Prelude to the Apocalypse

[BIL]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4k4pMTsa1Kw
"Don't worry, I got your backside"

Things that probably aren't Chinese:

• Sushi
  Saying "Konnichiwa"
  Tibet

Jesus. I'd almost wonder if he'd been paid off... but I watched most of Brass Eye assuming its saps were in on it, before realising they were earnestly reporting paedophiles are part crab and can make your PC speakers emit mind control fumes.

"In posing as an Israeli agent, (Cohen) pretended to offer self-defense exercises. As uncomfortable as I was to participate, I agreed to, understanding that these 'techniques' were meant to help me and others fend off what I believed was an inevitable attack."

I'LL TOUCH YOU AND MAKE YOU A HOMOSEXUAL! USA, USA! (・｀W´・)

[gameoverDude]

With Trump's recent barbs at Sessions & the Russia Probe, I feel that Trump may well be guilty of something, & that he is even afraid that it could surface at some time as Mueller's investigation goes on. Why else would he raise so much hell about it? If he's innocent, he shouldn't really be so bothered by it, right?

[Specineff]

The problem is that it's wasting time and money to besmirch a perfectly innocent man in a case where there's NO COLLUSION, instead of going after true convicted undoubtedly crook Hillary and Uranium One Pizzagate Server Emails hurr, durr. That's the real tragedy.

In other (totally fake and made up in order to discredit glorious orange leader) news, a federal judge (What do they know about the law, anyway?) issued an order that DACA must be restored, with a 20-day wait to allow DHS to formulate an actual reason why it should be stopped:

https://www.cnn.com/2018/08/03/politics ... index.html

[BryanM]

Crazy couple o' weeks.

Man tries to get off our kill list.

Macron's assistant chief of staff dressed up like a cop so he could beat the shit out of protesters whining about Macron destroying their livelihoods. His punishment for this was a one week's paid vacation followed by a raise.

Moviepass is a hilarious example of the non-profitable website that somehow has stock worth more than $0. For those unfamiliar with the site, let me tell you their business model: you pay them a $10 monthly subscription fee, and then they pay for your movie tickets. They've recently added a new term to their service that limits a user to 3 films per month, which means instead of losing hundreds of dollars per customer, they're only losing around 14 bux a month per customer. Somehow this made the "stock rally". This whole affair goes far beyond a moneyhole like Twitter, which at least serves its role as a propaganda outlet for astroturf.

Elon Musk used a bunch of kids trapped in a cave as a publicity stunt. Offering a kiddie-sized submarine to navigate dark, tight underwater caverns that even divers have trouble squeezing through without dying. When called out on this by a rescue diver, he called the man a pedophile.

In the past year, MSNBC covered Covered Stormy Daniels 455 Times, the War in Yemen zippo. Did you guys know there's a war in Yemen? That we're helping out with? It's a thing.

Claire is still a corrupt piece of shit, but most of them are so it's hardly news.

Here in Oklahoma, they have this anti-consumer law that makes it illegal to have optometry centers in Wal-Mart. It's one the few places in the country like this. A proposal is going up to try to change that, and the lobbyists are running ads full of crocodile tears about big bad Wal-Mart trying to kill little 'ole "small business". The cost of a pair of glasses in this state is twice that of all others thanks to the corporate monopolies here.

I actually like that one of Devos's mansions looks like a lovecraftian monstrosity. If I had one complaint, is that it doesn't commit to the nightmare enough. At least have a labyrinth in there somewhere, the Winchester house is showing you up Bets.

CEO of the internet Lowtax was banned from twitter for vowing to "throw a chessboard" at Nancy Pelosi's head if she came downstairs into his basement.

Fluff piece for Biden claims Trump is "most anxious" that Pennsylvania will flip. Some low expectations there; this bar is lower than that one James Cameron found at the bottom of the sea.

[Specineff]

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ri ... 5c73dc492e

Rick Gates admits that both him and Manafort committed several illegal actions like cheating on taxes and hiding foreign bank accounts while working on Trump's campaign. (The audacity! Don't they realize how bad it makes Immaculate Infallible Orange Leader look?????)

