Little things that annoy the hell out of you

[TransatlanticFoe]

The thing is, if you wanted to present gameplay in a cinematic fashion it's doable and that would be entertaining in a fashion - but of course you'd need to actually know how to play it to start with. But doing mad aesthetic shit with a cheated longplay and just standing there, invincible, while the game runs literally until it NEEDS an input to continue? Well it is different I'll give them that - but then so is replacing the player sprite with a cock and balls, but it doesn't automatically make it good. I too have no idea why anyone would choose to watch a game being butchered like those videos.

I do like World of Longplays for the most part, because the cheat aspect of it means the person is playing enough of the game that you see what it has to offer - but isn't an expert to the extent where enemies die as soon as they're on screen, so you barely see the game. I find it more entertaining and informative than high scoring runs for that reason. But you do get the odd... well, odd one - a Sonic where the player fiddles around collecting all the rings GET ON WITH IT.

[Udderdude]

Don't forget to turn throttling off. How convenient. You managed to see the entire game in 3 minutes!

[vol.2]

every time i make a cup of tea or pour myself a glass of water, i end up spilling some of it on the kitchen floor and get wet socks

[BulletMagnet]

So after a few years of waiting my number comes up in the local affordable housing lottery; I hire a lawyer, the seller's lawyer sends over a contract draft, and the former and myself go back and forth a couple of times in an attempt to make sure I understand everything and possibly tweak a few minor items.

During this time I assume that my lawyer is in communication with the seller's lawyer about what's going on, especially since the former's correspondence with me has noticeably slowed; imagine my surprise when I check my phone after work earlier today and see I've been CCed on an email from the seller's lawyer, saying that he hasn't heard a single thing since he first sent the contract over, and says that if this isn't rectified within the next 24 hours my shot at the property is dead and back into the lottery I go.

After immediately calling both lawyers (neither were in, left messages for both), I rush home to find my lawyer has now sent me both a slightly amended contract and a completely new addendum to said contract that I've never seen before nor knew was even in the works, suggesting that I immediately sign and return both. I hurriedly look over the latter, and while most of what it contains doesn't seem to be an issue, a couple of items (most notably the stipulation that the closing be held someplace an hour and a half's drive away from me) would almost certainly, if nothing else, make the process more unpleasant.

Of course, since I can't exactly afford to hash out the details at this point without risking losing the place entirely, I swallow some vomit and sign away. The next step, of course, is to hire a home inspector (said inspection must take place within 10 days) and see what fun activities they have planned for me within this strictly limited time frame. Sure is something to have to run the proverbial gauntlet to earn the privilege of spending most of your life savings on one of life's barest necessities.

[JBC]

Asinine shittakes in Alien fandom

"The Alien literally actually raped Lambert"

"Aliens nerfed the Xenomorph and made them look like dumb bugs"

"Alien 3 is an underrated, great movie and the perfect end to Ripley's journey"

"The AvP movies are still canon"

"Ridley Scott is a genius"

"Blade Runner, Soldier, and Outland happen in the Alien universe"

"I thought everyone taking off thier helmets in Prometheus was far fetched until Covid"

[BIL]

This is going to sound extremely petty, but I know a lot of people whose jobs have gone from being in an office to remote from home. It makes total sense, as they're jobs that don't require a physical presence to operate, such as web development work. However, hearing comments about "well, time for another day in my underwear!" or stuff like that is starting to really grate on me.

SPIRITUAL SEQUEL People jerking off on conference calls "WTF is that purposeful noise..." "He was usin' the mayo to jerk off!"

[Udderdude]

Going full DSP.

[BIL]

Or full Toobin

NSFW

Spoiler

[BulletMagnet]

"He was usin' the mayo to jerk off!"

Going full BLT.

Fixed.

[Blinge]

parasitic cunts in cuckfordshire are putting the rail prices up
AGAIN

at the point where i may aswell just quit my job

[Randorama]

E-mails from people who apparently read my work and interpret it as some covert pamphlet for the initiated in...some conspiracy theory.
My understanding is that the latest e-mail suggests that I secretly know how to interpret middle eastern gazetteers as keys for initiation into a cosmic, kabbala-based version of tantric yoga.

More or less.

It's the third in 20 months, so I guess that someone has decided to troll me really hard via remarkably eccentric approaches.
Maybe the next one will involve four-dimensional lizards and weasels (well, I hope so at this point).

[Ed Oscuro]

Stubborn tastelessness makes you a visionary, or something.

Haha. Plenty of fish in the seas still, Roo! I've just learned (and it took me how long?) that I can give somebody some suggestions, and whether they adopt them or not is no longer really my business.

I did suggest to the Retroarch team that they rename "Game Focus" mode and it was annoying to write some detailed comments why for them to be ignored. But hey, it's on them.

[BIL]

Gaming threads. Lousy, perfidious GAMING THREADS in my BEAUTIFUL OFF TOPIC FORUM - that I am powerless to move.

