... and it made me smile.

[vol.2]

Revisiting an old classic:

[BIL]

The name ever?

[Sengoku Strider]

@briantylercohen
The incredible moment where Alex Jones is informed that his own lawyer accidentally sent a digital copy of his entire phone to the Sandy Hook parents' lawyer, thereby proving that he perjured himself.

https://twitter.com/briantylercohen/sta ... 6V5EQ&s=34

After he had refused to hand over his phone, and claimed under oath that he had searched it and there were no messages about Sandy Hook on it.

Warm and fuzzy.

[BIL]

Fucking lmao

"He's stabbing me!"

[Stevens]

Love the end:

"Please don't let me die sir"
"Shut up"

Hahaha. Fucking piece of shit. Got what you deserved trying to steal from a dude trying to make a living.

[o.pwuaioc]

Love the end:

"Please don't let me die sir"
"Shut up"

Hahaha. Fucking piece of shit. Got what you deserved trying to steal from a dude trying to make a living.

No direct confirmation, but apparently he's not up for charges (yet, at least), so that's good. And that bodega owner in NY had his charges dropped, too.

I'm not a justice boner kind of guy, but seriously, fuck robbers, *especially* from regular people and their shops.

[Stevens]

I agree with you on the justice boner thing, but that dude even asked nicely for his coins back and that still wasn't good enough for them.

They made the mistake of thinking he was a door mat, but the reality was he was trying to do them a favor.

[BIL]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhWMTcX4hTM Angry English granny tells man-sized pubic louse to eat shit

[__SKYe]

Was browing around in wikipedia when this showed up



Funny thing is, the article proper is fine, only the popup is changed.

[BIL]

"Why does it have to be a BBC? He only said hardblackdick. May be he was a hardened black detective?"



---

Glad to see Darrell Brooks, after a month of petulance, systematically annihilated by what he mistook for his BFF, the Right Hon. Judge Milfy. "Bro you're making that woman fucking angry, she's going to rip your shit open sack to back when the time comes" said all sons of competent mothers. "Sheeeit muhfugga! I ain't tryna hear that, look how she smilin'!" said Brooks. "LIBERAL CUCK JUDGE LETS CRIMINAL DISGRACE COURT" said shit-eating 4chan incel midwits.

Aaand yeah, oof. Beginning of the end. Once it was done, if words could kill they'd have hosed him off the walls.

Only improvement would've been nailing him for federal hate crime charges, you know, for stating his desire to brutalise elderly white people, then slaughtering five of them in the street, with a little boy for good measure (kill them crackas' babies). Like Mr. Brooks, I too am a mutt, and hoo boy - how I fucking despise overcompensators. They're always ruining shit for the rest of us, and by "us" I mean fucking humanity. Like he claims to be, I am also a Christian, and if he were serious he'd be hiding under his desk in terror from the man upstairs, not bloviating to his victims on the mortal price of not forgiving him for that one thing that happened. An appalling shit expertly flushed.

Now Mr. Gangsta Fly Thug Blackedy Black A Black-Black Y'all is gonna spend the next millennium dodging cocks of all colours and creeds (This Is America ). Is it cultural appropriation, or racism, if a big white dick goes up his bum? Haha, yeah I know, "what big white dicks?" LMAO! How about a big black one then? I guess that'd be reparation.

[Udderdude]

From what I've heard, they might be tossing him right into a supermax. 23 hours a day in a cell. You get 1 hour a day to stretch your legs. And you don't even get internet. Sounds like hell to me. lol

[BIL]

I was just thinking to myself "y'know, I could handle 700yrs if I had intern-" then yeah, saw the Supermax thing. Hell on earth. An ocean of time without the greatest timekiller known to man, ouch. Also willies

Damn though, these some fine beary bros, so huggy! Homie with the hand gonna cosplay Big Bear at next year's EVO!

