Movies you've just watched

[wgogh]

but sat all the way through Bright, I pity ya.

Hell no! I just saw some scenes as I walked through the living room and it was more than enough. Anyway, recommendation taken!

[boagman]

And Will Smith's salary.

Let's be honest, no actor is worth millions of dollars for a couple months worth of work.

I dunno. Everything's relative, you know. Game show hosts make millions for about one month's worth of work per year. They do work their tails off on production days, recording several episodes in one day, but it's still only about a month per year.

Will Smith is a pretty large-scale movie star. His star has certainly tarnished over the last 5-10 years or so looking at his choices and box office performance, but he's still pretty darned bankable. I'm not even a big fan of his or anything, but he knows how to entertain pretty well, and can give the audience what they crave.

[drauch]

What does the audience crave?

More Will Smith! More Will Smith!

Shark Tale 2! SHARK TALE 2!

[Ixmucane2]

Coco

Yet another experimental noir plot: a story of murder and betrayal is well disguised as a typical immature protagonist's typical simple supernatural quest in the beginning; then everything is revealed to be different and rather horrifying just when it's obvious that somehow shit is going to hit the fan; and finally the plot is filled well past the breaking point with really good-natured characters.

Very focused on death, and strangely avoiding any reference to actual religion to the point of creating a curious parallel-universe Mexico.

Superb photography; what appear to be excessively bright and intense hues at the beginning turn out to have good reasons. Character design is more debatable, with positively soft, very mobile facial features on skeletons.

[soprano1]

What does the audience crave?

More Will Smith! More Will Smith!

Shark Tale 2! SHARK TALE 2!

Fuck Will Smith.

[neorichieb1971]

I watched Bright since people are talking about it.

Weird concept. Will Smith cannot carry a movie with sharp shooting and talking about kicking ass all the time. He has become so one dimensional he literally plays the same character in all of his movies. He might as well have migrated from the "Bad boys" set to the "Bright" set without changing clothes, role or character. His girlfriend lives in a similar house to ID4 it becomes all very samey.

As for the movie its all half baked ideas. Just before the end when there is only one option left your cringing thinking "They are not going there are they?" and then they do. I don't really like mixing magic into real life worlds. The writers always seem to use a magic trick once, when in fact the whole movie could probably be fixed by just using one trick over and over. All the action in this movie is stylized like a Michael Bay movie. Mind you, there are people that like this sort of thing. My life liked it. Its mindless Hollywood trash to me.

4/10.

Jungle -

1981, true story of an adventurer that gets sucked into going into the jungle to find a tribe of indians in South America cut off from the modern world. The team leader effectively drags them into the lost wilderness and they split up for their own reasons. This is a survival movie and its done raw. Daniel Radcliffe stars and does a commendable job of portraying the main role. I would argue that at times its not that interesting, but then it picks up a bit, then it goes back to being a borefest and then it ends. So if you want to watch it just don't expect lots of action, its more of a walking paced survival, lone ranger type of movie.

7/10 - If you like this sort of thing.

Birth of a dragon -

I've never watched a movie about Bruce Lee that I didn't like. Now I have. In the 90's I watched "Dragon - The Bruce lee story" and I liked the Hollywood tones, music score, the story was good and it covered some of the life choices I wanted to see. This movie "Birth of a dragon" covers the bit where he fights a monk so that Bruce can train Americans the art style of Kung Fu. Bruce is portrayed as a bit of big headed fuck which isn't portrayed elsewhere that I know of. The movie is more philosophical in its direction and the fight scenes seem watered down if your used to watching Ip man or Jet Li movies. Which in itself seems strange as Bruce was really fast. Perhaps the actor they chose was not up to the job. I'm not sure people will appreciate the direction taken here. Dragon did cover some of the story here and "Birth of a dragon" has rewritten it to the point where the 2 don't match. Therefore only one of them can reflect the true happenings of what really happened in 1963.

