Movies you've just watched

[Vexorg]

Johnny Dangerously: ***

1984 parody of old Prohibition era gangster movies with Michael Keaton in the starring role. Follows the story of Johnny Kelly (later known as Johnny Dangerously) as various circumstances result in him becoming the boss of the most notorious crime gang in New York, and also result in his brother Tommy becoming the District Attorney determined to bring down his gang. Leans occasionally into slapstick territory (to be fair, the film does warn you what you're getting into by using a Weird Al song as the opening credits theme,) but never to the extent of an Airplane or Naked Gun type movie. Short and reasonably watchable with a few truly bizarre bits thrown in, but nothing earth shattering.

[xxx1993]

Just saw Sisu. What a bloody satisfying Nazi killing experience!

[GaijinPunch]

Johnny Dangerously: ***.

Fargin' good movie! I forgot about this but as a kid laughed at it uncontrollably.

[xxx1993]

AKA on Netflix was sort of a mixed bag.

[xxx1993]

The Tetris movie on Apple TV+ was really good.

[lilmanjs]

Killers on Parade
What a wild ride it was. Musical numbers, and lots of comedy about a group of killers. Felt very 60s, but at the same time like something that could be made today. Gotta check out more from this director.

[cj iwakura]

D&D was amazing, best movie of the year so far by a mile, and both the best fantasy and comedy film in years, no easy feat.

I'd love to see a series around those lovable losers, and the assorted supporting cast too(poor Jornathan).

[Vexorg]

Peter Pan and Wendy: **1/2

Pretty average for an unnecessary live-action Disney remake. Not much more to say. They went with a much more serious Captain Hook in this one compared to the cartoon version, which takes away a lot of the charm. Seems to keep the forced diversity to a minimum compared to most other contemporary Disney films. I'm sure people somewhere have complained about a black Tinkerbell, but it really doesn't make any difference one way or the other. Given the trajectory of many recent Disney movies I guess we should consider ourselves lucky Wendy didn't fall in love with Tiger Lily or something absurd like that.

[xxx1993]

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3. The perfect conclusion of the trilogy.

[vol.2]

Guardians of the Galaxy 3, 6/10

I wanted to like this movie, and sometimes I actually did. There were some great moments, and it was touching and endearing at it's best. At it's worst, it felt forced and recycled; serving as a vehicle for Vol.3 soundtrack and nothing more. The plot is alright, it's basically a pro-PETA kind of thing, and it plays out well and wraps itself up in a satisfying way. The issue is more that everything else that's going on around that story arc is confusing and disjointed, undermining the narrative flow. It was only after watching the movie and sitting around over a beer with my friends that I was able to reconstruct the plot in my mind and realize what was what.

It's definitely not the worst MCU film (it might not even be the worst GOTG film), but it could have easily been a lot better had they spent more time finessing the sub-plots and maybe on the cutting-room floor.

[ChurchOfSolipsism]

Alien Director's Cut 8/10
Aliens DC 9/10
Alien 3 DC 6.5/10
Alien 4 DC 7/10
Alien Resurrection is a strange film with lots of things I enjoyed (great and memorable OST, Brad Dourif, fantastic handmade special effects for gore and spaceshippy stuff, some really effective horror scenes like the laboratory scene, the Alien queen, Alien/ Ripley hybrid) and lots of bad decisions (Winona Ryder is an awful actress and turns every scene she's in into a cringefest, some dialogue is soul crushingly stupid, fuck Ron perlman's character, middle part is pretty boring, Alien cgi isn't as horrible as in Alien 3 but still quite bad). So strange that they gave the director's job to Jean Pierre Jeunet of all people.

Dr Strange Multiverse bla 6.5/10
Technically, I should have enjoyed much of it since it's quite Sam Raimi-esque, but CGI, no matter how well it's done, makes most films sterile and lifeless. Maybe it's just me though...

