Cave is just trolling us at this point
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cave hermit
- Posts: 1544
- Joined: Sat Sep 07, 2013 2:46 pm
- Location: Pennsylvania
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
Cave Matsuri 2022
Half the world has died of Covid-19
All countries are under martial law
3 people show up to the event
Some random intern at cave walks out onto the stage
He pulls his pants and underwear down, jumps up on the podium, and squats
He begins grunting and making indistinct Asian noises
Something is emerging from his anus
It's "Cave Shooting Best Of Mobile" for the Nintendo Switch, a compilation of 3 of cave's java mobile releases, ported by G Mode
Intern opens the game case
There's a digital code voucher inside for the Japanese eShop and nothing else
There is something sticking out of the intern's urethra
Intern squints as he pinches the tip and pulls it out
It's a rolled up little slip of paper
Intern unrolls it and reads it
"MSRP ¥8700"
The crowd is silent
Intern suddenly starts retching
ntern pukes up a bottle filled with something white and viscous
It's robot girl loli futa semen, included only with the purchase of the special edition at ¥17,000
The crowd claps and cheers
Compilation releases a year later, 2 months after release a firmware update for the switch inadvertently makes the compilation crash on startup. Cave never releases a patch to fix this. Nintendo does not do anything about it. Not that it matters, the games in the collection have an extra 3 ms input latency so there's no point playing them over the original java mobile games on an actual Nokia.
Half the world has died of Covid-19
All countries are under martial law
3 people show up to the event
Some random intern at cave walks out onto the stage
He pulls his pants and underwear down, jumps up on the podium, and squats
He begins grunting and making indistinct Asian noises
Something is emerging from his anus
It's "Cave Shooting Best Of Mobile" for the Nintendo Switch, a compilation of 3 of cave's java mobile releases, ported by G Mode
Intern opens the game case
There's a digital code voucher inside for the Japanese eShop and nothing else
There is something sticking out of the intern's urethra
Intern squints as he pinches the tip and pulls it out
It's a rolled up little slip of paper
Intern unrolls it and reads it
"MSRP ¥8700"
The crowd is silent
Intern suddenly starts retching
ntern pukes up a bottle filled with something white and viscous
It's robot girl loli futa semen, included only with the purchase of the special edition at ¥17,000
The crowd claps and cheers
Compilation releases a year later, 2 months after release a firmware update for the switch inadvertently makes the compilation crash on startup. Cave never releases a patch to fix this. Nintendo does not do anything about it. Not that it matters, the games in the collection have an extra 3 ms input latency so there's no point playing them over the original java mobile games on an actual Nokia.
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neon guide
- Posts: 32
- Joined: Wed Feb 23, 2011 6:47 pm
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
Is this going to be one of those mobile games you would use to see advertised in the little flyers that came with the JP console releases of various shooters?
If so I'm very keen to get this, they always looked totally fascinating and unobtainable.
If so I'm very keen to get this, they always looked totally fascinating and unobtainable.
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
Yeah, but this specific one is just downgraded version of DOJ. I would prefer they would port the ones that were mobile-only exclusives that nobody can obtain anymoreneon guide wrote:Is this going to be one of those mobile games you would use to see advertised in the little flyers that came with the JP console releases of various shooters?
If so I'm very keen to get this, they always looked totally fascinating and unobtainable.
See viewtopic.php?f=1&t=51532
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
It sounds like they’re interested in doing more of those; I think they started with DOJ DX just to drum up interest. The Archives+ line is G-mode taking on other publishers’ feature phone games, and they just recently closed a big poll to gather names of things people wanted to see ported.qmish wrote:Yeah, but this specific one is just downgraded version of DOJ. I would prefer they would port the ones that were mobile-only exclusives that nobody can obtain anymoreneon guide wrote:Is this going to be one of those mobile games you would use to see advertised in the little flyers that came with the JP console releases of various shooters?
If so I'm very keen to get this, they always looked totally fascinating and unobtainable.
See viewtopic.php?f=1&t=51532
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
Then, it's "wait and see" situation.
Just hope it won't be like Degica's PC Cave releases when everyone screamed "just gimme Akai Katana / SDOJ already!" but that never happened.
Just hope it won't be like Degica's PC Cave releases when everyone screamed "just gimme Akai Katana / SDOJ already!" but that never happened.