But don't worry, the meetings at Trump Tower were all about adoptions! Awww, isn't that nice? Big Orange Leader's family has a big heart, because they TOTALLY DID NOT discuss anything about the election. Aww. <3

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/tr ... 5abaa59948

(Of course, this information dump from the hive of scum and villainy that is Huffington Post has been sponsored by the Deep State (BWA HA HA HA HA!) to keep on controlling the TRUE AND HONEST MAGA patriots by means of mind viruses spread through FAKE NEWS (TM). So it's all fake. Yup. Yes, sir. Yup. Yee-haw. )

[BryanM]

Not quite as many victories yesterday as could be hoped. Though the non-voluntary retirement of Bob McCulloch makes it feel better. And Alex has a take on it that makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. (Not an isolated incident - Usually when she speaks it makes me want to go outside and set some trashcans on fire, while when another politician speaks it makes me want to go into my closet and set myself on fire. It's almost like she's a wizard - aren't politicians supposed to be garbage people that disembowel hope and joy?)

The conservative groups pumping some money toward helping Brent Welder win the primary expecting him to be the weakest candidate in the general was a hoot. I'm terribly saddened that I won't get to see it backfire on them horribly.

This is a time honored strategy that actually hardly ever pays off. You might remember one campaign for an obscure candidate named Clinton that tried the same thing with this obscure fellow named "Donald Trump" (whoever that is).

It's hilarious and pathetically sad that lanyards have so many worms in their brains, that they think "People making minimum wage haven't gotten a raise in 11 years, they deserve a raise" is = to "Raped women don't need access to an abortion, their bodies have a way to shut that down."

[Specineff]

Trump's legal team offers to meet with Mueller's... as long as he doesn't ask too many questions:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xh6fIuFptBw

While two of his "best people" have to answer to a judge about tax evasion, lying to FBI and conspiring with a foreign power:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/pa ... 5abaa912b1

You know, because it's all a witch-hunt based on made up charges, and Hillary Clinton is the crook with Uranium One email server Benghazi lock her up blaaaaargh!

So where are you now, Trumpskis? Why aren't you now singing his praises and quoting your jingoistic slogans because he was the best thing for the country? What, can't your voice go through the paper bag you're wearing? Bwa ha ha ha ha!


"There's virtually no doubt that FBI Director Comey and the great, great special agents of the FBI will be able to collect more than enough evidence to garner indictments against Hillary Clinton and her inner circle, despite her efforts to disparage them and discredit them.

If she were to win this election, it would create an unprecedented constitutional crisis. In that situation, we could very well have a sitting president under felony indictment and ultimately a criminal trial." -Some Orange-tinted Walking and Talking Sphincter, Nov 5, 2016. Reno, Nevada.

[Durandal]

New data makes it clear: Nonvoters handed Trump the presidency

Maybe this is the time for some soul-searching and asking yourself why your voter base didn't vote.

[BryanM]

Nah it's easier to blame Jill Stein and make sure it's always possible to continue to blame the powerless.

These manufactured forever-wars are exhausting. I don't know what the impeach Trump people would even get from winning. Will they fight just as hard to impeach Mike Pence if the impossibility of the senate convicting the man happens? And the 14 additional people we have to chew through after him?

It's obviously a pipe dream, and not their goal. They just want people to stop paying attention to how awful our country and its government really is. Sweep it under the rug, so the worms in the brain stop wiggling so much at night.

(Though... yes. The unnecessary obstruction of justice stuff Trump does is really, really dumb and stupid. It's like he didn't get the memo - the "investigation" is just for show, nothing of consequence will happen to him personally, just a few underlings will have to pay a $1.40 fine, and yet he fired the guy who was put there to protect both him and the existing system.)

[gameoverDude]

New data makes it clear: Nonvoters handed Trump the presidency

Maybe this is the time for some soul-searching and asking yourself why your voter base didn't vote.

This ranked-choice voting idea mentioned midway through the story actually sounds quite good. If no candidate takes more than 50% of a state's vote, the least popular one gets stricken. So if this were in place in 2016, let's say Stein finished last & your ranked choices were 1) Stein 2) Clinton while no one had 50% for that state. With Stein being knocked out, your vote would go down the line to Clinton.

