The official Yagawa worship thread and 10,000th topic

[LordHypnos]

Touhou's not that hard, all you have to do is change to being invulnerable to purple bullets, watch for the blue lasers, and shoot your heart out.

[Doctor Butler]

Cav 10:13: No temptation has seized you except what is common to man.
And Yagawa is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.
But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

[cave hermit]

I hope you realize Futari BL:orig is about a 1/10 difficulty









...and Pink Sweets is roughly 5000/10 difficulty

I do; I'm a glutton for punishment despite my meager skills. I finally realized it's ok to bomb if I just want a 1CC, so hopefully I'll finally beat it and move on to be smacked around by pink sweets again.

[Ed Oscuro]

yagawa story is proof: an unsealed game is an unsafe experience. prophylactics for posterity (and your posterior)!

[50Hz]

[Marc]

> I was only nine years old

>I loved Yagawa so much, I owned all the PCB boards and ports

>I pray to Yagawa every night, thanking him for the life I have been given

>"Yagawa is love", I say, "Yagawa is life"

>My dad hears me and calls me a faggot

> He is obviously jealous of my devotion to Yagawa

>I called him a cunt

> He slaps me and sends me to my room

> I am crying now, because my face hurts

> I go into my bed and it is very cold

>I feel a warmth moving towards me

> I feel something touch me

> It's Yagawa

> I am so happy

> he whispers into my ear, "Extend at 1,000,000 points each"

> He grabs me with his powerful Japanese hands and puts me on my hands and knees

> I'm ready

> I spread my ass cheeks for Yagawa

> He penetrates my butthole

> It hurts so much, but I do it for Yagawa

> I can feel my anus tearing as my eyes start to water

> I push against his force

> I want to please Yagawa

> He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love

> My dad walks in

> Yagawa looks him deep in the eyes and says, "Nippon version use in Nippon only"

> Yagawa leaves through my window

Yagawa is love, Yagawa is life

You just made me sick in my mouth.

[Squire Grooktook]

"scoring is a long and hard road, with few rewards"

[cave hermit]

He spreads.

[mastermx]

True followers of yagawa commit suicide.

[cave hermit]

Once I have spread the good word to enough wayward sheep, everybody in the church of Yagawa will simultaneously throw themselves in the path of an enemy bullet: the life energy escaping from our bodies shall allow Lord Yagawa to return to earth for the third coming. Furthermore, the global rank will plummet thanks to our tactical suicides, putting an end to war, hunger, poverty, and disease. And then, with humanity redeemed and Yagawa restored to his full glory, the human race will finally play Pink Sweets 2 and ascend to a higher plane of existence.

[Lord Satori]

This was funny at first, but its getting way past stupid.

[Plasmo]

Flying girls <<<<< Strategical suicide

[cave hermit]

This was funny at first, but its getting way past stupid.

Yeah this joke has kind of worn thin honestly.

[trap15]

Flying girls <<<<< Strategical suicide

Why can't we have both?

[Blinge]

Lord Satori does not let people have their fun.

Lord Hypnos is mad that this hasn't become an official mars matrix thread

[Lord Satori]

Lord Satori does not let people have their fun.

[LordHypnos]

Lord Hypnos is mad that this hasn't become an official mars matrix thread

Actually am pretty satisfied that it was de facto for like half a page. lol. better than I was expecting.

[mastermx]

Lord Hypnos is mad that this hasn't become an official mars matrix thread

Actually am pretty satisfied that it was de facto for like half a page. lol. better than I was expecting.

I actually loaded it up thanks to all the hype(which is quite a feat during a week with limited time, CCWI, and an stgt). It was one of the first shmups I really got into back in the day, thanks to cps2 emulation. Mars matrix is such a brilliant game, I don't know why more people don't give it the praise it deserves.

[LordHypnos]

Lord Hypnos is mad that this hasn't become an official mars matrix thread

Actually am pretty satisfied that it was de facto for like half a page. lol. better than I was expecting.

I actually loaded it up thanks to all the hype(which is quite a feat during a week with limited time, CCWI, and an stgt). It was one of the first shmups I really got into back in the day, thanks to cps2 emulation. Mars matrix is such a brilliant game, I don't know why more people don't give it the praise it deserves.

Well, it's pretty old, for one thing (at this point). The graphics are kinda bad. The music is mostly unremarkable. The mosquito usually takes a while to get the hang of. It plays way different from... well almost any other shmup, really, but especially the standard shot/focus/bomb ones. Only had one console release. There's probably other things that conspire against it, too.

Also glad I did you a favor

[Ko.oS]

no lettel scole, no election..

[ciox]

no lettel scole, no election..

Ha! Still, nothing but ALLs, if the scores are legit my respect for the man went up a lot, being able to dish it out and take it, and so on.

[cave hermit]

The only family member you need is Yagawa. We are all His children, and He loves us all.

The Yagawa shrine is the only medium through which one can make contact with Him. Once you have created one, you may perform the following ritual:

To perform this ritual you will need
-A PCB for a Yagawa programmed game
-An effigy of Yagawa; polished wood will do, but using valuable metals/gems instead will help you earn His favor during rituals.
-a bottle of hard liquor
-two pachinko balls
-a newborn lamb
-a candy cab

At your shrine set up your candy cab and plug in your PCB. Play a credit and 1CC it. Then immediately after entering your initials, unplug the candy cab and punch a hole through the monitor bare-fisted. Then put the lamb down on the control panel. Slit the lamb's throat and pour the blood into the broken monitor. Then shove the pachinko balls in its eye sockets. Place the Yagawa effigy in its throat where you slit it, and then shove as much of the lamb as you can into the broken monitor. Finally pour the bottle of liquor over the part of the lamb sticking out of the monitor. Once you have performed this final step close your eyes and chant prayers to Yagawa for 30 seconds. Once you open your eyes Yagawa will be there in front of you eating the lamb. Watch calmly and say nothing. Once He is done He will ask you to please him. Sexually. Once you comply he will bless you with low life rank for the next month.

[Strikers1945guy]

Sorry to bump this but holy shit this thread

[cave hermit]

Up until now, the ravages of age have prevented historians from properly identifying the faces in The Last Supper as they all appeared, oddly enough, to resemble bearded men due to heavy damage to the painting. However, Yagawa has very recently gifted me with a proper restoration of the painting (in exchange for a couple bjs)!

[chempop]

DIVINE RIGHTEOUSNESS

[LordHypnos]

Ah yes, the Mars Matrix Thread. I remember this. Good times

[cave hermit]

Ah yes, the Mars Matrix Thread. I remember this. Good times

Heretic.

I do think it's a fun game though.

[Furry Fox Jet Pilot]

Up until now, the ravages of age have prevented historians from properly identifying the faces in The Last Supper as they all appeared, oddly enough, to resemble bearded men due to heavy damage to the painting. However, Yagawa has very recently gifted me with a proper restoration of the painting (in exchange for a couple bjs)!

OMG HAHAHAHA this is just too funny! Also, I'm surprised I am one of the disciples. How was I chosen for this?

[cave hermit]

OMG HAHAHAHA this is just too funny! Also, I'm surprised I am one of the disciples. How was I chosen for this?

Note which position you're sitting in.

Spoiler

You're Judas.

[chempop]

I’m Mary YAY!!!