Solo: A Star Wars Story

[Steamflogger Boss]

So yeah this is actually a pretty decent movie.

Surprising isn't it? I mean, it's flawed in loads of places, and it's so dark I could barely distinguish features in the theatre (where the bulb was at half mast for sure) but it's a better attempt than anything since Jedi, I suppose.

Not amazing, the whole fembot thing is silly and I could have done w/o Enfys Nest but overall a pretty watchable movie. Something like a 6.5/10

[Skykid]

I don't get movie reviews from anywhere, but I'm insulted you think I would give Info Wars the time of day on any subject.

I checked back and it turned out emphatic was the one who linked the Paul Joseph Watson review of Black Panther, not you.

I apologize for the error.

Apology accepted Captain Mischief.

Not amazing, the whole fembot thing is silly and I could have done w/o Enfys Nest but overall a pretty watchable movie. Something like a 6.5/10

That sounds in the right ballpark to me. Conversely I can't accept the Rotten Tomatoes aggregates of either pro reviewers or audience, but only because I'm basing its scores against the scores of all the Star Wars movies before it. If they're all scoring mid 90%s, then this one makes no sense at 71%. Everything is fucked up though, so it doesn't really matter.

[Steamflogger Boss]

Sooo about Rotten Tomatoes... There are reviewers on there that likened Red Beard to General Hospital. Site is ****ed. I don't even consider RT score relevant. I also make it a point to not check reviews before or immediately after I watch a movie.

[BryanM]

Bonus! She's also **instantly** the most important person everywhere she goes!! Han is dead, so give me a big hug, Rey! Fuck.

Here's my Disney female protagonist recipe:

1. Grab a Game Genie.
2. Throw in SMB2 USA.
3. Get infinite star invincibility.
4. Get infinite floating.
5. Add the ability to float up and down.
6. Float through entire game effortlessly.
7. Deny that you have a Mary Sue.
8. Girl power.

Fuck Star Wars.

That is indeed an endemic problem with the franchise - that Jedi are wish fulfillment crap that reduces all other characters into background ferns.

Even though in the original series they weren't as... zazzed up as they became in the prequels, it was still pretty one sided. Here's Han Fuckin' Solo's epic battle against Vader: he shoots at him a few times. Vader blocks with his hand. Then he uses telekinesis to pull the gun out of Han's hand. Battle over. Good job Han.

Why can't Vader just yank the laser sword out of Guppy Boy's hand in a similar fashion three minutes later? Because he's the Chosen One. By the plot.

I like Worf types a lot better. A jobber who always fails against a stronger force, and is only allowed wins against the mookiest of mooks.

[Mischief Maker]

Even though in the original series they weren't as... zazzed up as they became in the prequels, it was still pretty one sided. Here's Han Fuckin' Solo's epic battle against Vader: he shoots at him a few times. Vader blocks with his hand. Then he uses telekinesis to pull the gun out of Han's hand. Battle over. Good job Han.

Why can't Vader just yank the laser sword out of Guppy Boy's hand in a similar fashion three minutes later? Because he's the Chosen One. By the plot.

Oh no! I'll shit on the prequels, disneyverse, and ewok adventures any day of the week, but do not try and shit on Empire, that's as close to perfect as any space opera movie came EVER.

Vader could just yank the lightsaber out of Luke's hand but he's intentionally choosing not to. There's a lot of complex things happening under the surface in that fight. Vader wants to capture Luke alive, but he also wants to see what his son's made of, but he also wants to dominate and control Luke, but he's also impressed by his son's skill and nursing a rising hope that by teaming up they can kill Palpatine together and take over the Empire, but when Luke sneaks through his guard and grazes his shoulder he's blinded by rage and shows a touch of his true power by dismembering Luke, and in the end he's so taken aback by Luke's final act of defiance that he forgets to kill Admiral Piett.

Great fucking movie.

I like Worf types a lot better. A jobber who always fails against a stronger force, and is only allowed wins against the mookiest of mooks.

Even Worf had his day in the end.

[PC Engine Fan X!]

