Movies you've just watched

[BIL]

I remember my buddy having the one where TEH ALIENS HAVE EVOLVED - into fuckin monkeys. *cue a bunch of Space Gorillas bounding out of the jungle pursued by none other than the GORALIENZ, much to the consternation of VASQUEZ and DRAKE - now on sale! You remember Drake, right kids?



Pretty sure my brother had Bishop and his shitty chrome dome. All I remember is going "that's not Lance Henriksen! I'd know his kindly, engimatic, cum-spewing mug anywhere!"

...

I wonder how many little kids stayed up to watch Aliens on cable, circa 1992, only to face the horrors of Transformers: The Movie YET AGAIN, as their entire toy bucket ate shit and died in a random maintenance shaft.

[TransatlanticFoe]

Demolition Man

The Mrs. and I continue our trek into 80's/90's big dick, big guns, big pec territory. Predator was great, Raw Deal...uh the less said the better, and now this.

Happy to say that it has also aged pretty well. Their take on the "future" (SO MANY CRTS) is still interesting, especially the social aspects of it. Neither Stallone or Snipes are Oscar worthy but they play well enough off of each other.

Comedy of note - towards the beginning when Snipes is in the museum a group of Chinese people walk by and he launches into some racist verbal abuse that would never make it into a film today. I had to rewind it to make sure I heard him proper.

Definitely worth a watch.

Some absolute gold in this film. Favourite moment is probably the abusive tirade to get enough fines printed out to make up for toilet paper. Followed by a fancy restaurant singer perfoming the Jolly Green Giant song (excusing that the expensive restaurant is still just a Taco Bell!).

Plays out as more of a straight action film than Last Action Hero, which I suspect is why it's a bit more fondly remembered, but both are worthy parodies that don't get nearly enough credit for their comedic satire.

[NYN]

Maps to the Stars

Holly Wood Horror. As a whole it stands as a detector for its audience. Every scene has an innate point at where to gasp or burst out laughter simply with the function to release tension. Where is the point where we toss our arms into the fields and run for the hills of suspension of disbelief? Movie monologue is used up as some prayer for strange rituals, that is maybe the only attempt of some spirituality. Except Yogi Tea. " I've met the Dalai Lama once. He's a funny man. He laughs a lot." I see all this in the vein of a Sunset Boulevard, only with a needle in it. Granpa's version of depravity does not count for a whole lot anymore.

[MintyTheCat]

Caligula : 1979 Malcolm McDowell and Helen Mirren. Pretty debauched and amusing.

[GaijinPunch]

Caligula : 1979 Malcolm McDowell and Helen Mirren. Pretty debauched and amusing.

I never saw this but the $1 theater in my hood used it as their foray into being a skin flick theater. This was walking distance of the homes of probably 2000 kids. Think "great place to raise a family" in the early 80s, "not the ghetto but definitely low income" by the early 2000's. Needless to say it did not go over well with residents, and involved some protests. And for anyone that thinks the internet is big pile of shit, it's great to archive random memories from your childhood. And shit, even has a photo from the showing of the title in question. Keep in mind, this is a suburb of Dallas, TX. Still pretty conservative these days, although not the headquarters for mom's against dungeons and dragons (but pretty close). It was a dry county until WELL after I left. Had to drive a good 45 minutes to find some poor ass immigrant to sell me booze when I was 17.

I heard all the orgies were filmed later, w/o any of the main actors knowledge or consent.

[lilmanjs]

Killer Darts
Late 60s Wuxia from Shaw Brothers where a villain ends up cutting part of his arm off to save his own life. Pretty interesting movie with a lot of double crossing, lies and good sword fights all around. Glad I ended up checking this out.

[xxx1993]

Just watched the extended cut of Rambo: Last Blood on Amazon Prime. An already great film made even better. I just wish we'd own it on Blu-ray physically, though.

[vol.2]

although not the headquarters for mom's against dungeons and dragons (but pretty close).

haha. I have a friend who's mom did this for their local church group in Maryland. When I went to visit their house, she would be listening to the radio taking notes and whatnot. It was somewhat unnerving.

[GaijinPunch]

although not the headquarters for mom's against dungeons and dragons (but pretty close).

haha. I have a friend who's mom did this for their local church group in Maryland. When I went to visit their house, she would be listening to the radio taking notes and whatnot. It was somewhat unnerving.