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To Far Away Times
- Posts: 1699
- Joined: Tue Sep 11, 2012 12:42 am
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
I felt this in my soul. CAVE giveth and CAVE taketh away.cave hermit wrote:Cave Matsuri 2022
Half the world has died of Covid-19
All countries are under martial law
3 people show up to the event
Some random intern at cave walks out onto the stage
He pulls his pants and underwear down, jumps up on the podium, and squats
He begins grunting and making indistinct Asian noises
Something is emerging from his anus
It's "Cave Shooting Best Of Mobile" for the Nintendo Switch, a compilation of 3 of cave's java mobile releases, ported by G Mode
Intern opens the game case
There's a digital code voucher inside for the Japanese eShop and nothing else
There is something sticking out of the intern's urethra
Intern squints as he pinches the tip and pulls it out
It's a rolled up little slip of paper
Intern unrolls it and reads it
"MSRP ¥8700"
The crowd is silent
Intern suddenly starts retching
ntern pukes up a bottle filled with something white and viscous
It's robot girl loli futa semen, included only with the purchase of the special edition at ¥17,000
The crowd claps and cheers
Compilation releases a year later, 2 months after release a firmware update for the switch inadvertently makes the compilation crash on startup. Cave never releases a patch to fix this. Nintendo does not do anything about it. Not that it matters, the games in the collection have an extra 3 ms input latency so there's no point playing them over the original java mobile games on an actual Nokia.
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
You win the internet this weekcave hermit wrote:Cave Matsuri 2022
Half the world has died of Covid-19
All countries are under martial law
3 people show up to the event
Some random intern at cave walks out onto the stage
He pulls his pants and underwear down, jumps up on the podium, and squats
He begins grunting and making indistinct Asian noises
Something is emerging from his anus
It's "Cave Shooting Best Of Mobile" for the Nintendo Switch, a compilation of 3 of cave's java mobile releases, ported by G Mode
Intern opens the game case
There's a digital code voucher inside for the Japanese eShop and nothing else
There is something sticking out of the intern's urethra
Intern squints as he pinches the tip and pulls it out
It's a rolled up little slip of paper
Intern unrolls it and reads it
"MSRP ¥8700"
The crowd is silent
Intern suddenly starts retching
ntern pukes up a bottle filled with something white and viscous
It's robot girl loli futa semen, included only with the purchase of the special edition at ¥17,000
The crowd claps and cheers
Compilation releases a year later, 2 months after release a firmware update for the switch inadvertently makes the compilation crash on startup. Cave never releases a patch to fix this. Nintendo does not do anything about it. Not that it matters, the games in the collection have an extra 3 ms input latency so there's no point playing them over the original java mobile games on an actual Nokia.
XBL & Switch: mjparker77 / PSN: BellyFullOfHell
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
I'm stunned we even got Ketsui in the US for modern hardware. Personally, I want a DoDonPachi collection, you can skip DonPachi and Bee Storm. I wouldn't give a shit. Hell, I don't even need special arranges or labels.
Could just be a triple pack of DDP, DOJ, and SDOJ's original versions. I can't believe the first game has not been given a proper stand alone port since what? Playstation/Saturn?
We'll probably get their crummy gacha before any real DDP porting...
Could just be a triple pack of DDP, DOJ, and SDOJ's original versions. I can't believe the first game has not been given a proper stand alone port since what? Playstation/Saturn?
We'll probably get their crummy gacha before any real DDP porting...
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
As phenomenal as that sounds, given that THIS mobile port is what we're getting, we all know that a collection is never going to happen. It's terrible...but I've never even pondered such a compilation b/c of my ultra-low expectations.XoPachi wrote:Could just be a triple pack of DDP, DOJ, and SDOJ's original versions. I can't believe the first game has not been given a proper stand alone port since what? Playstation/Saturn?
For reference, DDP *did* get a port on Instant Brain (unless you meant DonPachi when you said "the first game.")
A collection would rule and that's why it'll never happen. :/
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
Cave never knew what they wanted to do with their console releases and even when they found some success with deathsmiles they had no idea why, and their market size was still tiny compared to what they wanted.
I honestly think there is more resentment and disappointment at Cave than there is pride in their shmup accomplishments.
Combine this with whatever archaic contracts were signed for past ports (I'd wager this is why doj switch is the phone version) and you've got this crazy situation where a genre leader has still minimal presence outside of its niche.
