Movies you've just watched

[Air Master Burst]

Airplane is pretty solid, but it also spawned years of truly awful Leslie Nielsen movies like Spy Hard. Call it a wash I guess?

He was in every show in the 60s and 70s in serious roles, too, but those reruns were always silly to me because he's the fucking Airplane guy. I'm sure all those parts are WHY he got the Airplane role, too, kinda like a reverse version of casting Jerry Lewis in the Day The Clown Cried.

[NYN]

Would one or more of the lovely weirdos (you know who you are!) point me at a one or more movies by Mario Bava? Horror-wise.
I honestly don't know where to start.
Just to know what the guys signature is here. Thank you kindly!

[BIL]

Probably more drauch's dept (my forays into 'orribles d'Italia are mainly Argento and Fulci), but I'll recommend The Whip And The Body (1963, Bava directing under SECRET NAME John M. Old), featuring the immortal Sir Christopher Lee, for a good sado/gothic time. Disgraced nobleman KURT has returned to the castle, to harass his ailing father and younger brother for he PATRIMONY! And ALSO to bang his one-time fiancee, who has since become engaged to kid bro! What a rascal! Then ghostly shit begins to occur - in the castle! But what is really going on?



Weird creepy things and big busts abound! That's "busts" as in lovely lady shapes, not furied explosions of unhallowed JIZUM, you filthy hentai devils! Also a classy Engrish dub.



Like many a good vintage horror, is be on teh youtoobs - FO FREE Last I checked anyway!

[Lander]

Got the hankering for some DeNiro and watched The King of Comedy on the thread's recommendation. For some reason I was expecting a highly exuberant role in stark contrast to Bob's withdrawn real-life persona, but Pupkin (whose first name suddenly eludes me - I'll put that down to a successful bit of artistic forgettability ) proved quite the nuanced picture of confident off-kilter obsession.

Enjoyable indeed. Though I find there's something about death mask satire and other such black comedy, not potent enough to qualify as uncomfortable, but more an ambient hum of uncertainty over how deep the pint of guinness goes after my metaphorical taste receptors saturate. Perhaps that's the intended effect, bugger if I know. Another round, bartender! *hic*

Excellent flick! Weirdly though...

Spoiler

...my memory of the ending is that it is so unbelievable (the unattainable level of adoration he so painfully needed being met especially -- the endless ovation; the "wonderful", "just wonderful"s from the announcer), that to me it couldn't be anything but a glimpse into Pupkin's mind in full delusional flow as he fantacized from a prison cell. The ambiguity was probably intended though, and AFAIK the only example of this form of ending from Scorsese. It wouldn't have taken much tweaking to achieve something similar with Taxi Driver's conclusion, when the real rain finally came and washed the scum off the streets (not suggesting that would have improved the film!).

I was thinking along those lines come the end, though perhaps without quite as much conviction

Spoiler

Specifically in regard to how the film toys with reality as it hops in and out of Pupkin's fantasy, using certain subtle cues like re-recorded footage - or the more on-the-nose non-diagetic laughter tunnel - to delineate for the viewer. Come the end fantasy is merged with reality and the cue is ever-present, leaving it hard to call.
And yes - the ovation! I thought the increasingly-dense announcements of his name eventually tipped over the line of how a real TV announcer would behave. I definitely give it the credit for ambiguity, since the literal and implied options are both interesting food for thought - relatably mad as the former may be

I find myself wondering if Rupert's mother even exists; bit of a Norman Bates vibe there.

He didn't rewind the tape which would be in stark contrast to the perfectionism of an obsessive.
But then again... Jer'll understand; he's a good fella, great guy - practically family! Love 'im like a brother!

How old are you and are you from the US? I have European friends that don't realize half of that joke is Barbara Billingsly delivering it.

Early 30s UK with no prior Barbara Billingsly lore. I'd say there's enough of a cultural echo in her age, visual and delivery for the discerning moviegoer to catch the drift, enriching as the full context of typecast domestic bliss must be in practice

Airplane is pretty solid, but it also spawned years of truly awful Leslie Nielsen movies like Spy Hard. Call it a wash I guess?

I was surprised at the volume of mid-to-low tier movies when browsing through his filmography. At least we got Police Squad, the first Naked Gun movie, and selected gags from the sequels out of it.

