Movies you've just watched

[Skykid]

The Matrix 4

This has got to be the angriest and most spiteful Hollywood movie I've watched since Verhoven's heyday.
<snip>

So I think and I are on the same page, yeah? I've been berating my friends that told me it was "okay" before I watched it.

It’s a bag of shit.

Amazingly, it was still better than the insulting atrocity that was No Time to Die.

Movies are dead.

[GaijinPunch]

It’s a bag of shit.

Amazingly, it was still better than the insulting atrocity that was No Time to Die.

Movies are dead.

Bad enough for you to make an appearance? That's quite the statement... and very accurate.

[vol.2]

Yeah, I watched NTTD with my parents over the weekend and it was steaming pile of crap; nothing could have prepared me for how bad it was. Even the production values were terrible. And the only decent acting in the whole film came from Jeffrey Wright and his two minutes of screen time.

I guess it's good they killed the character off, but it was a really unfortunate way to go out. Not that really care about the franchise much anyway, but it's an embarrassment.

[drauch]

Oh wow, they still are using Rage for the credits? Powerful. Uplifting!

[Vexorg]

F9: The Fast Saga: ***

At this point, I think the main reason people watch the Fast and Furious movies is the same reason people came out to watch those staged train wrecks back in the late 19th and early 20th century. They just want to see carnage, and the producers keep promising more of it in each film. Every film has pretty much the same plot (Some villain is trying to get a hold of some sort of technobabble gobbledygook infinity stone thingy that will let them take over the world, and it's up to our A-Team of B-Listers to stop them) but the stakes keep getting higher and higher, the laws of physics were thrown out the window, off a cliff, shot up by a Predator drone and whatever was left was blown up with a bad one-liner and about half a ton of C4 five movies ago, and the producers have to keep coming up with more and more ridiculous and implausible action setpieces in each film to keep the butts in the seats. As I've said before about this series, they're pretty much superhero movies where the super power is a neverending supply of cars and CG artists.

So basically, it's the cinematic equivalent of a CW series, only with $250 million budgets for each episode. Better than Fate of the Furious, mostly by merit of featuring a lot less of Charlize Theron. As usual, just turn off your brain and don't think too hard about any of this, lest you end up giving it a trillion sins just to keep sane. A few more comments in spoilers, but it's not like you couldn't see everything that happens in this film from a mile away anyway.

Spoiler

Apparently if you are on the good guy side it's impossible to actually die in these movies, judging from the return of Letty in the sixth film and Han in this one. All they need to do now is find some ex machina for Gisele to have survived the ending of the sixth film and that's everyone in the "family" still alive. And if you had the ninth film in the "when would they end up in space?" pool come claim your prize. I'm mostly surprised it took that long.

And once again, Helen Mirren's appearance as Queenie is one of the best parts of the movie, they need to just give her character her own movie at this point. Since the main series is supposed to end after the next one, I'm guessing the producers are scrambling furiously (and fastly) for spinoffs to keep the cash rolling in.

[BIL]

those staged train wrecks back in the late 19th and early 20th century.

Fascinating read, thanks for posting that.

[GaijinPunch]

Super Bob Einstein Movie

Excellent.

[xxx1993]

Has anyone ever heard of this movie? One Shot, it stars Scott Adkins as a Navy SEAL who has been assigned to escort a prisoner from a black site island to prevent a major attack on Washington, D.C., except said island is later taken over by a group of terrorists. The whole movie is, true to the title, done in one long take, similar to movies like Birdman and 1917. It's exactly like a video game, with Adkins' character like your avatar and the prisoner he's trying to get out alive being the NPC you must protect. There are several fight scenes also, which almost resemble boss battles.

[vol.2]

I watched the Army of the Dead and Army of Thieves last night.

Dead was about a 5.5 out of 10 in the greater scheme of things. There are lots of ZS production values that annoy the crap out of me, but Bautista was fine, and some of the other characters acquitted themselves well. It's a pretty bog-standard zombie film with a throw-back vibe that I appreciated. I'm not a fan of modern waking dead zombie stuff, so that's a positive for me. On the other hand, the action is just so-so and the story is all fairly shallow and forgettable; many small plot elements exist and are not fleshed out in any kind of satisfying way. It stays that way from beginning to end, but it never really drags. It falls into the category of "fun and stupid action movie" and is a good choice when you aren't in the mood to think.

