Movies you've just watched

[PC Engine Fan X!]

Pertaining to the classic sci-fi The Empire Strikes Back movie, imagine if Lucasfilm & Industrial Light and Magic (ILM) had did a scene with the fearsome & deadly assassin droid IG-88 duking it out in a intense close quarters type of shootout/firefight with Boba Fett. How would Fett assess this grim situation and live to see another day? Of course, IG-88 has it's internal "thermal detonator" if it needed be as a last resort/to gain the upper-hand. Fett has plenty of tricks up his sleeves to get out of such predicaments/situations by making critical decisions "on the fly". That would've been quite a legendary nail-biter scene back in 1980, indeed, for TESB. Do you think ILM could've pulled this off back in 1980?

When you think about the famous scene TESB with all the bounty hunters aboard Darth Vader's Star Destroyer ship, IG-88 could've easily killed everyone pretty quick with it's insane multiple blaster firepower (especially with it's crazy multiple tracking sensors all operating independently of each other). Of course, Vader could've used the Force to end this situation once and for all if it came down to it -- he wouldn't allow that particular situation to happen in the first place as each bounty hunter respected each other but when off to pursue their quarry/bounty, all bets are off. It's every man/droid/species for themselves. Or Vader could've had a "restraining bolt" put on IG-88 so that situation would not arise as a safety precaution & peace of mind.

PC Engine Fan X! ^_~

[vol.2]

Infernal Affairs, 2002 8/10

This gem screened tonight at my local theater for the revival series. Surprised I haven't seen it yet as Hong Kong action films were right up my alley in the early 2000s.

For those that don't know, this is the film that Scorsese was "inspired" by when he directed The Departed. I can safely say that this is much better than that movie.

If you want a good dose of cop/gangster action with a distinct daytime drama flavor in a Hong Kong New Wave style, this is your movie

[Air Master Burst]

Do you think ILM could've pulled this off back in 1980?

Not the way you imagine it. Practical effects could be pretty impressive back then, but you had to play to your strengths. The Rancor worked because you could build a giant one and physically toss Mark Hamill and his stunt double in there. Same with all the spaceships and speeders and such; you could make a physical prop that the actors could believably interact with.

IG-88 is too skinny to make a proper costume for an actor to move around in, so you're left with a couple not-great options: Either the model would be mostly standing still while Boba Fett ran around trying to keep his Goodwill costume from falling apart, or you're doing stop motion. Neither would have looked very good compared to the rest of the movie.

Heck, even by ROTJ they couldn't really figure out how to make a compelling Boba Fett action scene. All they could really afford/engineer for the badass jetpack dude was having a blind guy accidentally knock him into a pit.

[BIL]

Scene: SLAVE I™'s rec room. BOBA FETT™ is reclining on his couch, stark naked except for his iconic HELMET, enjoying a refreshing jerk to a coveted PRINCESS LEIA™ HOLOFAKE™- his MANDALORIAN™ BLASTER™ humorously obscuring his turgid member as he throttles his cockerel with steely discipline.

Just as BOBA™ gets his rocks off to a crescendo of CG CARRIE FISHER™ moans, IG-88™ bursts into the room, hosing the scene down with his PARTICLE DISINTEGRATOR™ - unfortunately for our intrepid assassin, BOBA FETT™ is using his MANDALORIAN™ STEEL BUTTPLUG™, and the feared BOUNTY HUNTER™ deflects the would-be killshot with an agile flip onto all fours. IG-88™ is decapitated, his headless chassis strutting about humorously to the sounds of CARRIE FISHER™ enjoying a superb climax.

SMASH CUT to ONE WEEK LATER, where we see BOBA™ enjoying that night's ball game with his comrades CHINGY CHELMSFORD™ and ALBERT EINSTEIN™; a slow pan back reveals he has repurposed IG-88™'s remains into a new TV tray for his rec room, the former killbot now serving as a convenient tray for BANTHU DIP™ and HONTHO FRIES™.

~FIN~

[Air Master Burst]

~FIN~

Infinitely better than the actual Boba Fett show. Replace Leia with those two green pig guards he had and it's perfection, 11/10 would masturbate furiously to again.

[xxx1993]

Just saw John Wick: Chapter 4, and it was an epic conclusion to such an epic franchise. Fast X and Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One will certainly have a tough time trying to follow this. But if anything, at least it ensured the inevitable release of The Expendables 4 later this year. Long live The Expendables!

[NYN]

Long live The Expendables!

GUFFAW!

Say, was that an deliberate joke or more of serendipity? Honest question. Honest answer?

[GaijinPunch]

I really liked Hateful 8, even the super-indulgent long cut. I love wickedly treacherous thrillers with the intimacy of stage performance. Reservoir Dogs for roughly the same reason, and David Mamet's Glengarry Glenn Ross.