If I blame anything for Hillary losing, it's the Electoral College. It makes the counting process too complicated. The national popular vote is simple & how it should be. Actually, Hillary had quite a bit of Texas (43.24%) but because of the EC she had jack shit to show for it. With 52.23%, Trump took all there. Just goes to show how the EC's winner-take-all by state with "270 to win" is a broken system.

[BryanM]

If I blame anything for Hillary losing, it's the Electoral College.

Besides Hillary Clinton, right?

[Ed Oscuro]

mmm asbestos

[mnneurope]

"I think I'm going to try to do a barrel roll and if that goes good, then I'll just go nose down and call it a night."

props to that airplane stealing American guy for not hurting anyone else, besides him, I mean

also

"Sheriff: This is not a terrorist incident."

no shit Einstein

[Specineff]

US company CaseLabs needs to go into bankruptcy and liquidation in part due to Trump's tariffs:

https://www.pcgamer.com/caselabs-announ ... quidation/

American company needs to find a way to avoid jacking up prices due to Trump's tariffs? Let's tax them more, boycott them, and bring foreign companies to sell their products here in their stead! (Because they TOTALLY will use US-made steel and aluminium in order to make bikes 100% here, right?)

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-harl ... SKBN1KX0J9


Come on, Trumpskis. Go ahead and justify this. Tell me about how he really meant to say another thing and explain his alternative facts to me. You've been pretty quiet as of late; please explain to me how this is so goooooood for the country and the economy. Please. Add some jingoistic talk while you're at it.

[BryanM]

A friday is a weird day to decide to commit suicide. Maybe he dreaded having to mow the lawn or something.

Another historical fact, democrats controlled the house of representatives for nearly all of 62 years. And nearly did as well in the Senate.

The bookend events during this time? The New Deal at the beginning. And NAFTA, at the end.

[gameoverDude]

US company CaseLabs needs to go into bankruptcy and liquidation in part due to Trump's tariffs:

https://www.pcgamer.com/caselabs-announ ... quidation/

American company needs to find a way to avoid jacking up prices due to Trump's tariffs? Let's tax them more, boycott them, and bring foreign companies to sell their products here in their stead! (Because they TOTALLY will use US-made steel and aluminium in order to make bikes 100% here, right?)

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-harl ... SKBN1KX0J9


Come on, Trumpskis. Go ahead and justify this. Tell me about how he really meant to say another thing and explain his alternative facts to me. You've been pretty quiet as of late; please explain to me how this is so goooooood for the country and the economy. Please. Add some jingoistic talk while you're at it.

I had a really bad feeling about this. I didn't wanna be right. Voila, now there are some casualties from this trade war. Who's next?

[BryanM]

The irritating thing about the tariff stuff is nobody is identifying who implemented them. Can't figure out why they exist without seeing who profits from it.

As we've mentioned here before, manufacturing jobs aren't inherently "good" jobs. You only make a glass once, you wash it a thousand times. And these jobs used to be done by four year old children paid a nickel a month. They only became good jobs because we fought and made them into good jobs.

Starting around the mid 1930's. Around the time the democrats started their sixty two year long winning streak. Huh weird.

[Domino]

The irritating thing about the tariff stuff is nobody is identifying who implemented them. Can't figure out why they exist without seeing who profits from it.

As we've mentioned here before, manufacturing jobs aren't inherently "good" jobs. You only make a glass once, you wash it a thousand times. And these jobs used to be done by four year old children paid a nickel a month. They only became good jobs because we fought and made them into good jobs.

Starting around the mid 1930's. Around the time the democrats started their sixty two year long winning streak. Huh weird.

If it means people in NJ are still forced to have someone pump their gas as of 2018, then so beat it. Having a racist party still being racist as of today, then so beat it. Seeing various California/New Jersey/Insert Liberal State here Tags all over the place in FL for work (and kiss those license tags good bye), then so beat it.

Remember, Democrats did lost their winning streak. But with the white folks pleaded guilty today, perhaps you will get your wish. I mean, I will most likely vote for D for Dicksucking on my ballet in November for a good reason.