Thieves was the better of the two ;6 out of 10. It's not a real winner either, but it has a more cohesive story with better written characters. It focuses on a more specific story that is fleshed out in an ever-so-slightly more interesting way than what Dead has to offer. ZS isn't present here, so you lose the annoying faux-artistic production flourishes (positive), but you also lose some of the grandiose action sequences (negative). Dead has a lot more scope than Thieves, but it isn't able to deliver on it's scope and fall under the weight of it. Thieves is balanced fairly well, but it isn't strong enough of a script or produced well enough to elevate it above a "fun to watch" level.

[JBC]

Spoiler

Neo and Trinity become cornered atop a skyscraper. Holding hands, they leap off hoping Neo is able to harness his flying ability, but instead Trinity gains the ability and flies them to safety.

[MOSQUITO FIGHTER]

The Machinist

Been meaning to watch this forever just never got around to it. I guess it is supposed to be a deep movie. But it’s just comes off as being dumb. The big reveal at the end was pretty weak.

American Gangster

Lots of great acting here. Plot isn’t that great really. But yeah everything was really well shot and acted and the locations were well done. Definitely worth checking out if you haven’t yet.

Law Abiding Citizen

It was kinda far fetched. I don’t think Butler is all that great of an actor either. Lots of ridiculous things happening here.

Mask of Zorro

I thought this was surprisingly well done. It’s not anything too amazing but it not anything really awful either. Has some really cool sets and well done action. You can tell they put some thought into it. Really surprised because I was expecting this to be way more of a cheese fest.

Shutter Island

Another well made movie. But I’m just not all that into the story here. Worth checking out.

Outlander

Not the TV series. This is the movie with the guy from passion of the Christ. It was straight up bad. Wouldn’t really recommend it. I guess it’s trying to do something new but it just doesn’t work all that well. Has some ridiculous stuff happening in it too.

Power of Dog

Again this one is shot well and has some cool locations but the story just wasn’t my thing. I guess that’s how most movies are these days. Maybe I should just try to stick with tv series. I really feel like I’ve been watching a pretty crummy string of movies for the most part. Really let down for the most part.

[Vexorg]

Red Notice: **

For a movie with a (slightly) less than two hour run time, there seems to be a lot of stuff crammed into this one, which isn't necessarily a good thing. With three big stars (Dwayne Johnson Ryan Reynolds and Gal Godot,) a $200 million budget, no fewer than three different heist plots and a prison break, it's a lot to take in. That said, your enjoyment of this movie will depend a LOT on how much you like Ryan Reynolds, because probably 2/3 of the run time consists of him making one-liners, and most of the other third is Dwayne Johnson being Dwayne Johnson (Gal Godot mostly shows up at conveniently inconvenient times to make them all look like fools.) The movie can't seem to decide if it's trying to be The Italian Job, Oceans 11, National Treasure or Indiana Jones, so it decides to try to be all of them at the same time. Critically panned, but seems to have done well with the audiences (36% critics score on RT, compared to a 92% audience score.)

[Mischief Maker]

Redlettermedia shares my take on The Matrix 4...

...though I'm surprised my take is even more cynical than theirs. I don't think the action was just cheap, I think it was intentionally, angrily, bad. Like the warehouse fight that constantly cuts to a disheveled Merovingian ranting like a lunatic about how they're ruining the Matrix franchise in real time.

[Stevens]

Has anyone ever heard of this movie? One Shot, it stars Scott Adkins as a Navy SEAL who has been assigned to escort a prisoner from a black site island to prevent a major attack on Washington, D.C., except said island is later taken over by a group of terrorists. The whole movie is, true to the title, done in one long take, similar to movies like Birdman and 1917. It's exactly like a video game, with Adkins' character like your avatar and the prisoner he's trying to get out alive being the NPC you must protect. There are several fight scenes also, which almost resemble boss battles.

Adkins is one of the most underrated action people out there. If you haven't seen it check out Ninja 2, you can skip the 1st.

