Movies you've just watched

Vexorg · Post by **Vexorg** » Sat Jun 17, 2017 7:55 am

Beauty and the Beast (2017 version): **1/2

Kind of a mess, all things considered. They took an animated movie that was a bastardization of its source material and bastardized it even further, then loaded it up with overdone CG and big name stars in hopes you won't notice how much duct tape and bailing wire is keeping the thing together. A lot of the CG goes straight into Uncanny Valley territory, and the superfluous additions to the plot mostly just leave a trail of fridge logic in their wake. And most of the singing actors sound just a little too autotuned for their own good.

Still more entertaining than the live action Cinderella remake though. That one was just a slog to get through.

BrianC · Post by **BrianC** » Sat Jun 17, 2017 1:27 pm

Vexorg wrote:Beauty and the Beast
bastardization of its source material

Not compared to most other Disney animated movies. It sticks more closely to the original than usual for Disney.

xxx1993 · Post by **xxx1993** » Sat Jun 17, 2017 2:24 pm

At least the live action version doesn't have the stupid "final showdown in the rain" cliche that Disney tends to overuse in their movies. But I wish action movies used that cliche more.

Zen · Post by **Zen** » Sat Jun 17, 2017 3:12 pm

Skykid wrote:So Alien Covenant has had 6 minutes cut from Chinese theatres that apparently ruin what little half decent elements the movie has.

As such I won't be paying a penny to go and see it.

For the good of the world, let me explain how this works:

In China there is a complex system of face, and a massive complex of oneupmanship and having to build a facade that displays superiority. By doing this you may earn the favour of your employee which may in turn lead to the most important thing in the universe: money.

Covenant wasn't cut because it was necessary. China has plenty of movies, foreign and domestic, with incredibly violent scenes intact. One example mentioned during this debacle was a movie where a murderer slaughters women and children in a kitchen.

The disparity occurs when some little prick wants to look good in front of his boss. And that's it. That's why Covenant has had nearly all of the gore removed and other low profile movies nobody cares about get released unperturbed. It's literally down to a pencil neck saying "boss, I found some very disturbing scenes in the latest major blockbuster, I think they would really upset children, so I have removed them to protect the fragile dispositions of the wonderful people of China and the legend of Mao Tse Tung". To which his boss says yeah, yeah and then goes back to fucking his secretary so she can get her monthly bonus.

Infuriating and fascinating at the same time.
Obviously corruption is universal but the perpetration of it and reaction to it, come in many cultural flavours. Is the Chinese current mood, one of rising impatience with the type of flagrant one-upmanship (and its consequences) that you mention or, are they philosophically resigned to it?

Skykid · Post by **Skykid** » Sat Jun 17, 2017 3:49 pm

Zen wrote:
Skykid wrote:So Alien Covenant has had 6 minutes cut from Chinese theatres that apparently ruin what little half decent elements the movie has.

As such I won't be paying a penny to go and see it.

For the good of the world, let me explain how this works:

In China there is a complex system of face, and a massive complex of oneupmanship and having to build a facade that displays superiority. By doing this you may earn the favour of your employee which may in turn lead to the most important thing in the universe: money.

Covenant wasn't cut because it was necessary. China has plenty of movies, foreign and domestic, with incredibly violent scenes intact. One example mentioned during this debacle was a movie where a murderer slaughters women and children in a kitchen.

The disparity occurs when some little prick wants to look good in front of his boss. And that's it. That's why Covenant has had nearly all of the gore removed and other low profile movies nobody cares about get released unperturbed. It's literally down to a pencil neck saying "boss, I found some very disturbing scenes in the latest major blockbuster, I think they would really upset children, so I have removed them to protect the fragile dispositions of the wonderful people of China and the legend of Mao Tse Tung". To which his boss says yeah, yeah and then goes back to fucking his secretary so she can get her monthly bonus.
Infuriating and fascinating at the same time.
Obviously corruption is universal but the perpetration of it and reaction to it, come in many cultural flavours. Is the Chinese current mood, one of rising impatience with the type of flagrant one-upmanship (and its consequences) that you mention or, are they philosophically resigned to it?