Not to mention of the how and why the famous "Kessel Run done in 12 parsecs" is achieved -- always wondered how that legendary stint came to be as the events that take place in Solo: A Star Wars Story explains it all. Plus the fact that the ol' Falcon looks kinda newish and a bit different compared to the Falcon shown in the SW Ep. 3:RoTS film (makes me wonder whom was the original owner/pilot in that particular chapter of the SW saga with the lil' bit Falcon cameo appearance). So from the time the Falcon makes her grand debut in Solo to SW Ep. 4: ANH, it's gone under a lot of upgrades and modifications indeed.

And when the Falcon gains a "new brain" -- it adds to the overall character of the Falcon and her three AI brains trying to make things right (or most of the time, not work when it's most crucial to make the jump to lightspeed as needed). It's been said the Falcon's on-board three AIs very rarely cooperate together if at all (because of all of the bickering, squabbling and whatnot going on in the background scenery during the Falcon's operation) but it's happened a few times when everything is running smoothly as it should be.

PC Engine Fan X! ^_~

[BareKnuckleRoo]

As the prequels demonstrated, sometimes showing all the backstory for a character whose origins are mysterious can ruin a character. Even if fans clamour to know every little aspect of a character, it can be a good thing to leave things vague or unanswered because imagination can often fill in those gaps more interestingly for viewers.

Not to mention of the how and why the famous "Kessel Run done in 12 parsecs" is achieved -- always wondered how that legendary stint came to be as the events that take place in Solo: A Star Wars Story explains it all.

Parsecs are a unit of distance, not time, and in an early draft, it was apparently supposed to be a failed attempt on Solo's part to boast about how fancy his ship was:

In the revised fourth draft of A New Hope in 1976, the description for "Kessel Run" is put as follows:

"It's the ship that made the Kessel run in less than twelve parsecs!"
Ben reacts to Solo's stupid attempt to impress them with obvious misinformation.

So it implies that the puzzling speech of Han Solo is "misinformation" and not truth, and it has nothing to do with the nature of the Kessel Run in any respect. Han means nothing other than impressing Obi-Wan and Luke with pure boasting. Indeed, even in the final version of the script, the parentheses attached to Han's line state that he is "obviously lying."

In the A New Hope novelization, Han says "standard time units" rather than "parsecs."

In the commentary for Star Wars: Episode IV A New Hope DVD, George Lucas mentions that the parsecs are due to the Millennium Falcon's advanced navigational computer rather than its engines, so the navicomputer would calculate much faster routes than other ships could. Similar info can be found in the notes Lucas recorded together with Carol Titelman in July/August 1977 to start a knowledge database for the planned sequels:

"It’s a very simple ship, very economical ship, although the modifications he made to it are rather extensive – mostly to the navigation system to get through hyperspace in the shortest possible distance (parsecs).”

[Mischief Maker]

I think Lucas just goofed up with astronomy terminology he didn't understand.

Next they'll make an entire spinoff film to give a convoluted explanation for why that storm trooper banged his head on the door.

Followed by another film telling the story of the Ugnaught who put the trampoline in the carbonite freezing facility that Luke jumped onto then bounced back up into the shot.

[BryanM]

Vader could just yank the lightsaber out of Luke's hand but he's intentionally choosing not to. There's a lot of complex things happening under the surface in that fight. Vader wants to capture Luke alive, but he also wants to see what his son's made of, but he also wants to dominate and control Luke, but he's also impressed by his son's skill and nursing a rising hope that by teaming up they can kill Palpatine together and take over the Empire, but when Luke sneaks through his guard and grazes his shoulder he's blinded by rage and shows a touch of his true power by dismembering Luke, and in the end he's so taken aback by Luke's final act of defiance that he forgets to kill Admiral Piett.

Yep. I just said he's the chosen one. By the plot.

Now can you explain ideas to me on how Solo could ever be more than a mere fern in the grand scheme of things. And why anyone would be interested in a movie about a Yamcha?

Han was a bus driver hired to get from point A to point B. With a secondary function of being Luke's friend after his grandpa died. Because we can't have Luke be a friendless loser like Marge Simpson. He has a little sideplot where he and his dog* run cocaine for a corpulent Mexican druglord named el Jambo, which leads to his untimely death. You can retell or retheme that little story, I guess, but why..



* A superintelligent talking dog, but only he can understand what it says.

[WelshMegalodon]

(makes me wonder whom was the original owner/pilot in that particular chapter of the SW saga with the lil' bit Falcon cameo appearance)

Believe it or not...

I think Lucas just goofed up with astronomy terminology he didn't understand.

