Movies you've just watched

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BIL
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Re: Movies you've just watched

Post by BIL »

The Northman (2022) Dark Ages Scandinavian murder-saga with heavy shadings of the ethereal. As expected of Robert Eggers (The Witch), it's an earthily gorgeous, well-varnished picture, easy on the eyes with its crisp light and velvety dark. Like his earlier film, the plot is poleaxe-blunt with knowingly cruel twists, more than sufficient to carry proceedings. Performances are fiery, though necessarily muted by the overwhelming force of the awful world.

Not a bad evening's watch at all, if you're into this artfully grim stuff. Consider also Valhalla Rising, a more willfully dirgelike trip rooted in the same bloody soil, and a stretch, Paul Verhoeven's Flesh + Blood, another punishing shot of dark ages might=right in a less detachedly amoral, more cynically contemporary tone.

Apparently this movie saw some heat in the more sainted corners of the internet, who regarded the presence of brawny Northern European fighting men as some kind of White Power dogwhistle. If you're one of these people - God knows why you'd hang around this den of sinners - please share with us what mind-altering substances led you to such an exotic misinterpretation of a movie about barbarically-incompetent white people, unless the answer is the usual "delirium brought on by ritual circle of big stiff cocks battering subject about the head face and neck." Also, consider books.

EDIT: Oh hey, I thought that was Bjork. She's always so cute. <3
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Re: Movies you've just watched

Post by vol.2 »

BIL wrote: Apparently this movie saw some heat in the more sainted corners of the internet, who regarded the presence of brawny Northern European fighting men as some kind of White Power dogwhistle.
I heard rumblings of this, but I'm ready to believe that it's mostly woke-bait as I have never been given a clear source for it. Either way, yes it's a silly assertion. I think the part of the movie called into question is the viking raid scene that culminates in Bjork's divination, and the version of this I have heard calls it alt-right, not (generically) white power.
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Re: Movies you've just watched

Post by BIL »

I did a little reading this afternoon, wondering if I'd imagined the whole furore - it's such a harmless and frankly forgettable little Viking Death Wish movie. But nope - for a while, an incipient IDPOL hatchet-job loomed, in the heady fumes of contemporary leftist media and academia. (funnily enough, the movie itself prominently features a bit of fart-sniffing - was this a leftist dog-whistle? or maybe that freshly-decapitated head being lodged firmly into its owner's buttocks was some kind of coded XTREME murder threat! :shock:)

The gist is that so much as portraying historical Viking society is now a dog-whistle. Also, an "all-white cast," "masculine warriors," and "heterosexual norms." In other words, mundane reality is now a racist tinderbox. Oh no! Save us, Millennial Thinkers!
The Grauniad wrote:In an ideal world, film-makers wouldn’t have to give a moment’s thought to how their films might be co-opted by these groups; we could simply enjoy a movie such as The Northman as a piece of rousing, skilfully made entertainment. The fact that it is no longer possible to do so could be seen as a victory of sorts for the far right, but failing to consider the stories we tell from first principles could be part of the problem that created them in the first place.

By this stage, in fact, film-makers ought to have realised that if the far right doesn’t hate your film, you might be doing something wrong.
I see. Western society is now so sickly and frail, its poor digestive system cannot bear the burden of mundane reality - not even as pasteurised by millennia of historical study, and lifetimes of readily-observable fact ("Bruh did u see that chick knock Tyson Fury the fuck out? Bruhhh"). It's all so monotone, and dimorphic, and straight!

Per the time-tested intellects of Twitter U, in association with bastion of political neutrality Teh Graun, the solution is to burn down the historical record - that den of patriarchy - and from its ashes, synthesise woke realities; ones more amenable to the stricken patient's failing bowels. Filled with coal-black Viking chieftains! And hordes of 5'1 110lb Woman Warriors! And flame-lit, sweat-slicked, reach-around Viking bumsex! Which probably happened anyway, but we had to stamp out the bit where the bloke fucks his missus behind some trees. How grotesquely *dry-heave* heteronormative! *upchuck*

(a white-starring "The Zuluman" picture was also proposed, for nutritional balance - causing the synthesiser to violently lock up. Noted in maintenance log)

This regimen will surely restore Mr. Society to good health, and soon, have him back on his feet - marching on towards that Great Progressive Future! Or no, how about you beat the lazy hypochondriac fucker about his legs and ass with the biggest, hardest-backed history book you can find, until he scurries off and learns to tolerate solid food again. If he can't manage that much he should probably just die anyway. Image

You know, here on the other side of the crater, progressives are regarded as human cancer - sure to devour society from within, if not rooted out with the appropriate dose of controlled-yet-absolute violence. One of the conservative supermajority's great rallying cries is that women don't merely want equal rights and social standing to men - they wish to usurp men, to cast them down. Likewise, that gays don't want to marry and live in peace like everyone else - they want to turn straight couples into a hated underclass, and sabotage all they hold dear.

