Little things that annoy the hell out of you

[BIL]

Grocery shopping during lockdown, over intercom: "Please be understandin that we habe fewer that usual checkouts bcus of CHINESE BAT AIDS" Bitch, you NEVER had more than one checkout open up in this muhfucka, get the fuck outta my face with this shit. Bitch-ass trick cock suckin mother fucker!

Post-lockdown: SAME DAMN SHIT. Old-ass men holdin up the queue with lottery tickets! Motherfucker you ain't gonna win. Only way for those of your station to win? Spread dem cheeks for men of lordly calibre. If you withstand several bummings without goin' slack? Yeah, you might get a bite of that cherry. Otherwise? LMAO.

I feel vindicated. But still LITTLE ANNOY HELLED.

[Blinge]

oh noooe muh tesco so responsible creating JOBS muh economy muh economy.

pscyhe! self checkout time, cunts! now we can sack half the workforce
#winning

probably about 10 years too late with this comment.

I for one love shopping and touching the same shit-smeared screens as everyone else

[Udderdude]

BYOL (Bring your own Lysol).

[null1024]

Man, I am relentlessly glad that Publix isn't doing that shit, unlike every other store these days. Genuinely my favorite grocery in all the places I've visited or lived. If they see a big line start forming, they open another lane. Even the one Publix by me that has a self-checkout area still keeps its actual cashier lanes staffed.
In the meantime, when I go to Target, there are two fucking cashiers at like 17 checkout lanes or some shit and then there is a massive fuck you line of people leading up to the self-checkout area and then a bunch of people who are relentlessly confused about how to use a self-checkout [sometimes it's justifiable -- can't expect gramma to figure this shit out at 70, but it still holds shit up for ages]. Shit sux. I feel like I'm in fucking Wal-Mart at this point in Target.

Some places though, I deeply prefer self-checkout, like with fast food.
It's way harder for the cashier to fuck up your order out of nowhere if the cashier isn't there, and I can get a bunch of extra shit on my order that I don't bother asking the cashier for because they fuck it up every time.

[emphatic]

CHINESE BAT AIDS

Thanks, this made my evening a lot more fun.

[BIL]

The truth will out!



TAIWAN #1

Lucky for me, I battened (fuck!) down with a crate of Jack and a cellar full of corned beef, for me and this fucked up dog I'd bought off Aliexpress.

Spoiler

I think he gave me good luck! Either that, or AIDS! Either way - still alive!

[Lander]

Ordering a nice new monitor from Curry's with "Other Courier" as the only available shipping, only to find out that it's coming via DPD.

You might as well strap it to an inebriated carrier pigeon, fuck

I for one love shopping and touching the same shit-smeared screens as everyone else

Not to mention the checkoutbot treating you like a crim because its weight sensor is cheap tat.
Please bag your item. A colleague is coming to help once they finish their extended gossip session.

[vol.2]

Windows update pooched my work computer overnight and I had to jump through safe mode hoops to restore it. Then I finally get it fixed and the only thing that doesn't work is Google Chrome. So I have to reinstall Chrome, and I'm met with a slew of Microsoft propaganda about not installing Chrome and giving Edge a chance. Which is weird because Edge is just a wrapper on Chrome now, so I don't even understand the motivation anymore; maybe it's just a sore spot for MS? wtf

[orange808]

a slew of Microsoft propaganda about not installing Chrome and giving Edge a chance. Which is weird because Edge is just a wrapper on Chrome now, so I don't even understand the motivation anymore; maybe it's just a sore spot for MS? wtf

By default, Edge feeds search traffic to MS Bing and analytics to Microsoft, so it's all about the money.

Shame about the original Edge. A lot of people hated it, but Chrome has been (amd remains) and absolute bottomless pit of resources. Always cracks me up how lazy dumbshit millennials take shots at legacy emulators as "lazy" and they use Chrome: one of the absolute most lazy pieces of popular software in existence. Every iteration bloats by eating more resources. Web browing shouldn't and doesn't require that many cycles or that much ram, kids.

Legacy Edge (even) ran efficiently on low spec Atom processors. It's a shame. It scaled the way it should. That doesn't fit the popular narrative, though; old Edge will always be "inefficient" because it came from Microsoft (facts be damned).

But, I digress..

Are you self employed? If not, I'm surprised your machine isn't using a managed updates policy. The latest patch dropped right on schedule (Patch Tues), so it shouldn't have caught anyone off guard.

[BIL]

Being in beloved company and every time I laugh or smile ME FOOKIN CHAP LIP FOOOOOOOK (◎w◎;)



Get that lip balm before heading out lads, remember, it's not gay if the balls don't touch (｀w´メ)

[drauch]

Are you self employed? If not, I'm surprised your machine isn't using a managed updates policy. The latest patch dropped right on schedule (Patch Tues), so it shouldn't have caught anyone off guard.