There's a level of impatience and growing resentment among many, but largely over superficial things (like movie censorship). Generally speaking the "one-upmanship" - which better translates as 'showing off' - is something they're culturally resigned to, rather than philosophically. The entire social construct built around face, saving face, getting face and not losing face leads to calamitous results in almost every possible aspect of society in China. It's a fucking mess and helps absolutely nobody in any possible way - yet for them there rarely is another way. Get face by any means possible or prepare to be downtrodden by the rest of the pretentious and largely uncultured masses.

Massively different and lengthy alternate topic though that would need its own thread.

On other things saw The Mummy as a day-off surrogate for Alien Covenant. Mostly terrible, which is a shame because the first act - about 45 minutes or so - had a genuine entertainment factor despite the awful expository dialogue. Unfortunately it was like a spinning top losing balance, and an hour in it was wobbling nervously - the entire screenplay going off the rails into vague and disjointed scenarios that had little purpose - before going totally out of control for a tonally confusing, trite and completely unsatisfactory climax. It wasn't enough that the expository dialogue was leaden and shackled the entire film, or that Cruise's character wasn't clear at all (Thief? Soldier? Mercenary?) or that the female love interest was completely useless and there was zero believable chemistry between her and her co-star (which made the finale even less convincing and even more of a mess) but they had to go and take worthwhile characters, like Dr Jekyll, and drive them into the ground (Russell Crowe was fucking awful by the way). Anyway, either watch 45 minutes and leave, or better yet save your cash.

Xyga · Post by **Xyga** » Sat Jun 17, 2017 5:23 pm

Once I had that vision of China; an hyper multi-administration office building of absolutely immesurable proportions, morphing, bubbling, which exists for extremely vague purposes (other than making money of course) working by the social, behavioural, structural rules similar to that of a group of women.
It's impossible to make any sense of it, it's running anyways, unstoppable, and thanks to its might achieves plenty of absolutely pharaonic things on top of all that extremely worrying amount of fucked up shit happening in the background.
The outsider can only observe and choose to deal with mixed feelings of awe and admiration (n00b level), or just laugh it out and randomly go with the flow giving the least possible fucks every day joy ride style (which is the intermediary level and will work fine as long as zeni and HP/TP are available in sufficient supply)

Skykid wrote:Massively different and lengthy alternate topic though that would need its own thread.

Indeed.

BrianC · Post by **BrianC** » Sat Jun 17, 2017 9:09 pm

I watched Boris Karloff version of The Mummy. I enjoyed it quite a bit. Boris Karloff was fantastic in it. He provides a subtly creepy character with just plain makeup that puts later CG versions to shame.

soprano1 · Post by **soprano1** » Sun Jun 18, 2017 7:54 am

BrianC wrote:I watched Boris Karloff version of The Mummy. I enjoyed it quite a bit. Boris Karloff was fantastic in it. He provides a subtly creepy character with just plain makeup that puts later CG versions to shame.

Heh, told you so.

soprano1 · Post by **soprano1** » Sun Jun 18, 2017 6:10 pm

Power Rangers (2017)
Crap, wasn't half bad: Rita was ugly as hell (eyebrows, what are those?

), but was well played by the actress. Suits were nice, too. Alpha was a new kind of annoyance, but not over the top. I liked Zordon's new personality, chaotic good much? The Zords weren't too bad looking, but Goldar was shit, at least up close.
Not an amazing movie, but well worth a watch, i think.

PC Engine Fan X! · Post by **PC Engine Fan X!** » Mon Jun 19, 2017 7:55 am

In the Alien Covenant film, the audience is shown a new alien creature known as a Neomorph (born when a black spore attaches itself to a human host & results in an entirely new alien creature hybrid that still shuns bright lights from flares). The weaponry shown in the AC flick are based on existing guns/rifles modified to look more futuristic -- it would've been too expensive to design such weaponry from scratch.

