Prelude to the Apocalypse

[BulletMagnet]

I am on my eigth day without electricity, sleeping in a tent in my living room. I'm about to scream.

As awful as it must have been to be without power that long, in some cases the folks whose power managed to stay on ended up in even worse shape.

[BIL]

As awful as it must have been to be without power that long, in some cases the folks whose power managed to stay on ended up in even worse shape.

That is remarkable.

[orange808]

I thought Texans didn't need no ding dern big gubment. His name is Scott? Well....

Pay the fucking bill, fer freedumb! Seriously, Scott. Not even kidding. Pay the fucking bill. I bet you can get a loan. Don't tell me about the fucking interest. Once again, that's your fucking fault! It's all your own fault. You made this bed, sleep in it.

Fuck Ted Cruz. Fuck your dipshit state. You wanted freedom, you fucking got freedom. Freedumb isn't free, fuck stick.

The big gubment didn't stop da free merket! Nah ya gotta make a square deel like a reel Merican and pay yur dets.

[Sengoku Strider]

In other pending apocalypse news, 30% of Republicans still view QAnon favourably.

This is actually something I've been wondering about, especially as someone not on social media; now that Trump has both left office and thrown the Capitol rioters under the bus to save his own skin, what is "Q" even saying these days? What's supposed to happen now? Does he claim to still be embedded within the government under the new administration? Is #thestorm still on schedule? I mean, people are still following the account, apparently, so it must be saying something, even after all that's transpired...personally I'm waiting for somebody to figure out his true identity and sue his ass, forcing him to go Full Limbaugh (and Jones, and Trump, and...) and claim that everything he posted was obviously for entertainment purposes only.

Q wisely bailed right after the election, hasn't posted in months. Jim & Ron Watkins were bright enough to know they'd ridden that train as far as it was gonna go, perfect time to transition into grifts with their own names on them that they could profit from directly. It's been the few Q-world influencers who didn't run for the hills who've been guiding the rudderless ship since.

The inauguration hit, and it was a bleak day for them, a lot of people left the movement. They were so damn sure all those thousands of troops in DC were going to suddenly turn around and arrest Biden. But as Q had become an umbrella for every conspiracy theory under the sun, the new master narrative that popped up was an absorption of the sovereign citizen movement. Basically a goofy theory that in the late 1800s, America was bankrupt so it was sold to the City of London and its bankers. America ceased to be a republic and became a corporation, and all American citizens employees. So no president since Ulysses S. Grant has been a valid one. No sissy commie laws like women voting or the civil rights movement were legitimate. These clowns have tried some variation of this defence in courts for decades, leading to a sterling legal batting average of 0.00. No matter.

The original inauguration date in the US constitution was March 4th, back when everything had to be organized by people crossing a continent by stage coach. This was changed by the 20th amendment in 1933 (well after the supposed incorporation of America, but pay that no mind) because it was a long-ass wait that didn't make much sense in a world with planes, trains & automobiles. But of course, as we now know, that amendment was passed by a fake government.

So now, Trump the hero America needs, has voluntarily stepped into the shadows, allowing Biden the counterfeit president to show the American people just how awful and terrible his corporate socialist Chinese terrorist puppet Satanic communazi ideology is. Just when the nation is in despair and all hope seems lost, Trumpdalf will appear atop the hill on the sunrise of March 4th, with the loyal US military at his side. The deep state will be overthrown, ownership of the country taken back from London, the true and proper constitutional inauguration date observed, and Trump crowned as the 20th president of the restored American republic.

All debts cancelled, all stinky democrats executed on live TV, the immortal vampire Tom Hanks slain once and for all, peace and harmony reign throughout the cosmos.

Once that doesn't happen I figure they'll move things to July 4th.

[BulletMagnet]

Thanks for the update, always good to start one's day with a laugh. That being said...

Q wisely bailed right after the election, hasn't posted in months.

...now I get to worry that this will eventually turn out like the aftermath of the Brexit referendum; the scammers, when finally forced to put up or shut up, head for the hills, only to realize many months later "holy shit, the idiots still haven't caught on" and pop right back up to regain prominence as if nothing had happened.