Having managed updates doesn't absolve your computer of failing updates, lol.

[emphatic]

Being in beloved company and every time I laugh or smile ME FOOKIN CHAP LIP FOOOOOOOK (◎w◎;)

You and me both. O-shaped smiles for miles and miles.

[Udderdude]

Today's weather report:



And my windows are frozen shut. Yay Canada!

[BIL]

Commiserations 3; Even being from a tropical climate, the cold in the UK has never seemed more than a mild annoyance. Sitting here without the heating on just to deny those fatcat fucks their payday, lmao. Canada and the US Midwest, OTOH, holy balls that shit is so cold it burns.

[Mischief Maker]

It's so fucking cold my dog chose to take the shortest path for her walk yesterday.

[Udderdude]

On further inspection, it seems we've been hit by something that sounds like a King of Fighters move.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Explosive_cyclogenesis
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/12/23/clim ... clone.html

Someone set up us the bomb cyclone.

[Lander]

Bluetooth.

Every 2.4Ghz device I own is flawless - controllers, headphones, whatever. Turn it on, and pow. Solid. Functional. Good to go.

But a simple little BT speaker to broadcast upstairs from the PC? On your bike son. Get ready for random disconnects, a signal that only works 10% of the time, and drivers so bad they freeze the media player and crash the OS' audio backend.

How has this shit not gotten better in the decade since I last allowed one of these godforsaken devices into my toolchain.

[BIL]

About a year ago, I was inspired by pegboy's manful Contra All-Series NoMiss Challenge to settle an old grudge: the AC Super Contra 2ALL. AC Super is not like the pussy-assed (but lovable!) NES/FC version you may know. It's a right mean COONT! With an even meaner second loop! An archetypal late-80s Konamic MurderFuck™

PEG had discovered via a Japanese player, and relayed to me, that the topdown stages' invaluable Bombs - ostensibly limited to a single carry slot - actually stack! And not just from stage to stage... but loop to motherfucking loop! That's FOUR big bangs for 2-5, which is otherwise like shitting out a metal hexagon!

With this knowledge in hand, what would've been a torsion-inducingly anguished exercise in utter futile nerdcore became significantly less so.

"I'd better let the lads at Contra Wiki know! That page insists the Bombs are single-stock! Good men are dying out there" PAGE LOCKED. Hm. "I'll request in the comments!" Three months, no response. Feeling a bit ignored, I did the reasonable thing and called them a bunch of slack-jawed faggots - posting the iconic Predator GIF while restating my vital info, which I assured would make them into god-damned sexual tyrannosauruses. Just like me!



Banned. Aha - so you DO see my messages. Y'all just BITCHES

Anyway, this all came back this afternoon, while tidying up my YT playlists, and seeing a fellow struggler, who'd enjoyed my and PEG's NoMisses both. And in the comments of PEG's replay?



A quick check of TEH CONTRA WIKI, aaand - yep. Reams and reams and reams of shite on whatever F2P cancer Konami slaps the once-proud Contra name on. Fuck-all amendment to the fatally misleading ACS Shell info! I think I'll have another go at them, maybe someone less useless has taken over the page. Haha, I know. It's for the kids. 3;

TLDR: The internet lets you talk with other nerds about obscure shit, which is nice. But don't forget that 90% of those nerds are bitch-assed poseurs (or even worse, nostalgists ) who'll ban you for quoting Predator. Quality not quantity.

[Lander]

A quick check and... Yessum, that there is a Fandom site.

Frankly, the entire platform can tongue a waffle iron. You can't even glance at a page without it trying to ram ads, autoplaying sponsor videos, and MCU into every orifice it can find. And it crept in all insidious like - used to be a respectable informational resource for the discerning gentleman.

No wonder the management are bitch-made if they're hitched up to that wagon train.

[null1024]

Bluetooth.

Every 2.4Ghz device I own is flawless - controllers, headphones, whatever. Turn it on, and pow. Solid. Functional. Good to go.

But a simple little BT speaker to broadcast upstairs from the PC? On your bike son. Get ready for random disconnects, a signal that only works 10% of the time, and drivers so bad they freeze the media player and crash the OS' audio backend.

How has this shit not gotten better in the decade since I last allowed one of these godforsaken devices into my toolchain.

Bluetooth is cursed. If I need to remotely connect a device to a speaker, I will buy a dedicated BT receiver and plug the speaker into it. Just works.
Actually trying to pair/repair anything seems to actively decrease the chance of it resembling something reliable, so I follow the rule: one device, one pairing, period.

As an aside, Windows' BT stack is possibly the actual worst and is largely unchanged from the Windows XP days. It was unreliable back then, and 20+ years later, it's still shit.

Also, at this point, I just SSH into the computer hooked up to my speakers to change the song instead of trying to broadcast audio from my phone.

[BIL]

A quick check and... Yessum, that there is a Fandom site.

