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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 12:51 pm 


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I've copied this from Reddit, it a leak of the whole film. Normally I hate spoilers, but with this I'm not too fussed, and since reading it I've forgotten most of it. It's my super power.
BEWARE!!!
Spoiler: show
SPOILERS!
While this is a spoiler friendly subreddit, I'm going to flag this as a spoiler post and warn anyone that doesn't want to know what happens in the film to turn back now. If you are spoiler averse and decide to continue reading, it's your own fault from here on out. If you are pro-spoilers, please do not share details of this post with anyone that does not want to be spoiled themselves. Without any further preamble...

As stated in a previous leak, it's been reiterated to me that we will indeed be getting young Luke and Leia flashbacks in TROS. One in particular appears to be the opening of the movie no less. We begin the action by seeing one of, if not the final training lesson between Luke and Leia. Leia is giving up her Jedi training due to the fact that she's pregnant with a son. My source on this mentioned a fight, so I believe that we may be getting Leia and Luke in a lightsaber duel toward the beginning of the film.
Picking up in the current point in the timeline. Leia appears to have taken up the mantel of Jedi mentor to Rey in the wake of Luke's passing.

Note: This will likely coincide with the scene from the D23 First Look where Rey throws here lightsaber at a training remote and cuts down a tree.

Early on in the film, we catch up with Kylo's story where he is "slaughtering" people with the purpose of tracking down one of the film's McGuffins, a device known as the "wayfinder".

I'm told that the clip of Kylo body slamming someone into the floor of a forest bathed in red light seen in the teaser. I'm also told that this planet is called "Exogol" (don't quote me on the spelling).
Kylo obtains the wayfinder from "The Oracle"and finds it to contain coordinates to a point in the Unknown Regions. The wayfinder that Kylo is given once belonged to his grandfater.

Using the coordinates found within the wayfinder device, Kylo arrives in the Unknown Regions. Here, Kylo encounters Emperor Palpatine. How Palpatine is still alive and how he ended up in the Unknown Regions is still a mystery to me that I hope to learn more about in the next few months (Note: Daisy Ridley recently said in an interview that it's explained in the film), but my source on this tells me that this is indeed Palpatine in the flesh. Kylo and Palpatine's conversation apparently centers around ordering Kylo to find Rey and bring her to the Emperor with the goal of turning her to the dark side.
Note: It's not lost on me that this part of the story feels very Return of the Jedi inspired, but we'll just crack on and see how this all pans out.

My source specifically mentioned that Palpatine is very old and decrepit at this point, possibly on the verge of death. A little bit of Googling reveals that Palpatine is thought to have been born around 84 BBY making him in the neighborhood of 113 years old by the events of The Rise of Skywalker. His goal in luring Kylo to him and converting Rey to darkness is more or less to have Rey and Kylo inherit his "new Empire" and for them to rule it together.

In order to facilitate bringing about this "new Empire", Palpatine has spent his 30 years of PTO creating a fleet of "Death Star Destroyers" (Note: I don't know if this is their actual name or not. Personally, I hope not, it's bit on the nose) which appear to be exactly what they sound like. Star Destroyers with Death Star tech mounted on them, giving them the capability to destroy a planet. (Note: Apparently once this particular technology was unleashed 30 some odd years ago, that Pandora's box can't be shut again).According to my source, these star destroyers make up the "Sith Fleet" that house the new red Sith Troopers that were showcased at SDCC in July.

Note: I wrote this prior to the First Look being shown and the fleet has since been confirmed. It's comprised of Imperial star destroyers hiding in the Unknown Regions and we see what appears to be their planet destroying capabilities during the reel.

Enough about Rey and Kylo, let's get back to the rest of the Resistance. Apparently we catch up with Finn and Poe returning to the jungle planet depicted in some of the behind the scenes images shown at Celebration. The duo has been in contact with an informant from within the First Order. The mole has told Finn and Poe about Kylo coming into possession of the "wayfinder".