PC E ngine Fan X! ^_~

Skykid · Post by **Skykid** » Mon Jun 19, 2017 7:12 pm

Samurai Cop

Lightning in a bottle. Probably the most entertaining so-bad-it's-good movie I've ever seen, but best watched with a group. We were in hysterics.

I'd rate this slightly above Miami Connection overall. As one critic aptly described it, it defies logic by being both the best and the worst action movie ever made. Spot on.

emphatic · Post by **emphatic** » Mon Jun 19, 2017 7:24 pm

Skykid wrote:Samurai Cop

Lightning in a bottle. Probably the most entertaining so-bad-it's-good movie I've ever seen, but best watched with a group. We were in hysterics.

I'd rate this slightly above Miami Connection overall. As one critic aptly described it, it defies logic by being both the best and the worst action movie ever made. Spot on.

You know they made a sequel, right?

lilmanjs · Post by **lilmanjs** » Tue Jun 20, 2017 3:45 am

Thunderbolt
Is this a truly horrible Jackie Chan movie? No. See more recent works after Chinese Zodiac 2012 if you want to see the worst of Jackie Chan. Is this an amazing movie? Its not that either. Its a decent movie, nothing more, nothing less. The plot you can kinda throw out the window, and the fights are interesting, that pachinko fight is the best one in the movie though. When it deals with the racing aspect of the movie, its tuner car porn for damn sure. The ending race is silly looking for most of it, but hey, you get a lot of awesome looking cars for the time. Not the best one from Jackie in the 90s, but Its worth at least one watch.

Skykid · Post by **Skykid** » Tue Jun 20, 2017 5:56 am

emphatic wrote:
Skykid wrote:Samurai Cop

Lightning in a bottle. Probably the most entertaining so-bad-it's-good movie I've ever seen, but best watched with a group. We were in hysterics.

I'd rate this slightly above Miami Connection overall. As one critic aptly described it, it defies logic by being both the best and the worst action movie ever made. Spot on.
You know they made a sequel, right?

Yes but I'm really skeptical. How can you intentionally attempt to recreate the unintentional? It was an organic thing that makes Samurai Cop so beautiful: a perfect catastrophe.

If someone recommends the sequel I might give it a go though.

EmperorIng · Post by **EmperorIng** » Wed Jun 21, 2017 1:54 am

Samurai Cop 2 is shamelessly bad. I thought that they would be savvy enough to not have a whole bunch of scenes amounting to "remember when we did this in the first movie?" But that's what they did to a T.

No charm whatsoever.

Instead you might as well watch Hollywood Cop, the director's previous (and lesser) work. Not without charm!

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » Wed Jun 21, 2017 6:30 am

EmperorIng wrote:Samurai Cop 2 is shamelessly bad. I thought that they would be savvy enough to not have a whole bunch of scenes amounting to "remember when we did this in the first movie?" But that's what they did to a T.

No charm whatsoever.

Instead you might as well watch Hollywood Cop, the director's previous (and lesser) work. Not without charm!

Directors which make 'so bad it's good' flukes will just try to cash in on the popularity of their earlier films if they become somewhat popular, because they are still by and large hacks.
Birdemic 2 would be another example.

Skykid · Post by **Skykid** » Wed Jun 21, 2017 8:26 pm

Pulp Fiction

A filmmaker's film, and every inch a thing of craftsmanship. Every time I watch it, it evolves somehow, and always seems that bit more magnificent than the last time. Not many films can do that.

Mischief Maker · Post by **Mischief Maker** » Thu Jun 22, 2017 3:07 am

Skykid wrote:Pulp Fiction

A filmmaker's film, and every inch a thing of craftsmanship. Every time I watch it, it evolves somehow, and always seems that bit more magnificent than the last time. Not many films can do that.

Too bad aging boomers gave the academy award to Forrest Gump instead.

