Most ridiculous anti-shmup hogwash?

Zweihander · Post by **Zweihander** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 1:05 am

What's the worst or most ridiculous thing you've heard someone say? Here's my list...

(when i went to purchase Gradius V today, and the clerk said...)
"Why get... this... when you could get Halo?"

(when describing my favorite genre, manic shooters, to the clerk...)
"You mean like R-Type? R-Type was manic..."

(when explaining shoot-em-up and FPS were two different genres..)
"Times have changed, Halo is a shoot-em-up."

(on the subject of classic gameplay...)
"Yeah but ya see, 2-D scrolling games aren't made anymore."

...

...

Also, online conversation excerpt from the other day:

(AIM buddy commenting on screenshots of ESPgaluda)
"Oh, one of those lame 2-D shooters."

(same buddy, commenting on Rez screenshots..)
"That's Rez?? Lame, man.. I thought it was a music game."

...I've lost faith in the human brain. Anyone have equally ridiculous quotes to share?

Dale · Post by **Dale** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 1:22 am

Ater that Halo comment I probaly would of smacked the guy.I heard one guy say that all shmups were impossible to beat. I heard another person say that 2-D was dead. Other than that if you,ve ever watched G-4 some of the rubish you hear on X-play and Judgement day are pretty downwrite stupid. I youst to love X-play tell they gave metal slug 4and5 a bad score because they said it was getting old never watched it again. People really don,t know what there talking about nowadays. It,s just my opinion but if no more 3-D games were ever made I would,nt shed a tear.

Edge · Post by **Edge** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 1:33 am

This one is from shmup dev, a site dedicated to create shmups... Even if many there are only talking about making another asteroids clone and many haven't even heard of Gradius or R-Type.

"I think this discussion is trying to put play depth into a format where it doesn't exist. Flying side to side, always facing forward, always MOVING forward-- these things place extreme constraints on the things a player is able to do and on the depth of the interactions he's able to have with his enemies. Not to mention the fact of the extreme firepower typically available to the player. What's the point of coding a sophisticated AI for troops that are cut to ribbons with whips of pink plasma lightning before they're even on the screen?"

I also remember this one from another board:

"Man, shmups aren't dead for no reason. They were the most unoriginal gaming genre ever. All shmups play exactly the same and in all these years they haven't got any new ideas at all.

I have heard lots more, most are just pretty stupid though.

JBC · Post by **JBC** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 1:39 am

The good news is that children are impressionable and now every time my little-brother in law comes over he begs to play Gradius IV as soon as he gets in the door...

Parents... teach your kids about shmups.

GaijinPunch · Post by **GaijinPunch** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 1:44 am

I started to write an article on the benefits of only buying NTSC-J games. You basically just summed it up in your post, Zwei.

Randorama · Post by **Randorama** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 1:47 am

"What are all these discussions about gameplay?!Gameplay bad!"

"Omg this review on GigaWing 2 is stupid!!1!"

"Seriously, someone in space is going around in the Vic-Viper!"

Edge · Post by **Edge** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 2:03 am

Oh, there is one more that comes into my mind.

-"You won't become more hardcore or improve your scores by "hate-mongering" around, honestly..."

-"Beside that, looking down upon shabby material won't make anyone more hardcore, which is surely not the original purpose of this thread, i guess

"

Yeah, but you definately become "more hardcore" when you always "look down" on "shabby" posts of other users.

Zweihander · Post by **Zweihander** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 2:06 am

Forgot to mention, when I said 2-D scrollers were still made in Japan, he gave me they typical line...

"Welcome to America!"

...as though the gaming industry in this country is a good thing... >_> I occasionally say "welcome to america" when talking about the US gaming industry, but it's chock-full of sarcasm. This mofuck sounded fo' real.

Also:

(when I explained the concept of having no health bar, and just 3 lives...)
"Doesn't that idea just sound the least bit... retarded?"

GaijinPunch · Post by **GaijinPunch** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 4:32 am

Maybe I should finish up that article. Seriously, if you buy NTSC-J only games, you're almost always buying off the internet, or from stores in Japan. You never, and I mean never, hear bullshit from dipshit store clerks. I've only stepped into a Gamestop or Electronics Boutique once, and that was b/c I needed a cable.

Thunder Force · Post by **Thunder Force** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 4:33 am

anonymous wrote:"I think this discussion is trying to put play depth into a format where it doesn't exist. Flying side to side, always facing forward, always MOVING forward-- these things place extreme constraints on the things a player is able to do and on the depth of the interactions he's able to have"

What are such folks' thoughts on the depth of the game 'Go'?

Specineff · Post by **Specineff** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 4:37 am

"I think this discussion is trying to put play depth into a format where it doesn't exist. Flying side to side, always facing forward, always MOVING forward-- these things place extreme constraints on the things a player is able to do and on the depth of the interactions he's able to have with his enemies. Not to mention the fact of the extreme firepower typically available to the player. What's the point of coding a sophisticated AI for troops that are cut to ribbons with whips of pink plasma lightning before they're even on the screen?"