[Sengoku Strider]

Thanks for the update, always good to start one's day with a laugh. That being said...

Q wisely bailed right after the election, hasn't posted in months.

...now I get to worry that this will eventually turn out like the aftermath of the Brexit referendum; the scammers, when finally forced to put up or shut up, head for the hills, only to realize many months later "holy shit, the idiots still haven't caught on" and pop right back up to regain prominence as if nothing had happened.

Fear not, they're all just placeholders until Trump arrives to share his love with you:



While it is not a fact, rather something seen on the spiritual level in someone's 'inner sight,' it's probably happening right now so keep an eye out for brave American soldiers heroically surrounding London to demand its surrender to the United States.

As for Q, he had to go dark to evade the all seeing football stadium eyes of the Ba'al worshipping deep state:



Fortunately, Q is no mere human but the name of a future-predicting quantum computing project from the future, so they knew it was coming ahead of time. Q will be back when the plan's tactical elements necessitate its resurfacing:



Always remember that. Time-travelling quantum computers don't make mistakes.

[BryanM]

That reminds me of how things like Jon Titor were what went viral in the early internet; I think you recently mentioned the hobbyist bent of the early adopters. There's little I've found more horrific than the... things youtube recommends to a fresh account. The internet was a much better pond back then.

Anyway. When they said "if we win the senate seats in Georgia you'll get those checks"... because I have a galaxy brain I was smart enough to know they didn't mean that literally like many simpletons took it. They meant it as a metaphor - sometime in April, maybe, $1,400, if you're very very lucky.

[rapoon]

As awful as it must have been to be without power that long, in some cases the folks whose power managed to stay on ended up in even worse shape.

It was -2 here last week. Here being Texas (not portland) where houses are designed to expel, not retain heat. All those batshit crazy bills I’ve seen are from some company called Griddy, with suspicious variable-rate plans likely targeting those who can’t get a reasonable plan elsewhere due to their credit. Anyways, probably the most interesting thing to arise out of the clusterfuck was half the state (since we’re now pretty much a 50/50 red-blue split) pointing at the other half, blaming the near collapse of the grid on our colossal wind farms, which is unequivocal gibberish but a point for another time.

[BIL]

This is probably late, and useless, but when I saw BulletMagnet's post, I was half-expecting some poor fuckers carbon monoxiding themselves in their sleep via indoor generator. It's a sadly frequent occurrence following hurricanes in the Caribbean, and from a quick google, seems we're not alone in that social phenomenon.

Anyway, for all shumps friends who find themselves in such straits, keep that shit outside and well away from your house/garage.

Crazy shit re: this Griddy outfit (and several bigger fish further up the chain). Direct debits are questionable at the best of times, IMO, and stories of outlandish freak bills aren't uncommon, but this is just some unbridled 9000BPH fiscal assrape via floor-bolted vibrator. Following over me fish and chips (that is "fish and Freedom Fries" ) with morbid interest.

[Sengoku Strider]

Sources indicating the US military has invaded the underworld beneath Washington DC to cut off Obama's source of eldritch power. Thoughts & prayers to any patriots in the DC area facing the potential apocalypse.





Praying the troops make it back with some sweet loot and enough XP to have levelled up a couple of times.

[BIL]

Sounds like a trap, I never trust a fucking skeleton

[rapoon]

won't lie, kinda wish cthulhu would rise from his primordial depths in the pacific, dong & balls flailing, and lay waste to the nearest megalopolis <--- that's a fun word.

[Sengoku Strider]

won't lie, kinda wish cthulhu would rise from his primordial depths in the pacific, dong & balls flailing, and lay waste to the nearest megalopolis

You'll never guess what's under this cloth.

Spoiler

[BryanM]

On the topic of mythologizing human beings, here's one that'll convince you it is indeed the worst thing (or the best thing, if you're an upside down person): Erwin Schrödinger as a catgirl in a videogame.

I feel bad enough about the isekai about the dead horses being reincarnated as schoolgirls who are forced to run laps for the amusement of humans for all eternity. Let the dead be what they were.

skeleton.gif

Oi this game of footsie. Why didn't they just use my skeleton busting strategy: walk up to the skeleton and hit it. They die in one hit! If you dodge the bones not thrown, you'll be dodging all day.