I'd give birth 5/10.

[wgogh]

I watched Bright since people are talking about it

Now I know it's about time to stop..

Fuck Will Smith.

[BryanM]

His girlfriend lives in a similar house to ID4 it becomes all very samey.

This thought occurred to me, too. People really don't like new things.

AT-AT's!

[neorichieb1971]

The girlfriend was in it to tell him to swat a fairy. The writers went to some way to include her character into the main storyline

[Vexorg]

My wife has been sick for a few days, so for some reason we've been watching a lot of really terrible movies off Hulu for lack of alternatives. Examples:

The Perfect Score (17% on Rotten Tomatoes): A bunch of angsty teens straight out of central casting (you've got the obligatory nerd, jock, stoner, underachiever and valedictorian) create an elaborate and completely predictable plot to steal the answers to the SAT so they can get into good colleges. Mostly notable for having Scarlett Johansson and Chris Evans in it prior to the MCU films.

I Spy (15% on Rotten Tomatoes, 3 Razzie nominations): Lousy remake of an old 60s TV show with Owen Wilson (always a recipe for disaster) and Eddie Murphy in the middle of imploding his career trying to be spies. You know you're in for a bad time when Owen Wilson is supposed to be the smart one.

Monster Trucks (31% on Rotten Tomatoes): Uninspired environmental guilt trip film about an angst-riddled teen (played by a 26 year old, naturally) finding a monster who takes up residence in his truck while a generic evil oil company hunts for it.

[GaijinPunch]

Lousy remake of an old 60s TV show with Owen Wilson (always a recipe for disaster)

Meet the Parents.

[Skykid]

I watched Bright since people are talking about it.

Weird concept. Will Smith cannot carry a movie with sharp shooting and talking about kicking ass all the time. He has become so one dimensional he literally plays the same character in all of his movies. He might as well have migrated from the "Bad boys" set to the "Bright" set without changing clothes, role or character. His girlfriend lives in a similar house to ID4 it becomes all very samey.

As for the movie its all half baked ideas. Just before the end when there is only one option left your cringing thinking "They are not going there are they?" and then they do. I don't really like mixing magic into real life worlds. The writers always seem to use a magic trick once, when in fact the whole movie could probably be fixed by just using one trick over and over. All the action in this movie is stylized like a Michael Bay movie. Mind you, there are people that like this sort of thing. My life liked it. Its mindless Hollywood trash to me.

4/10.

Jungle -

1981, true story of an adventurer that gets sucked into going into the jungle to find a tribe of indians in South America cut off from the modern world. The team leader effectively drags them into the lost wilderness and they split up for their own reasons. This is a survival movie and its done raw. Daniel Radcliffe stars and does a commendable job of portraying the main role. I would argue that at times its not that interesting, but then it picks up a bit, then it goes back to being a borefest and then it ends. So if you want to watch it just don't expect lots of action, its more of a walking paced survival, lone ranger type of movie.

7/10 - If you like this sort of thing.

Birth of a dragon -

I've never watched a movie about Bruce Lee that I didn't like. Now I have. In the 90's I watched "Dragon - The Bruce lee story" and I liked the Hollywood tones, music score, the story was good and it covered some of the life choices I wanted to see. This movie "Birth of a dragon" covers the bit where he fights a monk so that Bruce can train Americans the art style of Kung Fu. Bruce is portrayed as a bit of big headed fuck which isn't portrayed elsewhere that I know of. The movie is more philosophical in its direction and the fight scenes seem watered down if your used to watching Ip man or Jet Li movies. Which in itself seems strange as Bruce was really fast. Perhaps the actor they chose was not up to the job. I'm not sure people will appreciate the direction taken here. Dragon did cover some of the story here and "Birth of a dragon" has rewritten it to the point where the 2 don't match. Therefore only one of them can reflect the true happenings of what really happened in 1963.

I'd give birth 5/10.

