When it comes to bad shooters, I'm not gonna write novels or poetry. I'm here to criticize them, and this game is one of them. I'm talking Super Mega Space Blaster Special Turbo.
Not as Mega as you can imagine.
In the Mega SHIP SELECTOR Screen, you and your friend can select their ship and the game mode they want to play. In this menu you can also buy ships once you've got the money and even change the voice of the announcer.
Asteroids meets SDI...in Kiddie-style.
Protect Mother is the first game mode available for either 1 or 2 players. The objective here is to protect the Mothership, which is the base. This is where the game turns evokes the Defensive halves of SDI/Global Defense as your priority is to both you and the base survive as long as you can while you destroy the Asteroids, Missiles and Bombs thrown against you. In this mode, the game will provide support by deploying cannons and giving you rewards which can be Shields, Ammo or Weapons depending on which button is pressed. This is the only mode where the player can perform combos by destroying multiple enemies quickly. Also, you can't do the Asteroids screen-warping trick of going up and reappear on the bottom of the screen because the edges are lethal, resulting on instant death even if you have a shield or not.
Asteroids: Newgrounds Edition.
Survival is the second 1 Player only mode of the game. This ones omits the "Base Defense" thing, the combo system and its rewarding feature, focusing the gameplay in survive as much as you can keep the fuel bar as full as possible. To do that you can pick crystal shards and fuel tankers dropped by destroyed enemies. Using either Brake or Boost depletes the fuel bar. Going "Spend the ammo wisely" is out of the question since this mode makes your ship to fire non-stop, so picking the Rapid Fire or the Laser could be out of the question because they consume your ammo faster, but guess what? you'll need them for increase your rate of fire at least for a while. The best way to survive it a little longer is to have a ship with large ammo and fuel capacities.
Like in Protect Mother, the edges of the screen are lethal in this mode.
"Save" is right, but there's no "Colony" to save.
Save The Colony is the third and last 1 player only mode of the game. The title is deceiving since there's no space colonies in this mode. The main objective of this mode is to rescue all the 33 Blastronauts that appear floating in space or held prisoners in spaceships. This is the only mode where you are allowed to warp across the screen.
The gameplay is basically a clone of Atari's Asteroids adapted to the twin-stick format as most of the ships have rotating cannons that are aimed with the right analog stick. This is good for aim at multiple targets while you concentrate on those in front of you. The only problem that i have is the "don't touch the edges or you'll die" thing that only kills the fun factor of this type of games. For a "Base defense" game, anyone could expect to have multiple lives, at least the basic "Three lives and you're out", but the game doesn't give you that. If you die once you'll have to start all over again. Also, the shield suffers the same problem as in AlienCruise and Super Hydorah as we're given a 1-hit and its gone type of shield. Yeah, as useful as a grandma in a football match. There's even more problems when the ammo runs out. Your basic shots can ran out of ammo leaving you defenseless in any mode, the weapons are temporary and to make things worse, in "Protect Mother" and "Survival" modes, the speed bar overheats even on breaking, which contrast with the speed control liberties from the original Asteroids.
There's two extra modes meant for two players which are the "One Bullet" mode, which is a VS fight with only one bullet to fire, and a variation of Protect Mother mode with a Twinkle Star Sprites-styled punishment system.
How many challenges you're gonna unlock today?
Once you've selected your game mode you'll be on the Loading/Ready screen where you can see what Challenges and Turbo Challenges are next on the list, also there's a Mini-Shop which is locked until you buy it in the Shop on the Title Screen.
In any case, the Mini-Shop allows you to buy Bombs, Shields or Protectors to start the game a little more equipped than normal. You can also see the list of weapons and upgrades of the game.
This is the list of weapons and items of this game.
BIGSHOT: The Powered up version of your regular shot. Fires a large bullet that causes more damages.
BOOMSHOT: The Grenade weapon. Fires a purple bullet that explodes on impact.
BOUNCESHOT: The Rebound type. Fires bullets that bounce on the edges of the screen until they hit an Asteroid or a Missile.
HOMERS: The Homing Missile that supposed to lock on enemies but they seem to go on random directions. D'oh.
LASER: Rather than being the energy beam weapon, it is a short ranged lightsaber weapon like the Aryustailm's "Sword" from Blazing Star.
MAGNET: An upgrade for the ship that allows you to absorb the nearby bullets, coins and other items.
MINES: Your ship lays a mine after tapping the fire button.
