Movies you've just watched

[emphatic]

I haven't enjoyed a single movie that came out this year. Haven't seen Rambo though.

Seen JOKER?

[Steamflogger Boss]

I haven't enjoyed a single movie that came out this year. Haven't seen Rambo though.

Seen JOKER?

Oh right. Yeah it was solid.


Midsommar was this year too. Damn it.

Edit: gonna have to see Parasite.

[xxx1993]

I haven't enjoyed a single movie that came out this year. Haven't seen Rambo though.

What? Then that means you haven't enjoyed Avengers: Endgame? John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum? Godzilla: King of the Monsters?

[Steamflogger Boss]

I haven't enjoyed a single movie that came out this year. Haven't seen Rambo though.

What? Then that means you haven't enjoyed Avengers: Endgame? John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum? Godzilla: King of the Monsters?

I mentioned two I enjoyed after that post.

But to answer your question on these movies: never watching, okay but the worst one yet, haven't seen.

[xxx1993]

I can think of others I've seen this year I've taken a liking to. How about Angel Has Fallen or Shaft?

[BIL]

I thought the original John Wick was serviceable Super Gunman Action, which turned out to be its downfall - when the utter cunt who killed that poor little dog was dispatched in the same clinical Mozambique Drillin' way as Random Henchman #3452. Two in the chest and one in the head? More like two in the knees and one in the nuts! I was surprised it got sequels, and seemingly well-regarded ones at that, and have meant to try them out. I... hnnng, I suppose I'll... download 'em, or some shit... fuck! I don't wanna lift my hand to click the bookmark. Some weekends I just can't be arsed, xxx1993! I'll give 'em a shot on your recommendation though.

Also this was worth it, regardless. "WHAT'S NEXT?!" *BLAM* "JESUS!"

(Alfie Allen is a superb younger actor btw. why do my posts keep coming back to GOT? Oh yeah because I H&FAP 2 IT MOTHERFUCKER )

---

Oh nice. Following in the estimable footsteps of Ghostbusters: Fellas Please Bust All Over My Face, The Last Johnson: Space Adam Lanza Is Pegged Once Again and Alien: Pound Me Mit Your Wienerschnitzel Bruder, recent hit Terminator: FUTURE DYKEFORCE vs SUPER PRESIDENTE has fulfilled its purpose. Thanks, Jimmy C!

[xxx1993]

I think John Wick 2 and 3 are just as good as the original, actually. None of the John Wick movies have been bad.

[BIL]

God I'm satisfied. T2 receives a 78/22 on the Movie Entertainments to Inescapable Despair Of Man gauge (that's pretty good!), just for having a scene of AHNULD throwing and shoving multiple humans about instead of smashing their skulls, crushing their throats, punching their hearts out, etc. Because he was ordered to avoid lethal force.

HCB+P (OVERHEAD OK)

Spoiler

^ Dats gotta hoit! What, what the...?!

ZOOM, ENHANCE (■｀W´■)

Spoiler

A blow to the head so severe, it retroactively made his gramps shit his pants on his and grandma's first date - subsequently averting their union, and spontaneously altering his genetic makeup in the present! But it didn't kill him!

Meanwhile in Dank Balls, the deadliest terminator evar SUPER PRESIDENTE has an overpowered CYBER BIEBER, who it's just been established is as vulnerable to stabbing as anyone, in his grip and - *shove*

I'm a simple chap but THESE CUNTS ARE RUINING IT FOR ME (・｀W´・)

Points docked for being the Rust in Peace to T1's Peace Sells, achieving technical ecstasy at the expense of blunt skull-shattering force. AHNULD wees autocannon fire spectacularly onto massed cops, making them say GO GO GO and BAH GAWD - but he is on a Justice Shot Only run, so it can't help feeling a bit hollow next to the utter horror of T1's police station massacre, in which an unstoppable force meets multiple soft, bleeding objects.

HOWEVER that shit with the helicopter and later CHICKEN TRUCK vs BIG RIG is the stuff of cheese legend. It also kneecaps Tim Miller's retarded commentary on John being a random "chosen one" by having him demonstrate impressive restraint and humanity for an angry preteen boy gifted his own personal AHNULD, a walking weapon of mass convenience store stickups. It's not much, but it's enough, particularly in the hyperreal world of B-cheese, and it makes Tim's movie look like the cynical dog shit it is. Because other than GETS DAD HIS MEDS and LOOKS OUT FOR BRO I do not know what in the fuck is special about Juanita, other than the movie battering me over the head with SHE COOL & GUD IN FUTURE. I take care of dad and bro too! I'm sure most of us do. It's probably some genetic imperative born of evolutionary biology. And I would be Random Fat Future Soldier Getting Plasma Bolt To The Chest In The Intro, AT MOST. I am not impressed.