What's the point of programming AI routines for an FPS, if everybody ends up playing deathmatch anyway?

When compared to the interaction and AI of Shenmue and them crappy interactive FMV games and the exercise in frustration that many of them 128-bit, tessellated and bump-mapped wonders we have been offered, I'll take my 256-color, 8x8 sprites and 4 channel FM synth sound games, thank you very much.

Maybe routines like "approach ship, aim, fire bullet, retreat" must be truly sophisticated for Mr. Programmer there.

[/rant]

I recall someone telling me about my copy of Mars Matrix, "You know no one plays those games anymore?"

FatCobra · Post by **FatCobra** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 4:56 am

GaijinPunch wrote:Maybe I should finish up that article. Seriously, if you buy NTSC-J only games, you're almost always buying off the internet, or from stores in Japan. You never, and I mean never, hear bullshit from dipshit store clerks. I've only stepped into a Gamestop or Electronics Boutique once, and that was b/c I needed a cable.

Yeah, you should finish it, I wouldn't mind reading. While the people at my Gamestop/EB Games are nice, I really don't like going in there because they seem so "shady" and always begging you to buy more crap than you originally intended. I walked in one day to buy a replacement AV cable and the clerk asked me if I wanted to preorder Madden 200X. I told him in his face, "No, I do not want to order something that is part of EA's marketing scam." He said nothing after that.

I guess I'm getting old, the current gen and next-gen stuff really doesn't interest me and I've been mostly playing handheld stuff and older consoles. I wish I could import some PS2 or Saturn shmups, but the systems are prohibitly expensive for me right now.

Skyline · Post by **Skyline** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 8:04 am

(preorders Gradius V)
"...oookay...*weird look throughout the rest of the transaction*"

(picks up Gradius V)
"yeah...only you and some other guy preordered this. That's gotta say something."

or..

(picks up Alien Hominid)
"this game is 2D? Wow. *looks at back of case*...so what does it play like?"
"I've heard it plays like Metal Slug."
"...what's Metal Slug?"
*I bring up the Xbox MS3 box and show him*
"so....why don't you just get Metal Slug then?"
"I don't have an Xbox."
"They're only $100 for a used one."
"..."

I dunno.

Other than that, the people at EB/Gamestop/GameCrazy are usually nonchalant about the whole thing (someone buying a game, no big deal), or make comments about how great the genre is. A few have actually recommended other shooters that were in stock! Would have never picked up G.Darius if it weren't for that.

TWITCHDOCTOR · Post by **TWITCHDOCTOR** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 8:21 am

Hey,hey...hey.

Don't be so hard on game store clerks. I almost got hired at Game Crazy once!
I could just see it now...as read in Gamefaqs..." I was at my local Game Crazy, and, when I was buying Halo, the clerk also recommended Mobile Light Force I&II....I mean, what a fag!!! Nobody plays that shit any more!
I mean, this guy's in his 30's ...what does he know about gamming!?"

See?

Well, I'm off to bed now...bye.

Herr Schatten · Post by **Herr Schatten** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 8:49 am

Co-worker (while watching me play Mushihime Sama): "You play this? FOR FUN?"

Alpolio · Post by **Alpolio** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 9:15 am

Yeah, I've seen stuff like that at my local EB's. But the best was when the store manager was talking about Ikaruga to some teenagers. And they were saying that it couldn't compare to Halo 2. The manager knew me and asked my opinion of Halo 2. I turned and said, "Turok in a space suit."

WarpZone · Post by **WarpZone** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 9:23 am

Possibly offensive:

http://shmups.ytmnd.com/

So which one of you jokers made that?

~Kid Icarus~ · Post by **~Kid Icarus~** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 10:30 am

To even the thread out a bit, I once asked if by chance there were any copies of Gradius V left while in a Virgin Megastore and the clerk informed me that "No there wern't, but you should keep looking 'cos it's a f**king class game".

I was thinking to myself: "Oh right....respect".

Fighter17 · Post by **Fighter17** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 11:22 am

Oh god, as a 16 year old shmup fan, I always being making fun of playing shmups. "Those games are shit now, play Halo and you'll understand, fucker!" and "They don't make them anymore, play some new shit you jackass!" These comments makes me not play the current or next-gen stuff at all!

On the bright side, some of my friends remember shmups very well.

One Asian friend I know used to own a SNES, and one of his favorite games was R-Type III! "Good memorys R-Type III did to me, good memorys."

Then my other friend is a Nintnedo fanboy, but he too remember shmups very well. He's starting his SNES and NES collection, and I gave him a list of games to buy for the SNES (many shmups and many good games). His first shmup was Super Earth Defence Force, which we both love to play!

Now time to tell him about Gun-Nac for the NES, and Pardious!

Randorama · Post by **Randorama** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 11:46 am

Edge wrote:

Yeah, but you definately become "more hardcore" when you always "look down" on "shabby" posts of other users.

Ah, it's clear now, your aim is to be clueless, uh? You're doing definitely well!