MIRRORSHOT: The Tailgun of the game as it has a back shot useful against enemies behind you.
MULTISHOT: The Shotgun type. Fires a short ranged 7 way spread shot.
PROTECTORS: 8 Orbs that surround your ship as temporary protection since a bullet or an enemy can destroy one of them.
RAPID FIRE: The "Machine Gun" upgrade. Turns your regular constant button tapping with an autofire by holding the fire button.
SHIELD: A Force Field that protects your ship.
The Challenges are special objectives that require certain conditions to achieve, each one of them gives you credits to spend. At first you don't know what the game will throw at you, so lemme make you the list of Challenges:
01.- Asteroids Smashteroids (1 Credit): Destroy 10 asteroids in 10 seconds without using big-bombs.
02.- Enemies Smenemies (1 Credit): Destroy 20 enemies (including asteroids) in 10 seconds without using big-bombs.
03.- Guns Guns Guns (1 Credit): Collect and use 3 different weapons without being destroyed.
04.- Shielded (2 Credits): Keep a shield for 30 seconds.
05.- Enemies Only (2 Credits): Destroy 6 enemies in 10 seconds without using big-bombs.
06.- Big-bomb Go Boom (2 Credits): Destroy 25 enemies (including asteroids) with a single big-bomb.
07.- Stayin' Alive (3 Credits): Survive for 2 minutes in any mode without re-launching.
08.- Mother Matters (3 Credits): In "Protect Mother" mode preven the mothership from taking damage for 30 seconds.
09.- More Enemies Only (3 Credits): Destroy 10 enemies in 12 seconds without using big-bombs.
10.- Bigshot (4 Credits): Destroy 3 enemies with a single bigshot.
11.- Turbo Forever (4 Credits): Survive 1 minute whilst holding the boost button.
12.- Big Combo (4 Credits): Get a combo of 30 without using big-bombs in "Protect Mother" mode.
13.- Survive Survival (4 Credits): Survive for 3 minutes in survival mode without relaunching.
14.- A Snail Pace (4 Credits): Survive 1 minute whilst holding the boost button.
15.- Hi-score (4 Credits): Achieve a score of 20,000 in any mode.
16.- Mother Must Not Be Harmed (5 Credits): In "Protect Mother" mode prevent the mothership from taking damage for 1 minute.
17.- Mega Shielded (5 Credits): Keep a shield for 2 minutes!
18.- Mega Combo (5 Credits): Get a combo of 100 in "protect mother" mode without using big-bombs
19.- Armed To The Teeth (5 Credits): Collect and use 9 different weapons without being destroyed.
20.- I'm A Survivor (5 Credits): Survive for 5 minutes in any mode without relaunching.
21.- Super Mega Score Special (5 Credits): Achieve a score of 30,000 in survival mode and meet the boss.
Completing all of them will reveal the message "Good Work pilot!" and unlock the "Challenge Master" achievement.
Turbo Challenges are very similar to the regular Challenges, but these ones are focused on speed and short time.
01.- Survivor (1 Credit): Save 1 survivor in "Save The Colony" mode.
02.- Prisoner Number 1 (1 Credit): Destroy a prison ship and free a survivor in "Save The Colony" mode.
03.- A Bullet for a Big-Bullet (1 Credit): Take out an enemy projectile with a bigshot.
04.- A Constant Speed (2 Credits): Keep the space blaster moving without braking or boosting for 1 minute in "Save The Colony" mode.
05.- Jailbreak (2 Credits): Destroy 3 prison ships in "Save The Colony" mode.
06.- Weapons Silence (2 Credits): Don't shoot, use a laser or use a big-bomb for 1 minute in "Save The Colony" mode.
07.- Survivor Gathering (3 Credits): Save 10 survivors in "Save The Colony" mode without losing a survivor.
08.- Protected (3 Credits): Unlock the mini-shop, buy protectors at the start of a game and keep all of them for 1 minute in "Protect Mother" mode.
09.- Quick Save (3 Credits): Save 3 survivors in 15 seconds without losing any survivor in "Save The Colony" mode.
10.- Laser Power (4 Credits): Upgrade the laser and use it to take out 6 enemy projectiles in 12 seconds.
11.- Lying in Wait (4 Credits): Destroy 100 enemes including asteroids whilst stationary in "Save The Colony" mode.