Dragon is good casual entertainment but everyone knows it's more artistic license than fact. Hardly any of it is grounded in reality.

I doubt this one is any better in that respect, but if the Bruce Lee biography is to be believed he was rather big headed; it was part of his persona and one of the reasons for his rise to fame.

[lilmanjs]

The Cat Returns
Too darn short! Should of been longer, but what we get is a nice little cute movie. I liked the king's maze part the best though.

[GaijinPunch]

Full Metal Jacket

Hadn't seen this one in a while. I'm in my gal's hometown in the shittiest fucking weather ever and we saw the local theater has a Friday night special, so we stopped in to watch this gem. Having watched The Shining a month or two ago, this one feels way different. My guess is mainly all the handheld to make it feel more first person. Still quite disturbing as most know.

[dan76]

Alien Covenant. What the fuck. More evidence that Ridley Scott is the most overated director out there. It was like a fan film made by someone who doesn't understand what makes Alien great. Tragic.

[Ixmucane2]

Jumanji (2017)

A surprisingly coherent parody of action videogames, at the cost of character depth: the four protagonists are highly stereotypical and their behaviour and development very obvious.

[soprano1]

City Hunter (1993)
What the fuck did I just watch? Here I thought the only crazy scene was the one where Jackie Chun does the Chun Li cosplay, but the whole movie is bonkers.

[lilmanjs]

City Hunter (1993)
What the fuck did I just watch? Here I thought the only crazy scene was the one where Jackie Chun does the Chun Li cosplay, but the whole movie is bonkers.

Isn't that based off a manga?

[soprano1]

City Hunter (1993)
What the fuck did I just watch? Here I thought the only crazy scene was the one where Jackie Chun does the Chun Li cosplay, but the whole movie is bonkers.

Isn't that based off a manga?

Yes, it is. One of the best jewels of the 80's: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wyj68m_nNxY

[wgogh]

80's anime had some great openings. Good to watch when you feel nostalgic. Anime had some kind of dreamy vibe that nothing else had.
(Also, watch Daicon IV, if you havent)

[GaijinPunch]

(Also, watch Daicon IV, if you havent)

I love showing that to people that aren't familiar with much 80's stuff. Then explain that it's fan video on 16mm.

[soprano1]

Daicon IV is wonderful, made Time my favourite concept album. Still trying to find the LP, urgh.

[Zen]

Glad to see that Bright (2017) - David Ayer, is getting a lot of stick here.

I think I can safely say that this is one of the worst films ever made.

Unfuckinbelievable.



It (2017) - Andy Muschietti

Incredibly boring and ill-paced film.
Wholly unremarkable actors.
Was there a score? I can't seem to remember.

For what its worth, to me the clown in IT always seemed to represent King himself.
Make of that what you will

[EmperorIng]

Alien Covenant. What the fuck. More evidence that Ridley Scott is the most overated director out there. It was like a fan film made by someone who doesn't understand what makes Alien great. Tragic.

I watched this for the first time the other day.

Visually, looks great. I was surprised at all the practical effects/suits for the monsters that they smoothed and shined out to make them look like cheap, flimsy CGI creations.

But the script, characters, story... what an abomination. Brain-dead characters with slasher story tropes. Not fun or classy slasher tropes either - shit like Friday the 13th part VII slasher tropes. Semi-decent performances wasted by a script that goes nowhere and has nothing for them to do. The second movie in a row to discard its protagonist for the self-masturbation that is the David android, who just mugs it the whole time. A fucking CGI martial-arts fight - am I watching a Marvel movie?

I am beginning to think that Ridley just got lucky - Alien and Blade Runner were flukes. How can a man make go from making such amazing movies to movies so bad - it baffles the mind. Was he too busy jerking off over his Walter/David dialog (aka Scott spewing his pseudo-philosophy all over our faces) to notice all the other huge deficiencies in the script? He couldn't have had his hands tied by the executives; I'd imagine Ridley Scott would have enough clout by now to do what he wants. And this is what he wants.