[Ixmucane2]

Guardians of the Galaxy vol.3

Too many painfully stupid characters; it might be a deliberate trick to make Rocket stand out, but it comes at the expense both of fun silliness and of the more serious/tragic tone several more characters would deserve.

Moreover, the plot is focused on, and driven by, the psychotic villain, not by the casual heroism of the Guardians of the Galaxy who simply go to war to take care of one of their own. It could be a good framework with an interesting character like e.g. Thanos, but this High Evolutionary is whiny, unrelatable, and not powerful enough to remain active after he starts misbehaving.

[GaijinPunch]

Predator [1987]
Been a while since I had seen this. Forgot a bit of it - was way too young to give a shit about the cover story and why they were in the jungle when I was a kid. Not exactly the deepest story but who cares, we're only here to see one thing: jacked dudes fuck shit up. And in that way, it delivers in spades. Quite a bit of cheese, but the action holds up well today, as does the special effects. Contender for Arnold's best.

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three [1974]
I can see why this is so beloved, and can also see why they remade it. While still a great ride, much of it simply doesn't hold up. The only good guy besides Walter Matthau that wasn't a complete potato was Jerry Stiller, but he's still a partial one. Some cringey dialogue, and behavior that I question the accuracy of. Basically takes 3 phone calls for anyone to take the terrorists seriously. I was only born a year later so don't really know, but they laid the sauce on thick at times.

Tommy Boy [1995]
I saw this once ages ago, and I don't watch it through the nostalgia goggles that everyone else does. Still, it is a fun vehicle where I believe Farley outshines Spade (which I guess he usually did) but I find Spade's dickish-ness is better when he's not playing a dork. Some good stuff here - always sad to think about his life. The biggest foul in this is Bo Derek's hair. It's everything wrong with the 90's. Almost undoes some of my 80's spank bank... almost.

[ChurchOfSolipsism]

Predator [1987]
Been a while since I had seen this. Forgot a bit of it - was way too young to give a shit about the cover story and why they were in the jungle when I was a kid. Not exactly the deepest story but who cares, we're only here to see one thing: jacked dudes fuck shit up. And in that way, it delivers in spades. Quite a bit of cheese, but the action holds up well today, as does the special effects. Contender for Arnold's best.

I prefer it over the almost equally as entertaining but dumb as brick Commando. In some places Predator is a lot more than well produced 80s action cheese, it's a raw, primal experience, for example when Arnie is holding the torch and is screaming into the jungle. There are some amazing visuals in it as well. Absolute classic.

[Air Master Burst]

I've detailed before my boundless love for the flamingly gay brilliance of Predator, so let me just add that this is the best assessment I've heard in a while:

I prefer it over the almost equally as entertaining but dumb as brick Commando. In some places Predator is a lot more than well produced 80s action cheese, it's a raw, primal experience, for example when Arnie is holding the torch and is screaming into the jungle. There are some amazing visuals in it as well. Absolute classic.

Also a sexual awakening for a generation of boys.

[ChurchOfSolipsism]

hahaha yeah, it's amazingly easy to read it as a gay text.
I really liked the scene you posted since, read in a more literal sense, it implies that this crazy merc fucker is totally willing to get high on a strong hallucinogenic on a fucking mission in a fucking jungle (wouldn't work in real life, of course, but fuck it). What a random and cool detail.

[GaijinPunch]

hahaha yeah, it's amazingly easy to read it as a gay text.

When Arnie says to Dylan, "Why don't you help instead of complaining". There's a 2 second gap and the next scene is the 3 of them pulling down a tree, full flex, lathered in body oil. Perfect double feature with Top Gun.

[Air Master Burst]

hahaha yeah, it's amazingly easy to read it as a gay text.
I really liked the scene you posted since, read in a more literal sense, it implies that this crazy merc fucker is totally willing to get high on a strong hallucinogenic on a fucking mission in a fucking jungle (wouldn't work in real life, of course, but fuck it). What a random and cool detail.