Note: It's unclear to me if anyone in the Resistance understands what the "wayfinder" is or where it leads. They just want to find it.

Poe and Finn tell Leia about this and she sends Rey, Chewbacca, C-3PO and the other droids to accompany them on the mission. In order to get them going on their quest, Leia puts them in contact with someone on Pasaana (The desert planet, filmed in Jordan)

It's at this point in the story where the Resistance team makes their way to the desert planet seen in the teaser and behind the scenes footage. It's revealed that Leia's contact is Lando Calrissian. Lando points them toward another one of our McGuffins, a "Sith artifact" that apparently turns out to be a dagger. This dagger has some sort of writing on it that 3PO can’t decipher.

Note: My source understands this to be a "Sith language". That description is pretty vague for me, but the key point is sound. Heroes find dagger, dagger has writing on it that 3PO can't read.

It’s during our heroes time on Passana that Kylo initiates a Force mind link between himself and Rey. Through their connection Kylo discovers where Rey and the Resistance crew are and leaves to pursue them. Eventually Kylo and the Knights of Ren arrive and begin to attack our heroes. One thing leads to another and the Resistance crew gets outnumbered and they are forced to make their escape on an old ship leaving the Millennium Falcon behind. Kylo recovers the Falcon and takes it back to his Star Destroyer.

As previously mentioned, 3PO is confronted with a challenge he is not equipped to handle. The artifact found on Passana contains a language that 3PO can’t translate without modifications. In order to modify 3POs programming, Poe brings the team to the wintery planet seen in the teaser (Kijimi per the Vanity Fair article). There C-3PO is modified to allow translation of the artifact. I'm told that the modification is done by a small alien (possibly the one pictured in Image A of my post from 6 months ago. I'm not 100% sure on that, but confident enough in who told this to me that I'm willing to put it out there)Once translatable the dagger supposedly reveals information regarding a second wayfinder, this one having belonged to Emperor Palpatine himself, leading the team to journey to the forest moon of Endor.

Note: My sources tell me that the scene from the First Look reel showing 3PO with red eyes connects to this event. The Red eyes are part of the "hack" that allows him to translate the "Sith language".

During the events leading to the modification of 3PO on the wintery planet, Kylo initiates another Force connection between he and Rey. Kylo supposedly uses this as an opportunity to begin forcing Rey down the path of darkness. He does this by antagonizing Rey. Kylo tells her that he knows about the dagger and what it was once used for. Kylo apparently tells her that this dagger was used to murder Rey’s parents. Kylo maintains that her parents are nobodies in the grand story. This angers Rey and she lashes out at Kylo and a lightsaber duel ensues. Rey is on Kijimi and Kylo is on his Star Destroyer. According to my source no flashes of any additional locations are seen during this fight (possibly in the film at all, but we'll see). Ren keeps the link alive long enough to learn Rey’s location and eventually peruses her in his Star Destroyer like before.

Zori Bliss is introduced sometime during their time on this planet.
Note: My sources told me that she has history with Poe prior to Keri Russell saying the same thing in an interview days ago. What this history may be is still a mystery to me right now.

Once Kylo arrives, our gang of heroes decide to sneak aboard and attempt to recover the Falcon prior to leaving. The rescue plan goes awry and the whole group gets captured by the First Order. It’s at this point that two major things happen:

It’s revealed that Hux is the First Order mole that has been feeding the Resistance information and he allows the heroes to escape while Kylo is distracted by dueling with Rey in person.
During this duel, Kylo adds another wrinkle to Rey’s backstory. He maintains that while her parents are nobodies, her grandparents (more specifically her grandfather) wasn’t. Kylo tells Rey that she is the granddaughter of Papatine. This explains his interest in bringing the random nobody from Jakku into the fold. The crew recovers the Falcon, Rey reconnects with them and they all flee.