M2 have consistently attracted passionate (often ex) staff, and actively pushed publishers in some cases to fully honour past titles. They're far from flawless, but fully deserve the focus they get IMHO.
I honestly think there is more resentment and disappointment at Cave than there is pride in their shmup accomplishments.
Combine this with whatever archaic contracts were signed for past ports (I'd wager this is why doj switch is the phone version) and you've got this crazy situation where a genre leader has still minimal presence outside of its niche.
M2 have consistently attracted passionate (often ex) staff, and actively pushed publishers in some cases to fully honour past titles. They're far from flawless, but fully deserve the focus they get IMHO.
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
Cave swimming too much in those gacha bucks to care about anything else.
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
Is everyone just ignoring the extremely high chance that the reason this is being ported is because G-Mode asked CAVE if they could port it, and not the other way around, or am I going completely fucking insane?gray117 wrote:I'd wager this is why doj switch is the phone version
@trap0xf | daifukkat.su/blog | scores | FIRE LANCER
<S.Yagawa> I like the challenge of "doing the impossible" with older hardware, and pushing it as far as it can go.
<S.Yagawa> I like the challenge of "doing the impossible" with older hardware, and pushing it as far as it can go.
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
Yeah, you're 100% right. No idea why everyone thinks Cave are, like, forcing G-mode to take the phone DOJ or that this is the only way any Dodonpachi port can happen. Breaking news: company that specializes in ports of phone games ported a phone game. How shocking.trap15 wrote:Is everyone just ignoring the extremely high chance that the reason this is being ported is because G-Mode asked CAVE if they could port it, and not the other way around, or am I going completely fucking insane?gray117 wrote:I'd wager this is why doj switch is the phone version
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
I said it before and I'll say it again: I would rather have ports of more obscure shit like that than stuff that is easily emulated and already available on multiple platforms like arcade doj is.
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- Posts: 5
- Joined: Sat Apr 10, 2021 7:54 pm
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
Any new cave port is good news as far as I can see . My ps4 is looking forward to these later this year
Deathsmiles city connection
Deathsmiles 2x city connection
Progear capcom
Dangun Feveron ( physical ) M2
Great the interest is still there
Deathsmiles city connection
Deathsmiles 2x city connection
Progear capcom
Dangun Feveron ( physical ) M2
Great the interest is still there
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
tiny matsuri 2021 at Tokyo video gamers.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYSkLhofj2g&t=9s
guess with forbidden gaijins invites, some middleman won't lose their time shopping there for extra $
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYSkLhofj2g&t=9s
guess with forbidden gaijins invites, some middleman won't lose their time shopping there for extra $
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n0rtygames
- Posts: 1001
- Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2012 11:46 pm
- Contact:
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
Dead. This is post of the year.cave hermit wrote:Everything this guy said
That's all I have to contribute to this.
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
I did see this thread of for a while and did you think about the other way around? Maybe you're just trolling yourself expecting them to bring anything inspired? Not that they ever did, the actually good games are CAVE inspired, that is someone saw them as kid, seen potential and grew up to actually make something good out of the idea. Other than that they went all popular for being mainstream at their time, to few people had anything else to choose from. That's how I see it, what do you say Captain iPhoneCommander?
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
Do we have any concrete sales numbers for Cave's ports? I haven't been following since all the 360 ports emerged, which must have been almost a decade ago now. I vaguely recall the Japan releases having around 15,000 each on launch, not including Deathsmiles, which, according to MVCUK and Siliconera saw around 100,000 for JPN and US sales:
https://www.mcvuk.com/business-news/dea ... 000-sales/
https://www.siliconera.com/caves-deaths ... 0000-sold/
The reported numbers obviously don't include digital sales, and do not include sales in other parts of Asia and the UK/EU.
I doubt any of their other ports came close to those numbers, but they must have been profitable given the volume of ports the 360 had. If average launch numbers were around 15,000, then I'm going to guess that overall sales per title averaged around 20-30K when you factor in digital sales and budget re-releases.
Do we have any indication about Steam sales figures for the three ports on there? I've seen a lot of hearsay but nothing concrete.