[Udderdude]

Donyanpachi https://twitter.com/donpachislk/status/ ... 8036552704

[Lander]

At last, it is time for you to go and get me biscuits.
Farewell.

[Mortificator]

This YouTube rec:


I can't think of a video game protag I'd want to chill with less. Compared to Kratos, Wario looks like pleasant company.

[BIL]

"Chill with Jeffrey Dahmer and the lads!" Geddit - chill? BWAAHAAAAA

What an inviting thumbnail though - looks like great conversation and convivial camaraderie is abounding at the din-dins, as everyone stares into space over an empty table! Christ, my dick is getting soft just looking at these glum "lads." Expected live bumming entertainments, at least, given Kratos's hellenic roots. They invented bumming as we know it, some say!

Some kind of Indian caste war is raging on the FILMBOARDS.COM Goodfellas board, buna. Went there in a fit of longing for the ol' IMDB forums they're based on, hana.

[Lander]

When the plumber actually shows up, and actually fixes the sword of damocles-esque leak hanging over the living room telly

Some kind of Indian caste war, buna

Are those Indian honorifics? Google seems more interested in teaching me to cook than it does in broadening my linguistic horizons, hana.

And it's surprisingly easy to misread 'hana' as 'haha', which adds a nonchalant air to proceedings. Scum of the earth, haha

[BIL]

Fucking leaks/plumbing in general... the IRL *BOOF* PREY SLAUGHTERED *SHING* when you've safely seen the fuckin back of em!

Yeah I wondered about "hana / haha" too! It's so magically boned in there and other threads, I just sat back and enjoyed the mystery. "These people are the lowest of the low, haha!" Blistering racial enmity has never been so convivial.

Also, I just re-read the immortal Roast Meats was lie about "under my muddas name" and almost did an explosive coffee-take, my brainmeats in cross-culture linguisto/dialectal freefall. Ahahahaha! Fuck me, I miss the ol' IMDB boards but this kinda helps tbh!

EDIT: Jesus I'm dying, I love how "smoke" is deployed so flatly, particularly discussing the unfortunate fates of Mr. and Mrs. Roast Meats Grandpa, where were you when JFK was smoke? Only a letter off from the very august "smote," hmm!

[Udderdude]

As is the way of the world, everything gets turned into an anime character. Iron Fossil never looked so cute.

https://twitter.com/taitostation_i/stat ... 5480098816

[Mischief Maker]

I found a young lady who came upon a novel method for getting a leg up in the cutthroat youtube cooking scene.

[BIL]

Ah, I knew a broad who did that, circa 1million years BC

Youtube's automatic game recognition has once again surpassed itself:



Game recognise Game!

[Blinge]

LiD = Let it Die

I don't troll the discord nor make alt accounts but this guy's convinced himself that I do

[Udderdude]

Youtube's automatic game recognition has once again surpassed itself:



Game recognise Game!

They got it wrong again.

[BIL]

An innocent cock?! There's no such thing. No cock worth a fuck, anyway. That's the burden of man, Alfie my son.

Wait, roosters don't have cocks, do they? Fucking hell, that's awful. All that walk and not an inch of cock!

[Lander]

Alfred may not not have a reproductive organ, but he's all cock. Begone, PS1 demo disc PTSD!

[Chaos servant Blinge has invaded]

[BIL]

Haha, I missed that.

!!! Invaded By Daywalker Spirit SPLENDIFEROUS BURINJU !!!

[Blinge]

It's that time of day..

..i've been chuckling at nothing but this little gif for a couple minutes now

[BIL]

The auld versatile classic Compare to this feral beast CIT once posted, altogether more niche!

---

Fifteen years ago, a remarkably stupid - yet disturbingly calculating, in his own way - hillbilly paedo from ButtFuck Maine fell afoul of beloved 00s Atrocity Exhibition To Catch A Predator. Central to his internationally-televised execution was one Casey Mauro, a young actress playing the "13y/o girl" our protagonist was there to spirit away from her parents' home, to his slum apartment in Nashville, for a weekend of depravity and bologna.