I'm with you here. Hateful Eight I liked better revisiting, just as I moved to California and sat around watching "an episode" with an old friend I was staying with (and would unbeknownst to either of us, quaranteam with for 2 years a couple of weeks later). We were gonna do an episode a night. Figured we'd knock out 2 and 3 on night a 2 and my counterpart said, "well there's no way we're not watching the last episode right now..." Walton Goggins was the gem. Haven't seen as much of him in a while but looking forward to whatever he's in next.

Scene: SLAVE I™'s rec room. BOBA FETT™ is reclining on his couch, stark naked except for his iconic HELMET, enjoying a refreshing jerk to a coveted PRINCESS LEIA™ HOLOFAKE™- his MANDALORIAN™ BLASTER™ humorously obscuring his turgid member as he throttles his cockerel with steely discipline.

With you here, too! lmao.

[Air Master Burst]

Walton Goggins was the gem. Haven't seen as much of him in a while but looking forward to whatever he's in next.

Highly recommend both of the Danny McBride series he's on, Vice Principals and Righteous Gemstones are both fantastic.

Also it was dope when the predator ripped his spine out in Predators.

[GaijinPunch]

Highly recommend both of the Danny McBride series he's on, Vice Principals and Righteous Gemstones are both fantastic.

Yeah, excellent stuff. That I've caught up on, so I should have mentioned that. Can't wait for the new season.

Also it was dope when the predator ripped his spine out in Predators.

Damn, forgot he was in that.

[xxx1993]

Long live The Expendables!

GUFFAW!

Say, was that a deliberate joke or more of serendipity? Honest question. Honest answer?

Probably serendipity. I’ve been watching every action movie from Lionsgate in the hopes of resurrecting The Expendables franchise. Giving them my money. And it’s on the verge of a fourth installment this September. Sylvester Stallone may not be in the main role, but Jason Statham will carry out the fourth movie.

[Air Master Burst]

Somehow The Expendables never did anything for me despite my intense reverence for super gay hardcore 80s action movies.

But they are apparently putting mah boi TONY MOTHERFUCKING JAA up in the 4th one so of course I'm gonna have to see it in the goddamn theater.

[BIL]

Oh fuck, I might have to actually watch that. Jaa redeems all, at least provided they don't cock up the editing too badly.

Still the maddest shit I've ever seen. There's at least ten times in that sequence a lesser performer would've been self-annihilated sack to back. The stuntmen are beasts too, RIP young homie going thorax-first onto that dumpster If Oldboy's corridor sequence is Technos on film - willfully primitive face-smashing brutality - this is latterday Capcom, superhuman athleticism driving furious innovations of violence. Some alpha/omega crossover going on here.

Just read the other day that SPL/Kill Zone actually had a couple sequels, both featuring him. I was quite fond of the original with Donnie Yen, I should add those to my floor-shatteringly weighty backlog!

[PC Engine Fan X!]

For BIL,
Your hilarious take on the classic SW characters of Boba Fett & IG-88 bring 'em both into uncharted territory. So Fett has a thing for Leia (perhaps when she was dressed as a slave girl in Jabba's Palace). It was Carrie Fisher's idea to have her Leia character dressed up like that -- otherwise George Lucas would've said no.

PC Engine Fan X! ^_~

[BIL]

I do remember hearing the famous metal bikini was Carrie Fisher's innovation! What a character she was.



Sweet Jebus!

Well, on the off-chance George buys SW back from the mouse, he can have that scene FO FREE - you know it's what Ms. Fisher would've wanted! ;3

[xxx1993]

Somehow The Expendables never did anything for me despite my intense reverence for super gay hardcore 80s action movies.

But they are apparently putting mah boi TONY MOTHERFUCKING JAA up in the 4th one so of course I'm gonna have to see it in the goddamn theater.

Not only is Tony Jaa joining the fray, but Iko Uwais is also playing the main villain of the movie.

[Air Master Burst]

Not only is Tony Jaa joining the fray, but Iko Uwais is also playing the main villain of the movie.

Sweet zombie jesus I never thought they'd make a fucking Expendables movie into a must-see.

Oh fuck, I might have to actually watch that. Jaa redeems all, at least provided they don't cock up the editing too badly.

I have been madly in love with Tony Jaa since the first time I saw the single best possible commercial you could ever make to promote a martial arts movie.

ETA: That ad on late-nite broadcast got me to take an hour-long bus ride with two transfers to the only theater that was showing it back in 05 or 06, whenever it made it to the US.

[xxx1993]

So yeah, all you need to know about The Expendables 4. Stallone has a limited role, Statham is the main character this time, it will be rated R, and Uwais is the main antagonist.