Though I still say it's objectively a bigger outrage that the weak-ass Fight Club ripoff American Beauty stole the prize from the very movie it was shamelessly copying.

emphatic · Post by **emphatic** » Thu Jun 22, 2017 4:03 am

Mischief Maker wrote:Though I still say it's objectively a bigger outrage that the weak-ass Fight Club ripoff American Beauty stole the prize from the very movie it was shamelessly copying.

American Beauty was released two days before Fight Club though, so they must've worked really fast on that ripoff. Kudos to them.

Mischief Maker · Post by **Mischief Maker** » Thu Jun 22, 2017 4:15 am

emphatic wrote:
Mischief Maker wrote:Though I still say it's objectively a bigger outrage that the weak-ass Fight Club ripoff American Beauty stole the prize from the very movie it was shamelessly copying.
American Beauty was released two days before Fight Club though, so they must've worked really fast on that ripoff. Kudos to them.

And Fight Club the bestselling novel was released three years before American Beauty.

BryanM · Post by **BryanM** » Thu Jun 22, 2017 4:40 am

W, what exactly does it rip off?

Mischief Maker · Post by **Mischief Maker** » Thu Jun 22, 2017 1:26 pm

BryanM wrote:W, what exactly does it rip off?

Not sure if sarcastic.

GaijinPunch · Post by **GaijinPunch** » Thu Jun 22, 2017 2:50 pm

Mischief Maker wrote: Too bad aging boomers gave the academy award to Forrest Gump instead.

The Samuel L Jackson dis was whorable, and the ensuing reaction video moment of the announcement will go down in awards history.

Zen · Post by **Zen** » Thu Jun 22, 2017 9:18 pm

Blue Collar (1978) - Paul Schrader
Hard hitting film from back in the day. Starring Richard Pryor, Harvey Keitel and Yaphet Kotto. Pryor was good in this straight role, while Keitel was oddly stiff in his scenes with his two buddies (like he was trying too hard) but fine in every other scene. Make no mistake though, this is Kotto's film. He eases into his alpha role and owns the whole show. Good stuff.

The LEGO Batman Movie (2017) - Chris McKay
It goes like this: 3 to 4 seconds of poorly animated flashing scene with words (blah, blah, blah), jarring cut and repeat. kinetosis here we go! Fucking torture. I lasted just under ten minutes.

Swiss Army Man (2016) - Dan Kwan, Daniel Scheinert
This one caused "offence" to some at film festivals? Oh dear me

. Once you get past the absurdest "propulsion" system use by our hero, its a pretty good film. I kept having Tyler Durden quotes pop into my while watching it, which can only be a good thing.

boagman · Post by **boagman** » Fri Jun 23, 2017 1:09 am

Zen wrote:Blue Collar (1978) - Paul Schrader
Hard hitting film from back in the day. Starring Richard Pryor, Harvey Keitel and Yaphet Kotto. Pryor was good in this straight role, while Keitel was oddly stiff in his scenes with his two buddies (like he was trying too hard) but fine in every other scene. Make no mistake though, this is Kotto's film. He eases into his alpha role and owns the whole show. Good stuff.

The LEGO Batman Movie (2017) - Chris McKay
It goes like this: 3 to 4 seconds of poorly animated flashing scene with words (blah, blah, blah), jarring cut and repeat. kinetosis here we go! Fucking torture. I lasted just under ten minutes.

Swiss Army Man (2016) - Dan Kwan, Daniel Scheinert
This one caused "offence" to some at film festivals? Oh dear me . Once you get past the absurdest "propulsion" system use by our hero, its a pretty good film. I kept having Tyler Durden quotes pop into my while watching it, which can only be a good thing.

RE: "The LEGO Batman Movie"...I take it that you've never actually seen "The LEGO Movie"?

BrianC · Post by **BrianC** » Fri Jun 23, 2017 3:50 am

It's worth mentioning that there is a made for video movie named Lego Batman: The Movie, which is completely different from The Lego Batman Movie.

