. This will pass but it is important that you handle PDWT correctly. Don't be shy about your new look, instead look at them directly while talking and be friendly and in control. Soon all of your co-workers and friends will own their own pair. YOU are setting the tone for your look not them. Now that you are a man feel free to join the social clubs.

I hope that you have enjoyed this tutorial and will continue to live the life of an aviatorsman.

sven666 · Post by **sven666** » Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:26 pm

needs more pix.. if you show me yours ill show you mine

Turrican · Post by **Turrican** » Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:32 pm

and links to shops where you buy the bestest of them all

Lordstar · Post by **Lordstar** » Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:35 pm

White glasses for the fucking win!

Pixel_Outlaw · Post by **Pixel_Outlaw** » Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:38 pm

I'm going to run to work to get a few pairs. I'll then prepare a photo of my collection.

, - See even the smily is cool, rocking his aviators.

iatneH · Post by **iatneH** » Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:43 pm

I hate aviators. There's an optical shop on the campus here with a sign that says "Glasses to make you look smarter", and then there's a pic of some chick with those big ugly paparazzi designer sunglasses. I look at that and I think the sign should be changed to "Glasses to make you look like a God damned tool bag".

I know they're not aviators but I feel the same way towards aviators ;)

I also hate those freaking welding masks that are so popular among older Asian women.

Lordstar · Post by **Lordstar** » Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:45 pm

am i doint right rite?

for the record i dont own these, i was drunk and borrowed them of some random guy for photos.

Battlesmurf · Post by **Battlesmurf** » Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:53 pm

and then there's a pic of some chick with those big ugly paparazzi designer sunglasses. I

I don't care either way for men- but it makes women folk look really TRASHY- kinda remind me of a Paris Hilton dealio. Not flattering.

But then again- I prefer that my women folk don't smoke (cigarettes) either- so call me old fashioned?

Pixel_Outlaw · Post by **Pixel_Outlaw** » Mon Jul 07, 2008 10:12 pm

Here is my current collection. Some are just for fun and others I wear daily.

Oh and this is my fav store for purchasing.

They have both standard and colored types.

http://stores.ebay.com/NStyle-Shades_W0 ... idZ2QQtZkm

Post by **Dave_K.** » Tue Jul 08, 2008 7:31 am

Officer Poncherello called, and wants his mirrored aviators back.

BTW: great post.

Pixel_Outlaw · Post by **Pixel_Outlaw** » Tue Jul 08, 2008 7:48 am

Word to the wise,

The colored ones are fun and all but heavily pigmented ones such as red or Blu Blockers WILL block out traffic light visability. The red ones make green traffic lights look as if they never turn on.

The yellow on the other hand are lightly pigmented and you can drive (and hunt) in them.