[Specineff]

Remember, Democrats did lost their winning streak. But with the white folks pleaded guilty today, perhaps you will get your wish. I mean, I will most likely vote for D for Dicksucking on my ballet in November for a good reason.

Who knows. Manafort got convicted on 8 counts, mistrial declared on 10. (Guess Trump will say that because the mistrial verdicts outnumber the convictions, it proves it's a witch hunt, right?) https://www.nbcnews.com/news/all/manafo ... ts-n901231

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE: MICHAEL COHEN PLEADS GUILTY. https://www.cnn.com/2018/08/21/politics ... index.html

Of course, all it takes is for Trump to throw these "good men" under the bus claiming he dindu nofin, thus proving it's a witch hunt, and Hillary Uranium One Mail Server Pizzagate blaaargh.

[BryanM]

It's a witch hunt because normally we don't persecute white collar crime to this degree, you normally have to screw a ton of other rich people in a spectacular and transparent fashion like Bernard Madoff. (Who, similar to rapist Harvey Weinstein, everyone knew was running a scam for years.)

Nothing wrong with a witch hunt anyway, as long as the person in question is indeed a witch. Witches eat children, you know. We should do more of these things. To all lobbyists.

[BryanM]

Democrats ready to fast track a fuckton of corporate judges today. Happening very soon, probably confirmed by the time you get around to reading this.

They have a ton of fight in them against reformists, though.

John Lewis calls mass murderer John McCain "a warrior for peace"

Not the best of days, no.

[Domino]

Oh snap, Andrew Gillum won the Dem Gov Nomination race in FL. A progressive who is running against a Trump shill.

It will be hard road for him to win the race with regards to the following:

* Hidden racism from both White Dems and Repubs. Minorities voted for Gillum, while the whites voted for the other White Dems and Repubs in the race.
* A still very broken Florida Dem Party. The results of this race will be the ultimate test for the Florida Dem Party. They need to get along and support each other 100% fast or they will lose, period. No more Clinton/Sanders BS, because that's how we got da Trump.
* He needs to appeal to voters outside of the Urban areas (which is where he was getting his wins today). There's 67 counties in FL, where the Urban areas are in about 15 counties. Focus too much on Minorities and Urban voters and he will lose the other counties to the Trump Shill. He needs to take the Sander's playbook and go to rural areas (he won't get lucky with the white rural voters, but suprises do happen and this is a popular vote election).
* Needs to appeal hard to the NPA (No-Party Affiliated) voters in Florida, which they are over 3 mill registered NPA voters in this state. They always very swingy, and can make/break elections. NPAs normally are not always hard right or hard left. Will be interesting to see where the NPAs will go to this time, Trump shill or Gillium. A good chunk of them may not even for either since both are hard right and hard left.
* Show businesses that he is still business friendly enough. Talking about increasing the corporate rates will launch the cannons from the businesses in this state. The increase enough might have some leave the state for someplace else. If Rick Demon Scott did one good thing for Florida, he didn't went crazy for taxes. This caused many businesses to move to Florida. In my area of Jax, various businesses came here due to very low taxes. Gillium needs to show a balance.


What Gillum advantages are:

* A Black Progressive who is getting the minority & Urban turnout (similar to Obama).
* Not White.
* Not a centralist. First time a progressive is on the Dem ballot since forever.
* Not rich (everyone else running on both Repubs and Dems are millionaires).
* A nice guy.
* Current mayor of the capital of Florida in Tallahassee.**

**Members of his local city government are being investigated for public corruption. While he is cleared from the investigation, it could bite him in the ass.

[BryanM]

It looks like a coin flip according to the data. Depends on what the national trendline is, and it'd help if he can advertise himself well.

Those white noise political ads where the bastards say nothing of substance like "I'll be fightin' fer you" and "I love the eagle!" don't do anything but waste everyone's time and money, after all.

No more Clinton/Sanders BS, because that's how we got da Trump.

Nah. The Clinton/Obama war was way, way more violent and toxic. Their naked contempt for each other was entertaining.

