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GaijinPunch · Post by **GaijinPunch** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 1:23 pm

jpj wrote:
he starts on monday

I was about to say, it didn't end right if you didn't hire him. I guess this is one for all the snooty Brits that say Americans can't speak (or write) English.

neorichieb1971 · Post by **neorichieb1971** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 1:39 pm

Apart from spelling and grammar (which was quite awful) and his ability to deliver far too much information I believe he told the truth.

Basically, your CV is a lie. Even extremely intelligent people put an extra oomph in their CV. If the job in hand doesn't require the greatest of spelling and grammar and your not rushing him, he sounds like a good guy. His 2nd job might be an axe murderer but its not likely he would put that on his CV either.

The picture you've painted of him in person doesn't seem like the person he describes in his CV.

For all your Americans, A CV (Curriculum Vitae/Latin) is your work history or better known to you as a Resume.

doodude · Post by **doodude** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 1:52 pm

Well, seem to me yer jus snooty as a whoor wiff a exter trick ya know?
I dont see nothing wrong wiff the the way this here feller talks none.
I aint shore whut GP is meanin bout Ameracans & the wey they talk an right an all...

By the way, is a CV the same thing as an application for employment?

EDIT:
I just remembered seeing on 'the telly' several follow up stories about people across the globe who've won lotteries & either lost it all or did well for themselves etc.
They came to a story about some guy winning a lottery in England. Dont know the exact location.
What was so strange about the story of the English winner was they actually had to use captions for all but one woman so you could even have a clue what they were saying.
Everyone had that deep, mumbling, cockney ( is that the word? ) way of speaking that was just impossible to understand.
I guess the US version would be a deep rooted coonass...
It was really quite funny.

neorichieb1971 · Post by **neorichieb1971** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 2:28 pm

Accents (we went over this already) in the UK are more diverse than in the USA. Youtube "liverpool accent" or "cockney accent" or "welsh accent" and see if you can see what they are talking about.

jpj · Post by **jpj** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 2:51 pm

neorichieb1971 wrote:His 2nd job might be an axe murderer but its not likely he would put that on his CV either.

i wouldn't put it past him...

"i iz moody an' do stuff me own pace, yeah, an' one time i like put an axe in some1's 'ead, yeah. i iz motivated yeah, but spend my time sat on my ass not doin' nuthin, innit."

i think it's his glasses that fooled me

elfhentaifan · Post by **elfhentaifan** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 3:01 pm

it would be good if it was mine (in english)

CIT · Post by **CIT** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 3:05 pm

So this guy is Vicky Pollard's brother, yeah?

Skykid · Post by **Skykid** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 3:11 pm

I've seen worse, believe me.

it290 · Post by **it290** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 3:21 pm

Not to be a dick (it is quite funny), but is it really a good idea to be posting this on the net? I know I'd be quite upset if I found out that a company I had applied to had shared information that is intended to be for their eyes only.

FIL · Post by **FIL** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 6:43 pm

My CV just says "Durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"

The n00b · Post by **The n00b** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 7:05 pm

As long as he's not trying out for a job in the English dept, I'm not seeing anything wrong with that CV.

I'm also going to challenge the assumption that the UK has a greater variety of accents than the US. Texas alone has 4 different English accents. The whole nation has to have somewhere in the 50's then... I won't even attempt to include the amount of Spanish accents either.

jpj · Post by **jpj** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 7:11 pm

i don't think UK has more different accents, just that it has a huge variety of accents in relation to the size of the country. isn't texas alone bigger than the UK?

he also failed every subject at school

nice kid though. young black guy with dreads that compliments our taste in reggae

i might take it down though, i'm probably breaking the law

edit: yeah, good call.

Daigohji · Post by **Daigohji** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 8:08 pm

I'm pretty sure job applications fall under the Data Protection Act, which would make posting this online illegal. In the public sector I've known people who were fired on the spot for DPA breaches.

doodude · Post by **doodude** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 9:01 pm

The US is roughly 40 times larger than the UK so I will assume that there are more accents on english than anywhere else.

Having said that, I cant think of anywhere that I could go & need an interpreter ( ie: tv captions as mentioned above ) in order to understand the slaughtered Queens E that comes out of some hicks mouth.

Its as if the bloke ( mentioned above ) was speaking Gaelic with a lemon twist.

I find that very humorous considering that we'uns in these parts are considered by some to be such unrefined heathens.
In spite of it being true in my case............ ya'll.

Also, Im not positive but I believe jpl is ok as long as no names are disclosed.
By US standards anyway.
English law is far easier I think (?) than US to prove slander so Im not sure.
You better take that vacation now jpl. Im just sayin'...

Twiddle · Post by **Twiddle** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 9:24 pm

No, don't delete this thread.

Daigohji wrote:I'm pretty sure job applications fall under the Data Protection Act, which would make posting this online illegal. In the public sector I've known people who were fired on the spot for DPA breaches.

Davey · Post by **Davey** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 9:47 pm

doodude wrote:Also, Im not positive but I believe jpl is ok as long as no names are disclosed.

Yeah, I think The Daily WTF has posted portions of people's resumes before with personal info (name, address, etc.) blocked out.

shmups.system11.org

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Re: the worst CV ever