Movies you've just watched

[emphatic]

This is more just a weird personal preference of mine but I didn't like that Joker was sort of a dumbass. He's self-delusional and reactive - anything but a strategic mastermind. He gets away with most of his crimes by accident and not through planning and intelligence.

I interpreted this as him wearing off the drugs, but maybe it's just confirmation bias. That dance he does in the bathroom feels to me like he's beginning to take shape/finally off his meds.

No, I haven't seen it. And I don't plan to.

Good for you?

[BIL]

Speaking of woefully over-extended franchises in need of deep rethinking! TERMINATOR: DARK BALLS red band trailer!

"He's the most lethal Terminator ever created" says CYBER BIEBER. Immediate cut to said Terminator shoving a clearly overpowered Cyber Bieber away. IT KEEPS HAPPENING Remember when the most lethal ROBERTPATRICKBOT hauled off and jammed a fucking iron rod straight through AHNULD's back, killing him? Sigh.

I didn't watch the last one. I thought John Connor Actor #33452345 looked way too much like Colm Meaney for my liking. I watched the one before that, and distinctly recall being excited for it. I think they marketed it as the future war movie T3 should've been. Jesus Christ.

Actually, Ahnuld looks sorta fun in this one. He is a VCR repairman or something who retired from the thug life after T2 and has spent the last two decades chilling while people made shitty Terminator sequels. It's the germ of a good idea, buried in what seems to be a mountain of dross! I will probably see it. 3;

[BrianC]

I didn't watch the last one. I thought John Connor Actor #33452345 looked way too much like Colm Meaney for my liking.

Chief 'O Brien!

[BIL]

Yeah! Except where O'Brien had that smouldering intensity - you can just feel his inner ANGRY OIRISHMAN raring to chug down some Future Beamish and punch those goofball aliens square in they mouts, like - this John Connor was some crummy robot! I would just watch Layer Cake instead, where me ol' mucker MOYLES whoops James Bond's ass!

[Jonny2x4]

I didn't watch the last one. I thought John Connor Actor #33452345 looked way too much like Colm Meaney for my liking.

You didn't miss much. John Connor was the evil Terminator in that one and he's the one who invents Skynet with Miles Dyson and his kid, which is now some iOS/Android-type of evilware that every device on Earth uses for reasons. Kyle Reese travels to the same time period as T1, only to find out that Sarah Connor is already a badass (even though she looks like a 12-year old girl), since Arnie raised her in the new timeline, and then they travel to the future to prevent John Connor from inventing SkynetOS because the filmmakers wanted the movie to be set in the present (I don't remember the actual plot-related explanation why they needed to travel to the future instead of just destroying Skynet in the past). Anyway, it was supposed to be the first part of a new trilogy, just like Salvation was before it, but it didn't pan out, which is why they're making Dark Fate now (which is also the first in a planned trilogy).

With that said, the new Terminator doesn't inspire much confidence, especially after reading the spoilers.

Spoiler

A new Arnie model kills John Connor after the events of T2, feels sorry for what he did and ends up becoming some henpecked husband to a random lady.

I've just watched Joker a few hours ago. Somehow they didn't shoot my theater. It was alright, but it didn't really felt like it needed to be a Joker movie.

Spoiler

The sub-plot between Joker's mum and Thomas Wayne felt a bit shoehorned in. If this Joker was already passed his 30's when Bruce was just a kid, then he'll be a senior citizen by the time Bruce becomes Batman.

[BIL]

Anyway, it was supposed to be the first part of a new trilogy, just like Salvation was before it, but it didn't pan out, which is why they're making Dark Fate now (which is also the first in a planned trilogy).

I miss unplanned trilogies. OTOH the spiralling trainwreck of modern failed trilogies is some morbid entertainment in itself.

Spoiler

A new Arnie model kills John Connor after the events of T2, feels sorry for what he did and ends up becoming some henpecked husband to a random lady.

If actual remorse is involved that does sound a bit cheesy. I'm hopeful he just found himself at a loose end after procedurally completing a now-futile mission, and gradually assimilated into society, because that's just what infiltration units do. Sounds kinda neat, I'd love a full movie of that. Just an obsolete robo-man going about his robo-workday in the very society his extinct creator sought to annihilate. Dealing with annoying human shit not via superior violence, but the fathomless patience of an unfeeling machine.