So the violence very much gets done - celebrated in wildly-popular radio tunes that chart in the US and UK, in fact - and society remains mired in a dead end of extreme conservative dogma.

Here's a famous glimpse of this mindset, Stateside:

Spoiler
Image


Personally, in the first world, I think all this frantic social media-driven autofellatio is going to burn itself out. Imagine the neck pains, jeeze. I remember Obama making an offhand joke about the new First Dog - "He's a mutt. Like me!" - and while we in the former colonies laughed at the man's characteristic easy charm, here in Mother Blighty, there was a brief but furious attempt to stoke a controversy. It died out, of course. I saw similar, when some tiny Scouse bird improbably beat one of the Williams sisters, to great applause from the Wimbledon crowd. "But was it WACISM," pondered the Graun of the crowd's delight at a classic David v Goliath tale. Again, nothing.

But as comically inept as it all is from pampered first-world perspective, that Northman article is precisely the boogeyman the less fortunate are told to beware in my neck of the woods. "They hate and fear you for so much as being God-fearing men and women, and they'd soon see your very history wiped out. Root out and kill them, before they're in a position to do the same to you."

Oh well. I was gonna post the above in one of our three Best Threads Ever™, but then I thought no, fuck it - I went into the movie with the thought on my mind, and came out of it with an answer, and chances are others might be in the same boat, so why not spare them the wondering.

TLDR: This is a movie set in a demographic and culturally-accurate 9th-century Scandinavia. If you think it's "racist" or "white supremacist-affirming," the problem is not with the movie, but your own IDPOL-retarded brain. Seek help.

Everyone else: enjoy the artfully-produced Viking Death Wish: Buff Bloke Fucks His Missus In The Woods movie! Image

I just realised, the scene that must've really chafed certain taints... when
Spoiler
they're going to kill his missus, and Blokey comes out and goes "RARRR! I'M HERE CUNTS! COME N KILL ME NAOOOO" and gets his ass kicked, and the camera cuts to his missus legging it off into the distance without looking back :lol: :lol: :lol: Aaaaahahahaha! That was the right thing to do, by the way - she might survive and bear his children, while he gets his shit ruined to secure her escape! Good man, good lass. Oh noes, not human biology.
:lol:
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Re: Movies you've just watched

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Your social commentary is too good to go uncommented, my dear BIL. You can't expect the milleninal inquisition to comment it though, that would be playing into the hands of the FAR RIGHT!!!??? lol
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Re: Movies you've just watched

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So typical of America. The far left is out waging a war on pronouns, while the far right just robbed half the women of the US their biological autonomy.
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BIL
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Re: Movies you've just watched

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Shumps Farm, home of gaming so X-TREEEM Right, we play with our monitors sideways Image

The Batman (2022) Oho! It's one of those "Christ! We've shat the BatBed with a long line of shitty movies! Let's crib The Long Halloween and hope they forget all that other shite!" reboots. If you're not a FUCKIN NERD LMAO, TLH was the much-loved comic arc which captured a watershed of sorts in Gotham: seeing the fall of the old mob, represented by Maroni and Falcone, and the rise of the "costumed freaks." Batman, Jim Gordon and Harvey Dent team up to put down the mob, but end up sticking their do-gooder noses in Pandora's box! And by the time that cruel bitch lets our gallant trio up for air, nothing can be the same again! :shock:

"Oh ROFL I saw that it was called The Dark Knight" Yeah pretty much! But you'll have to wait until the sequel for Joker, because this is technically Batman Begins Again! ;3

Quite enjoyed. Tone is consistently bleak, verging on a Taxi Driver malaise of vengeful despair from both Bats and the villain alike. Not my favourite genre of Batman, but strikingly done regardless, with a decent payoff. Stylistically, it feels like a refined continuation of Nolan's hyperreal approach, much appreciated after all that godawful BvS shite. Batgear leans towards utility, the big 11th-hour money shot being quite literally that. Winners DO Use Drugs! Batman punches mooks in the windpipe with mirthless efficiency, and while the crims are much quicker about Just Shooting The Fucker as he bludgeons his way through their ranks, Bats dines well on unfathomably light-yet-bulletproof armour. AMAZING TECHNOLOGY! Image It's all efficiently done, with a couple of neato setpieces that just about stay within the self-imposed boundaries. Cracking Batmobile design, helluva reveal, loved it.