I have to apologise, xxx1993! 3;< You were right, I kind of do hate this movie! As with a certain recent televisual Hindenburg, though, it's not the content but the spirit of lazy self-satisfaction in which it was delivered. Oh well. I'm going to mark an enormous stack of papers, like my dad used to when I were a lad and everyone was watching VIDEO NASTIES behind our parents' backs, and everyone assumed Terminator, Aliens and Predator et al were impossible to fuck up. Because how do you fuck up a cheeseburger?

That was the trust of a child.

[Sumez]

I'll never be able to understand why anyone enjoys the John Wick movies.

I haven't enjoyed a single movie that came out this year. Haven't seen Rambo though.

See Lighthouse

[Steamflogger Boss]

Looks like Terminator is bombing rather spectacularly at the box office.

[Xyga]

I'll never be able to understand why anyone enjoys the John Wick movies.

Bah, the first was a nice little action b-flick for the sake of it and nothing else, had they left it where it belongs. It made a meme also.

But that kind of film quickly falls under the category that is "perfect junk for the crowd that listens to club music and doesn't miss a F&F film"

So it received two odoriferous sequels, and probably frnchise shit more to come.

It's not even Hollywood, it's an old business that'd exist even without it, village idiots are a huge market.

[drauch]

It's an action film ya goons. People that love action like John Wick!

I've enjoyed them all, but with each sequel they're getting longer and trying to place more emphasis on this stupid little lore building with a network of hitmen with a call center ran by pin-up models that work on rotary phones and commodore 64s (seriously), and Laurence Fishburne's pigeon-rearing network of hobos. But still, as annoying as that's getting, it still features the crazy fast headshot action that I love and brutal shots to the head overkill.

Speaking of American Godzillas, I begrudgingly watched both a few weeks back. I abhorred them. Tard face Godzilla is such a loser. Wayyyyyyy too much emphasis on boring human drama. But w/e, I know those days are over. But the Criterion set just arrived! Huzzah!

[BIL]

^ oh yeah... I'd forgotten about the assassin cabal stuff. That was kinda corny too, though I took it in stride. Nice seeing Lester from The Wire again, whatever the occasion! Now I'm recalling the genuine murderous grieving fury Keanu summoned up in that chair, made me go "WTF Ted you rock " but then in the end he kinda bottled it.

...

TBH my idea of proportionate revenge for that film's crooks is kinda ott >_> I'm a strong proponent of the "duct tape & ball-peen" school for REVENGERAMA flicks

Most my interest in the sequels came from hearing they involved some of the same guys as The Punisher tv series, which I've not seen (a recurring theme for me) but definitely liked the fight scenes of. WARNING: Drive-by linking, may suck, but I thiiink these are the vids I was watching!

[drauch]

Oh yeah man, you're totally right with that. In JW II he dispatches a bad dude in the same boring way. It's kinda brutal in how cold and impersonal it is, but it's still just a single shot. I want something like what you posted (hadn't seen that, but now will! I unfortunately avoid too much new stuff) or this classic: Showdown in Little Tokyo spoilers!

[BIL]

Having overthought it a little ( ), I guess (going strictly on my hazy recollections of the first film) an esteemed professional like Wick killing someone out of anger pretty much is his balls-out ball-peen rampage. Not very exciting but it's not the character's nature. I could buy him possessing that white-hot rage while stewing on the matter, then instinctually returning to "normal" as he goes about the usual bustin a fuckin cap.

Kill List is genuinely quite good, I recommend it! Hybrid hitman/horror rabbit-hole hell-dive, homie gets intense. I also like its director Ben Wheatley's much artsier (some may say up its own ass ) A Field In England, sort of a Monty Python gone more overtly murderous than usual.

OPEN UP AND LET THE DEVIL IN


Bunch of jokers desert the English Civil War to dig for treasure in titular plot of land. Bad magic ensues. Minor, minor spoiler but good god damn, some its scenes just move me mayne Doesn't take itself too seriously, has lots of fun with its groundling batshittery. Great with (patient) friends! And beer!

[Vexorg]

The Lion King (2019 remake): **

The latest in the unending parade of unnecessary Disney live action remakes. Better than some of these (then again, Dumbo set a pretty low bar) but still nowhere near as good as the original. Cartoon talking animals are one thing, but trying to make realistic looking (sort of, some of the B-roll CGI is pretty janky) animals talk is another thing entirely, and just makes it look like someone did bad dub job on top of some David Attenborough documentary.

I would have given it two extra stars if Mufasa or Simba had eaten Zazu. Five if Simba had eaten Pumbaa.

[BIL]

Looks like Terminator is bombing rather spectacularly at the box office.

Every time I feel bad owing to my affections for Ahnuld, Hamilton and the first two films, I read some utter mouth-farting guff from Tim "If she got a kid, imma split his wig" Miller and hope he's eating out of a motherfucking dumpster by the end of the month.

[xxx1993]

I'm disappointed that Terminator: Dark Fate is bombing, honestly.

[BryanM]

"bombing"

Over 12 million sales its first weekend... the Nintendo Switch only sold 1.5 million in its first week. Maybe the investors are slightly unrealistic.