[BIL]

Sources tell me the whole thing was kayfabe. Everyone knows that particular calciferous cunt's real trump card is his no-selling Berumondo's chair shot:

Spoiler

[GaijinPunch]

Goodbye to the dollar... wtf. It's not killing it but it has fared FAR better than the 2008 fist fuck.

[BryanM]

Somewhere between 20% to 40% of all dollars ever printed were created last year. And of course inflation wasn't anywhere close to that since very little of it went to a pleb that'd actually use it to buy meat instead of rice or flour.

Such as this metaphorical $1,400 we've all been told so much about.

[Sengoku Strider]

QAnon answered them, “Take off the gold earrings that your wives, your sons and your daughters are wearing, and bring them to me.” So all the people took off their earrings and brought them to QAnon. He took what they handed him and made it into an idol cast in the shape of a Trump, fashioning it with a tool. Then they said, “This is your god, Real America™, who brought you up out of Walmart."

When QAnon saw this, he built an altar in front of the Trump and announced, “Tomorrow there will be a Conservative Political Action Conference to the Lord.” So the next day the people rose early and sacrificed burnt offerings and presented fellowship offerings. Afterward they sat down to eat and drink and got up to indulge in revelry.



https://twitter.com/WilliamTurton/statu ... 67169?s=20

Super not a cult tho. Now, back to searching for hidden heretical symbolism in the pattern on Obama's socks. It's always where you least expect it.

[BIL]

That image snapping into my browser was legit the best horror cinema of the decade. Between the grotesque form's blank stare, forward cant, and lack of trousers, plus the bald guy's uneven footing as the other man grabs the thing's sleeve, it looks like the split-second before some monstrous divine sodomy.

[Mischief Maker]

No pants AND holding a fairy princess wand!

[BryanM]

CPAAAAC.

We're getting closer to the point of literally that Onion video where they kill a gay marine at the RNC.

[Sengoku Strider]

CPAAAAC.

We're getting closer to the point of literally that Onion video where they kill a gay marine at the RNC.

"I'm sorry miss, we know you have your big conference today but we're sold out of everything else, we only have eyeshadow in firehose form."

[Mischief Maker]

I still think it's hilarious that the dude sets things up in the gentle way you would with a room full of bratty kindergartners, but quickly hands the chick the mic to actually say the line about wearing masks that he knows is gonna trigger them. Gotta love that terrified two-handed grip she's taking on the mic just to tell a room full of middle-aged people to use basic hygiene.



BONUS RESPONSIBLE GUN OWNERSHIP BY ELECTED REPUBLICAN:



If her restaurant stores its pork as responsibly as she stores her shotgun... I guess it makes sense her restaurant gave dozens of people bloody diarrhea.

Spoiler

[orange808]

If there's a natural disaster, will Shooters Grill beg for aid? Yuppers.

[GaijinPunch]

Somewhere between 20% to 40% of all dollars ever printed were created last year. And of course inflation wasn't anywhere close to that since very little of it went to a pleb that'd actually use it to buy meat instead of rice or flour.

Such as this metaphorical $1,400 we've all been told so much about.

Other currencies as well though. It's not like value is gonna get cut in half.

[orange808]

Poor Biden. It's a miracle he can even sit upright and drink soup! The GOP opposition is just too strong. The filibuster is a rule thingy! Filibuster, ball placement "behind the line" after a foul, and paying taxes into "free parking" are absolutely **the law**, because: reasons.

[BryanM]

They do always astonish me with their "you gotta follow the rules" fetish, ignoring how such rules are arbitrary. Only strictly enforced when asked to help out those without power, of course. (The conservative liberals' hatred of the government, yet love of the military and police (the executive arm of the government) is also a completely baffling phenomenon. I'm beginning to suspect these humans... these humans don't even know what they believe.)

But more importantly, you don't pay your taxes into the free parking fund. That isn't a real rule, and only helps stretch out the length of a game into misery. Follow the example set by the libs: read the rulebook, the game will zoom by, end the game when someone goes bankrupt and the winner is the guy with the most money after mortgaging all their assets. It'll be the first game of monopoly in your life where no one's yelling at anyone else. (I'm kidding, somebody will definitely fuck it up for everyone else. That's the reason to play it in the first place!)