[BryanM]

.... ok I give up, I'm no librarian of internet. All this De Niro talk reminded me of that scene of De Niro, or an actor highly similar to him, was in an Adam Sandler movie or something where there's a very cringe musical number in a coffee shop. What the hell is the name of the movie I'm thinking of?





(Cringe always glomps onto something super hard. I can't think of Magic the Gathering without seeing those bored ape jpgs in my brain anymore. I'm beginning to feel bad if Robert is an innocent bystander who got hit as collateral damage here, because the cringe was just that potent.)

[BIL]

Oh, you're thinking of Dunk-a-Cino, from Jack and Jill.

[GaijinPunch]

How old are you and are you from the US? I have European friends that don't realize half of that joke is Barbara Billingsly delivering it.

Early 30s UK with no prior Barbara Billingsly lore. I'd say there's enough of a cultural echo in her age, visual and delivery for the discerning moviegoer to catch the drift, enriching as the full context of typecast domestic bliss must be in practice [/quote]

She played June Cleaver, from the show Leave it to Beaver. Literally, America's perfect mother from the 1950's. Black and white, stay at home in the suburbs home maker... dealt with inane ass kissing from the legend himself, Eddie Haskell.

[GaijinPunch]

Valley Girl [1983]

"Like I'm so sure!" Take all the nostalgia of a John Hughes high school movie, remove most of the story, add some tits and some ridiculous collars and polos, then give it an arguably better soundtrack and this is what you get. I realize the last statement is pretty controversial, but with the Modern English's classic I Melt With You and a shitload of gems you've likely never heard of but are dope (such as Angst In my Pants) I stand by my claim.

Yeah it's got some cheese and isn't the most dramatic of stories, but I think this was meant to be like most high school teen movies of the late 70's / early 80's - except this one is quintessentially 80's, and maybe the earliest of its kind. The fashion, the drugs, the mall... it's all here. The parents of most of the high schoolers look like they're 28 as well, so that's cool.

[BryanM]

Oh, you're thinking of Dunk-a-Cino, from Jack and Jill.

Ah, Al Pacino. Of course of course. >_<

My eye kept twitching everytime I googled variants of cringe movie song number about coffee and that wasn't the very first thing to come up. (Some AI overlords they are.) Was beginning to have conspiracy theories that someone decided they wanted to hide this horrible shame.

[Vexorg]

Fool's Gold: *

Sandleresque "adventure" rom-com that's unrelentingly dumb from start to finish. Kate Hudson puts in a Razzie nominated performance as she finally ditches her loser husband (Matthew McConaughey) who's spent the last eight years chasing a lost treasure all while being pursued by a loan shark gangsta rapper for some reason, but the Gods of Plot demand that they get back together anyway so they both end up on some Rich-Idiot-With-No-Day-Job's yacht along with his Dumb Blonde daughter searching for the treasure, and it's all as cliched and annoying as it sounds. Runs about 110 minutes, about 75 minutes of which could be completely deleted with no effect on the story. Or better yet, just let Kate Hudson's character actually get away from her loser husband and end it ten minutes in.

Deserves every bit of its 11% on Rotten Tomatoes.

[Lander]

The Maltese Falcon
Patching up my noir knowledge with some Bogey. Sam Spade is a man's man's man if ever there was one, sharp as a knife and satisfyingly grey for much of the runtime, wielding a delivery that would make a machine gun proud on some of his denser lines.

Gutman was a highly enjoyable antagonist; polite and businesslike, immovable in both presence and stature, with a disarmingly jovial candor to disguise any malintent that may be lurking behind the mask; a rare gentleman villain.

The intrigue was well-plotted, and - famous character archetypes aside - kept me guessing to an extent I didn't expect from such an old movie, granting a piquance to the genre-true "that's life" sentiment of the iconic line.

Though I have to say, unless there's a deleted scene guest-directed by John Woo's dad, I find this most questionable.

[Mischief Maker]

Fun fact about The Maltese Falcon that puts several scenes in a different light:

Dashiell Hammett, author of The Maltese Falcon, invented the hard-drinking private eye stereotype. But the hard drinking in Hammett's stories has a distinctly political message behind it that his countless imitators missed out on.

You see, Hammett's novels all take place during prohibition.



"Success to Crime."