Predator works so well on so many levels it should be taught in movie college instead of fucking Citizen Kane or whatever stupid shit old-timey movies they teach them now.

[ChurchOfSolipsism]

hahaha yeah, it's amazingly easy to read it as a gay text.

When Arnie says to Dylan, "Why don't you help instead of complaining". There's a 2nd gap and the next scene is the 3 of them pulling down a tree, full flex, lathered in body oil. Perfect double feature with Top Gun.

Top Gun is one of those 80s classics that I still haven't seen...

Anyway,

A Chinese Ghost Story - 8/10
Hadn't seen this in almost 30 years and was surised to see it holds up very well. It's got a simple but effective plot, great casting (Leslie Cheung is just perfect as the bumbling, mostly useless tax collector), cool special effects, great fights, great flow, it's a total classic.

Part II - 6/10
None of the plot or the way most characters act in this film makes any fucking sense whatsoever. Some good, some mediocre special effects, some cool fights, but it lacks the freshness or originality of part one and is just a giant mess of a film. On its own terms, it's a decent, wacky film, suffering from the typical problems HK films from that era often suffer from (lack of cohesion for example), but still, it wouldn't be so disappointing if it wasn't the sequel to a fantastic film.

[NYN]

Uh-oh.

Recently re-watched Predator, too. The whole thing does nothing for me anymore. I noticed, much like a countdown, on earlier re-watching how much the elements the flick gets still lauded for are miles apart from another. The biggest offender now to me being the direction (COME GET SOME: DIE HARD suffers even more for the lenght). Insert my groan here. So aimless. Final battle way too long. Editing, please. Creature-stunt-guy stumbles a lot, no threat. I mean, hey, I knows fellas, the period, the faces, the whole sfx schmear: I just can't pretend anymore. No fun zone, it's not ironic enough. The dozens of video game knock-offs it spawned be praised higher than this! Even the gal, who quoted from it over the last + decade will not see it anymore after. Say what you like about Predator 2 and its inherent flaws, at least the direction doesn't bore me to aggression levels.

[Air Master Burst]

Uh-oh.

Recently re-watched Predator, too. The whole thing does nothing for me anymore. I noticed, much like a countdown, on earlier re-watching how much the elements the flick gets still lauded for are miles apart from another. The biggest offender now to me being the direction (COME GET SOME: DIE HARD suffers even more for the lenght). Insert my groan here. So aimless. Final battle way too long. Editing, please. Creature-stunt-guy stumbles a lot, no threat. I mean, hey, I knows fellas, the period, the faces, the whole sfx schmear: I just can't pretend anymore. No fun zone, it's not ironic enough. The dozens of video game knock-offs it spawned be praised higher than this! Even the gal, who quoted from it over the last + decade will not see it anymore after. Say what you like about Predator 2 and its inherent flaws, at least the direction doesn't bore me to aggression levels.

Predator 1 isn't actually a very good Predator movie, but that's barely even the point. It's not really about the fighting, it's about the sweaty forbidden lust openly displayed between glistening 80s musclemen as millions of repressed Reagan-era dudes nervously cover their laps with the popcorn bucket to hide their confusing and shameful erections.

But yeah, the Predator blood and thermal vision effects looked pretty bad even by 80s standards, and most of the cool Predator gadgets don't show up until Predator 2 and AVP, so if you just want some hot Predator action it's not the best choice.

[ChurchOfSolipsism]

I'd only ever seen isolated short scenes from Predator when I was a kid. Properly watched it for the first time in my life last year, fully expecting some braindead, artless bullshit like Commando, and was surprised to see that it really wasn't that at all. It's not high art by any means, but it's a lot more than the average 80s action flick, and definitely artful at times.

[GaijinPunch]

At the time I quite liked Predator 2, but I was quite young. I should probably give it its day in court as an older man.

