Skype, Alternatives to, Granny Chat General - PLS HALP

[BIL]

Chaps, I don't know shit about Skype. EXCEPT that it used to be a lot simpler to use! I used to be able to set my own ringtone, an unintrusive little thing. At one point I used the Compile Extend Jingle, but I got sick of explaining it in the heat of Granny Chat. Now (past couple years), whenever I call someone, or THEY call ME, I have to endure a big mouthful from the obnoxiously chacha-ing, impossible-to-change default ring.

I looked into ripping it out at the roots, and decided I was probably gonna break something, so now I seethe in silent fury with every call! WORST, though, is that because I use the program primarily for Granny Chat, whenever something goes wrong - and by fucking Christ, do things go wrong lately - the other party is worse than fucking useless WRT technical insight. Have they spilled their Horlicks on the speakers, again? Has lovable WOMPER ambled past, annihilating the desktop with a swipe of his bushy tail, again? Are they just deaf from untold shore-leave loads blasted directly into the ear canal, ca.WW2?

NOBODY KNOWS THE FACTS. "FIX IT NAO, YA WEE CONT, I'M GOIN UP FOR ME STORIES" is all I hear. 3; Tonight, me fookin mic stopped comin through their end. Tried the Skype sound test, all good, checked muh connections, lookin' sound, can't figured it out. Emailed to ask if they can hear *ANYTHING AT ALL* their end, suspecting a speaker mishap. Response pending, I will update you post-haste.

To hear the great unwashed tell it, all this woe is something to do with Microsoft acquiring Skype, or something? I don't follow such things, but if obliterating Bill Gates' gurning donghole from my PC in favour of a simpler program is an option, pls do tell! In the meantime, pls let me know if I'm doing something wrong. System is: Windows 10, Skype version 8.66.0.77, Application version 15.66.77.0, and according to little window thing, I'm on the latest version. For all the fucking good that's doing. 3;

[BareKnuckleRoo]

You're not alone. Skype's rather flaky in Windows 10 and it may be anything from Windows 10 permissions issues to a potential driver issue. I had the exact same thing happen with a colleague at work, could not get Skype to recognize their microphone at all, ended up installing Zoom and do voice/video calls that way. Telegram apparently now supports video calling too, assuming you're okay using a service that demands your phone number.

[BIL]

Oho! Excellent, noted down. At this point I'm looking at just junking the damn thing. I don't wanna go all nostalgia bro, but I could swear it used to be more or less a pair of cans tied together with string. Now it's a goddamn minefield. 3;

[FinalBaton]

This is Burinju's opportunity to get revenge for the trolling of his defective-hydraulic-chair thread.

I'm sure there's a jab that he can throw in there. there has to be something

[BIL]

Not likely frere Baton. (｀ω´メ) While Burinju trembled before the ChiCom rod, my iron cheeks will ricochet the piffling, lead-painted trash straight past his native Gingerstan, back to the godless animal sweatshop that welded it, making landfall with the dispassionate fury of the orbital kinetics in Robert A. Heinlein's The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress (the man's name was Heinlein, not "Heinlien" as a certain gurning, Moon Rock-peddling monstrosity birthed of back-alley Cambodian chop-shops would have you believe )

...

Waitaminute.

Have I been shadowbanned by MICROCOCKS for my relentless PRECISION CYBER BLOWS to the head neck and face of one Ms. Wu? I just want to check in on me nan, ya cunts! TBH she's probably shadowbanned too. >_>

[Blinge]

I laughed heartily. I tried to make a sexual joke about BIL's nan but she appeared out of nowhere and smacked me in the mouth, i'm still trying to find my tooth.

At the risk of being laughed out of the room, have you considered Zoom? All the rage in this pandumbic

[BIL]

Yes, she does that! Caught me fappin in my youth and no-sold my "OH HAI LMAO" leaving me like Sonny Corleone at the tollbooth. 3;

Yeah Zoom is sounding promising! I just have to wait for the old crone to descend like a black mist with notes of Famous Grouse and Penguins.