I thought Pattinson did well. He more or less channels Robert Smith ca Pornography, but whatever, it's fun. Comic book movie, right? Zoe Kravitz had a very silly line about "white privilege" which provoked blistering rage from some quarters, but I suspect this was a bit of in-universe shading, what with her obliviously blathering said guff while swooning over mahfuckin Richie "How Could This Happen 2 Me" Rich himself, plus the nature of the film's villain and his followers (incels! LMAO), and also the later slam-dunk on Strong Wahmen everywhere, as her dumb ass gets overpowered and choked the fuck out before a big buff dude saves her. Pretty neutral as far as surprise IDPOL bedshittings go, imo! More like crumbs in bed, calm down. Image

"Our scars can destroy us." Good epilogue! Humans, think about what you have done!

Conversely, I missed the leavening good humour of the earlier trilogy's supporting cast; no Oldmans or Freemans or Caines to be found here sonny. Wright and Serkis both turn in manfully gravelly performances lacking nuance. Was expecting Gordon to bust out a "MUTHA FUCKA" at some point. :shock: Colin Farrell helped a bit on this front, an appropriately likeable Oswald Cobblepot. Turturro was excellent as an unflappably regal crime lord, as expected of the great man.

"You know what that meant, kid?"

"It 'meant' he'd swore the Hippocratic Oath."

"Heh..."
10/10 DYNAMITE SCENE (■`w´■)

Wow, it's like I'm back in 2005 and life is considerably less shit :O Interested in more from this team. I heard The Court Of Owls mentioned, now that could be fun in this grimly low-tech mode.
GaijinPunch wrote:Paul Dano delivers exactly what you expect if you're familiar with this previous work.
Haha, yeah. Soon as I saw that fuckin bowl-cut... :lol: Crazy motherfucker.
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Re: Movies you've just watched

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GaijinPunch wrote:the far right just robbed half the women of the US their biological autonomy.
What is a woman?
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Re: Movies you've just watched

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emphatic wrote:
GaijinPunch wrote:the far right just robbed half the women of the US their biological autonomy.
What is a woman?
Someone who identifies as one.
BIL wrote:The Batman (2022)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6B90ic2iKDo



The nephew requested a dumb action movie tonight, so crafty me, I picked a film that satirizes dumb action movies:

HOT FUZZ!

It was a hit.
Two working class dudes, one black one white, just baked a tray of ten cookies together.

An oligarch walks in and grabs nine cookies for himself.

Then he says to the white dude "Watch out for that black dude, he wants a piece of your cookie!"
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Re: Movies you've just watched

Post by GaijinPunch »

emphatic wrote:
GaijinPunch wrote:the far right just robbed half the women of the US their biological autonomy.
What is a woman?
Lol. Touche'. "Child bearing people" for the ultra inclusive, but all the hollering over here just uses the old fashioned word. And as it would happen, those whoe can be quantifiably described as girls.
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Re: Movies you've just watched

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Mischief Maker wrote:
emphatic wrote:
GaijinPunch wrote:the far right just robbed half the women of the US their biological autonomy.
What is a woman?
Someone who identifies as one.
Someone who identifies as what?
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RegalSin wrote:Street Fighters. We need to aviod them when we activate time accellerator.
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Re: Movies you've just watched

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emphatic wrote:What is a woman?
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/S-1w407s4Sg 3;
Mischief Maker wrote:
BIL wrote:The Batman (2022)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6B90ic2iKDo
I knew CC had mad skills, but how'd they record the superior version of the movie I was watching in my head? :o

(that shot of the 60s Batmobile on the road, holy fuuuck! :shock: loved the 70s muscle car interpretation, particularly with that handy roof for not getting your hair set on fire, but god damn! so cool Image)

For real, teh B22 is even more of a 60s Batman hot-swap than the last hour of Dark Knight Rises. To mostly good effect!

I wish they'd just do a proper Long Halloween adaptation. Or maybe its close timeline contemporaries (and fine times in their own right) The Monster Men and The Mad Monk.

Although I guess TLH would seem ironically passe, with both TDK and B22 having cribbed it in recent memory. Maybe an animated movie, ala that fairly stunning Peter Weller-lead The Dark Knight Returns? Those tend to be better than anything in live-action Bats (cf also the indispensable Mask of the Phantasm).
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Re: Movies you've just watched

Post by drauch »

I know that a man is a 'miserable pile of secrets'. Not sure on the whole woman thing. I think I've talked to one of those once or twice.
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Re: Movies you've just watched

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Bil wrote:
I knew CC had mad skills, but how'd they record the superior version of the movie I was watching in my head? :o
Wow - -that was amazing.
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Re: Movies you've just watched

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Not sure on the whole woman thing. I think I've talked to one of those once or twice.
I know you were talking about the docu, but I’m not sure Patterson has either in “the Batman”, considering his introverted, flustered behavior around catwoman. No more womanizing, philanthropist, socialite Batman; now we gotta reclusive vigilante who looks like he hasn’t seen the sun or slept in a week, who’s clearly emotionally distraught and suppresses his trauma in a most barbaric and masochistic method: as a backstreet pugilist vs Gotham trash, who takes almost as many knuckles to the face as he throws. And holy shit, a Batman that actually does some fucking detective work!! Paul Dano as the riddler was phenomenal as well.
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Re: Movies you've just watched

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Mischief Maker wrote:
HOT FUZZ!