[drauch]

I'll reserve my Predator 1 talk since it's awesome, but I will say Predator 2 is pretty fun in its gang members vs. Predator plot. Some entertaining ridiculous action and violence, but it gets pretty bland at times. If it was just straight up Predator vs gangs without any police interference plotline it'd be much better. Like holy shit, if it was just Predator 1 but in the city against a bunch of hard fuckers it'd be god tier. It's still unfairly shat upon; or, at least nowhere near as bad as people claim it is. Unlike something like Predators, which is fucking unredeeming shit.

[vol.2]

I saw Predator on VHS because I was still too young to get into an R rated film without parents, and my mom was interested in that one. She did take me to Robocop though

I must have been too young to get the sexual posturing of the movie, because all I remember was a bunch of bad-ass dudes with big weapons shooting an alien in the jungle. Yeah, you can extrapolate "big weapons," but it honestly felt like a video-game come to screen for my little brain. Arny was especially cartoon-like and really sold the aesthetic.

I'm not saying I wouldn't see all these things in it as an adult, but I didn't see it then, and I watched it several times (it was the favorite movie of a buddy) so I'm not exactly chomping at the bit to revisit.

Interesting thoughts on it though

[Air Master Burst]

braindead, artless bullshit like Commando

Commando isn't quite as gloriously gay as Predator, but it's easily a close second in the 80s action lineup! It starts with full-on lumberjack bear Arnie raising a daughter alone in the woods. The movie introduces him thusly:



The main villain of the movie is a straight-up leather daddy who constantly shouts things like "I DON'T NEED THE GIRL!" and looks like this:



Arnold regularly grabs other men by the balls. Bill Duke shows up in one of the most blatant fighting-as-a-sexual-metaphor scenes in cinema history. Arnold gives an entire monologue about how badly Bennett wants to penetrate him. That whole 5-minute montage of a glistening Arnold rowing in a tiny speedo! There's TONS of this stuff and it's not subtle!

At the time I quite liked Predator 2, but I was quite young. I should probably give it its day in court as an older man.

Predator 2 is rad as hell. The blood and the thermal vision look way better, the Predator has more dope gadgets, and Gary Busey is unhinged as ever. Sadly it's not really very gay, but the action not sucking makes up for it.

AVP1 and The Predator are also fantastic. AVP2 and Predators are pretty bad.

[Stevens]

This last page is awesome. A+ material.

[Mortificator]

Several things sink Predator 2 and #1 among them is that it completely fails trying to sell Danny Glover as hardcore. I don't believe for second that this softie could win against a superhuman manhunter. Consequently, all the predator's gadgets come across as overelaborate junk. Doesn't one even hit Glover dead-on and do nothing? The jungle predator may have stuck to the fundamentals, but claws and a shoulder cannon will kill a mofo.

[GaijinPunch]

This last page is awesome. A+ material.

Having spawned a piece of it, I can't remember the last time I was so proud of myself. Probably the day my son was born.

Sadly I feel it is not reaching its full potential w/o BIL.

AVP1 and The Predator are also fantastic. AVP2 and Predators are pretty bad.

I kinda liked Predators. Only saw it once, which was likely enough, but they just cut to the chase, and it had a different enough gimmick to hold my attention. Also, "the big ones hunt the small ones" showed what cunts they really are.

Now, why has every body avoided bringing up Prey? Here are my thoughts on it from all the way back in September. One thing I don't mention there is they did the often dreaded DEI / "woke shit" right. Didn't white wash the natives, and even released a Comanche dub of the film. She doesn't just come in with girl power at the end (or even the beginning as it happens a lot these days) and save everyone - she kinda sucks at first, gets better, grows, (you know, has an arc) and goes toe to toe with the Predator.

I'm sure if they had a bigger budget it would be hard to justify not getting Scarlet Johanson in there, but I think the scale of it worked quite well. Not perfect by any stretch but it entertained.

[Air Master Burst]

Prey is really good, I was thinking of that when I said The Predator (which, despite me watching it less than a year ago, was so unmemorable I thought its title belonged to a completely different movie; that doesn't bode well for its quality).