Mods: do you think I rolled up Gus's autism diagnosis and bummed him with it, just so that I could be pestered by VIDEOGAMES? Do you think I plundered Ricardo (or his random bum chum, they all look the same to me) of his Gradius slowdown credibility, as if he were the chubby pink-faced Ned Beatty to my monstrous hillbilly sodomite - in front of the master himself, no less! - only to have... SHUMPS (YUUUCK!) interrupting my LEISURELY ENJOYMENTS?

I open my beautiful OT... only to be POSSESSED BY A FURY THAT BURNS FROM INSIDE

Mods pls. Look I got deez cheeseburgers. Man I suck yo dick!
>_>
<_<
I said I suck yo dick >_<;

[Udderdude]

Most of those were around before the Other Gaming sub-forum was created, there's tons of them but they usually don't get bumped to page 1.

[BIL]

Yeah I know :O But when they resurface from teh briny deeps... well old friend, you may think me mad, but this is what I see -
IN MUH MIND (◎w◎;)



Spergin ain't easy 3;>

[Ed Oscuro]

It's at this moment that I realized I was shitposting here before "how is babby formed?" was a thing. Look on the bright side...we've made it out the other side, we've outlived Yahoo Answers!

RIP Robotron.

[BIL]

TFW Trio Teh Punch: Nevar 4get Me is getting an ACA release, and you look up an old post and all the links are down. God rest absent shumps bros, indeed. I remember the exact pic he posted in response to my shock Colonel Sanders reveal, a pair of cats avidly devouring a bucket of KFC - the DUX thread was such a hopeful, mirthful place pre-release, before Plasmo demolished it with that Day 1 counterstop. I'm gonna see if I can find that pic.

(the Colonel's DECO cameo being a bit of a spoiler, now I think about it, sorry all throw Hamster some bones, it's a good game! No really, I swear! If you pick the Ninja, anyway! Black Rastan and the POPPIN FRESH Japanese Gangsta Thug, you're on your own with those two jokers! )

EDIT: God damn I'd forgotten how good the DUX thread gets. All that withering suspense and doubt and hope, then an unbridled vindicated release. Like taking a massive single-segment one-wipe slam on a sunny day when you're chilling at home alone, like a king upon his throne.

DUX thread (if it hasn't already) must surely get the gong for GREAT SHUMPS THREADS!

He used to like (!!!!!!!!!) dat piece of shit (last hope), he waiting for DUX. You betrayed him.

Now, can i ask you? WHY THE FUCK YOU HAVEN'T OFFERED TO HIM TO BE A DAMN BETA-F*-TESTER OF DUX?

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You gotta do wuuut?! (You gotta belieeeve!)

[Udderdude]

Yeah I know :O But when they resurface from teh briny deeps... well old friend, you may think me mad, but this is what I see -
IN MUH MIND (◎w◎;)

The ghosts of shmupmas past have come to haunt us.

I'm calling an exorcist.

[BIL]

You better start believing in Otaku Yaois, Udder-san. (｀w´メ)
YOU'RE IN ONE (◎w◎;)

Ghost stories. I meant to say ghost stories. Mods pls delete this post. (˘w˘)

mods pls. offer from prior page still stands. no homo. strictly transactional bromo. (■｀w´■)

[Sumez]

Lol I feel kinda sorry for NGDevTeam's René trying to eagerly engage with the community only to get shit thrown in his face.

I'm not a big fan of their games, but for all their faults, I appreciate their output.

[BIL]

Gotta respect guts Homie stepped into the firing line like a man, with his explanation of why no, you were never going to get a button config menu out of him I'd be shitting myself in terror while RHE's blithely asking for a last cig

[Sumez]

So late to that party on that, but for what it's worth I agree with him. Making a game's default controls the ideal setting is much more important than trying to patch a bad interface by letting people customize it how they want. I generally don't like customizability much in games, and I feel similar about difficulty settings, as I would rather play a game where the designers have faith in their own design.

Realistically though, it's not like it detracts anything from a game to have a button configuration. I think a better excuse in this situation is that programming menus is super boring.

And on the flip-side again, if you're making an arcade game, there's already a way to configure the controls - you switch out those terminals on the backside of your damn CP

[BIL]

I can see the argument for a game's default controls as part of its overall vision - particularly with more modern console stuff, I'll usually try to avoid changing them too much, unless I find something I really dislike. At the same time though, I'll always advocate for customisability, not just with games but human interface products in general, just for basic functionality's sake. I had a DS4's square and X button underlays split on me after hours of ACA Metal Slugs, so I just shunted them over to triangle and circle in the config, easy. I was also playing a ton of RE4 at the time, so I used the PS4's internal button config to swap those buttons (fire+reload) with less action-critical ones (map+examine), again, job done.

From what RHE (circa that thread)'s saying, this would be completely unacceptable to him (presumably likewise if I just had some kind of hand issue). I'm feeling a certain ugly national stereotype regarding megalomania creeping up on me, there... Better I can play Kraut Buster with [grenade] on [R1] like I like my Slugs than not at all, surely. (I've never played Kraut Buster )

[Specineff]

So... we just don't understand, again?