Frankly, the entire platform can tongue a waffle iron. You can't even glance at a page without it trying to ram ads, autoplaying sponsor videos, and MCU into every orifice it can find. And it crept in all insidious like - used to be a respectable informational resource for the discerning gentleman.

No wonder the management are bitch-made if they're hitched up to that wagon train.

I am pleased to report, after a cunning alt account/BAN EVADE pm from my good friend ButtLovinDickPound, they actually updated the page with the game-changing info!

...they added some new, nasty misinformation in the process - no lads, the bomb does not "remove all projectiles," that's how you get shot in the face - but you know what, fuck it. The stack mechanic and its morale boost will help far more than a disabusing bullet will hurt.

Would help if they let we unwashed masses - hands grubby from the cab, ewww! - edit the motherfucking page instead of "pls sir, could u fix your gaping unwashed arsehole of a wiki? ;3 ;3 ;3" - but I guess not everyone can enjoy a monopoly on The Troof.

[Blinge]

The Troof.

a legit contra player would recognise this tbh
tsk, tsk.

[BIL]

Man FUCC (・｀W´・)
I was all set to AYKSHUALY u with "no it's Contra FAN"
Then I looked up the sacred text and got PWNED



You win this time Burinju Or should I say...

[Lander]

That was an artisinal edit

Bluetooth is cursed. If I need to remotely connect a device to a speaker, I will buy a dedicated BT receiver and plug the speaker into it. Just works.

Discrete receiver / speaker sounds like a great idea. As-is it's difficult to troubleshoot whether it's my mobo chipset, speaker chipset, software config, or some ungodly combination of the three - as ever was the way with BT.

As an aside, Windows' BT stack is possibly the actual worst and is largely unchanged from the Windows XP days. It was unreliable back then, and 20+ years later, it's still shit.

So is bluez on linux. I accept open-source jank an occupational hazard, but it's some comfort to know 'doze is still just as bad

[orange808]

Bluetooth sucks. Who the hell thought sharing the frequencies with wifi was a good idea?

Around home, the airwaves are absolutely jammed with superfluous shit. Everyone has two or three 2.4 GHz wifi networks active on their routers. Of course, even the guest network is on. They have a host wifi network aleays active on their celly. They all have their printers hosting a wifi network. Everyone has bluetooth turned on with five or six devices.

Christmas lights messing with my 5 GHz band.

Definitely annoys the hell out of me. Who really needs all that shit turned on, anyway?

[Udderdude]

"Bluetooth" is a really stupid name. There, I said it. #courage #bravery #idontownanywirelesscrap

[null1024]

At some point in the last few months, Chrome's spellcheck has gotten way, way, way less useful. "eivl" brings up "eel", "evilly", and "earl" instead of the obvious "evil", for example [using this as the example because it's the most recent case that's happened to me].

[orange808]

Being told I always need to arrive at least 15 minutes early and I should wait for someone else 15 minutes past. The only time I remember not hearing it is when I worked on the clock. Everything is right on time when it costs someone else money.

Anyhow, people wasting my time telling me to show up early. I can lose hours of my day doing that. I'll be there at the planned time. You should never plan to wait. That's not reasonable.

[BIL]

Getting a bit annoyed with casual gamers / self-appointed "h4rdcor3 gaymerz" referring to multiplatform releases as "laggy," without clarifying if they're talking about the Switch version.

I said as much to zero response both here and in the related video's comments. I'd say as much to The Electric Underground, if he hadn't shat his nappies and ran off at the mildest questioning re: Perikles. (Dr. Biruford Kill Count ~3 autists, 1 scrub & 1 noob )

I don't have an emotional attachment to hardware. Games, absolutely - hardware, no. It works or it doesn't. So don't look at me like I've just called your mom rude, or said your dad accepts the stiff rods of paying men deep into the abyssal gape of his blown-out boomer pooper, when I say: the Switch is synonymous with greater-than-usual input latency, and including it in your blanket appraisal of multiplatform input response produces results not worth wiping my ass with.

EDIT A related note: if you think HAWT 1980S HITS like NINJA SPIRITS and BENDETTA and MELT SLUG 3 suddenly won't leave your little boipucci smoking on real hardware, vs their respective PS4 ACA versions? Dream on, pussy. The real boards and carts will bust that boipucci wide open. You'll see the proverbial camel through the eye of its needle, before you fit your unlearned incompetence through ~-.5f of input latency. Especially with their lack of savestate practice! Quit dreaming, and get learning. You can dream in one hand and learn in another - see which fills up first!

TLDR casuals reeee

[Udderdude]

Switch is such a pain to even deal with input latency. There's handheld vs. docked mode, wired vs. wireless controllers .. I think it might even vary between games.

This guy has a vid of a Switch in handheld mode running ACA Sunset Riders, right next to an original Sunset Riders PCB running on an original cab. Can't see any difference. https://www.reddit.com/r/NintendoSwitch ... b_perfect/