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 Post subject: InkSplosion (XB1 - PS4/Vita - Switch - PC)
PostPosted: Fri May 14, 2021 8:37 am 

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Joined: 11 Oct 2008
Posts: 395
Location: Autobot City, Sugiura Base
Ugh, back to reviewing more of those "Done on the Cheap" shmups.
This time is InkSplosion.

¿Opening?, ¿What do you mean with an "Opening Sequence"?

As soon as you kickstart the game you'll be in the title screen immediately. No intro, no plots, nothing. Just your 3 menus and the player status. Actually you can only play Classic Mode since Arena and Hard Mode are locked.

I had more fun rolling an ink covered marble over a sheet of paper.

The gameplay is (once again) your basic Twin Stick shooter, the only difference with Nano Assault NEO-X is that the Right Analog Stick aims, while firing is assigned to the R1 button. The game also grants you the option of slow down time with the L1 button, this is good when you're stucked in difficult situations, although in any mode you won't need it since the game has a slower-to-mid pace, but most of the times, you're not gonna need it, making it an almost useless defensive skill. Also, you have no extra lives or continues if your life is depleted and lose that single life the game gave you. That's right, you die once, and is go back to Stage 01.
There's a score mechanic that involves killing as much enemies as possible without getting hit once, 'cos if you hit or crash with something your combo will reset after eliminating the next enemy. Classic Mode is an arena like shooter where it focuses a little more of navigating through random obstacles like rotating beams or alternating lines that damage the player on contact. On each level the game will automatically and randomly change your weapon. There's five weapon types: Normal Gun, Rocket Gun, Distance Gun, Laser Gun and Shotgun, being the Laser and Normal guns the most useful here due to strength (for the Laser) and rapid rate (Normal Gun). Starting with a random weapon is one thing and might add some challenge on the concept of mastering a particular weapon, but when the game pulls the trickery of giving you a different weapon just for the sake of doing it, then it's not fun. I mean, would you like to change your powerful laser gun for the crappy 3 way Shotgun? Of course no. To end this part of the review, there's no ending to this game since it is one of those old-styled games where the game is endless until you get killed.

Painting the screen with colors was never this boring.

Arena Mode is more of an arcade twin stick shooter since it omits the stage count and the random obstacles and focus on killing enemy waves. Like in Classic Mode, the score multiplier mechanic remains the same, and your weapon is randomly switched on each wave.

Kill an enemy, get the trophy, get killed, you're done with this game.

Hard Mode is basically the same game as Classic Mode, but this time it makes emphasis on increased difficulty. This could be interesting if the difficulty curve was executed properly, but in this mode, Petite Games decided to use the stupidity equation of increased player damage to absurde levels. To have an idea of what I mean with "Stupidity", 1 hit will deplete 80% of your energy. So, you've might be glad to reach wave 4 before you die 'cos there's not too much reasons to keep you playing this game. By the way, the score mechanics and random weapon changing are also carried in this mode.

Yeah, that's how much time took me to unlock everything.

The game features a total of 13 XBOX Achievements with the respective 1,000 Gamerscore Points, 13 Switch Achievements and 14 PlayStation Trophies. All of them can be obtained in around 8 minutes. Wish I was kidding, but the screenshot posted is enough proof. If you've thought Project Starship's achievements were quick to get, then think again, 'cos you'll be unlocking all the Classic Mode achievements once you've reach level 10, more than 100,000 points and dying after commiting deliberate suicide. Kill 100 enemies in Arena Mode, and then kill just 1 enemy in Hard Mode. CONGRATULATIONS! You've unlocked everything in this game. Just when I thought the PS4 port of Star99 was lame due to the number of trophies, then comes InkSplosion and establishes the fastest record on Achievement/Trophy unlocking. I know you've tried to be old-school and easy to play, but that's no reason to be that lazy for the achievement progression. Heck, even Arcade Archives: Thunder Dragon was more of a challenge than this game.

Great, how I'm I supposed to know my total score is?

I'm not gonna bother to make a long talk about the graphics and sound, especially with lame, shapeless designs that look like rejects from a bad Nicktoons cartoon, while your ship looks like a pathetic minimalistic skull and your enemies some crazy faces and crosses shooting rectangles and bullets that look like the ship from Space Invaders (Distance Gun bullets). The main concept of the game is splashing random colors pretty much like in Nintendo's classic game Splatoon. While this could be an interesting idea depending on how is executed, InkSplosion relies on pelting the screen in random colors at the point of blocking the indicators in the background, making you lose the count of how many points you have, the high score, your multiplier level and how far you're in the game.
The sound department can best be described as repetitive. As it has a 90's insipired pop-electro-funk like beat that tries to be upbeat and jammish, but its not memorable at the point of being completely forgettable. I also noticed that one of the sound effects sounds like a modded fireball noise from Super Mario Bros.

- The off-voice announcer is Barry Dunne, the same from Super Destronaut DX.

Bad indie shmups are like bad food shoved in our mouths and InkSplosion is exactly that. While the game tries to be the Splatoon of shoot'em ups, which it had the potential to be exactly that as it relies on painting the screen with random colors, but in the end we have a lazy job on the execution. ¿Why not turning enemies in a certain color to defeat them, or use the colors as a puzzle element? InkSplosion is a perfect example of making a game just for the sake of making a game no matter how lame it turns to be.
It blows my [EXPLETIVE] brains to believe that the same Petite Games who brought us Super Destronaut DX came up with this display of laziness. This is simply 5 bucks to the [EXPLETIVE] trash because it's a pathetic excuse for a Gamerscore/Trophy Milker for any console or PC and still supports a theory that I have: Ratalaika is the new LJN that distributes trash games, and paying 5 bucks will only encourage Petite Games to release another atrocious game.

Well, if you're looking for some good vertical shooting action just stay with Ginga Force and Triggerheart Exelica, there's no real reasons to buy this game.
With trash shooters like this one, I think there's no choice but to entrust the future of the STG genre to R-Type now that R-Type Final 2 has arrived.

*Sing "Damn" to the tune of "Ben" by Michael Jackson*

Damn, the game I've bought is such a flop.
I've picked a bad shooter. Oh, my Lord!

This game has to be the worst.
In minutes I was bored.
And well, with this I mean
This game is just a waste.
(This game is just a waste.)

Damn, what a disaster is this game.
(Is this game)
Drug-addicted blockheads made this mess.
(Made this mess)

If you're looking a good shmup
Stay out of this one, 'pal.
There's something you should know.
The trash is where this goes.
(The trash is where this goes.)

It claims to be "Delight" and "Fun"
But it sucks and it's lame.
(It claims to be "Delight" and "Fun")
(But it sucks and it's lame.)

Damn, I regret buying this crap game.
(This crap game)
I've just wasted my money once again.
(Once again)

They should give me a refund.
This thing is just the worst.
I'm sure they'll think again,
When they're buying another game.
(Oh, man)
Damned game.
(Damned game.)
Damned game.
Fan of Transformers, Shmups and Anime-styled Girls. You're teamed up with the right pilot!
Bringing you shmup reviews with humorous criticism.

STG Wikias: Thunder Force Wiki - Wikiheart Exelica - Ginga Force Wiki

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