One Linerz & VERY Short Joke Thread

doodude · Post by **doodude** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 5:49 am

Two cannibals were eating a clown.

One cannibal looked at the other & said, " does this taste funny to you?"

Yeah well, lets hear yours...

JoshF · Post by **JoshF** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 6:37 am

One guy walks into a gay and gay sex with a man.

The Coop · Post by **The Coop** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 7:05 am

Why'd the farmer cross the road? Because his dick was stuck in the chicken.

A boy comes running into his house, finds his father and says, "DAD! I just experienced my first blow job!". The father says, "That's great son! How was it?" The kid says, "It tasted awful."

Specineff · Post by **Specineff** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 8:24 am

Oldie but goodie.

What's worse than biting an apple and finding a worm? Biting an apple and finding half a worm

jpj · Post by **jpj** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 8:57 am

what do women and condoms have in common?

spend more time in your wallet than on your penis

Bootaaay · Post by **Bootaaay** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 10:11 am

What happened to Jesus when he went to Mt. Olive?

Popeye kicked the shit out of him :p

sven666 · Post by **sven666** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 12:44 pm

JoshF wrote:One guy walks into a gay and gay sex with a man.

thread win

Andi · Post by **Andi** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 2:39 pm

Bootaaay wrote:What happened to Jesus when he went to Mt. Olive?

Popeye kicked the shit out of him :p

I just crapped that was so funny.

Ruldra · Post by **Ruldra** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 2:50 pm

1) How do you put a giraffe inside a fridge?
A: Open the fridge door and put it in.

2) How do you put an elephant inside a fridge?
Open the fridge door and put it in? WRONG!
A: Open the fridge door, take the giraffe out, then put the elephant in.

3) The Lion king is calling every animal on the forest for a meeting. Which animal didn't come?
A: The elephant. He's inside the fridge.

4) How do you cross a river that's home of many crocodiles?
A: Just swim normally. The crocodiles are attending the meeting.

MX7 · Post by **MX7** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 3:26 pm

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?

Rape.

Nuke · Post by **Nuke** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 3:35 pm

What is more disgusting?
Ten babies in a blender or one baby in ten blenders?

MX7 · Post by **MX7** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 3:38 pm

Knock Knock?

Who's there?

Ah, sorry, it's me Jane. Look, I know it's late, but do you mind letting me in? Only I have some rather exciting news.

Rumblecat · Post by **Rumblecat** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 3:43 pm

I won the Most Reasonable Man in the World competition yesterday. Actually I came second but the guy who came first gave it to me.

Nuke · Post by **Nuke** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 3:46 pm

doodude · Post by **doodude** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 5:06 pm

Whats the difference between Pink & Purple?

Your Grip...

How do we know toothpaste was invented in Alabama?

Because it’s not called teethpaste...

Two condoms walk past a gay bar.

One looks at the other and says, “Hey, wanna go inside and get shit-faced?”

MX7 · Post by **MX7** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 5:44 pm

My favourite joke of all time:

A man wakes up in the middle of the night and hears someone crashing about on his roof. He runs outside into the street and sees two jewish children sitting on top of his house.

"What the HELL are you doing up there?", he screams.

"Stargazing", they shout back.

Ed Oscuro · Post by **Ed Oscuro** » Sun Mar 09, 2008 12:29 am

Nuke's post is the funniest one-liner in the thread (I was waiting so I wouldn't have to give it to JoshF). Lots of good jokes in here!

freddiebamboo · Post by **freddiebamboo** » Sun Mar 09, 2008 3:19 am

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

JJG · Post by **JJG** » Sun Mar 09, 2008 4:07 pm

Nuke wrote:What is more disgusting?
Ten babies in a blender or one baby in ten blenders?

I like this one better:

What's worse than ten dead babies in a dumpster?

One dead baby in ten dumpsters.

FIL · Post by **FIL** » Sun Mar 09, 2008 4:19 pm

Whats the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari under my floorboards.

Arvandor · Post by **Arvandor** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 12:36 am

Politics is the perfect word to describe the act, "poly" meaning many, and "tick" meaning blood sucking parasite.

---------------------------

P1: How do you fit an elephant in a taxi?
P2: I dunno, how?
P1: You take the F out of way.
P2: ... Uhh... There is no F in way.
P1: Correct!

----------------------------

I used to know a lot of really good pirate jokes, but I can't remember what they ARRRRrrrr!!!

GaijinPunch · Post by **GaijinPunch** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 3:18 am

sven666 wrote:
JoshF wrote:One guy walks into a gay and gay sex with a man.
thread win

I don't get it.

I know this is tacky, but....
A Rabbi & a Priest walk by an orphanage:
Priest: Let's go in there and fuck some of those kids.
Rabbi: Fuck 'em out of what?

Damocles · Post by **Damocles** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 4:39 am

A baby seal walks into a club.

doodude · Post by **doodude** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 5:03 am

What’s carved on a nun’s tombstone?

Returned unopened.

What do you call a nun’s panties?

A crack habit.

A priest walks by a hooker, who shouts, “Hey, father, I’ll give you a blow job for 10 bucks!”

The embarrassed priest then bumps into a nun from his church. “Perhaps you can help me, sister,” he says. “What’s a blow job?”

“Ten bucks,” the nun replies. “Same as everywhere else.”

The Coop · Post by **The Coop** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 6:42 am

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Excuse me, but do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says, "Why no, I don't." Then the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.

Michaelm · Post by **Michaelm** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 11:58 am

I wouldn't lay awake tonight if I wouldn't wake up tomorrow....

I'm Alec · Post by **I'm Alec** » Tue Mar 11, 2008 11:53 pm

What do you get when you give a dentist a dollar?

Buck teeth.

elfhentaifan · Post by **elfhentaifan** » Wed Mar 12, 2008 12:29 am

Goldy Lock walks into the forest and meets a mushroom.

The mushrooms says: "So what" ?

JoshF · Post by **JoshF** » Wed Mar 12, 2008 2:12 am

Uhh...what did the Scots Santa Clause say to a boy that got him arrested?

PaCrappa · Post by **PaCrappa** » Wed Mar 12, 2008 2:36 am

Do you guys know what a one liner is? There have been three proper one liners in this thread and they are:

"One guy walks into a gay and gay sex with a man."

"A dyslexic man walks into a bra"

"A baby seal walks into a club."

This is one technically but it's too damn long:

"Politics is the perfect word to describe the act, "poly" meaning many, and "tick" meaning blood sucking parasite."

This is the most failridden thread we've had since F16 was shown the door.