[BIL]

Teh future refused to change 3;

[Ed Oscuro]

Speaking of things that maybe could change, but probably not in the way they did...the Windows right-click menu. Mine goes to 11, now.

I can kinda dig why they want to make it small like we're using single-button classic Macs with 9" screens. More screen space good.

Getting rid of intentionally added context menu entries in the default small list...not necessarily so bad, and it is at least balanced out by some of the default menu options being useful new options, like "copy as path."

Putting the most used right-click commands at the top of the menu was a good idea, except that's not really what they did. The default Win11 right-click menu sometimes puts those lil' cut-copy-paste entries at the top, sometimes at the bottom, depending on where you opened the menu in relation to the screen edges.

The worst thing, though, is that they've gotten rid of the unambiguous text in favor of low-contrast skeumorphic designs. Instead of the big high-contrast word "cut" I'm looking for a tiny light blue outline of cartoon scissors. This is somehow the best case and far better than the situation with "Copy" and "Paste" both being variations on light rectangles. Cor blimey. Yeah, I'm going to be doing that registry fix to slap the classic menu on.

Beyond that, though, I've had to fix far fewer things in Win11 than I had been prepared to do, so that's good. They still don't have DEP on for all programs, though, despite all the fuss about security.

[null1024]

Man, the only valid reason for a game's controls to not be configurable is laziness. It is, in short, bad design.

I can at least respect someone saying they can't be arsed to do it -- it's a bit tedious to implement, especially if you've peppered the rest of the game with hard-coded checks for a given button, and managing different ways of reading different inputs is often awful.
Any other reason given is scrub talk.

Fuck games that only offer a few preset mappings too -- if your default control scheme sucks, why in hell would I want to use the other ones you've designed? [j/k, but only mostly]
As an example of that, I'm still baffled at how Quake 2 on PS1 has separate modes where left stick controls movement, and right stick controls the camera, but you can't get both at the same time, the dual-stick mode has left stick be turning and forward motion, with the right stick being strafing and looking up/down, just the absolute worst. I settled on the mode where d-pad is movement, and right stick is camera, but it's still dumb.
In stark contrast, I will always praise Armored Core for letting me remap ALL of the buttons however I want [even if that series has had its own nonsense regarding the lack of analog input lol]... and then get mad at the almost certainly deliberate fact that you can't remap the controls at the start of the game. AFAIK, the reason is that in-story, you're just given a unit with stock settings and sent out, so you can't set things up the way you'd like back if you had the machine at your hangar. It's still dumb, but it's at least dumb for a neat reason.

[BIL]

I can at least respect someone saying they can't be arsed to do it

Yeah, same. Just fuckin let it rock, burn it all down. Anyone desperate enough for the game will put up with it, you'll know who your true fans are.

"Lads, you know that button config you requested?" :3
"Yeah?"
"I AIN DOIN SHIT FOR YOU MOTHERFUCKERS, GO FUCK YO MAMA" OwO
"Wha-"
"Blew all the stretch funds on cheeseburgers n' coke my g" >:9
"Wow. Refunding my order, asshole."
*2x MIDDLE FINGERS + EAT PUSSY SIGN* >83

If RHE had done that, the thread would've taken a very different but equally hilarious course.

As an example of that, I'm still baffled at how Quake 2 on PS1 has separate modes where left stick controls movement, and right stick controls the camera, but you can't get both at the same time, the dual-stick mode has left stick be turning and forward motion, with the right stick being strafing and looking up/down, just the absolute worst. I settled on the mode where d-pad is movement, and right stick is camera, but it's still dumb.

Good goddamn gravy, I felt ill just imagining that :X

[Sumez]

Man, the only valid reason for a game's controls to not be configurable is laziness. It is, in short, bad design.

I can at least respect someone saying they can't be arsed to do it -- it's a bit tedious to implement, especially if you've peppered the rest of the game with hard-coded checks for a given button, and managing different ways of reading different inputs is often awful.
Any other reason given is scrub talk.

Laziness is absolutely the best reason, but if the game you're making is essentially a 3 button arcade game, designed to play just like an arcade game, and even released on actual arcade hardware, I'd still say it's absolutely justifiable. Ain't never seen an MVS game with a button config menu.

[TransatlanticFoe]

And if you've got a custom controller? Those 3 buttons might make sense on the default hardware, less so when it's something you've built to be system-generic and used via adapters. Where's the harm in implementing simple control bindings?

It's the most basic customisation option you can provide to a user so that they can have a comfortable setup, however they happen to be playing. System-level remapping is common enough to provide workarounds at least (global is not ideal but at least it'll work), but a developer pulling the old "the best decision is my decision" on controls is offensively anti-accessible. I see it so often with software UI design, it's incredibly frustrating to have customisation yanked away and be told "do it like this, it's better that way" by the developer. Let the user set it up so that they're comfortable, a pox on what "you" think is the "right" way!