So ridiculous. If you or I cleared 25 to 50% profit on bets consistently we'd be thrilled. But if something doesn't clear +300% it's declared a "disappointment" by the suits. It's just like those Jimquisition rants on youtube.

I'll start to believe it when they actually lose money, a lot of money, for a change. That would be Bryan's definition of "a bomb". Not this pansy "oh no I have to wait six months to make +25% the monies" take from Mr.Burns.

[BIL]

I too am skeptical of the shambling Hollywood kusomachine's susceptibility to mortal concepts of damage, but it sounds like they really got it up the ass this time. A more compelling show than the flick, at any rate. It's like when LiquidMetalMan prises open an elevator and eats pointblank buckshot, stumbling back a bit. You know he DGAF but on some primal level it's amusing.

I should also say, I've no doubt a decent effort would've met the same fate. Modern big budget cinema = cunts, it's just how it is.

[GaijinPunch]

Dolemite (1975)
Watching this in prep for the new biopic on Netflix. This was a good airplane watch. As expected, very low effort on damn near everything, but what it does have going for it, it does well: style, soundtrack (to an extent), and the titular characters freestyle "rap" segments of which there's a few. Bonus points for now having a tie to EmperorIng's avatar, a shortcut to Harrison Ford from the Blaxploitation universe in the 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon game, and also spotting a sample that made it into A Tribe Called Quest's latest album.

You Were Never Really Here (2017)
Yikes. No idea what the people next to me on the plane though of me after watching this after Dolemite... at least if they peaked in on a few specific scenes. Sadly this one did not do that well despite its accolades. The way they present the PTSD-symptoms I found quite stress-inducing.

[Steamflogger Boss]

"bombing"

Over 12 million sales its first weekend... the Nintendo Switch only sold 1.5 million in its first week. Maybe the investors are slightly unrealistic.

So ridiculous. If you or I cleared 25 to 50% profit on bets consistently we'd be thrilled. But if something doesn't clear +300% it's declared a "disappointment" by the suits. It's just like those Jimquisition rants on youtube.

I'll start to believe it when they actually lose money, a lot of money, for a change. That would be Bryan's definition of "a bomb". Not this pansy "oh no I have to wait six months to make +25% the monies" take from Mr.Burns.

It's all perception as well as relative. I agree it is a bit silly, but movie standards are what they are.

I don't even think it's a bad movie tbh.

[Vexorg]

The other issue is that for a lot of movies these days the production budget does not include marketing costs. For example, John Carter grossed $284 million on a net production budget of around $264 million, but still lost Disney a huge amount of money because of the marketing costs for the film that put the production cost closer to $350 million. Since roughly half the gross receipts go to the theaters, that equates to a loss of around $200 million for Disney on the film. One estimate said that the film would have needed to earn $600 million to break even.

[Steamflogger Boss]

One estimate said that the film would have needed to earn $600 million to break even.

Which is beyond stupid and indicative of a problem imo. AAA gaming has a similar problem.

[drauch]

Welcome to Hollywood!

[BryanM]

And yet you'll find nothing but articles crowing about how Disney's $4.2 billion acquisition of Star Wars was a smart move that totally paid off, despite not quite breaking even yet on the thing. smh

Gotta give it to the mouse for keeping a positive spin on things and insisting on recouping that cash. Galaxy's Edge was maybe a bit overkill tho...

[GaijinPunch]

And yet you'll find nothing but articles crowing about how Disney's $4.2 billion acquisition of Star Wars was a smart move that totally paid off, despite not quite breaking even yet on the thing. smh

At what point do you think buying a massive movie franchise should start producing profits? It took 3 years to make the first film which at worst was expected. 3 years after that, they're above water counting only income from the films released thus far), with another film about to be out that will no doubt bring in half a bil at least. How is this a bad deal?

[BryanM]

3 years after that, they're above water counting only income from the films released thus far), with another film about to be out that will no doubt bring in half a bil at least.

Assuming Disney is a tyrant that illegally owned its own theaters and had 0% overhead, the four new films are at net -686 million so far. Assuming Disney exists in the real world and has to share some of the revenue with the theaters, they're at -2,384 million. Even with merchandising and sales from the older movies and spinoffs, there's mathematically no possibility that they've broken even yet.

[GaijinPunch]

If they shelled out 250 million a film they've still grossed what - 3 bil? This doesn't even mention licensing and all the other ways to make dough on the name. Much harder to calculate but a cumpany in the theme parks business has to keep bringing huge ass shit in (like massive star wars rides) to stay relevant. Not to mention the higher ups jizzing themselves having the star wars library in their streaming channel. I don't think they're too worried.

[Mischief Maker]

If there's one thing Sarah Connor chronicles got right that Terminators 2-6 got terribly wrong is that terminators aren't supposed to be superpowered wrestlers who are just a couple of slang lessons away from developing emotions and a sense of self, they're assassination machines that just barely come across as human enough to seem convincing in casual encounters:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-e0bWLFSeMI

Also it helps if your infiltration droids don't all look like Arnold.