[BIL]

The Machinist

Been meaning to watch this forever just never got around to it. I guess it is supposed to be a deep movie. But it’s just comes off as being dumb. The big reveal at the end was pretty weak.

Thought this was likeable but disposable BITD. Bale's weight loss/gain for it and Batman Begins is the most memorable thing about it imo. Well, that and Michael Ironside's dismembered arm spinning merrily about, then Mike getting his revengeance on by GRABBING ONTO CHRISTIAN BAWBAG >_< OOF CHRIST NOT ME PLUMS MIKE FUCK SAKE MAN

Law Abiding Citizen

It was kinda far fetched. I don’t think Butler is all that great of an actor either. Lots of ridiculous things happening here.

Silly-ass movie, though I grew to like the moral. Hopefully Jamie Foxx really won't make any more deals with monsters! Somebody should enact a similar campaign of terror-horror on Thomas Binger, though I'm 50% sure he's not merely a shameless careerist prosecutor but also ideologically brain-damaged.

Best thing ultimately is one of the better shankings in mainstream film - albeit cheekily self-gratifying! Imagine if that guy had been sensibly polite and went "Haha no man I'm good, well tbh I'll have some if it's alright?" when Butler asked what he was gonna do to him if Butler didn't hand over his food - instead of goin' all American History X mean-muggin! It'd be heartbreakin'! Instead it's like "OWCH! DATS GOTTA HOIT " Bro you didn't need to do that even for appearances, obvious you could get Gerry in a mean backshot under normal circumstances!

[JBC]

Battle Creek Brawl: underrated American Jackie Chan film from 1980 that takes place in the 30's and features roller derby, street fighting, gangsters, and music by Lalo Schifrin of Mission: Impossible fame who would later go on to score Rush Hour. Really fun

[BIL]

Schifrin scored Dirty Harry too, super badass score! Haunting and grooving. A name that'll instantly get my attention.

[xxx1993]

Has anyone ever heard of this movie? One Shot, it stars Scott Adkins as a Navy SEAL who has been assigned to escort a prisoner from a black site island to prevent a major attack on Washington, D.C., except said island is later taken over by a group of terrorists. The whole movie is, true to the title, done in one long take, similar to movies like Birdman and 1917. It's exactly like a video game, with Adkins' character like your avatar and the prisoner he's trying to get out alive being the NPC you must protect. There are several fight scenes also, which almost resemble boss battles.

Adkins is one of the most underrated action people out there. If you haven't seen it check out Ninja 2, you can skip the 1st.

The second Ninja movie was pretty kickass also!

[MOSQUITO FIGHTER]

Silly-ass movie, though I grew to like the moral. Hopefully Jamie Foxx really won't make any more deals with monsters! Somebody should enact a similar campaign of terror-horror on Thomas Binger, though I'm 50% sure he's not merely a shameless careerist prosecutor but also ideologically brain-damaged.

Best thing ultimately is one of the better shankings in mainstream film - albeit cheekily self-gratifying! Imagine if that guy had been sensibly polite and went "Haha no man I'm good, well tbh I'll have some if it's alright?" when Butler asked what he was gonna do to him if Butler didn't hand over his food - instead of goin' all American History X mean-muggin! It'd be heartbreakin'! Instead it's like "OWCH! DATS GOTTA HOIT " Bro you didn't need to do that even for appearances, obvious you could get Gerry in a mean backshot under normal circumstances!

Most ridiculous part of it to me was that he had a tunnel going from his cell to his workshop/warehouse. Then he just comes back and puts himself back in chains and locks himself back up. So stupid! It reminded me of some nonsense off Hogan’s Heroes or something like that.

[null1024]

F9: The Fast Saga: ***

At this point, I think the main reason people watch the Fast and Furious movies is the same reason people came out to watch those staged train wrecks back in the late 19th and early 20th century. They just want to see carnage, and the producers keep promising more of it in each film.

I'm still waiting for one of those absurd meme plots that keep going around to actually happen, like needing to drive up the side of an ICBM in-flight [full disclosure: I have not seen F9, so if this happens during it, I'm going to audibly scream].
Or my favorite one, and I wish I had the picture, which basically goes something like:

"We need to stop him before the President dies!"
"Wait, the President was killed yesterday! How are we-"
*with a smirk and a nod, both men start speaking at the same time*
"Time cars!"
and I keep hearing rumors that they might actually add time travel in F10 or whatever

I'm still constantly thinking of that one scene in F8 where they've all got grappling hooks around a car, and it's straight out of a superhero movie.
I'm still constantly thinking about F8 in general. It's just... something else.