I suppose he could get roped into some unfortunate hijinks when his jury-rigged Totally Normal Dude act prompts him to, I dunno, walk into freeway traffic to save a doomed kitty, which cheeses off some Falling Down asshole something fierce, etc etc. Crank the DARKNESS SLIDER to the right for a foiled rape attempt involving TEH MAFIA or something.

CAT or INNOCENT GIRL: "We're not going to make it, are we...?"
OLD AHNULD: "ITS IN UR NATURE TO DESTROY URSELVES."

EDIT: Fuck, I kinda want to see this. I'm just wondering whether it should end catastrophically or just a bit awkwardly. Maybe he'd end up on trial for punching a motherfucker's head off in self-defense. Wait... Catastrophic! Ha! Fuck me, I'm supposed to be working. Responsible Citizen Ahnuld would not approve of this bunking off. >_>

Would be a break from the worn-out "run away from bad machine man" guff! Unfortunately, said guff seems to form the basis of this entire plot, haha... oh well.

Somehow they didn't shoot my theater.

I think mine narrowly dodged the wrath of local Incel chapter "The Hentai Fusiliers," because they were tired out after jerking off. Plus it was a school night, which ruled out half of their best operatives. I was still scurred though, CNN told me the bodies would be stacked to the ceilings

Spoiler

If this Joker was already passed his 30's when Bruce was just a kid, then he'll be a senior citizen by the time Bruce becomes Batman.

Yeah, I definitely wondered about that. Forgivable in comics context with their endlessly sliding timelines, but could surely irk the super hardcore, timeline flamewarring-sorts. IIRC the director left it ambiguous whether this is the Joker or just an inspirational figure... which tbh doesn't work for the traditional Joker character. Gotta stick Bruce in the Young and the Restless turbo-ager!

This Post Rated EDIT for Strong HTML Violence

[Jonny2x4]

IIRC the director left it ambiguous whether this is the Joker or just an inspirational figure... which tbh doesn't work for the traditional Joker character. Gotta stick Bruce in the Young and the Restless turbo-ager!

Lately they've been toying with the idea that there's actually been three Jokers in the DC Comics universe all this time, but I'm not sure if they will actually go with that idea or will they just leave it as some non-canon side-story.

[BIL]

Oh, that'd work. This is making me want to bust out The Long Halloween, haha. I know that was more Harvey Dent-centered, but I recall Joker having some cracking scenes there. One panel involving a biplane I thought was avatar material, assuming I'm thinking of the right comic.

[Mischief Maker]

"He's the most lethal Terminator ever created because he can split into two!"

Uh... didn't the T3 Terminator literally have a flamethrower attachment?

Shot of the most lethal Terminator ever created throwing a spear and falling short of the target.

[drauch]

Yeah, No Legs surprisingly kinda sucks. Been 14 years since I've seen it and had to get some crap bootleg at the time, but I was pretty disappointed that he doesn't do a whole lot with the fancy chair.

yea, it was pretty bad but i had the bar set pretty low going in. some of the fight sequences were hysterical, i.e. Mr. No Legs takes the initiative to turn around as to perform a back kick *nod* exploitation at it's finest.

drauch, you grow up on Wizard Video and Full Moon Entertainments catalog of b-grade flicks? I caught a documentary titled: VHS Lives: A Schlockumentary at 4am a few days ago. I'm re/discovering shit I haven't seen in ~30 years.

Oh yeah, definitely, with a healthy dose of Monstervision. I love that like 80% of Full Moon's output has been little things being evil.

[BryanM]

There was always a lot of absurdity about how the terminators are incapable of performing basic trigonometry with their robot brains when up against the protagonist's plot armor. Driving away in front of them during a car chase sequence is probably the worst place to be, since the best case scenario is blown out wheels soon followed by your circulatory system depressurizing.

(Still angry Terminator 3 didn't end with them going into the bunker and finding a table made of cheap resin plastic. Skynet? An Apple II computer with an angry blinking light on it. This is why they need to get an actual freakin' nerd to write one of these scripts for a change!)

... I'm still trying to process the fact the Alien prequels don't have antagonists in them.

[Jonny2x4]

"He's the most lethal Terminator ever created because he can split into two!"

Uh... didn't the T3 Terminator literally have a flamethrower attachment?

She has a bunch of weapons to choose when they showed her weapon select menu, but conveniently forgets to use any of them when she's crawling to get John Connor when they reached the nuclear shelter at the end.

... I'm still trying to process the fact the Alien prequels don't have antagonists in them.