To me, it looks like M2 are the best bet for getting all of Caves games onto modern systems, but with them being such a tiny company, it's probably going to take years.
https://www.mcvuk.com/business-news/dea ... 000-sales/
https://www.siliconera.com/caves-deaths ... 0000-sold/
The reported numbers obviously don't include digital sales, and do not include sales in other parts of Asia and the UK/EU.
I doubt any of their other ports came close to those numbers, but they must have been profitable given the volume of ports the 360 had. If average launch numbers were around 15,000, then I'm going to guess that overall sales per title averaged around 20-30K when you factor in digital sales and budget re-releases.
Do we have any indication about Steam sales figures for the three ports on there? I've seen a lot of hearsay but nothing concrete.
To me, it looks like M2 are the best bet for getting all of Caves games onto modern systems, but with them being such a tiny company, it's probably going to take years.
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
Not quite what you were asking but these are the Google play installs.Do we have any concrete sales numbers for Cave's ports?
DoDonPachi Resurrection installs 5,000+
https://play.google.com/store/apps/deta ... me.gg_1549
EspGaluda II installs 1,000+
https://play.google.com/store/apps/deta ... me.gg_1550
Edit. Links were from my Google play purchase history and don't seem to work when not logged in.
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apatheticTurd
- Posts: 116
- Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2011 11:12 am
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
https://sites.google.com/site/gamedatalibrary/ archives Famitsu's tracking of retail sales.bcass wrote:Do we have any concrete sales numbers for Cave's ports?
Not pictured are the 5pb-published games. DoDonPachi DOJ sold 16 179 total and Ketsui 14 926 on X360 / 3 771 on PS3.
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
Why such a mental image?cave hermit wrote:Cave Matsuri 2022
Half the world has died of Covid-19
All countries are under martial law
3 people show up to the event
Some random intern at cave walks out onto the stage
He pulls his pants and underwear down, jumps up on the podium, and squats
He begins grunting and making indistinct Asian noises
Something is emerging from his anus
It's "Cave Shooting Best Of Mobile" for the Nintendo Switch, a compilation of 3 of cave's java mobile releases, ported by G Mode
Intern opens the game case
There's a digital code voucher inside for the Japanese eShop and nothing else
There is something sticking out of the intern's urethra
Intern squints as he pinches the tip and pulls it out
It's a rolled up little slip of paper
Intern unrolls it and reads it
"MSRP ¥8700"
The crowd is silent
Intern suddenly starts retching
ntern pukes up a bottle filled with something white and viscous
It's robot girl loli futa semen, included only with the purchase of the special edition at ¥17,000
The crowd claps and cheers
Compilation releases a year later, 2 months after release a firmware update for the switch inadvertently makes the compilation crash on startup. Cave never releases a patch to fix this. Nintendo does not do anything about it. Not that it matters, the games in the collection have an extra 3 ms input latency so there's no point playing them over the original java mobile games on an actual Nokia.
We didn't want to know that!
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
Yeah we did.
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
God damn, Cave was making bank back in the 360 era (by shmup standards, anyways).apatheticTurd wrote:https://sites.google.com/site/gamedatalibrary/ archives Famitsu's tracking of retail sales.bcass wrote:Do we have any concrete sales numbers for Cave's ports?
Not pictured are the 5pb-published games. DoDonPachi DOJ sold 16 179 total and Ketsui 14 926 on X360 / 3 771 on PS3.
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
I wonder why the sales tailed off like that? Maybe more people were buying digital as time went on, so wouldn't be reflected in those retail figures?
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CloudyMusic
- Posts: 1248
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- Contact:
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
Those are sorted by number of sales, not chronologically; Saidaioujou (their last game) is slightly above the average.bcass wrote:I wonder why the sales tailed off like that? Maybe more people were buying digital as time went on, so wouldn't be reflected in those retail figures?
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
This thread is fucking hilarious and really shows how out of touch people are with the industry.
I haven't actively browsed/used this forum in many years and it's no longer an accurate representation of me.
I have retired from genre-specific content creation after 13 years, but I'll always love this little genre in my own personal way.
I have retired from genre-specific content creation after 13 years, but I'll always love this little genre in my own personal way.
Re: Cave is just trolling us at this point
$300 used cardboard boxes.Elixir wrote:...the industry.
What's not to get?
"I've had quite a few pcbs of Fire Shark over time, and none of them cost me over £30 - so it won't break the bank by any standards." ~Malc