shmups.system11.org

Taken from the House of the Dead 2+3 review on 1up.

Jesus Christ Resurrected.

Have infinite continues? "The game is too easy as you can continue right where you left and therefore it gets robbed of any challenge, blah blah blah, malarkey, arcades are dead and I'm so gay for Zack in FF7 Crisis Core...."

No unlimited continues?"The game is too hard and it robs you of any fun raping you brutally in the ass hoping to appeal to the now-defunct breed of hardcore gamers of the dead arcades and I'm so gay for Zack in FF7 Crisis Core and I want him to rape me in the ass, blah blah blah, malarkey..."

Rando Moment approaching fast.

x10

What Specineff said.

Christ...it's not like they're talking about a 40-hour long RPG. If it feels like grinding, you probably shouldn't be playing. I wonder what they would have said about the item-collection mode in HOD2 DC? "There's no reason you should have to go through the game again to collect all the items."

Also, I love how they mention the "Cardinal Sin". They bitch that it's too easy if there is infinite continues, they bitch that it's too hard if there isn't.

You just can't win with those reviewers....

Commenter from 1up says...


I agree.

Poor Spadgy.

I also agree.

Disgusting

Imagine how the Metal Slug ports would have been reviewed without infinite credits. I think the only reason these games are kind of popular with mainstream gamers is because they can blast their way through this game in what is practically god mode.

God forbid these video game reviewers have to actually try hard. It makes you wonder if this lazy, easily-frustrated behaviour only applies to videogames for these people or if they act like that otherwise, too. "These weights are flawed and worthless - why should I have to lift them and break into sweat if all I want is huge muscles?"

Yeah, but at the same time, some of those same people use it as an excuse not to play the game anymore because it's "too easy". In the thread linked from the Ikaruga XBLA thread, one of the posters said that he was glad he had to earn credits because otherwise he would just credit feed through it the first play through and never play it again.

It's like a terrible actualisation of Alien Soldier with a lot of mainstream views on credits.

SUPEREASY <-- --> SUPERHARD

I remember EGM brushing off Metal Slug 4+5 for the PS2 due to free play... the most positive attitude seems to be "give me free play so I can bitch about it, that's much better than this frustration." Often they don't seem to be aware of any middle ground, or why anyone would stick to it.

The problem is that with deadlines, if these people played arcade games like they're supposed to we'd be getting reviews of level 1, but it'd be slightly less a waste of time to read it.

By the way I've started using the name arcade rapist I think it describes the mindset of these people better.

That's the great thing about video game magazines and sites these days, you don't necessarily have to be good at video games to get a position. Just recently Games Radar did a video comparing ridiculously basic Street Fighter II Turbo combos with ridiculously basic Street Fighter IV combos. Horribly beginner combos are tried and 'Granted, we didn't check the ultra-hardcore re-dizzy combos' is their excuse for anything over four hits. But they probably don't know any re-dizzies, anyways.

Or write well or, really, anything.

Lawl.

Freeplay=bitch because it's too easy
Finite continues=bitch because I can't win on one credit like those lifeless bastards do

Or something like that.

I thought about saying that, but that sort of thing is a bit issue laden. You or I could go to GameSpot or Kotaku and have a laugh at the writing, but Average Joe on the Internets or lil' Jimmy might actually find their prose to be completely enthralling and informative. Writing for their intended audience (in most cases, fratboy gamers and complete idiots that like to argue on the internet) is something they usually do well.

there's also the unwritten game reviewer rule that 2d or unconventional gameplay on a modern non-portable platform = max score of 8 (or 9 on a good day) or else publishers of absolutely !!FANTASTIC!! games like FEAR and Crysis with their obviously evolved graphics engines^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h gameplay will get mad at you

the problem is even worse in famitsu, trust me. just replace fear and crysis with dragon quest and SMT and omit the graphics engines part and add a whole lot of blatant (not implied, no they don't beat around the bush here) payola

seriously

"this is great old fashioned gameplay, and thus PURE SHIT SORRY go enjoy the latest direct-to-DVD graphical adventure from the boys at Barking Dog Entertainment / Crave"

They say the same crap when there's no save feature. Like God Hand.

Have any of you guys tried it? Every review out there says the game is so hard you shouldn't bother with it. But if you put less than half the commitment you put into clearing shmups, you finish it in a couple of weeks, even on hard. And yet it's considered one of the hardest games ever.

Seriously, WTF

Needs frame-by-frame quicksaving.

why on earth do you people read reviews on the internet?

Why on earth does anyone read anything on the internet?

What you say?

This, in turn, makes me wonder what happened to Hardcore Gamer. In their review of Ultimate Ghosts 'n' Goblins, for example, the reviewer admitted that there WERE unlimited continues, but derided that option as unworthy of consideration.

Meanwhile, I'm reminded of an old Fox Trot strip where Andy is asking Jason how he's doing with the Star Wars game (he got it as a Christmas present) he's playing. Jason responds that he's not playing; rather, he's testing every joystick/button configuration he can think of to find cheat codes. Once he's put them on the Internet, and received all the other cheats, THEN he'll play in earnest (i.e. with all the cheats active). As Andy mutters "SOMEONE'S going to get a lot of board games next Christmas", Jason continues "What's the point of playing if I don't win every time?".

This sort of situation DOES make me wonder what most modern game magazines think winning a game is supposed to signify.

They're now a quarterly magazine, which basically means they'll be completely nonexistant by next year probably.

Want a game that literally requires frame-by-frame quicksaving? This is the game for you : http://nightbug.net/mario/air/airmenu.html

{sigh} Why is it that the magazines that know how to appreciate the old and the arcane ALONG WITH the new and familiar are the ones that tend to collapse? How is appreciating all four inferior to appreciating just the new and the familiar? (Readers ARE looking for as wide a range of games to consider, yes? What do they do when--not if, WHEN--they want a break from the usual?)

Major publications suck... ass.... totally. They're worthless. They generally play games "on the surface" and don't attack a single one. The reviews are usually after a few hours (at most, often less) and therefore aren't reviews, but rather impressions. I realize that not all of 1UPs reviewers are complete morons (some even post here, and have more than enough clues), but realistically, and sadly, Johnny console gamer wants those infinite continues, and the review benefits by the reviewer crying about them.

{quiet chuckle} My point was, once Johnny GETS those infinite continues, what's the next thing he wants? (AFTER he has his quota of FMV's, special effects, etc.)

I imagine even the mainstream gamer gets sated with the flash and wants something of lasting substance. Why can't the mass publications cleave to that to some degree?