I love my mom dearly, but she definitely fell into this category. Didn't let me play, and was pretty weary of me getting a NES for similar reasons. Needless to say, I didn't kill myself.

[kitten]

watched johnny mnemonic (japanese cut, reported to be the intended cut of the film) the other night with a couple friends. based on a william gibson story, you get a really fucking weird keanu reeves cyberpunk... action movie? despite having read that the movie intended to be silly, i think it didn't know quite how silly it actually was. worth a watch, though! you get to hear dolph lundgren say "JESUS TIME" before a dolphin hooked up to a tiny radar dish bakes his fucking flesh off his body with microwave rays. who will stop this dolph on dolph violence??? ;__;

turned it into a double feature and followed up with new rose hotel, which is non-coincidentally also based off a william gibson story (so it technically takes place in the same universe). radically different film that feels like a fever dream about love and betrayal in a dystopic future. the people involved in this movie are a seriously fucking bizarre bunch - yoshitaka amano (yes, that amano) and ryuichi sakamoto (of YMO) show up as bit roles, the guy who did the aqua teen hunger force opening song scores the whole thing, and it stars asia argento, willem dafoe, and christopher walken. abel ferrara, what the fuck are your connections?

[Vexorg]

The Legend of Zorro: ***

Sequel to the 1998 film The Mask of Zorro, it's basically a wild west James Bond film which generally reviewed poorly (26% on Rotten Tomatoes) but ends up being at least mildly entertaining if a bit contrived. Probably held back to at least some extent by the fact that it has a PG rating (probably borderline PG-13 in content but they presumably wanted to make it a "family" movie). If you had to pick five Hollywood actors to play the role of Zorro, I'm guessing Antonio Banderas would be at least three of them (his performance in the previous Zorro film received a number of award nominations including a Golden Globe Best Actor nomination) and he carries what would probably otherwise be a pretty forgettable popcorn flick.

[lilmanjs]

Uncut Gems
Man was that a wild ride and a very good one as well. Sandler's second best behind Punch Drunk Love.

[Vexorg]

101 Dalmatians (1996 version): ***

This was an unnecessary Disney live action remake before unnecessary Disney live action remakes were cool. They opted not to have any talking animals in this version, which means it seems like at least 20% of the runtime consists entirely of dogs barking and other animal noises (which I assume made things really easy for whoever did the closed captioning. ) Glenn Close turns in a scenery chewing performance as Cruella De Vil as the film eventually devolves into Home Alone with animals, throwing a lengthy humiliation conga at the bad guys.

Perhaps the most shocking thing about this movie is the fact that, in spite of the fact that it had some rather disturbing characters and images, it somehow still managed to get a G rating. If they made this today I think Cruella's smoking alone would earn it a PG-13.

[lilmanjs]

Anatomy of a Murder
Fantastic movie about a rape and murder of the rapist by the husband and the trial that takes place for the murderer. James Stewart turns in a brilliant performance as a lawyer in which we see most everything through his viewpoint. The trial itself is well done and the fact there's never any music during the trial scenes makes it that much more tense.

[Axelay]

Demolition Man


Comedy of note - towards the beginning when Snipes is in the museum a group of Chinese people walk by and he launches into some racist verbal abuse that would never make it into a film today. I had to rewind it to make sure I heard him proper.

Definitely worth a watch.

Wesley snipes being racist in that scene always made me and my family laugh. He plays the villain so well and he is so over the top. It was a brilliant casting choice.

I have always found it amusing how snipes was given hacking upgrades whilst Stallone starts sowing a jumper in the film. Also sandy Bullock is so cute in the film .

And a special shootout to the three sea shells what ever that means.

@BIL @Mortificator I was fortunate to have a red xenomorph figure which had a projectile hidden in its neck I will one day replace it as it was an incredible looking toy.

[Stevens]

Yeah they never do tell you how to use the three sea shells.

[NYN]

Pin...

...occhio. We have to talk about Leon Linden. A young man with so much to go for. A dedicated brother to his sister. Fairly apt in cuisine, poetry, ventriloquism, and chopping wood and arranging the woodpile. Nothing too mundane, nothing out of the ordinary. So what if he's not into the sexy stuff and when a pair of female boobs are lunged in his general direction he runs down the stairs to play with a remote-controlled electronic wheelchair instead. It's not our place to judge! At least his imaginary friend is a real medical dummy, not some fairy-winged magical cartoon/cereals-character. That would be bizarre! As always, the parents are at fault. Raised him right into the big circus tent, they did. That poor boy. You see how this is going to end, don't you? In tears and wrapped plastic bags.