Next they'll make an entire spinoff film to give a convoluted explanation for why that storm trooper banged his head on the door.

Followed by another film telling the story of the Ugnaught who put the trampoline in the carbonite freezing facility that Luke jumped onto then bounced back up into the shot.

You'd love this excerpt from Wookieepedia:

The Death Star's design included a small but significant flaw: an exposed thermal exhaust port. At one point in the construction process, this exhaust port was identified as unnecessary. When the architect responsible for the area asked the Wookiee overseeing construction of the area to omit the port, he insisted on getting the amendment to the plans in writing. Before the architect had a chance to submit such an amendment, the Wookiee became ill and was confined to a medcenter, and his replacement built the port as specified in the plans.

[Mischief Maker]

I think Wookiepedia has Lovecraft's Necronomicon beat in terms of a tome that will drive you insane if you read it.

[Steamflogger Boss]

I think Wookiepedia has Lovecraft's Necronomicon beat in terms of a tome that will drive you insane if you read it.

See also: Zelda timeline, Dragon Ball canon.

[PC Engine Fan X!]

If you thumb through the ol' The Art of Return of the Jedi artbook that was published back in 1983-1984, there's one pre-conceptual artwork of an early Jabba the Hutt sketch with many limbs and hands (that led to the overall alien design of Lady Proxima as shown in the newfangled Solo film). Fascinating but true.

PC Engine Fan X! ^_~

[BrianC]

I think Wookiepedia has Lovecraft's Necronomicon beat in terms of a tome that will drive you insane if you read it.

See also: Zelda timeline, Dragon Ball canon.

Dragon Ball GT alone is enough to drive someone insane (I know it's non-canon)

[BryanM]

There is a warm fuzzy feeling in knowing that there are nerds out there triggered by the truth: Each entry in the The Legend of Zelda series, is just a re-telling of the same exact legend. Over and over again.

Which is one direction they could have gone with new Star Wars, but never considered it. Because it's too smart of an idea I guess.

It really solves a ton of problems. You don't have this ever-growing thick stack of canon mashed potatoes that really has no relevance to the plot. (Luke, Han, Yoda etc aren't just background ferns now. They're shrubs on a mountainside a hundred miles behind us now.) You don't have Chinese people wondering what the hell is going on or why they should care, when they missed their chance to get on board in the 70's.

[Mortificator]

"Canon" is just a fan conceit, not a property that works have or are capable of having. Arguing over whether a particular work is "canon" or "non-canon" is like arguing whether it's "panties" or "non-panties", "Germany" or "non-Germany", "dodosisboom" or "non-dodosisboom." Neither side can ever prove their case, because the distinction exists only in their mind.

The truth is that none of the Zelda games are "canon", and they're not retellings of a legend either. They're stories that various video game company employees made up.

[Steamflogger Boss]

Right on. Just have fun playing Zelda games if you like em, I say.

[BryanM]

"Canon" is just a fan conceit, not a property that works have or are capable of having.

lol yeah

what if, like, things only exist in your mind, man?

nothing means anything!

not retellings of a legend either

Yeah man.

It's not the same story with a Link fighting a Ganon with a Magic Sword with a princess named Zelda somewhere in there every time. It's a new and unique story, every single time! NEW! STORY!

Also Link is not an elf. He's a collection of polygons that float around in an imaginary mathematical space.

[Jonny2x4]

I think Wookiepedia has Lovecraft's Necronomicon beat in terms of a tome that will drive you insane if you read it.

See also: Zelda timeline, Dragon Ball canon.

Dragon Ball GT alone is enough to drive someone insane (I know it's non-canon)

You think that's funny? Bring up Portable Ops to MGS fans and ask them if it's canon.

[Steamflogger Boss]

You think that's funny? Bring up Portable Ops to MGS fans and ask them if it's canon.

ACQUIRE MATERIAL. ABSORB INTO BODY.

[BrianC]

William Conrad is Cannon.

[aerobert]

I really enjoyed it. Not a big star wars buff outside of the original three.

[Super Laydock]

Had good hopes, but I actually dozed off couple of times during this one...

[MJR]

I was so put off with Rogue One and everything that Disney had produced that I was nearly going to skip this one, but I am glad that I didn't. This was the first decent SW Disney has ever produced.