[Ixmucane2]

like needing to drive up the side of an ICBM in-flight

That would probably make more sense than the actual FF9 space stunt.

[JBC]

A few modern Jackie Chans I had missed -

Kung-Fu Yoga - Ridiculous fun. Quite a lot of nonsense and awful awful cgi animals. Some real cheese here but harmless. Great ending that's so bad it's good imo. All movies should end with everybody dancing.

Vanguard - Not a Jackie Chan movie, he's just in it and it's just bad. Very self-serious but unjustifiably so considering some of the outlandish elements. Really forgettable.

Forbidden Kingdom - This movie would be great if not for the cliche premise. It's filmed okay and has great sets, costumes, choreography, and music. Just do away with the target audience stand-in and you've got yourself a fun adventure.

Little Big Soldier - Wow. Great movie. There's something happening in every shot and it offers a dynamism to the whole experience. There's really minimal CGI here that's just used for scenery and some flavor, but animals and things are still real, including a bear and an ox. Very likeable and funny.

Shaolin - Not a Jackie Chan movie, he's just in it. It's very melodramatic but not too bad. Maybe a little too dark and sad for my taste. Good fights happen but the tone is so dour you won't be really enjoying the badassery, just worried for the safety of the elderly and children characters. It's just a bit too heavy and the antagonist's motives are pretty questionable.

[BIL]

Glengarry Glen Ross (1992) One of those movies I've rewatched so many times, the frames are soaked into memory. An unforgettable fire of dog-eat-dog play-on-film. I find that as I get older, Alan Arkin's performance stands out more and more as George, the quietly desperate yet resigned member of the cast, and the nearest it has to an innocent. Everyone, though, to the last man is perfect. A substantial black satire that's also an effortlessly rewatchable breeze.

Spoilers for film and play versions both:

Spoiler

I have to say I like the movie's treatment of Roma and Shelly better than the play's. Lemmon and Pacino have a lovely chemistry, a flicker of human warmth and restraint in what's otherwise a quasi-Hobbesian nightmare. The play revealing Roma's knife is in Shelly's back from the start is a shallow and not especially surprising twist underlining a point already well-made.

The world is cruel, sure, but it's not entirely without warmth. That's another cruelty in itself.

[xxx1993]

Finally got around to seeing The 355. I thought it was pretty good. But this is only the beginning.

[EmperorIng]

Friday night at the theater is showing Princess Mononoke as a midnight movie. I find it hard to believe, but I don't think I've ever seen it in the original Japanese. It's time to change that

Speaking to my boss about annie-may, she was telling me that Mirai was supposed to be good and that that director came out with a new flick, but I haven't seen either of them.

[GaijinPunch]

Friday night at the theater is showing Princess Mononoke as a midnight movie. I find it hard to believe, but I don't think I've ever seen it in the original Japanese. It's time to change that

Music Box? I actually saw it there (original Japanese) a few years ago. 35mm print as well, if memory serves. Too bad I'm not in the hood or I'd wear a sleeping bag with sleeves and go check it out!

[GaijinPunch]

The Tragedy of MacBeth

Forgot to mention I saw this over the holidays. So the big warning: it's straight up Shakespeare. If that's not your thing, you probably won't like it. Tons of dialogue and it's pretty hard to follow word for word. Gist of the story, not so much. It is shot in the irksome but also kind of amazing Academy ratio, Black and White (probably not film though) and the sets look like something out of the Bauhaus. For that alone it's worth checking out.

[NYN]

That the one by Ethan Coen? So, not in the Coen realm of cinema, I take it. OK, then.

[DenimDemon]

For work propusesse re watched Lav Diaz ,The Woman Who Left. So good, like it a lot.

[GaijinPunch]

That the one by Ethan Coen? So, not in the Coen realm of cinema, I take it.

Correct. Amazing in it's own right, but just don't expect some weird backwoods dialect and hijinx to ensue.

OK, then.

10/10