[chempop]

I've been on a mindless 80's kick lately, two Michael J Fox flicks: The Secret of My Success, Bright Lights Big City. I'd only recommend them if you have a chronic 80's nostalgia disorder.

Uncut Gems
Man was that a wild ride and a very good one as well. Sandler's second best behind Punch Drunk Love.

The trailer made it look like such garbage, but I kept hearing people recommend it. I was shocked how much I enjoyed it, especially Sandler's performance.

[vol.2]

The Secret of My Success

one of those movies i would watch on vhs every time i got sick. it was the perfect level of distracting and unstimulating. definitely have the tape somewhere in a box that also contains the princess bride and the great chipmunk adventure.

[chempop]

The Secret of My Success

one of those movies i would watch on vhs every time i got sick. it was the perfect level of distracting and unstimulating. definitely have the tape somewhere in a box that also contains the princess bride and the great chipmunk adventure.

If you don't feel like watching it again, there is always this music video by Le Cassette: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kR5q2fXfkVo

The song that plays during the kiss 'I Burn For You' by Danny Peck and Nancy Shanks is a great ballad, but sadly no instrumental version was ever released to my knowledge.

Princess Bride, Beattlejuice, Stand By Me, and Above the Law were probably my top 4 favorite stay-home-sick tapes growing up.

[Stevens]

Because of a game I have been playing I decided to rent - The Last Dragon

I wasn't sure how it was going to go, I hadn't watched it since I was a single digit age.

It's still pretty good, although they probably could cut the 8 - 10 minutes of the opening that is basically a music video, and any other time they show a music video. I guess cause it was 85'?

Outside of that it was still pretty enjoyable. I mean if Lo Pan is the 1a villain of the 80's Sho' Nuff is easily 1b. An under rated bad guy if there ever was one and under used here. That 8 - 10 minutes of shitty videos should have been his. I mean just the treasure trove that are his lines. Damn just gold.

If you can get passed some hokey music video stuff there is still a lot to like here - also the scene where Leroy is shooting craps with the Asian guys and he has them playing hop scotch was still well timed and really funny.

Also a fair amount of awesome 80's humor. Meaning kind of racist. And yes it's funny.

[GaijinPunch]

Just watched the trailer.

Holy shit is there anything it doesn't have? The Shogun of Harlem, shitty music, a smokin' hot Vanity (if ever there was someone to cure suburban white kids of any racist tendencies surely she was it), and.... El DeBarge?! I mean the lead AND the love interest are played by actors that go by a single name. Truly high caliber cinema.

[Stevens]

and.... El DeBarge?!

What was up with that? The movie starts, some stuff happens, and then you have to sit through an entire music video. And not just montage style either, from his screen time there you would think he is in the movie.

[vol.2]

Because of a game I have been playing I decided to rent - The Last Dragon

One of those oft-watched favorites from my childhood. The truth behind the Sum Dum Goy Master!

If you're feeling that flick right now, might wanna follow up with a screening of The Miami Connection!

[Stevens]

What have we here?

80's synth color scheme/neon? Check
Palm trees and sun? Check
Motorcycle gang? Check
What looks like John Oates? Check
Ninjas? Check

And to top it off - The guy who I'm guessing is supposed to be the main character looks confused. Like - Wait! My agent said this was for a game called Renegade. How did I get here?

Sign me up.

[vol.2]

Sign me up.

From IMDB "A martial arts rock band goes up against a band of motorcycle ninjas who have tightened their grip on Florida's narcotics trade."

wait til you hear the song that was written specifically for the movie. it's *amazing*

[Stevens]

I may watch it tonight. Thanks for the suggestion.

[GaijinPunch]

You can't find nuggets like this on social media.

[xxx1993]

I just watched Da 5 Bloods. I usually don't watch Spike Lee movies, but I liked it overall. I just wish it wasn't too long.

[BIL]

What have we here?

80's synth color scheme/neon? Check
Palm trees and sun? Check
Motorcycle gang? Check
What looks like John Oates? Check
Ninjas? Check

And to top it off - The guy who I'm guessing is supposed to be the main character looks confused. Like - Wait! My agent said this was for a game called Renegade. How did I get here?

Sign me up.

Miami Connection: so bad, it's God.



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