Following her battle aboard the Star Destroyer and escape on the Falcon. Rey uses the newly gleaned information resulting from 3POs modifications and the translation of the dagger to travel to Endor. At this time, it’s a little unclear to me how Kylo gets from point A to point B, but supposedly he is waiting for Rey in Palpatine’s throne room aboard the wreckage of the second Death Star.

(Note: I assume he knows the location of the second wayfinder due to his newfound connection to Palpatine, but that's just speculation on my part. I think it's important to note that Kylo may have been there before considering that he had the charred helmet of Vader in TFA.)

Naturally, they fight. The specifics of this duel are unknown to me, but what I have been told about it is that it’s at this point when Rey begins to tap into some hatred to gain the upper hand and eventually defeats Kylo (Note: possibly destroying his lightsaber in the process, but that's more rumor than leak at the moment), leaving him for dead on the wreckage of the Death Star. Rey takes possession of Palpatine's wayfinder and leaves.

My sources tell me that the "Dark Rey" moment seen in the D23 footage is in fact a vision (described to me as thematically similar to Luke seeing himself as Vader in the cave on Dagobah). This apparently is a short sequence that happens right after Rey picks up Palpatine's wayfinder.

While lying in the wreckage of the Death Star weakened state Kylo Ren reportedly sees a vision of his father.

(Note: It’s unclear to me if Han appears as a bona fide ghost or just through the magic of injury induced hallucinations, but this interaction supposedly acts as Kylo’s “come to Jesus” moment.) Han tells Kylo that it’s never too late to change and when he leaves Endor, he leaves not as Kylo Ren, but as Ben Solo.
This duel is a critical tipping point for Rey as well. I’m told that in the wake of her confrontation with Kylo, she takes the wayfinder and flees to Ahch-to to collect her thoughts. Her mindset is reportedly mirror Luke’s while he was there prior to and during the events of The Last Jedi. The vision of a possible dark future for herself in conjunction fact that she nearly killed Kylo scared Rey in the same way that considering killing Ben in his sleep scared Luke many years prior. She feared the path she was headed down and decides to swear off the Jedi, exiling herself on Ahch-to. Rey scuttles the ship she used to get there just like Luke once did and she caps it all off by casting Anakin's reconstructed lightsaber toward her ship. Just when it looks like the Jedi Order is going to end (again), the specter of Luke Skywalker appears to Rey, holding her discarded lightsaber and does what all good Force ghosts do; gives our hero the resolve to do what needs to be done. Finish the work Luke began over 30 years earlier and put an end to the Emperor for good. According to my source, Luke passes on Leia’s lightsaber to Rey.

(Note: I don't know where it came from, where it's been all this time, or how Luke is able to give it to Rey, but what I can tell you (with only about 50% confidence at this point) is that Leia's blade is supposedly blue.)

Bolstered by her conversation with Luke, Rey takes Leia's lightsaber, transmits the location of the Sith fleet to the Resistance before heading out herself.

On the subject of Force ghosts, Luke makes another appearance around the time of Rey and Kylo’s crises of faith. Back at the main Resistance base, Leia is on her deathbed. My source describes it to me like Yoda’s death in Return if the Jedi, nothing bad happened, it was just her time to go. Luke has come to says goodbye, but before it all ends for Leia, he has one final lesson for her...

From what I've been able to put together, the final act of the film is structured like this:
Rey leaves Ahch-to and travels to the Sith fleet in the Unknown Regions. Eventually the Resistance fleet arrives and battle ensues. Somehow, Rey finds her way to The Emperor who has been waiting for her. Palpatine confirms that what Kylo told her was true. Apparently after his defeat at DSII, Palpatine was shaken by the fact that he wasn't able to maintain his hold on Vader or seduce Luke to the darkness due to their familial bond. During the course of their conversation Palpatine makes reference to this bond between Vader and Luke and likens it to his bond with Rey hoping that whatever familial connection they have will be enough to win her over and become as strong as that of the Skywalkers.