[DMC]

Can you kindly identify this movie for me?




Probably British, 90s? Girl's name seem to be Yvonne, and the woman is called Laurie. Despite this info I cannot even seem to google it right.

[BryanM]

Wandering around imgops image search like a scorned hobo, stumbled on a shutterstock page of all things that gave a name. But I've been lied to before, literally 2 minutes earlier. Googling that name and variations of bath gave nothing. But Youtube confirmed it: 1 hour 11.73 minutes into Heavenly Creatures.

[DMC]

Thanks BryanM! You are an elite detective.

Worst thing is I thought the girl did look like that actress from Rose Red, and I checked her filmography, but somehow overlooked this film.

[BIL]

Oh I remember that one (though I wouldn't have recognised it from the stills). Based on a true story, iirc. Pretty brutal.

[Lander]

Attack the Block
A strikingly well produced comedy action horror about the residents of a london estate trying to survive a localized alien invasion during Guy Fawkes Night, centered around the titular block of flats.

Aliens excepted, it just about nails the disaffected London vibe. Casting is solid across the board, with a variety of true-to-life UK character present. Development is nicely paced over the course of the film for the gang of chavs at center stage, taking them from street rats to believable individuals over the course of the runtime. Of note are the two younger kids, who act as a council estate equivalent to the 1st graders from South Park, occasionally undermining the serious grown-up business with some chimney sweep levity.

As a bonus, the ever-lovable Nick Frost makes an appearance as Blinge's weed dealer.

On to the creature itself, and it's this guy from Another World:



Add some fuzz, a dash of Xenomorph, some blue glowstick mouthwash, and you're there.
As homage goes, it's very well done - the maw motion and loping gait are bang on, and a couple of shots could have been lifted straight out of the game.

Horror-wise it's tense but not terrifying. I'd compare it to the hunters from Resident Evil: threatening in a bestial sense and able to create some effective situational tension or pay off a jumpscare, but ultimately fallible in the face of conventional or improvised weaponry.
Said improvisation makes for fun and well-composed action, only brushing up against the filmic silliness wall a couple of times - but to fine effect - with a climax that manages to be british on several different levels.

Recommended if you're in the mood for a tidy 1.5 hour monster mash.

[xxx1993]

I watch that every November 5th along with V For Vendetta.

[Mortificator]

I've spend decades successfully avoiding any movies from three particular money-printing franchises, a streak that came to an end over the holidays when the first installment of each ended up getting put on.



Transformers (2007) – Before they squatted and squeezed out Shit Trek, two writers decided to Trans Form film into pain. Sucking in plain sight. Garbage in disguise (as garbage).

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001) – I could say it didn't grab me, but that'd be silly, since I'm pretty far from the target audience aren't I? It's obviously geared towards kids imaging themselves picking out wizard gear, being selected for a house, making buddies and getting up to trouble. In that, it was an inoffensive lightweight fantasy.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) – This was actually fun! More violent than I expected from something based on a Disney ride, as several people clearly get stabbed to death by ghost pirates. It did eventually feel a little repetitive with the backtracking to revisit scenes; multiple sea chases, multiple jailbreaks, multiple trips to the treasure island.

[BIL]

BayFormers is some fucking unbearable god-awful shit. They're not even Good Bad movies. They're exhaustingly horrid. For the love of God and all that is holy, don't make my mistake and give the next three a chance, they're identically horrid. (though the second is especially awful)

Though RLM, as ever, turn even this arrant dogshit into shiny platinum ingots. ;-;7

Ah, the undeniable scintilla of childhood favourites.



"Hey, 6y/o me! Back in my future world, we enjoy several live-action films with these dudes!"
"Wooooow! Can I come with you?!"
"Sure! We just have to drive off this cliff, that's how time travel works ;3 ;3 ;3 It's for our own good kid ;-;"

[Mischief Maker]

Though RLM, as ever, turn even this arrant dogshit into shiny platinum ingots. ;-;7

Redlettermedia sums up the Michael Bay style of filmmaking.

[BIL]

Just needs repeated cuts to plucky MIKE JR and RICH'S CUTE TEEN DAUGHTER outside, working (humorously!) on GOOD OL' MUSCLE CAR - while ENDEARINGLY FUGLY PUPPER does antics, perhaps pissing all over someone's face - and that's BayFormers VII: The Lost City Of Mianus!