25% of Clinton voters went full PUMA and voted for McCain that year, versus the pitiful 10% of weak hippy Bernie Bros that defected. It didn't do shit of course, did it? As it turns out, the general electorate is more important as a whole. Maximizing your base and minimizing your opposition is the ideal strategy.

Stuff like telling your base that removing the means-testing on Medicare will "never, ever come to pass" is maybe not the most conductive move. Unless your base hates being alive or is spiteful enough to want to die as long as it kills people they don't like.

FDR had a legion of traitors in the party stabbing him in the dick 24/7 from before day 1, and it never once stopped. It's just how it is, different people have differently sized paychecks.

Democrats ready to fast track a fuckton of corporate judges today. Already confirmed by the time you get around to reading this.

What's comical is how Schumer couldn't even get them to name the cafeteria or whatever after their own guy McCain.

[Steamflogger Boss]

Wasn't sure where to put this shit but it's hilarious and kinda fits since somehow Trump is a good guy in this wacky theory I think. I went ahead and put it all in spoiler tags because it is batshit crazy.

Spoiler

[BryanM]

I feel ashamed because I only put a few hours into my (horrible, by intention and talent) Trump fanfiction. If I pushed on it for a week I could easily wrap it up and it'd be more coherent and entertaining than that ball of crazy.

A problem is this stuff just doesn't age well. Barron Trump's art gallery was hilarious in 2016. But now it's ancient. Timeless, it is not.

Norm Macdonald's comments on the topic of using the Trump prop in comedy are very true.

[BulletMagnet]

Just in case anyone still thought that the current administration is talking any less out of its ass concerning isolationism than it does about anything and everything else, enjoy.

[Steamflogger Boss]

Just in case anyone still thought that the current administration is talking any less out of its ass concerning isolationism than it does about anything and everything else, enjoy.

Anyone that has a single doubt hasn't been paying attention. Good laawwwwd.

[Mischief Maker]

Well that NY Times op-ed by the "secret resistance" inside the White House put the choice between the Democratic and Republican establishment in sharp contrast.

Establishment Dems will do everything in their power to prevent progressives from winning primaries or leadership positions in the organization.

Establishment Republicans will let their base elect any cowboy movie actor or gameshow host they want, then leave the actual government decisions to a privy council of unelectable ghouls like Dick Cheney or Steven Miller.

[BryanM]

Naturally. Genocide is completely acceptable to their donors. The New Deal, is not. The Sanders campaign was such a big deal because it drew a real line in the sand - either you're for the new deal, or you're against it. There are no neutrals there. No way to pretend to believe in imaginary phony "centrism".

The current political activity by the corporatists is kind of depressing. Republicans have taken up "Venezuela!" as the new "Benghazi!" Because their core base is incapable of more than one-word thoughts, perhaps. Every time one of'em uses it, it's just an avalanche of the same kind of thoughts in rebuttal:

* "You know we mean England/Canada/Norway/Every Other First World Country On The Planet, you fucking retard."
* "Is Venezuela really as bad as you say it is? I hear a lot of yappening, don't see a lot actually happening there."
* "Isn't Yemen a substantially worse place to live than Venezuela is? Who's responsible for that, again?"

This aggressively intentional stupidity is why it's worthless to linger long on their bullshiting. It doesn't take an essay to explain why bullshit is bullshit, a couple sentences to take the piss out of it is sufficient for anyone with a half-functional brain. This actually is a good sign that they've got absolutely jack shit to use against The New Deal.

Ah, but the democrats. Obama is already valiantly acting like universal Medicare is a bold new idea (it's older than Medicare itself, you can watch the footage of President Kennedy acknowledging the complaints about the plan - that some people will get it and others are subhumans who don't deserve it). And co-opting and redefining what it is.

Not remotely optimistic about 2020. 2034 is looking alright, though.

[quash]

Just in case anyone still thought that the current administration is talking any less out of its ass concerning isolationism than it does about anything and everything else, enjoy.

Shouldn't you be glad, though? It's looking more like Hillary won every day. We're even sending a small number of ground forces to Syria as I type this. It may very well be another sample serving of the war the elites want to placate them for another year or so, or it could be the real deal. That's probably why you're so upset still, the uncertainty of it all. You don't know whether you should secretly love the guy or not.