Note: What my source described next feels very reminiscent of RotJ. Rey is trapped in The Emperor’s throne room, watching two opposing fleets battle while she is helplessly gazes onward. It’s at this point that Kylo/Ben reappears. How we get to this next part is still a bit fuzzy to me, but apparently Ben and Rey join forces and begin attacking Palpatine. Leia's lightsaber comes back into play when Rey and Kylo share the Skywalker lightsabers throughout their fight. At some point the Emperor overpowers them both and supposedly kills Ben.

(Note: there have been reports from other reputable leakers that Kylo kind of/sort of dies, but my source on this seemed pretty unambiguous. Personally, I think we'll just have to wait and see what we learn over the next few months.) When it looks like all Hope is lost, the ghosts of Luke and Leia show up to aid Rey. Together they overpower the Emperor and end his darkness once and for all.

As for what the other members of the Resistance are doing at this point, they are engaged in a space battle against Palpatine's fleet lead by General Pryde. The Resistance's goal is supposedly to take out the flagship, severing communications and making navigation out of the Unknown Regions impossible. The flagship is destroyed around the same time that the Emperor dies.

The last thing I was told is regarding the final sequence of the film. I don’t why, but our heroes travel to Tatooine. During these scenes, it is supposedly revealed that Rey has cannibalized Anakin/Luke's lightsaber and Leia's to make one of her own that supposedly has a yellow/gold blade. She buries the leftover pieces on the grounds of the former Lars homestead. The final shots of the Skywalker saga allegedly echo how the adventure began in ‘77, our heroes gazing at the horizon dreaming of the future as twin suns set in the distance.


So if that actually is the movie, it doesn't sound too bad to me. There is some stuff in there that's awful
Spoiler: show
Force ghosts helping out in a fight, but that was originally supposed to happen in Jedi. Thank Christ it didn't as it would've been shit, same here
but it better than the previous two films. I also think some of it must be wrong as there's a bit too much back and forth, sounds like a 4 hour movie. Reshoot are going on so maybe it's to consolidate things.
I'm now at the same point I was just before TFA, I don't want the new film to suck as bad as the previous one. I'd take a mildly good film right now.
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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 2:06 pm 


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Thanks for the spoiler tags. I guess I still prefer to spend money and be disappointed in a dark room.
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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Wed Dec 18, 2019 8:20 pm 


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Oh no.

https://rottentomatoes.com/m/star_wars_ ... _skywalker

58%. Looks like a major league stinker. Not that I ever had any intentions of seeing it.


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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Wed Dec 18, 2019 8:37 pm 


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Crumbs! I thought the Half In The Bag was out. Well, here is my review, to pass the wait.

I can't believe Sam Jackson uses his shiny bald head to reflect C3PO's dick laser right into Yoda's mouth.
98/100


Spoiler: show
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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2019 3:10 am 


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Yeah they are shitting all over it. Then again, The Last Jedi has like 92% on Rotten Tomatoes. WTF is up w/ that?
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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2019 3:34 am 


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Yeah, I was talking to some buds about this earlier. I have no understanding of what the general populace likes and hates with Star Wars.


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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2019 4:50 am 


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I'm kind of glad that they will stop milking this shit for a while hopefully. Kind of nice to see Disney get punched in the dick once in a while. I almost walked out of the last one so I had no interest in this but it's nice validation that just making a machine to pump out films still doesn't work 100% of the time.
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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2019 5:24 am 


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Sometimes, I think back to the fact that they decided for some unholy reason to rotate directors for each film for no reason, giving each one full permission to overwrite the last one's plans...and I stand in awe.
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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2019 7:19 am 


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Squire Grooktook wrote:
Sometimes, I think back to the fact that they decided for some unholy reason to rotate directors for each film for no reason, giving each one full permission to overwrite the last one's plans...and I stand in awe.