Did it even had protagonists? Never saw Convenant, but everyone in Prometheus was too much of an idiot that did not deserve to live.

[BIL]

David is very much Covenant's protagonist, which could might make for an interesting movie (roboman doing robothings!), if you could forgive its Xenomorph origin story's utter betrayal of the 1979 film's most central concept: it's about fucking Aliens (LITERALLY LMAO!) Oh god. Messrs O'bannon, Giger and Lovecraft's collective coffins must be spinning fast enough to power FTL travel and discover cosmic horror IRL.

It's all moot as unfortunately, its cast are even dumber than that of Prometheus aka Attack of Bald Space Jesu. Just pure, bottom-of-the barrel slasher idiocy from start to finish. Mix in X-TREEEM boring as hell stuntin' and Juicy Smoulliet, that lousy French comedian. I felt bad for getting angry at Smarmy Scientist Man taking his helmet off like a jackass in Prometheus. Now his character arc seems positively enthralling. (to recap: "WOO-HOOO!" Stop it you fuck! You'll get Galaxy AIDS! "LOL DAVID U HAV SMOL PENOR" What is this dumb motherfucker doing, antagonising poor Robo Columbine...? "AIEEE, I AM DYING" What the fuck did I just see?)

These nutsacks don't even have helmets to remove.

Ultimately ends up in precisely the same place Prometheus did. That is, a shitty film that explains too much about guff yet nothing about stuff, and has only a handful of decent scenes and/or vistas, plus Fassbender, all of which should be Youtubed at safe distance from the wretched flick. Its only convincing scene of alien peril tends to get written off as more of the same Three Stooges-esque idiocy, but I thought it was a pretty effective portrayal of absolute terror. Homie's back just exploded and turned their nice future examination room into the grimmest abattoir, also, the parasite responsible is going for your throat! I know we're all yawning in the aisles at this point, but that is some rank shit!

Also as a great shumping enthusiast, I did enjoy this scene in particular!

BGM: "GREAT BATTLESHIP" ♫ (CRANK IT FUCKING LOUD )

BOMBAAA

Spoiler

"HE GOING TO KILL US"

Spoiler

NICE BOMB! (JUST LIKE UR MOVIE LMAO)

Spoiler

Jesus, it was only seven years ago that I was naive enough to get excited at "THE RETURN OF RIDLEY SCOTT." Now it's "THE RETURN OF [PRODUCER, TEEHEE] JAMES CAMERON." It's like poetry they etc etc.

There was some slight silver lining. It does end poised for some quality body horror outside of the now-decrepit "un-informed space friends discover bad alien shit, aieee!" formula. Could get some Dr. Moreau going on in the third film, which I believe has been announced? With our recent talk of failed trilogies, this one seems to be staggering on. One out of three is bad, but if Scott could just rein in his god-awful scriptwriters, I could enjoy it. Possibly.

[Jonny2x4]

Jesus, it was only seven years ago that I was naive enough to get excited at "THE RETURN OF RIDLEY SCOTT." Now it's "THE RETURN OF [PRODUCER, TEEHEE] JAMES CAMERON." It's like poetry they etc etc.

James Cameron's word doesn't even mean anything anymore, since he promoted Genisys in a video, calling it the true sequel to Terminator 2 and basically disowning the third and fourth movies, and now he's disowning the fifth one while promoting Dark Fate. I'm guessing he doesn't want to alienate potential investors for the 20 Avatar sequels that he says that he's been making over the last ten years.

There was some slight silver lining. It does end poised for some quality body horror outside of the now-decrepit "un-informed space friends discover bad alien shit, aieee!" formula. Could get some Dr. Moreau going on in the third film, which I believe has been announced? With our recent talk of failed trilogies, this one seems to be staggering on. One out of three is bad, but if Scott could just rein in his god-awful scriptwriters, I could enjoy it. Possibly.

Will "Prometheus 3: Alien: Covenant Part 2" be a thing at this point?

[neorichieb1971]

Movies are such low quality these days. You would get better quality from TV Shows.

I doubt Ridley Scott could get a decent budget for Covenant 2, since Covenant was merely a remake of Alien/s. All that work gone into zero creativity for movies that bore you and flop at the box office.

We are now in an era of sequels where the originals were so successful but the writers and creators never knew why. They create sequels but miss the mark. Star Wars has now been rebranded "Disney Star Wars" because its so shit.