12.- Fuel Go Boom (4 Credits): Unlock the fuel tanker, run your ship down to below 10% fuel in "Survival" mode then blow up the fuel taner and destroy at least 20 enemies including asteroids.
13.- Prison-Break (4 Credits): Destroy 6 prison ships in "Save The Colony" mode.
14.- Protected from the Start (4 Credits): Buy protectors at the start of a game and keep all of them for 2 minutes in "Protect Mother" mode.
15.- Survivor Party (4 Credits): Save 15 survivors in "Save The Colony" mode without losing a survivor.
16.- Peaceful Survival (5 Credits): Save 8 survivors without shooting, using a laser or a big-bomb in "Save The Colony" mode.
17.- Just The Right Speed (5 Credits): Keep the space blaster moving without braking or boosting for 3 minutes in "Save The Colony" mode.
18.- Survivor Rally (5 Credits): Save 20 survivors in "Save The Colony" mode without losing a survivor.
19.- One Quick Location (5 Credits): Destroy 100 enemies including asteroids whilst stationary in "Save The Colony" mode.
20.- Super Mega Protected (5 Credits): Buy protectors at the start of the game and keep all of them for 3 minutes in "Protect Mother" mode.
21.- Colony Saved (5 Credits): Defeat the boss and save all 33 survivors in "Save The Colony" mode.
Got all the Turbo Challenges?, You'll get a "Good Work pilot!" and the achievement "Turbo Challenge Master".
Space Missions are a different category of objectives that slightly differ from Challenges and Turbo Challenges. The first 9 of them are unlocked by buying a specific ship, completing all the Challenges and reaching a certain score with a specific ship.
01.- Gobuki: Unlocked Gobuki ( space blaster 2 ).
02.- Lunavi: Unlocked Lunavi ( space blaster 3 ).
03.- Mantis: Unlocked Mantis ( space blaster 4 ).
04.- Weevil: Unlocked Weevil ( space blaster 5 ).
05.- Cherub: Unlocked Cherub ( space blaster 6 ).
06.- Mozi: Unlocked Mozi ( space blaster 7 ).
07.- Hornet: Unlocked Hornet ( space blaster 8 ).
08.- Diptera: Unlocked Diptera ( space blaster 9 ).
09.- Moon-Wraith: Unlocked Moon-Wraith ( space blaster 10 ).
10.- Challenged (1 Credit): Completed a challenge.
11.- Challenger (3 Credits): Completed 10 challenges.
12.- Challenge Master (5 Credits): Completed all challenges.
13.- Nibula 15k (4 Credits): Achieve a score of 15,000 in any mode with Nibula.
14.- Gobuki 20k (4 Credits): Achieve a score of 20,000 in any mode with Gobuki.
15.- Lunavi 25k (4 Credits): Achieve a score of 25,000 in any mode with Lunavi.
16.- Mantis 30k (5 Credits): Achieve a score of 30,000 in any mode with Mantis.
17.- Weevil 35k (5 Credits): Achieve a score of 35,000 in any mode with Weevil.
18.- Cherub 40k (5 Credits): Achieve a score of 40,000 in any mode with Cherub.
19.- Mozi 50k (5 Credits): Achieve a score of 50,000 in any mode with Mozi.
20.- Hornet 60k (5 Credits): Achieve a score of 60,000 in any mode with with Hornet.
21.- Diptera 75k (5 Credits): Achieve a score of 75,000 in any mode with with Diptera.
22.- Moon-Wraith 100k (10 Credits): Achieve a score of 100,000 in any mode with with Moon-Wraith.
23.- Super Mega Pilot (10 Credits): Completed all other space missions.
Clearing all of the Space Missions will unlock the "Mission Master" achievement.
The Kiddie's Corner Play-battle set. Each sold separately.
The main Shop available in the title screen allows you to buy upgrades for your weapons, add a new song to the game and adds a very useful item: Warp Engine, enabling the ability of warping through the edges of the screen without dying when you play in Protect Mother or Survival Modes.
This boss was inspired by a baby's crib rattle.
Graphically, it feels like if we were watching a flash game of a Newgrounds-like website, as we have these simple drawings and cheap animations that makes me think the game's budget was from $30 or less as it looks like the cheap project that someone did during his lunch break at the office. Also, this is one of those shmups where the whole game takes place in space. Just black background, stars and nothing else, not even a planetary stage or an orbit stage to break the monotony. Just the space clouds are the only thing that changes, but that's only noticed by an well observing gamer, otherwise, it passes without being noticed. It's basically the same thing as in Xenoraid.