Not just directors: writers as well. This will go down as one of the most royal fuck ups in cinematic history. That's my true irk -- had they had a team write all three they could have had... wait for it... arcs that spanned the three films.
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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2019 8:25 am 


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Well then, that was a little embarassing.
Rise of Skywalker is just a bunch of childish, dumb scenes with clumsy dialogue and absolutely no sense of pacing.
It really does seem like no one cares anymore, because while it somehow manages to be a coherent story in spite of the massive executive structure of a Disney production, it also suffers from the fact that no one bothered stepping in and try to fix any individual scene. One might wonder why they even bothered investing so much money into a project like this if they don't care about the output.

I think it's gonna avoid the heavy backlash TLJ met, because outside of the whole
Spoiler: show
Palpatine
thing, it really doesn't make any dumb major decisions. But on the other hand, it also has absolutely nothing else going for it.


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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2019 11:52 am 


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Sumez wrote:
Rise of Skywalker is just a bunch of childish, dumb scenes with clumsy dialogue and absolutely no sense of pacing.

While true, that’s also Star Wars in a nutshell, especially the Lucas-directed parts. The sole exception is probably Empire.

I’m quite sure not caring much about the franchise helped with the reception, but I left the theater feeling entertained. That may not sound like much, but it’s more than I took away from some other movies I‘ve watched lately.

Spoiler: show
Also, undead Sith haven‘t been a thing since Dark Forces II, so I welcome the return.

Spoiler: show
Also, I couldn’t avoid a puerile chuckle when the rebels started castrating the huge erect penis lasers of the Last Order’s star destroyers.


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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2019 12:13 pm 


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Herr Schatten wrote:
While true, that’s also Star Wars in a nutshell

Yeah, for this reason I think the movie fits decently into its context. The original trilogy has no lack of silly ideas.
That said, they absolutely do have an expert sense of pacing, something that's completely lacking in the new one. It just doesn't have the heart and soul that those movies did.


Last edited by Sumez on Thu Dec 19, 2019 12:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2019 12:20 pm 


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I thought Rise of the Skywalker was perfectly satisfying ending to the saga, and good entertainment for two hours. It's not perfect, but at this point my expectations were lowered almost to zero. It sure is best of all the new Star Wars movies, at least to me.

Ignore the critics and go see for yourself.


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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2019 6:14 pm 


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I keep saying this, but the original trilogy was just Kurosawa's "The Hidden Fortress" with its plot elements expanded into a Buck Rogers serial, all the way down to the villain saving the day in the end.

All the spinoff attempts focused on the set dressing, which is why they all failed.

There's a big difference between a film about samurais with laser swords and a film about laser swords with samurais.
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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2019 6:25 pm 


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Mischief Maker wrote:
I keep saying this, but the original trilogy was just Kurosawa's "The Hidden Fortress" with its plot elements expanded into a Buck Rogers serial, all the way down to the villain saving the day in the end.

All the spinoff attempts focused on the set dressing, which is why they all failed.

There's a big difference between a film about samurais with laser swords and a film about laser swords with samurais.


There's also the earnest spiritual elements and campbellian influence, which I think is important.

What these stories need is just a high, classical concept. OT was Heroes Journey, and did it well. PT could've been Hamartia, but did it bad. NuTrilogy should've been a redemption story focusing on Finn with an arc to that effect, but they didn't really have any idea of what they wanted to do.
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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2019 8:14 pm 


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This guy's sentiments do reflect a lot of my own thoughts on franchise milking - "don't obsess over a particular franchise, focus on what made you fall in love with the franchise in the first place."

Quote:
I keep saying this, but the original trilogy was just Kurosawa's "The Hidden Fortress" with its plot elements expanded into a Buck Rogers serial, all the way down to the villain saving the day in the end.

All the spinoff attempts focused on the set dressing, which is why they all failed.