[GaijinPunch]

I've still successfully avoided all of those franchises!

[TransatlanticFoe]

BayFormers is some fucking unbearable god-awful shit. They're not even Good Bad movies. They're exhaustingly horrid. For the love of God and all that is holy, don't make my mistake and give the next three a chance, they're identically horrid. (though the second is especially awful)

Though RLM, as ever, turn even this arrant dogshit into shiny platinum ingots. ;-;7

Ah, the undeniable scintilla of childhood favourites.



"Hey, 6y/o me! Back in my future world, we enjoy several live-action films with these dudes!"
"Wooooow! Can I come with you?!"
"Sure! We just have to drive off this cliff, that's how time travel works ;3 ;3 ;3 It's for our own good kid ;-;"

Yeah but Devastator's giant clanking robot nutsack

[BIL]

Best part of the entire set

Honestly, if he'd had a gigantic robot cock to go with his swinging balls, just like in MACHINE ROBO - a massive crane erection jutting out, comically buffeting Optimus Prime about the face, with a running joke of it knocking over things every time he turns around - the picture would be somewhat redeemed. But that's the curse of those movies; they're AOR, middle-of-the-road, terminally dickless. They never follow through, on anything. Just lots of hararious "OHHH NO NO NO NO NO" hijinks from STAR-STUDDED CAST, mixed with emetic down-home family drama, and an occasional epileptic seizure of tinfoil being flapped about.

Wow! Amazing tension!

So in its stead, my one happy memory of the four I saw is that beardy "comic relief" cunt getting fucking carbonised by a Robo-Grenade. It's played as some heart-rending tragedy, and all I could do was bask in the sight of the infuriating twat frozen in mercury, a statue of anguish awash in a sea of flame More of that pls!

[xxx1993]

BayFormers is some fucking unbearable god-awful shit. They're not even Good Bad movies. They're exhaustingly horrid. For the love of God and all that is holy, don't make my mistake and give the next three a chance, they're identically horrid. (though the second is especially awful)

Though RLM, as ever, turn even this arrant dogshit into shiny platinum ingots. ;-;7

Ah, the undeniable scintilla of childhood favourites.



"Hey, 6y/o me! Back in my future world, we enjoy several live-action films with these dudes!"
"Wooooow! Can I come with you?!"
"Sure! We just have to drive off this cliff, that's how time travel works ;3 ;3 ;3 It's for our own good kid ;-;"

I actually have a soft spot for the Transformers movies. I feel like the Internet is just too harsh on them. Besides, there's more to Michael Bay than Transformers, such as the first two Bad Boys movies as well as The Rock, Armageddon, The Island, 6 Underground, and recently, Ambulance.

[BIL]

The Rock is quite good. Several class acts in there (Connery, Harris, Biehn, Todd), and even Nic Cage isn't too bad.

That movie puts Bay safely ahead of Emmerich, in my grand American SUMMA BLAWKBUSTA Directors Of The 1990s cup!

[xxx1993]

There's just one thing that bugs me about The Rock.

Spoiler

We already know the true main villain is Captain Frye, but is Frye the leader and Darrow the henchman? Or do they both have equal authority? I always thought Frye was the boss and Darrow was the underling. Especially during the final battle when Frye yells, "Darrow, go to the lighthouse, I'll take care of this fucker!"

[BIL]

I always assumed it was a relatively scrupulous commander in charge of a whole bunch of thoroughly evil dudes; once the organisation was decapitated, I'm sure it'd play out in might=right fashion - with the added wrinkle that these are still disciplined, elite soldiers, facing an immediate threat. Work together now, backstab later, depending on how things shake out.

Man. Cracking 90s action film, that. The tight scenario (both the prison confines and the ticking-timebomb plot) work together great to focus Bay. Forgot to mention, the Harry Gregson-Williams score is weirdly reverse-nostalgic now, after several decades of MGS fandom. Come to think of it, so is Big "Sean Connery" Boss.

[Lander]

It was bizarre watching The Rock for the first time after years of Metal Gear, deferring a fact check until the end of the viewing and being in a state of "who stole first" throughout

Much fun, though - bless him - I find Nic Cage can't help but trail wacky woohoo in his footsteps wherever he goes.