TRASHSTORM (EPISODE XXIII)
CONSEQUENCE OF STUPIDITY
TRASHSTORM IS NOT A REAL STORY.
IS NOT EVEN GOOD FICTION.
IS TRASH GAME REVIEWS.
ALL OF THE GAMES FEATURED WOULD CAUSE A PERSON DISAPPOINTMENT,
ANGER, FRUSTRATION, DEPRESSION, MONEY LOSS INCLUDED.
TO PUT IT ANOTHER WAY: DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME.
Dmitrii Zaitsev: He's in the net, Xeneder. Send it. Authenticate: Trashgame F-U-2-3.
Xeneder: Authenticate: Danjigoku. Readback.
Dmitrii Zaitsev: Danjigoku. May God have mercy...
Ah, shit. Time to talk about trash shooters, again. This time is gonna be Danjigoku by someone called Dmitrii Zaitsev, also known as Xeneder.
What on Earth, man!?
The gameplay of Danjigoku is basically a "Base Defense" of the most basic type where the enemy has to make contact with your base to damage it until it is destroyed. Losing your base means Game Over instantly, same if you lose your single life, but you can take plenty of damage. Onto the gameplay, this is a twin-stick shmup where you're capable of unleashing a massive spray of bullets to your enemies. After all, Danjigoku means "Bullet Hell" just like Danmaku does. The "fun" part of the game is that you can unleash your bullet hell towards any direction, but here's the catch: Your shots consume ammunition, so you can't go around firing like a maniac. But the worst part is the movility. Your ship is the slowest thing you can possibly imagine. Hell, even the Vic Viper without Speed Ups is faster than your craptastic ship, at the point the game feels nearly unplayable because of this. Fortunately, the game drops a few upgrades: Speed ups, and weapon power ups. Believe it or not, you need to be on Speed Level 4 to make the ship fast enough to make it "playable". When something like that happens, you already know the game is fucked. The weapon power up unleashes a "Lightning" attack that damages an enemy in a specific direction as if your firing creates a binding chain with the enemy behind you destroying it at the same time. Multiple destruction is the main feature of the game as it has a combo system which is indicated by the text getting red. Once it returns to white, it resets. In a bizarre turn of events, the game doesn't seem to recognize the borders of the screen, resulting on being able to leave the area and return, but when your ship is off-screen, you can't see the direction of the bullets when you're firing while attempting to "locate" your ship, effectively losing your ship in a very absurd way. Aaaand that's all about this game. I hate to say it, but there's no more things to say due to its lack of content.
Like most trash shooters, it relies on the use of false ad blurb, specifically the "Classic Arcade" and "Retro-Style" parts. Like I said on X-Force Under Attack and Hyper-5 that's COMPLETE BULLSHIT and . I've saw much better old school arcade games that play much better than this, and honestly I don't know why to say such blasphemy for the sake of selling a few downloads. If your game is trash and you're honest you should do what Telecomsoft did with five of the worst games ever: Publish it as "Don't Buy This". Yeah, this should be called "Don't Buy This: One of the Worst PlayStation 4 Shmups Ever", that would be a great warning to everyone.
The graphics, MY...GOD...They're awful, the lone exception is the planet on the prologue scene which looks like a digitized Master System-ish sprite is the only good part of this game, the rest is this red "Cavern" texture covering the screen which might look decent, but the most laughable part of the graphics is the sprites. ABSURDELY SMALL. Your ship looks like a planchette that left the Oujia board and engaged in space combat against green undefined things. Being THAT small makes things hard to recognize.
The music on the other side is quite good as it has a mixed style of a Sega Genesis sound card and the percussion sounds of Taito's arcade games like Darius II and Metal Black. For a simple shmup, there's three tunes: Title screen, gameplay and Game Over. The in-gameplay theme becomes very repetitive with the synth and drumming despite breaking with the repetitivity for a while and the only thing you would want to do is to turn off the console or close the app.
- The trophy "All Your Base Are Belong To Us" is a reference to the Genesis version of Zero Wing, which was a long-lasting internet meme.
The Lea Scale just blew out! Everyone brace!
Hello?! Hello?! Is anyone out there?! This is Nina Lynn to anyone on this net, please respond, I need damage reports!
Sturmvogel Prime...still here, I think.
Looks like this game was atrociously bad, as if the developer made it like that on purpose. Anyway, Danjigoku is a sorry excuse for an arena shooter which after the first three waves of enemies, it becomes repetitive and stupid. Something that you don't wish on your worst enemies. Looks like someone at Sony is not doing his/her job correctly 'cos nobody seems to care about trash games plaguing the PlayStation Store.
- - - - - < SYSTEM > - - - - -
[ REVIEW OVER ]
This review has gone insane.
Galaxy's quote from Project Wingman sums up Xeneder's abomination.
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