SP Review: Zippy the Circle 11-12-13 (PS4|5)

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Sturmvogel Prime
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SP Review: Zippy the Circle 11-12-13 (PS4|5)

Post by Sturmvogel Prime »

The Final Stretch, the Final Chapter, the Grand Finale, the Final Mission. Thank God.

The reviews of Breakthrough Gaming's Zippy the Circle series are coming to an end with the release of Zippy the Circle Level 11, Level 12 & Level 13.
Like in the previous review I'll spare you from talking about graphics and sound, since they're the same 3D trash as before.

Time to put an end to this.



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This is the best example of "Wasting your time": Bouncing like an idiot.

Level 11 is splitted in two parts. The first one is another maze where you control a ball, and like level 10, its a Goddamned calvary as the ball bounces on everything and to make things worse, someone on a "bright moment" of lucidity, decided to put a blockade on the path (See the screenshot above), making the maze navigation a bounce in vain hopping to get through after some tries. If you've pulled the plug here I don't blame you and God will agree with your decision. I almost forgot, you have to clear the level in less than 400 seconds to get the first medal and first trophy of the game.



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It's like Lunar Ball gone wrong.

The second part of the level is different here since the objective is to place the ball on the "Goals", and if you thought the first part was bad, this is even worse, because when you move the ball to the goals, even the slightiest touch will push it fast and there's no vertical or horizontal pushing, only diagonal directions. You can think of this as the bad version of the NES pool game Lunar Ball. There might be instances where the ball gets stucked. In case that happen, just press the Triangle button to reset the ball position.



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Pulling the switches and is one step futher into stupidity.

Level 12 consists on activating 3 switches in order to complete the level. In a lack of creativity, Switches 2 and 3 require to go right and then up, nothing short of poetry, no science required. You'll be doing that in less than 150 seconds, clearing the Medal objective of clearing the stage in 250 seconds.



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Time Bomb Set!
Escape Immediately!


Level 13 is the easiest of all final levels. All you have to do is to jump all the way up until you reach the goal as if it was a bad copy of the Tourian escape from the first Metroid. Your only worry is to clear it in less than 150 seconds to get the medal and the trophy, and finally finish this game for good.



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Indeed, Nina.

Looks like a breath of relief never felt so good after playing all these trash games and realizing it's all over, because all of them were like a heavy cross on my back. Hope that means I can continue writing the shmup reviews I have "in progress".




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Sorry, your nightmare is far from over.

Are they [EXPLETIVE] kidding me?, ¿Zippy the Circle 2? Not just I have to deal with an upcoming ZJ the Ball sequel and now this? If playing trash games is like carrying a heavy cross, then these upcoming sequels are like being nailed to that cross with rusty nails and suffering blood poisoning due to the rust.



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That horrified Shizuka Sakai can't mean good news...

Looks like something terrible happened. Just hope is not more trash from Breakthrough Gaming...



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HORRORS!! ONE BAD GAME!!
DOUBLE HORRORS!! DOUBLE HORRORS!! TWO BAD GAMES!!
AND IF THERE ARE THREE...AN UNGODLY NIGHTMARE OF TRASH GAMING!!
CLOSE YOUR EYES! WHO DARES TO SEE IT?? TRY THAT NEXT SUNDAY!
SAME SHMUPS' OTHER GAMING BOARD!! SAME STURMVOGEL PRIME REVIEW!!


(Sigh) damn it, looks like there's a few loose ends to tie up. Our Church and Halloween Story Five and two "new" games, which I wouldn't be surprised if they're the Story Four of both Jane and Pammy versions of Project: Summer Ice - Bowling, or maybe, just maybe, the first part of ZJ the Ball 2.
Fan of Transformers, Shmups and Anime-styled Girls. You're teamed up with the right pilot!
Bringing you shmup and video game reviews with humorous criticism.

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BulletMagnet
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Re: SP Review: Zippy the Circle 11-12-13 (PS4|5)

Post by BulletMagnet »

Presumably the devs said "yeah, we could stop, but there's this one masochist who plays all our stuff, it'd be mean of us to deprive him of what he obviously craves after all this time..."
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