Was rewatching donoteat's video on one of Elon Musk's transportation scams. The concept of AM/FM seems extendable to everything, pretty much. We live in a world of Actual Machines, but often make policy based on Fucking Magic. "The truth is always given in a bored monotone."

[orange808]

But more importantly, you don't pay your taxes into the free parking fund. That isn't a real rule, and only helps stretch out the length of a game into misery. Follow the example set by the libs: read the rulebook, the game will zoom by, end the game when someone goes bankrupt and the winner is the guy with the most money after mortgaging all their assets. It'll be the first game of monopoly in your life where no one's yelling at anyone else. (I'm kidding, somebody will definitely fuck it up for everyone else. That's the reason to play it in the first place!)

Well, yes. That's the joke. Same as the fact that all fouls allow the other player to place the cue ball anywhere on the table afterwards. People use house rules that aren't technically part of the game.

As for Monopoly, I stopped playing with my family and friends in grade school. Trades were banned. (At least trades with me.) Even my parents would get testy.

I also got frustrated with people choosing where to give up and "go bankrupt", when they had options to sell buildings and mortgage property. The dice and probability should pick the winner, there. Got tired of hearing I cheat, because I waited to build until the board favored me. You don't have to wait until your turn to build. (Not that hard to figure out that a mess of opponents about seven spaces from your property is favorable odds. Picture the dice in your head.) Got tired of hearing we can make extra houses out of other things around the house and it wasn't fair to downgrade my hotels to monopolise the houses. There is limited supply of buildings. You absolutely do sell/trade Boardwalk to the person with Park Place if you know you can monopolise the houses--and you advise them about the money making potential when you offer (knowing you'll never allow it).

I should have been a Republican.

[BryanM]

Okay, I give up researching Q. Spend even one minute reading this shit and tell me it makes you want to continue living more or equal to what you did one minute before. I'm not reading even the first paragraph of any of their bibles, such as QAnon: An Invitation to Great Awakening. Fuck that. Fuuuuuuuuck that.

Jesus christ. It was literally just a random fuckwad poster (like Jon Titor, but much less interesting) posting the most bland cookie cutter rightwing stuff you can find anywhere... that gained traction thanks to lazy Youtube personalities needing some content to fill time. To think one of the greatest virtues of humanity, laziness, could have led to such worthless ends.

You know who isn't a lazy youtuber? -> This guy <- who spent over 400 hours of his life to furnish a 6 hour long Tokimeki Memorial review.

This is now the Tokimeki Memorial Apocalypse thread.

Got tired of hearing we can make extra houses out of other things around the house and it wasn't fair to downgrade my hotels to monopolise the houses. There is limited supply of buildings. You absolutely do sell/trade Boardwalk to the person with Park Place if you know you can monopolise the houses--and you advise them about the money making potential when you offer (knowing you'll never allow it).

This is beautiful and completely in tune with the spirit of the game.

o7

[BulletMagnet]

The US Chamber of Commerce continues, as ever, to distinguish itself:

"We do not believe it is appropriate to judge members of Congress solely based on their votes on the electoral certification. There is a meaningful difference between a member of Congress who voted no on the question of certifying the votes of certain states and those who engaged and continue to engage in repeated actions that undermine the legitimacy of our elections and institutions."

"For example, casting a vote is different than organizing the rally of January 6th or continuing to push debunked conspiracy theories. We will take into consideration actions such as these and future conduct that erodes our democratic institutions."

ProTip: When you refuse to certify an election because you want to keep claiming, against all available evidence, that said election was "stolen" or "plagued by irregularities" or otherwise somehow illegitimate, and thus that the present government's existence is itself an unprecedented subversion of the people's will, then you're pushing debunked conspiracy theories with the explicit aim of undermining institutional legitimacy and eroding democratic institutions.

But screw all that; not only are our ever-enlightened titans of industry going to keep the campaign donations to these cocksucking plutocrats coming, they also flatly refuse to feel even a little bit guilty about it. Keep those "pro-business" votes coming, folks!