El Camino 6/10
Escape room 6/10

[BryanM]

Did it even had protagonists? Never saw Convenant, but everyone in Prometheus was too much of an idiot that did not deserve to live.

David is the-

David is very much Covenant's protagonist

@*&Y#(&*HFn you got there first

Yeah, it's a slice of life grotesque comedy thingy. Like Dark Seed, but with less plot!

... fck, I wanna watch a movie based on Dark Seed 2 now. The ring toss game arc would be a thing of epic beauty.

I've talked about how the human element is the most important aspect of media, and if the writer doesn't care about what he's doing why should we? The original Dark Seed had a self-insert Mary Sue as its protagonist. How Mary Sue was he? The character had the same name as the game's designer+producer. Also he's the digitized sprite. Dark Seed 2? Not written by that guy. Instead, it basically dunks on the protagonist the entire time instead. Now that's high art.

but if Scott could just rein in his god-awful scriptwriters, I could enjoy it

Scott rather is the problem. And is also the reason various alternate continuity movies never got made.

You really, really don't need to spend millions of dollars to know if a story or game will be any good. Prototyping in text works splendidly.

I've mentioned Zygote before and how annoying it is this stupid little free short is better than most movies.

[xxx1993]

Just saw Zombieland: Double Tap! Enjoyed it!

[Jonny2x4]

Scott rather is the problem. And is also the reason various alternate continuity movies never got made.

He pretty much pulled rank on Neill Blomkamp and cancelled the Aliens sequel he was working since they were going to prioritize that over Alien: Covennant (back when it was still going to be "Prometheus 2" and not directly tied to the Alien franchise, which also explains why the sequel suddenly had "Alien" on the title when the original was supposed some sort of side-story set in the same universe).

I know Blomkamp gets a lot of flack because all three of his movies (District 9, Elysium, Chappie) have basically the same story, but his "Alien Xeno" draft actually seemed pretty cool and felt like a movie someone actually wanted to make and not a rights-grab like Covenant was. At the very least it gave us some cool concept art.

[BIL]

TERMINATOR: DANK BALLS leaks are true, apparently.

Spoiler

I'm curious how exactly Eddie will get PWNED, maybe it'll be emotional? >_> I heard AHNULD just rolls up and *BAP* *BAP* *BAP* "HASTA LA VISTA EDDIE" (tyres screeching) Sarah: "NAWWW" but we'll see I guess.

Spoiler

It's actually sad as all fuck, if you pretend this is taking place shortly after T2. Good job capitalising on that momentum, dohoho. FUCK U JAMES CAMERON U RUINED IT 4 ME

I'm such a sucker for this stuff. Listening to the Covenant Half In The Bag now and remembering being excited at that poster with all the Engineers getting... PWNED BY ALIENS! Never happened, lmao. Eat shit, consumers!

[GaijinPunch]

I know Blomkamp gets a lot of flack because all three of his movies (District 9, Elysium, Chappie) have basically the same story,

I think he takes flack b/c he knocked it out of the park on his first at bat and has arguably whiffed since then. (Kinda like M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

[emphatic]

Just watched DREDD (2012) for the first time since I saw the 3D version in the cinema. Still 5/5 for me. Amazing movie.

[Vexorg]

Clueless: **

It's basically #firstworldproblems, the movie. Pretty sure I'm not in the target demographic for this one, but for as well regarded as it seems to be, it doesn't seem to have much of a plot, spends a lot of its time going nowhere, and ends in just about the creepiest way it could possibly end. Not that I make a habit of watching 90s teen movies, but I think I liked 10 Things I Hate About You better than I liked this one, but I don't think I'd be in too much of a hurry to watch either one again.

Apparently there's a darker and edgier reboot TV series (a la Riverdale) in development at CBS.

[it290]

Just rewatched The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension. This movie is obviously a total mess, but man, what a fun mess. It's kind of crazy that despite the insane popularity of comic book movies right now, no one is really making movies like this with a comic book spirit, where a rock star can travel through the 8th dimension and Jamaican aliens can help save the world. I also think Peter Weller deserved more leading roles—he's not a great actor, but man does he have a lot of presence (although Goldblum kind of eats the scenery in this one as usual).

I know Blomkamp gets a lot of flack because all three of his movies (District 9, Elysium, Chappie) have basically the same story,

I think he takes flack b/c he knocked it out of the park on his first at bat and has arguably whiffed since then. (Kinda like M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

I think Chappie is arguably more successful than the other two, if only because the relationship between Chappie and Yo-Landi is kind of endearing. District 9 is really overrated IMO.