I was also prepared to disagree with Skykid's review, but to my horror and shock I agreed with him almost 100%.

Have you ever thought about the possibility that New hope/Empire working so well might have been a complete accident?
Because if Lucas (or anyone) actually understood what made the magic work so well, and kept all the circumstances under control enough to bring it so, we would have never had to witness an endless cascade of average/less than movies.. at least the creators of Robocop (Verhoeven, Neumeier) pretty much confessed in a discussion panel that Robocop ended up as good as it was by sheer accident - they really had no clue what they were doing.

If anything, I have learned while working 24+ years in game industry, it is that 99% games are made by accident. It's rare that anyone ever has any clue what the hell is it that they are actually doing. So I would not be so surprised if the same applied on movie making. I was once involved in creation of tv series as well, and that also was complete anarchy and chaos (but it ended up well).

Just wondering.

[BareKnuckleRoo]

If anything, I have learned while working 24+ years in game industry, it is that 99% games are made by accident.

I'd agree that a lot of fantastic games are often sheer luck or by accident, and are experiments that simply happen to work out well. I'd disagree with it being such a high number though - there are game devs who genuinely have a good grasp of what works and what doesn't, and have the talent to put out consistently good quality games.

Crimzon Clover and Monolith for instance were shmups made by people with a history of playing shmups and it clearly shows in the game design and polish, and attention to detail.

But there's obviously a lot out there that kinda throws whatever shit at the wall in hopes it will stick, and even more stuff that's genuinely great that gets missed simply because it got overlooked by the market due to poor marketing or is let down by technical stuff like poor netcode. Case in point, Risk of Rain: great game when played offline, prone to crashing constantly when played online, never has had stable netcode.

[Vanguard]

"Canon" is just a fan conceit, not a property that works have or are capable of having. Arguing over whether a particular work is "canon" or "non-canon" is like arguing whether it's "panties" or "non-panties", "Germany" or "non-Germany", "dodosisboom" or "non-dodosisboom." Neither side can ever prove their case, because the distinction exists only in their mind.

The truth is that none of the Zelda games are "canon", and they're not retellings of a legend either. They're stories that various video game company employees made up.

Yeah, the idea that some fictitious stories are what really happened and that others are just imaginary even within the context of being fictitious is very silly. I don't know why people take it seriously.

[Squire Grooktook]

Yeah, the idea that some fictitious stories are what really happened and that others are just imaginary even within the context of being fictitious is very silly. I don't know why people take it seriously.

That there is a concreteness to a story is important to the suspension of disbelief and agreement between storyteller and audience.

If I think the ending of King Lear is too sad, I'm not supposed to just stop reading/watching and then write my own happy end fanfiction. I could, nothing is stopping me, but treating stories in such a way would destroy their emotional power and impact. It's part of the ritual of imagination. What the author says happens, happens.

When a sequel comes out - technically a separate work - it is easier to say "they fucked it up, ruined the ending. This shouldn't be part of the story, so I'm imagining it's not". But I can still empathize with people who feel that the direction the author takes is inviolable and that a terrible continuation really can ruin a story.

[Mischief Maker]

If I think the ending of King Lear is too sad, I'm not supposed to just stop reading/watching and then write my own happy end fanfiction.

Why not?

[dan76]

Yeah, the idea that some fictitious stories are what really happened and that others are just imaginary even within the context of being fictitious is very silly. I don't know why people take it seriously.

I don't understand this obsession with "canon" either. None of it is real. It's fucking ridiculous. The first OT Star Wars films happened, I love them, but now I'm supposed to think Hayden Christensen is Darth Vader - fuck that. It's the Green Cross Code Man. His whole motivation in becoming Darth Vader in those films is terrible. Alec Guiness's few lines of dialogue are all I need, that's the reality for me.

With that in mind, this Solo movie isn't Han Solo's origin, it's just someone's idea of his origin, some of which is pretty good. But it has absolutely nothing to do with the Star Wars film that came out in 1977.

[Mischief Maker]

Canon is the only reason anyone paid attention to this flick.

If people wanted more Han Solo, their hunger would have been long since sated by the likes of Firefly or Guardians of the Galaxy, etc.

Man I wish Guardians of the Galaxy wasn't obligated to be part of the Avengersverse, those films managed to sneak under the radar and really have a voice of their own outside of the standard Disney "bland with snark" template, especially part 2.