Its trappings are very robust - it's a patchwork of a ton of things. From Westerns to movie Gangsters to Samurai flicks, from Lawrence of Arabia to Metropolis. Everything from the laser sword on up was taken from something else.

It's very similar to the stone soup that Dungeons and Dragons was while it was being developed - a bunch of nerds wanted to cram everything that they thought was cool into their setting whether it fit or not. Basilisks? In. Two-headed ogres? In. Kung-fu? Oh you bet your ass that's going in. (But they didn't get energy beams since this was way before Dragon BallZzzzz.)

Star Wars was an amalgamation of a just-bygone era's tropes and trappings. To actually do what it did isn't accomplished by jamming the screen full of AT-ATs, but by jamming a film full of pop-culture stuff that the writer thinks is cool from when he was a kid.

In modern times I guess that means ripping off more modernish fare, like Terminator, Back to the Future, Alien, Space Pocahontas, Robocop, Black Mirror, etc. It would be a very, very different movie from Star Wars, but it would share the same basic idea at its nucleus.

Quote:
clumsy dialogue

Quote:
lucas


I always remember Mark saving some of the talky-talky bits.

GaijinPunch wrote:
Yeah they are shitting all over it. Then again, The Last Jedi has like 92% on Rotten Tomatoes. WTF is up w/ that?


That's professional critics. Audience score is 43%.

That amazing power of money to raise scores among the people on their payroll and mysteriously reduce the age rating of some things that should be NC-17.


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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2019 9:31 pm 


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BryanM wrote:


2m17s oh god :shock: Look at George's little face! I'm experiencing surprise painful feels!

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HOW CAN THEY PUBLICALLY LASH JYOJI-SAN SO (;`ω´;)

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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Fri Dec 20, 2019 4:22 am 



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I watched it yesterday.

Ooh, the last battle was really painful to watch. When one side had the advantage almost minimal damage done, when the other side got the advantage they could have thrown a stick and it would have blown up a whole ship. You have scenes where the good guys run at full speed with zero protection shooting down storm troopers with bullseye shots one after the other after the other. I'm pretty sure battle tactics 101 is "hide behind something strongly built".

Imagine Saving Private Ryans beach run. In Star Wars the good guys would run off the boats and within 2 minutes have killed all the Nazis.

The thing about the OT is that somehow George masked this pretty well. Storm troopers were weak, but the good guys were still scared of them, thats good writing. They didn't LOL and say "just shoot anywhere it will hit them right in the head". In every scene in this Disney trilogy the storm troopers are only standing for the first 3 seconds of the scene when a battle starts.

Star Wars needs strong writing... If I was given the task of writing this trilogy I would have gone with a brand new enemy, possibly even gotten the Final Order to be allies with the good guys. It would still have wars, it would have had new beginnings, sufferings and character arcs and the old guard could have played just as big a part in it as the new guard.

Oh well, I guess regurgitation, flimsy characters and pathetic battle logic wins out. Sometimes the Disney way is not the best way.
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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Fri Dec 20, 2019 8:29 am 


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Yeah I noticed the same thing, but I thought I could brush it off. I mean, "storm trooper accuracy" is a trope that goes hand in hand with the Star Wars franchise for obvious reasons. But the fact that it stuck out to both of us is definitely a sign that it could have been handled better.

Actually one thing I liked about TFA is how it tried to rectify that right away by starting out with a scene in which storm troopers were both effective and terrifying. Even having just a little of that is usually enough to justify liberally trashing them later. In RoS they definitely seemed comically useless.

In general, Rise of Skywalker completely lacked any scenes trying to raise the stake or indicate a threat. The movie is just good guys bashing bad guys right from the get-to.


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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Fri Dec 20, 2019 1:53 pm 


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As a doohickey-hunting, wizard-battling b-film with AAA production, this was passable. It's frequently beautiful, as in the forlorn grasslands of Kef Bir, and has a few striking setpieces. I particularly liked

Spoiler: show
the darkened throne room, held for a long uneasy stretch, before a hideous uproar of chanting and metallic screeching reveals it as the heart of a black Sith mass. Although everything subsequent was utter guff, that was a convincingly wicked atmosphere. Reminded me a bit of the Queen's lair from Aliens.