GaijinPunch · Post by **GaijinPunch** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 12:01 pm

FatCobra wrote: Yeah, you should finish it, I wouldn't mind reading.

It was really hard to write w/o making it sound preachy, which I don't like to do (even though I do sometimes). I got some requests to write about collecting in Japan in general, so maybe I'll try to fuse the two together for one SUPER article... hopefully it won't drag on.

Edge · Post by **Edge** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 1:36 pm

WarpZone wrote:Possibly offensive:

http://shmups.ytmnd.com/

So which one of you jokers made that?

This made me laugh.

"DIE-ALL you fucking shoot'em uppers!
I-ALL -most forgot."

it's a poem.

@Rando:
Don't take everything so serious. I don't try aim to be hardcore or clueless or anything. I am on these forums because I like playing shmups and here I want to talk about them or exchange highscores. Maybe you have a really different opinion about what is the purpose of such a forum. You'd like it to be 100% informations. But honestly IF a thread or posts are just too stupid then I think the mods will take care of it.

I really don't want to insult you and I'd be way too lazy to argue with someone on the forums. That's a point where i agree with you: We won't become more hardcore or anything by always provoling us. But you have to admit that you were provoking me with that post.

I think you'd be ok if I say let's just quit this sarcasm against each other. I really respect you as just an user here with his own opinions and so I'd like you to just respect me. And even if we may have other opions or whatever. Just let the other person be.

I guess you agree with me that our "conflict" is really pointless.
So let's say peace and quit this nonsense.

And c'mon you have to admit that in this point I'm right.

mice · Post by **mice** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 1:38 pm

This one is from shmup dev, a site...

The subject of that thread was "intelligent shmups".
So I think you took that quote a bit out of context.

Asked for '1945 1&2', which apparently Strikers is named by play-it, for the PS2 at my local game store.
-"Isn't that a plane game", a standbyer said.

I tried coming up with an answer to that, but wasn't able to.

Edge · Post by **Edge** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 1:48 pm

mice wrote:
This one is from shmup dev, a site...
The subject of that thread was "intelligent shmups".
So I think you took that quote a bit out of context.

You think so?

I didn't mean to do so. The topic was indeed about intelligent shmups, but I think it doesn't change it's content(?)

I found most of the thread as well as the discussions about the competition pretty weird. Because on a site called shmup dev, I expected them to be just a little bit more enthusiastic about those games.

Blade · Post by **Blade** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 2:47 pm

Worst. Quote. Ever. (from a Gamestop Store Clerk)

"I don't play videogames actually. I just sell them."

Fucker.

captain ahar · Post by **captain ahar** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 3:10 pm

Herr Schatten wrote:Co-worker (while watching me play Mushihime Sama): "You play this? FOR FUN?"

priceless. i showed it to my brother, and while he doesn't play the genre, or even enjoy it to my knowledge, as an artist, he could appreciate the things it had/has to offer.

anyway, the best ones from my own experience:

-when i've gone to buy the few american releases we get (shiki, r-type, gradius, etc): the clerk inevitably makes it a point that i understand the kind of game i hold in my hands. "it's really short and simple, but if you know you enjoy that sort of thing..."<-said about shiki2

-also, at family functions my cousin and i get into "arguments"

the kid only plays xbox, and basically lives on xboxlive. we start talking about what "gameplay" is, and where it is best seen. oh, the fun.

i try and explain about action games that are actually fast, and he starts in on how fps's bring more to the table than shmups.

my thing is, since i play all kinds of games, i don't really get angry, but it is irritating to have an entire genre dismissed so easily... especially considering he has never played a shooter of the arcade variety...

Neon · Post by **Neon** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 3:32 pm

Anti-shmup sentiments?

Most of the shit here is just non-shmuppers ignorance (and ignorance != unintelligence). No, the stupidest things are uttered by shooter fans themselves.

"I'm totally boycotting Ibara because the graphics aren't true-low-res."

"Yeah, I pirate games, so what?"

"I'm boycotting Game X because it's on Console Y."

captain ahar · Post by **captain ahar** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 3:39 pm

Neon wrote:Anti-shmup sentiments?

Most of the shit here is just non-shmuppers ignorance (and ignorance != unintelligence).

uhh, and? hating on these games out of ignorance is still hating...

edit: to explain, it sounds like you're trying to say we're being off-topic or something.

Sly Cherry Chunks · Post by **Sly Cherry Chunks** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 4:24 pm

"Menace is rubbish" - who said that???

Gopher's Ambition · Post by **Gopher's Ambition** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 4:44 pm

I recall on X-Play, Morgan was practically having an orgasm narcking on 2-D games because of how bad the game she was reviewing was (sorry, can't remember the name - was a contra style shooter that took place on a space station, and you had to wander a maze). She said things like "oh 2D is dead... this game proves that 2D is dead... I just can't believe that they'd make a 2D game... there's nothing left in 2D to be done... 2D is outdated, there's no way a 2D game can be fun anymore..."

About 20 episodes later, R-Type Final and Gradius V both score 4 out 5s.