[Necronopticous]

It (2017) - Andy Muschietti

Incredibly boring and ill-paced film.
Wholly unremarkable actors.
Was there a score? I can't seem to remember.

Yeah, I also finally caught this. Just awful. Somehow simultaneously over the top and painfully unscary. Cliche after cliche after shameless fucking cliche. Absolute drivel.

Critics Consensus: Well-acted and fiendishly frightening with an emotionally affecting story at its core, It amplifies the horror in Stephen King's classic story without losing touch with its heart.

The original sucked, too.

On the up side my wife & I watched Ingrid Goes West and loved it. I could have done without the last minute or two, but otherwise excellent film. Particularly impressive at treading the line between cartoonish overload & astute realism of LA stereotypes, as well as executing on an underlying modern tech/social media concept, both of which usually feel like categorical death sentences to be avoided at all costs. You guys should definitely check this out if you haven't already.

[BryanM]

I am beginning to think that Ridley just got lucky - Alien and Blade Runner were flukes. How can a man make go from making such amazing movies to movies so bad - it baffles the mind.

Perhaps, just being a little crazy here, a glorified camera monkey is not as important as the writer?

He doesn't have any writing credits on these things, but it is hard to imagine that he isn't dictating plotpoints at the very least. Like I said before, it bothers me this narcissist killed the Bumcamp Aliens sequel. (Btw. Alien, like Carrie Fisher, is now a product of the Disney Corporation. Eventually, all of us will be.)
____

And as always, I'm contractually obligated to bring James Cameron up everytime someone is disappointed in Scott.

James Cameron, man with a thousand writing credits.

James Cameron, man who seems to understand humans.

James Cameron, maker of things normies want to see.

I watched the Battle Angel Alita trailer the other month. Expecting it to be a pointless disaster like all the other cartoon adaptations in all of history. Expecting to laugh heartily at the dumb googly CGI eyes.

By the middle of it I was thinking ".... this could actually do pretty well."

James Cameron, bastard who never fails.

[EmperorIng]

Ha ha ha, point well taken. I would say visuals definitely count for something in a visual medium, but how often have we seen a beautiful movie that doesn't bother to write a half-decent script? It's a shame that Scott wastes his talents in constructing excellent scenes and sets on trash. I wish someone would set him straight. I joked about it but I was hoping for Blumpklump's Alien 5/3 - to finally undo some of the damage done by Fincher and Jeunet. Who would have thought the master himself would be far more willing to torpedo his franchise.

While I joke with friends about the cartoonish simplicity of Cameron's scripts, there's definitely no doubt that he knows what people like and what people connect to! Even simple stuff like The Abyss has characters you all root for. I am really hoping the Alita movie wins me over because those silly googly eyes make such a bad first impression when everything else looks on point.

Heck take Aliens. Every single nameless grunt has a name, and a personality trait, and you don't want to see them die, because they are likable assholes! Like they are more than what they really are (alien fodder). Except maybe Gorman and Burke. But every movie needs a dog to kick. Or two.

[BrianC]

I watched the Battle Angel Alita trailer the other month. Expecting it to be a pointless disaster like all the other cartoon adaptations in all of history. .

I don't have hopes for Alita, but as far as cartoon adaptions being pointless disasters, Batman Mask of the Phantasm, Duck Tales the Movie (not as good as some of the better episodes, but far from a disaster), and the original Charlie Brown movies say hi.

[BryanM]

to finally undo some of the damage done by Fincher

Let's not be too mean to him! He was handed a plate of moldy dog shit (squeezed from dozens of different dogs) and told to shoot it.

Let's blame the FOX executives, who are now the property of the Disney corporation.

While I joke with friends about the cartoonish simplicity of Cameron's scripts, there's definitely no doubt that he knows what people like and what people connect to!