The path to Exogol was a fine hellish glimpse, too, and capped off by some decent shmupping (something this trilogy has consistently managed, at the least). Shame they didn't build up the concept of a secret deathworld full of planet-killing technology over three films. It feels even more comically casual than TFA's equivalent.

Not that Palpatine was needed for any of this, obviously. I almost like how blase the writing is about his return. Right in the title crawl, lmao.


A cartoonish retread, reliant on baddies marshalling titanic feats of industry to zero explanation or notice, much like TFA. After TLJ's debilitating mix of onanism, idiocy and tedium, I'm alright with that. As its trilogy's conclusion, I found certain elements more enjoyable than ROTJ's Ewok-afflicted equivalents.

Spoiler: show
God damn did obligatory Fat X-Wing Pilot get it bad.


Set expectations to "it's magic, I ain't gotta explain shit."

Also, if you want to save your money, watch this excellent summary. (obvious spoilers).

Now to enjoy the fallout. Image

neorichieb1971 wrote:
battle logic


GREAT track https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsW0pKRkZqo Got that rugged lockstep funk from Metal Slug's Ridge 256. Image
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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Sat Dec 21, 2019 4:23 pm 


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Went to see it last night. I kind of enjoyed it. Given that it had to follow The Last Jedi and also accepting for better or worse that we have these specific characters - Rey, Finn, Poe and Kylo - I think it did an ok job.

The fact that there was no overarching story from the get go, or if there was Rian Johnson was allowed to shit on it, is really damning of Disney and the producers in general. Plus, JJ was also one to the producers on TLJ, so he could've altered it to some degree. They didn't, it is what it is, so this film was starting from a weak point. If someone else had made this instead of JJ I think a lot of reviewers would be more charitable about it.

Stuff I liked
Spoiler: show
was that it introduces Palpatine straight away. No fucking about. Very bold, as if to say, this is what we are doing, get with it or piss off. Palpatine looked like a zombie and McDiarmids performance was one of the highlights of the film. From that straight into the Falcon hyper skipping, great.

They have to get a thing which leads to another thing etc, all ok. A bit shit, but ok. C3-PO was great in this, his memory being wiped was fun, as was the little fella who did it. Brilliant scene with Rey fighting Kylo on the wrecked Death Star, with Rey almost killing him. I think their story was well handled and Adam Driver was very good. Even the scene with Han Solo worked.

The new characters were ok, didn't spend too much time introducing them, the film just shot along. I liked that Hux was the spy, it made sense. Richard E Grant was also pretty good. Lando's introduction felt authentic.


So the first two thirds I really liked. Some of the scenes were a bit patchy, especially Leia. I don't think she should've been it this. All her scenes felt awkward. Anyhow, what I didn't like was

Spoiler: show
Rey disappearing off to Ach-Too once she finds out she's a Palpatine. That seemed really forced and there was no way she was going to just stay there. Dumb plotting. It ok for her to be spun out by the fact she's the Emperors daughter, but to go and do a Luke and hide away from the Force? Nah. Plus the scene with Mark Hamill was crap.

Then she goes and confronts Palpatine and Kylo helps her whilst there's a space battle outside. It's basically a rerun of the end of Return of the Jedi. The space battle was meaningless, loads of ships appearing out of nowhere just because. Garbage. That whole sequence was a mess. What was happening could've been handled much better, but this is where the film really moved too fast to have any impact. They even repeat a shot on Endor with the Ewoks looking up to a big explosion and it looks like they're thinking "didn't we do this already?" Rey is a Palpatine, whatever. They're grasping at straws to give this Trilogy any meaning.