Skykid · Post by **Skykid** » Fri Jun 23, 2017 5:34 am

I've heard the Lego Batman movie is no way near as good as the Lego movie.

GaijinPunch wrote:
Mischief Maker wrote: Too bad aging boomers gave the academy award to Forrest Gump instead.
The Samuel L Jackson dis was whorable, and the ensuing reaction video moment of the announcement will go down in awards history.

Is there a link?

emphatic · Post by **emphatic** » Fri Jun 23, 2017 9:17 am

Mischief Maker wrote:And Fight Club the bestselling novel was released three years before American Beauty.

The book was pretty unknown until the movie came out though. Similar themes, sure, but I don't agree to it being a ripoff. And Fight Club is my all time favourite movie.

Here's a cool short with Sigourney Weaver from Neil Bloomkamp. It has Aliens too! https://youtu.be/VjQ2t_yNHQs

Mischief Maker · Post by **Mischief Maker** » Fri Jun 23, 2017 1:48 pm

Skykid wrote:
GaijinPunch wrote:
Mischief Maker wrote: Too bad aging boomers gave the academy award to Forrest Gump instead.
The Samuel L Jackson dis was whorable, and the ensuing reaction video moment of the announcement will go down in awards history.
Is there a link?

https://youtu.be/pc5uF1I1eNk?t=1m13s

emphatic wrote:
Mischief Maker wrote:And Fight Club the bestselling novel was released three years before American Beauty.
The book was pretty unknown until the movie came out though. Similar themes, sure, but I don't agree to it being a ripoff. And Fight Club is my all time favourite movie.

Movies, especially back then, came in twos because of competing studios trying to beat each other to the punch with the next big idea. Two asteroid is going to hit the Earth movies, two CGI bug cartoons, two mission to Mars movies, etc. You may not have heard of Fight Club, but you think a studio wouldn't know its competitor just optioned a critically acclaimed book?

Tell me which of the two movies' plot I'm describing:

The protagonist is a man who is successfully following the career path laid out for him by society and has received the material rewards that come with that success, but he nevertheless finds himself profoundly unhappy with his situation. He manages to to assuage his discontent through dishonest escapism for a while, but one day he meets a female character who shocks him out of his complacent funk. The protagonist begins intentionally breaking society's taboos while sexually fantasizing about the female. As he chooses to move further and further away from society's goals he's surprised how much he manages to get away with, including a scene where he blackmails his boss into giving him a salary to pursue his subversion full time. The more the protagonist breaks his own rules, the more people surrounding him begin to break theirs as well, and the very culture begins to crumble around them. Then the protagonist has a pivotal moment where he confronts the female and realizes that he's gone too far. He comes to understand that the freedom he seeks doesn't come from defying society's expectations, but from actually letting them go. Right after the character achieves this moment of zen, the ripple effects of his actions in society literally explode on the screen.

Just because certain details of the Ghostbusters theme song are different doesn't mean it isn't a ripoff of I want a new drug.

Zen · Post by **Zen** » Fri Jun 23, 2017 2:02 pm

boagman wrote:RE: "The LEGO Batman Movie"...I take it that you've never actually seen "The LEGO Movie"?

I saw the The Lego Movie (2014) - Phil Lord/Christopher Miller, back when it came out. Mainly to see how they would make a feature length film out of, well. LEGO. Turned out to be an amusing, mildly subversive, cutesy existential comedy.
This time, The LEGO Batman Movie (2017) - Chris McKay, limits itself by telling you what it is going to be about (Batman, obviously) and the disarming "well, its LEGO. How good can it be?" novelty of the fist is also missing of course, replaced with going full-retard with its own "LEGO-ness".
It feels like a toy commercial. The fist 8 - 10 minutes that I sat through, was one long action scene. Ten minutes and it was still going when I turned it off. I reckon it set record for how many actual toys shown on-screen in a ten minute period. Also, as I said, the quick cuts were fucking killing me.
Also why am I critiquing a fucking LEGO film?

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