Honestly the bar is so damn low, it doesn't take much.

The Alita trailer. 2 minutes long. What does it do with these 2 minutes? It tries to create an emotional connection between the audience and the protagonist, get them invested. Hint a little at her story, about the robot girl thrown away in a junkyard. There's maybe 15 seconds of robot violence and menacing posing to make sure everyone knows this is still a movie and there will still be violence, don't be fooled. But it isn't the focus. It doesn't scream obnoxiously in your face "WATCH THIS SHIT YOU FUCKIN' TARD! BLAM! BLUE AND ORANGE!", but calmly goes "hey, maybe you might want to try this?"

There's a sliver of sincerity in its sales pitch there. Like it's trying to acknowledge that humans are people, and these "people" are customers. From which money can be extracted, if they're squeezed correctly. It lacks the complete empty cynicism of the endless reboot that was made just to have a product to sell. There's a grain of respect there for their audience.

That shouldn't be amazing at all! That should be, like, the most fundamental of basics.

What I think the core problem is, is that the cocaine+rapist execs that run the town that makes this stuff don't have souls. If they had souls, they'd probably not be rapers so much, and use cocaine more responsibly.

That's just a theory. A Hollywood theory.

but as far as cartoon adaptions being pointless disasters, Batman Mask of the Phantasm, Duck Tales the Movie (not as good as some of the better episodes, but far from a disaster), and the original Charlie Brown movies say hi.

W, wat. Do any of those have a live-action adaption written and directed by some foreigner that doesn't speak english?

That... actually sounds like a nice twist.

m_night.jpg

[Zen]

I am beginning to think that Ridley just got lucky - Alien and Blade Runner were flukes. How can a man make go from making such amazing movies to movies so bad - it baffles the mind.

Perhaps, just being a little crazy here, a glorified camera monkey is not as important as the writer?

He doesn't have any writing credits on these things, but it is hard to imagine that he isn't dictating plotpoints at the very least. Like I said before, it bothers me this narcissist killed the Bumcamp Aliens sequel. (Btw. Alien, like Carrie Fisher, is now a product of the Disney Corporation. Eventually, all of us will be.)
____

And as always, I'm contractually obligated to bring James Cameron up everytime someone is disappointed in Scott.

James Cameron, man with a thousand writing credits.

James Cameron, man who seems to understand humans.

James Cameron, maker of things normies want to see.

I watched the Battle Angel Alita trailer the other month. Expecting it to be a pointless disaster like all the other cartoon adaptations in all of history. Expecting to laugh heartily at the dumb googly CGI eyes.

By the middle of it I was thinking ".... this could actually do pretty well."

James Cameron, bastard who never fails.

I have previously commented on the ongoing disaster that is Ridley Scott but he has not fallen to the depths plumbed by the crass Cameron and his vomitus.

I think that Ridley is just "dialling it in" now.
Shows up on set; says, "yes, no, yes, yes, maybe" and goes home.

Unlike the awful Cameron, Scott seems like an interesting character.
His recent comments on Spacey and indeed Weinstein are dare I say, patriarchal.

Casting an objective (and hugely talanted) eye over proceedings (he is an interesting chap to watch in a group discussion) while chomping on the finest cigars,
as opposed to Cameron jetting off to some remote island to decry anthropogenic warming/cooling/change, while receiving a bird feather or something, from the indigenous saintly super-beings.

finally undo some of the damage done by Fincher and Jeunet

For me at least, Alien 3 is the most interesting of the comedy sequels. Up until the inevitable change into slasher film, of course.

What I think the core problem is, is that the cocaine+rapist execs that run the town that makes this stuff don't have souls. If they had souls, they'd probably not be rapers so much, and use cocaine more responsibly.

That's just a theory. A Hollywood theory.

True but the bigger enemy of quality film making is the easily programmed consumer masses.

Don't blame the predator for being a predator. Blame the sheep for being fucking sheep.