Look, I've made these ships based on my 3-year old brother's drawings. Let's put this in the game!
The ship design is lame, like if it was designed by toddlers. The best examples of these are the Lunavi, Moon-Wraith, Shuriken and the X-Blaster which are basically 3-year old renditions of the F-16 Fighting Falcon, the SU-47 Berkut, the V-22 Osprey and the X-Wing from Star Wars, not to mention the circular space station boss with a smile that looks like a baby crib hanging rattle. As drawings, they're terrible from any point of view, but for a parent is cute because it was drawn by his/her baby child. These game designs are as bad as the drawings of a 3-year old toddler, the only problem is that Ste Wilson, the character designer who made the ships and enemies IS NOT THREE. If he was working on a more professional company, his designs will be considered as immature at the point of being insulting enough to get him fired.
The music is maybe the only good thing of this game, as we have a couple of songs from a Tangerine Dream styled song, Synth-pop paces with progressive-techno beats that evokes the style of Kraftwerk (Mostly Computerwelt / Computer World and Die Mensch-Machine / The Man-Machine). Although they are not memorable, but not forgettable and unenjoyable either, they're quite good enough to listen them for a while ignoring the gameplay. The voices are a negative point in the sound department since they're just a bunch of lifeless Loquendo-like voices that sound annoying, along with those of the Blastronauts.
SUPER MEGA SPACE CURIOISITIES SPECIAL FUN FACTS
- The extra large title is a pun on the upgrading of fighting games like Super Street Fighter II Turbo and Fatal Fury Special.
- You're gonna need 225 Coins to get everything in the Shop and 304 for every ship, giving a staggering total of 529 coins.
- The ship name Cherub comes from the unearthly beings who directly attend to God, according to Abrahamic religions. The numerous depictions of cherubim assign to them many different roles, such as protecting the entrance of the Garden of Eden.
- "Gobuki" is a japanese surname.
- The name Diptera means "Double Winged" or "Two Wings".
- The ship name Shuriken comes from the Japanese concealed weapon that was used as a hidden dagger or "Metsubushi" to distract or misdirect, commonly known as Throwing Stars or Ninja Stars. Shuriken means "Hidden Hand Blade".
- The name "Scarab" has multiple uses and meanings, like the popular amulets and impression seals in Ancient Egypt, a light aircraft from 1932, the NATO name for the Russian OTR-21 Tochka ballistic missile. many comic book characters, and even the Covenant mechanical walker from the Halo franchise.
- With the exceptions of Mozi, Diptera, Moon-Wraith and X-Blaster, all the other ships uses 6 letters on their names.
- The game has a caligraphy error in one of the indicators saying "Tiime" instead of time.
- In the Turbo Mission list, Prisoner Number 1 is listed as 3 instead of 2.
- The achievement name "Rise from Your Grave" is a reference to Zeus at the beginning of Altered Beast and Altered Beast: Guardian of the Realms.
- "Stayin' Alive" refers to the famous disco song from the Bee-Gee's.
Don't buy this game, better save yourself and your money. Super Mega Space Blaster Special Turbo is a Super Mega Space Waste of a game that has nothing Special about it. This is just dumb and doesn't deserves to be on a console store or Steam.
This game looks and feels more like a free-to-play flash game that you'd find on Newgrounds rather than a commercial game that you've purchased for 5 dollars. Even for 5 bucks, the failure on the equation "Quality-Price" of this game along with its maturity in design is insulting enough for any intelligent lifeform on Earth and anywhere else in the Universe regardless of their age. I'd hate to be injured or partially disintegrated and hear that it was because I lived on the same planet where the game designers were when Specia, the Galaxy Federation, the Ver'mith and the Bydo Empire joined forces and unleashed a laser strike on Earth.
The worst part is for me, your entrusted Shmup reviewer Sturmvogel Prime. Because I'll be reviewing these atrocities, and those still to come just to keep you and your wallet safe. Y'know, someone needs to do the job.
To any player, better stay away of this game unless you want to see your family, friends or even your girlfriend with a "What the hell" face.
Also, your console and/or PC might have a very important appointment with a sledgehammer: "I'd rather be destroyed than having this game" would be THAT appointment.
Your girlfriend's expression when she says
"¿ISN'T THAT GAME TOO CHILDISH FOR A MAN LIKE YOU?"