[orange808]

The organizations in my circle have abandoned Skype. Zoom is the better product. Get it.

Microsoft doesn't seem to fully understand why they bleeding market share; they seem to think it's because average users are unaware of Skype. That may be true, but the real problem is: IT professionals decided they liked Zoom better. IT picks a solution, rolls it out, employees use it at work, and familiarity expands Zoom's market share. IT is the kingmaker.

Microsoft's big answer to Zoom was a mandatory "Meet Now" icon into the taskbar. That works just as well as putting Edge shortcuts on the taskbar (doesn't work at all). Microsoft should take note of BIL's remarks. People aren't using Zoom because they don't know Skype is baked into Win10, they are switching to Zoom out of frustration.

[BIL]

Feel free to copy/paste my tale of woe direct to the big corporate mucky-mucks, but pls do not credit me, I do NAHT deserve it I am too lazy and complacent a soul to ever show such initiative.

"Wahooo! It sure is nice being able to keep in touch with elderly relatives FO FREE!"
*cataclysmic failure of cascading cocks*
"OMFG IMMA KILL BILL GATES AND CUM IN HE NECK STUMP"

^^^ muh process ;3

That works just as well as putting Edge shortcuts on the taskbar (doesn't work at all).

Hoooly fuck, those things. NO CUNT, I DONT WANT TO USE YOUR FUCKFACE EDGYBOI BROWSER, IF I DID IT'D ALREADY BE BUSTED WIDE OPEN, JUST LIKE YOUR LITTLE BOIPUCCI IS GONNA BE IF YOU DON'T GTFO OUTTA MY MOTHER FUCKIN FACE

Allow me to convey my full displeasure via the stylings of Robert Loggia (PBUH) ;3

Oh! It's me nan. :O Let's see if this works.

Note that WOMPER is a fictional name to protect the innocent - I am oldschool paranoia incarnate. You never know who's watching you from the shadows on hard_gayming_funtyme.org, cataloguing your every interaction like a bitter Discord lunatic who can't go more than five posts here without a wall-smearing meltdown (sup Ric, washed the taste of my load out the back of your throat yet?)

[Blinge]

just gonna join the circlejerk and say yes, skype is dogshit now.

[BIL]

Nah its cool, one man's circlejerk is another's consensus after all omnomnom >:9

Well, me nan's dulcet tones are filling my little flat, and I'm typing this while letting her natter on, bless. It seems WOMPER had indeed fucked things up again, and a speaker was loose. I've broached the subject of Zoom and have installed it on my end for now.

ACTUAL CONVERSATION / THE INTRACTABILITY OF DOTAGE:

"But I'm a traditionalist ya wee gobshite"
"Yes but this might be nearer the old Skype than whatever they've mutated it into"
"O rly?"
"Yes."
"Feck off I'm not doin shite"
"Oh you!"

Many thanks chaps. ;-;7

[FinalBaton]

I imagine you doing the video chat in your full-on Heins gear, like in your avatard

with a rifle and grenades nearby

[BIL]

How did you know Have I been HAXXORED (the gun and the bombs are just props to keep em SCURRED nobody ever sees the back-mounted cylinder, high-pressure underarm cabling and wrist-mounted nozzle that facilitate the ancient technique of compassionate murder, ANSATSUKEN NO CHEETO DUST)

[FinalBaton]

lmao. cheeto dust pulverizer

and yes you've been HAXXORED. by MICROCOCKS and specifically Bill GAYTES who jacks off to the data he collected on your buns (word is : he made a 3D model of 'em)

[BIL]

I knew it, that fuckin "smart gamer chair." More like industrial espionage chair to steal and mass-produce ancient Chinese gluteal training secrets long since driven underground by the ChiCom cunts. How ironic that their own ancestors' training regime would render their BigBlackDickOmatic 9000 series of hydraulic chairs ineffective!

[FinalBaton]

Quite the irony indeed!