Just watched DREDD (2012) for the first time since I saw the 3D version in the cinema. Still 5/5 for me. Amazing movie.

I just did a rewatch of this too (bought the 3D BR during a brief period when I was snapping up 3D releases) and although I think it basically holds up it didn't work quite as well for me this time around, too many one-liners and generic bad guy dialogue. The source material isn't exactly nuanced but on this viewing I felt they could have made a movie with the same basic action premise (which is great) along with some slightly less caricatured bad guys which I think would have resulted in a better movie. In particular, I think there was a real missed opportunity to make the main villain relatable. By not doing that, Dredd just comes off as a stereotypical fascist 'good guy' which really misses the point of the character. As an action movie it's fine, but as a Dredd movie it just slightly misses the mark.

[scrilla4rella]

I just finished watching the three Hesei-era Gamera movies and -- holy shit, if you have any interest in kaiju eiga the you need to watch these. I think they’re better than the vast majority of the films in the Heisei and Millennium Godzilla series. They’re just really well made movies. I had written these off for awhile but was pretty blown away after watching them. Plus, there’s PVMs in a ton of the shots.

[BrianC]

Clueless: **

It's basically #firstworldproblems, the movie. Pretty sure I'm not in the target demographic for this one, but for as well regarded as it seems to be, it doesn't seem to have much of a plot, spends a lot of its time going nowhere, and ends in just about the creepiest way it could possibly end. Not that I make a habit of watching 90s teen movies, but I think I liked 10 Things I Hate About You better than I liked this one, but I don't think I'd be in too much of a hurry to watch either one again.

Apparently there's a darker and edgier reboot TV series (a la Riverdale) in development at CBS.

I heard Clueless is based off Jane Austen's Emma?

[Xyga]

Just watched DREDD (2012) for the first time since I saw the 3D version in the cinema. Still 5/5 for me. Amazing movie.

I remember back then, 'too close for comfort' mame Cave leaks was still a topic, and when I saw that movie I was like
o fuk GLITTER DELAY

[BIL]

The kinda filmic artistry that makes a bubblebath and a motherfucker getting his wig split equally balletic and beatific (;｀ω´;)

[drauch]

Every time I think about Dredd and the slow motion drops I can only think about my arthouse porns that I really want to direct.

[EmperorIng]

I watched Exorcist III. Has about everything I like in a horror film: long, slow atmospheric shots, unsettling sound design, and a truly oppressive creepiness that pervades throughout. George C. Scott kills it, as does Ed Flanders. Attack of the Grandpas! Brad Dourif channels all of his crazy into an incredibly memorable performance as the titular Legion (well, if you go by the original name of the movie before Excorist was slapped on). Even in the 'compromised' theatrical, having Nicol Williamson as... the titular Exorcist was a great touch. I love him in just about anything. The way he shit-talks the demon-suffused Dourif had me thinking of Merlin in Excalibur.

About the movie's scares: Seriously disturbing imagery. Sometimes without even showing anything! Your mind is all the more disturbed.

I have the Shout bluray, so I am looking forward to watching the semi-director's cut (what could be salvaged from old vhs tapes) for comparison.

[emphatic]

Every time I think about Dredd and the slow motion drops I can only think about my arthouse porns that I really want to direct.

You and me both.

I watched Exorcist III. Has about everything I like in a horror film: long, slow atmospheric shots, unsettling sound design, and a truly oppressive creepiness that pervades throughout. George C. Scott kills it, as does Ed Flanders. Attack of the Grandpas! Brad Dourif channels all of his crazy into an incredibly memorable performance as the titular Legion (well, if you go by the original name of the movie before Excorist was slapped on). Even in the 'compromised' theatrical, having Nicol Williamson as... the titular Exorcist was a great touch. I love him in just about anything. The way he shit-talks the demon-suffused Dourif had me thinking of Merlin in Excalibur.

About the movie's scares: Seriously disturbing imagery. Sometimes without even showing anything! Your mind is all the more disturbed.

I have the Shout bluray, so I am looking forward to watching the semi-director's cut (what could be salvaged from old vhs tapes) for comparison.

IIRC, it's very close to the source material (novel called Legion, a direct follow up to The Exorcist). It is amazing. I can highly recommend the TV show The Exorcist as well, starring Geena Davis!