[BIL]

Blimey Iwais and Jaa in an R-rated action film... I'd be genuinely surprised if it wasn't decent, at the very minimum, with those two onboard and unfettered by the MPAA. I wonder if they'll bring along any of their usual bros, like Mad Dog, or that absolute ninja who played The Raid 2's top killer.

Oh fuck, I might have to actually watch that. Jaa redeems all, at least provided they don't cock up the editing too badly.

I have been madly in love with Tony Jaa since the first time I saw the single best possible commercial you could ever make to promote a martial arts movie.

That last *KRRRKTCH*

I remember that too! Was on BET back in the day. RZA knows how to pick 'em, IIRC Ghost Dog got similar press.

[Air Master Burst]

RZA knows how to pick 'em, IIRC Ghost Dog got similar press.

RZA did the soundtrack for Ghost Dog and also had a bit part, so of course he was shilling for that! Although, that movie is so dope I have no doubt RZA would've done it even if he hadn't helped make it.

ETA: Holy shit, somehow I missed this EVEN MORE BONKERS promo he did for Ong Bak 2. The hostage-note-reading Fedor cameo at the end is pure gold.

[xxx1993]

Another reason why I’m on board is because I can’t wait to see Statham and Uwais’ final fight in the movie. I already saw on-set photos of it, I imagine it’s gonna be epic.

[Stevens]

This will always be Uwais's magnum opus:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAUj0cp ... yarbioskop

Two martial artists at the top of their game, and choreographed by a third guy who is every bit as good. I think Uwais also helped. Untouchable.

[xxx1993]

Oh, trust me, The Raid 2 was spectacular. I can't disagree with you on that one.

[Stevens]

I'm due to watch both. Been quite a while.

[BIL]

It doesn't involve any Raid stars (AFAIK), nor is it martial arts, or even action - but whenever these films come up, I'm always compelled to recommend their director Gareth Evans' "Safe Haven," from the otherwise-middling found footage horror anthology VHS2. Despite the aforementioned distinctions, you will instantly recognise the bone-jarring impact. Prepare to get your shit rocked! Dynamite short. (It's actually only 30min; that upload loops sans sound)

[vol.2]

The Punisher (2004) 6.5/10

Thomas Jane rules. I wish this movie had a script that did him justice, but it is what it is. The main redeeming grace of the film is the level of gore they allowed. There were some excellent kill money shots and good fight scenes.

On the flipside, they introduced some stupid "sheriff" dynamic into the Punisher's character where he flips his coat open and invites an olde tyme OK corral duel. It felt all so very "Gredo shot first" if you will. That was weak sauce and I hated it.

[Air Master Burst]

The Punisher (2004) 6.5/10

Thomas Jane rules. I wish this movie had a script that did him justice, but it is what it is. The main redeeming grace of the film is the level of gore they allowed. There were some excellent kill money shots and good fight scenes.

The only thing I remember liking about this movie was the utterly fantastic fight he had with Kevin Nash.

[BIL]

All I really remember about Jane's Punisher is his entire extended family getting wiped out, which I thought was bit extreme, and in a rather astonishing prop/dummy cockup, poor Kevin Nash getting stabbed with a balisong. Blows my mind how this shit happens even with guns, but at least they're innately more complex. A goddamn knife? Wouldn't you check before plunging it into the other guy's chest? For Jane's part he was devastated, and Nash doesn't seem bothered looking back, but he could've easily been Blue Blazered there.

(that's "killed by a shitty stage team" ala Owen Hart, not the British colloquialism meaning "smartly-dressed" )

Good on Nash for no-selling the stab.

[Air Master Burst]

All I really remember about Jane's Punisher is his entire extended family getting wiped out, which I thought was bit extreme, and in a rather astonishing prop/dummy cockup, poor Kevin Nash getting stabbed with a Balisong. Blows my mind how this shit happens even with guns, but at least they're innately more complex. A goddamn knife? Wouldn't you check before plunging it into the other guy's chest? For Jane's part he was devastated, and Nash doesn't seem bothered looking back, but he could've easily been Blue Blazered there.

Nash no-sold the stab.

This is extra funny because Nash specifically talks about how the real one was only on set in the first place because the weight difference meant Jane couldn't flip the fake butterly knife around properly, so like, you'd think it would be EXTRA obvious!

I also love how apparently he went through "special forces training" to learn how to flip a butterfly knife around.

[BIL]

Recently-declassified footage of Thomas Jane (r) training with TOUGH and COOL U.S. MARINES :

Spoiler

Their top man, a SOCOM instructor said to be so proficient in counter-espionage as to have spontaneously changed his race and sex, later faked his own death in order to go deep undercover and apprehend notorious drug kingpin Bill Cosby