Upon completing a five-year prison stint, having plead out to avoid potential decades for his stated intent to create CSAM, he was released to lifetime RSO status, indefinite probation, and confinement to his home state. He has spent the intervening years in a Chris Chan-esque purgatory full of trolls and catfish. In the latest infamy visited on his lumpen dome, he was told this same actress is madly in love with him, and waiting for him to pick her up from the local airport. A weekend of depravity and bologna, so long denied, was once again in sight! So of course, he made the four hour round trip without question.

This is what he wore!

And this is the conversation they had after the ruse came to light. 3;

Now I know what you're thinking: "This is a bit dark for It Made Me Smile isn't it?" The thing is I'm a gigantic asshole >;3

*it's a fucking bloke with a voice changer playing the chick - this happens a lot with this dude

[Blinge]

the purgatory thing is rough dude jeeesus.
the life of a lolcow.

anyway this one's silly: I just saw an image of Waluigi.
My god.. if there's anything that proves people will accept whatever creatively bankrupt shit that gets shovelled into their mouths.

Wa luigi.

You probably roll your eyes at this point and say "what the hell, one hell of a late complaint, blinge. get over it, it's done.. it was done a long time ago."
With time, and nintendo shitting down their pez-dispenser fans' necks... you just come to accept it. we accept it

[BIL]

Still u got 2 admit its pretty clever how Waluigi's chin can bum Wario's chin



Y helo thar CHINBUTTSEX

The best summation of Lorne is probably his having scammed an elderly, cancer-stricken couple of their life savings prior to fleeing the state - and landing on TCAP - then, upon learning his "fandom" had repaid the surviving widow her $30,000, replying "Fuck her, the bitch can get a job," when Catfish Gurlfrien #Nth asked what he was doing to repay his extant debt. He's a very special blend of borderline-retard fantasist and lifelong petty crook, kind of a Chris Chan II Hyper Fighting. Oh and yeah he's an unrepentant paedo. I hope he dies in awful pain. \(O_O)/

Having, unfortunately, worked with creatures like this in a professional capacity, I do wish he'd sort himself out. Or put one through his brainstem. Either way = safer society. Unfortunately, after a solid decade of willfully failing to pass his RSO treatment class (he still dreams of suing NBC on "entrapment," and thinks the necessary allocutions would sabotage his big payout), I'm pretty sure the only reason he hasn't murdered a girl or woman is his notorious cowardice. And even that can be gotten around with enough drugs and a gun.

It wouldn't surprise me if he went Derrick Bird one day. In the meantime? Cucked by Chef Boyardee. :/

EDIT: A vile man in full, our protagonist attempting to get his leg over on an injured woman in her sickbed. (Dr. Lorne MD's celebrated opinion on Ischemic Brain Injury: "I dunno how yew gawt 'brain damage,' ain't nuthin touched yer brain!") Lorne's archetypal Stalker Cycle, from simpering saccharine worm, to passive/aggressive wheedler, to jet-engine cry-screamer when his dreams of easy, sleazy Lifetime Movies bliss crash down.

If someone could write black horror/comedy this good, I'd buy all their books. Observers often joke he's an escaped Stephen King character. In Lorne's meager defense, while he'll spam anyone claiming to be female and under 25 with his grotesque nudes, I don't think he's ever quite pulled a Fartin' Martin. Then again, even if he did parp, Hansen Prime's raging SSJ2 aura would've merely buffeted it right back in his sweaty mug!

---

BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA

Oh noes! NOT MUH ROVABLE RAPPIN FRENS (;｀w´;)

HOW THEY COULD DO DAT IN TH- wait.

I bet it's a cunning ruse of some sort. Mistrial inbound!

Either that or they're dumb as shit. Historically in the CRYMEZ RAP WRRRLD this has been the case. 3;