Then Rey goes to Tatooine and sees a Force ghost of Luke and Leia which looks so damn cheesy and cheap it ruins any kind of "emotional" payoff. She also calls herself a Skywalker... weird. The nding was way too rushed and compared to the bold opening it kind of lost its confidence by leaning too heavily on the OT again


It didn't fuck up Star Wars the way TLJ did with hyperspace bomb ships or that kind of guff. It didn't ruin characters, it makes sense and works in a straight forward way. None of it matters as nothing can touch those original 3 films. I can ignore Lucas prequels and also ignore these. I'll propbably go see it one more time, but that will be enough forever!
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Last edited by dan76 on Sun Dec 22, 2019 1:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Sat Dec 21, 2019 6:39 pm 


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57% critics rating and 6/10 average audience rating looks surprising. Are IX really that bad or people are biased as ever?

I'll watch this maybe Monday tommorrow. I only watch previous films once so idk if I could remember these characters :lol:
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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Sun Dec 22, 2019 6:37 am 


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The Rise of Skywalker is a very bad movie. Not as bad as The Last Jedi, but still absolute tosh. Little more than a series of overlong video game cutscenes replete with supposedly charming characters bickering with each other, attempting to crack jokes and shouting exposition. Every action scene failed to carry any dramatic weight and fell completely flat. The only thing positive thing I have to say about this movie (aside from the exemplary special effects and sound editing) is that C3PO was very entertaining and likable throughout. He was the only character that was able to make me genuinely laugh. Poe Dameron is insufferable in this film, even though I really liked him in The Force Awakens. The cameos felt cheap and token. I'm glad this trilogy is over.
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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Mon Dec 23, 2019 1:49 am 


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Way better than TLJ. Obviously had a lot of problems, but I think after the fist fuck of episode 8 it had a lot to do to recover. Dan76's sum up is pretty spot on -- the last 1/3 stuff didn't bother me as much as it did him but oh well. I wasn't really emotionally invested in this.
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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Mon Dec 23, 2019 2:22 pm 


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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Mon Dec 23, 2019 2:41 pm 


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Best part was Mike desperately trying to distance himself from Plinkett's comments back in the day. :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Mon Dec 23, 2019 3:21 pm 


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Watched this recently. I found this is 1/2 entertaining and 1/2 disappointing.

I agree with BIL about the ending, I think this is how ROTJ ending should have been except the
Spoiler: show
Rey Skywalker
part that I found weird and headscratching.

And the last battle was ummmm, uh oh that was almost no different that the whole shonen anime's every good guys final attack. I'm afraid that Disney perhaps don't give a fuck about PT as
Spoiler: show
none of those guys sans Palpy appearing on-screen, voiceover only is kindof cheap way to throwback
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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Mon Dec 23, 2019 6:24 pm 


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Udderdude wrote:
Best part was Mike desperately trying to distance himself from Plinkett's comments back in the day. :lol:


When IS the Plinkett review of these? I've never needed anything so badly before.
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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Mon Dec 23, 2019 7:58 pm 


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The first two already got the Plinkett treatment.


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 Post subject: Re: Star Wars Episode IX released 12/20/2019
PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2019 5:18 am 


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Plinkett 1
Plinkett 2

At least these crummy new movies have this much going for them (that goes for Terminator and Ghostbusters, too!). Keeping Milwaukee's economy afloat in troubled times! Image

copy-paster wrote:
And the last battle was ummmm, uh oh that was almost no different that the whole shonen anime's every good guys final attack.


It was lame as all hell. No creativity, no guts, no payoff. These sad sacks need to read some muhfuckin JoJo.

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Only one thing for it, tbh. Sieg Zeon!

Spoiler: show
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Spoiler: show
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^ Lost Stars adaptation. I always get roped into this stuff. It seems pretty good though!

GIF is just this, but its formidable mise-en-scene, charismatic cinematography and Thunder Force guitars will make your weiner stand up better than anything Disney have managed! I guarantee it! Image
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