It was a hit.

Reminded me of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdkTj2qMukg

I watched that endlessly as a kid: )
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Re: Movies you've just watched

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Youtube removed that amazing Batman clip.
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Re: Movies you've just watched

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Finally got around to The Card Counter. Loved it. These 'possible redemption for a born loser' stories get me every time. A solid riff on the Taxi Driver formula. Didn't love it quite as much as First Reformed, but that one was a masterpiece.
Spoiler
The twist (if you want to call it that) was a gut punch even though it was totally predictable. So sad.
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Re: Movies you've just watched

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GaijinPunch wrote:Youtube removed that amazing Batman clip.
Corridor Crew are too good for this toilet world 3; I bet it'll resurface in slightly less rad form, or maybe on their site.
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Re: Movies you've just watched

Post by GaijinPunch »

BIL wrote:
GaijinPunch wrote:Youtube removed that amazing Batman clip.
Corridor Crew are too good for this toilet world 3; I bet it'll resurface in slightly less rad form, or maybe on their site.
Yeah I found another one on there...looks like worse quality though.
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Re: Movies you've just watched

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Fuuuck, I'm gonna see if I can snaffle a paywalled copy, I wanted to GIF that shot of the 60s Batmobile going full-blast down the highway wreathed in flames. Ridiculous craftsmanship, and tbh, a very real argument that a full-on 1960s Batman revival would be great fun. More fun than that god-awful grey shite they've had Batfleck straining out, for sure.

Only complaint was Penguin not following up his nonplussed "Wah?" by going full "WAAAAGHHH!" at Bats' surviving the fireball. :mrgreen:
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Re: Movies you've just watched

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Thor: Love and Thunder 8.5/10

If this movie had come out 10 years ago, it might have felt too much like self-parody, but in 2022, it's simply self-aware. I thought they did everything perfectly here; it's a comedy action flick that kept me laughing and felt fun and exciting right up to the very end, and it included just enough touching, well done melodrama to bring the occasional tear to my eye. I really couldn't have asked for more from an MCU film. This is the best one since Guardians of the Galaxy 1 imo.

Also of note is that they absolutely did not overdo the whole 70s/80s metal theme thing to the point where it became the driving force of the movie through nostalgia. The proceedings stand on their own accord, and the 80's theme was just used as a stylistic template for whole film like one might use a digital photo frame.

It doesn't get a 10 from me because it wasn't transcendently good like an Ozu film or something. I thoroughly enjoyed the whole thing, but it's not a masterpiece, nor does it set out to be one. That's just my whole way of viewing ratings; for something to get a 9-10 from me, it has to touch me in such a personal way that I can recognize the poignancy. This is not that movie.
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Re: Movies you've just watched

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The Hot Rock (1972) - 4/5

Fun heistish caper with Robert Redford.
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Re: Movies you've just watched

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emphatic wrote:The Hot Rock (1972) - 4/5
Also a fantastic book if you like crime fiction; a Donald E. Westlake classic
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Re: Movies you've just watched

Post by xxx1993 »

Thor: Love and Thunder was another good one!
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Post by neorichieb1971 »

Top Gun Maverick

7/10.

Not bad, but nowhere near as strong as I expected it to be. Fast edits ruined for me in the places where I wanted more.
This industry has become 2 dimensional as it transcended into a 3D world.
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Re: Movies you've just watched

Post by xxx1993 »

Wow, I guess Everything Everywhere All at Once really is as good as the critics and audiences say.
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Re: Movies you've just watched

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xxx1993 wrote:Wow, I guess Everything Everywhere All at Once really is as good as the critics and audiences say.
Yeah it was fucking awesome. David Lo Pan forever!
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Re: Movies you've just watched

Post by xxx1993 »

Proof that 2022 is a being a good year for movies so far, after 2020 was the year they hit rock bottom, and 2021, while being somewhat of an improvement, isn’t really saying much.
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Re: Movies you've just watched

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xxx1993 wrote:Proof that 2022 is a being a good year for movies so far, after 2020 was the year they hit rock bottom, and 2021, while being somewhat of an improvement, isn’t really saying much.
They've been pretty shit for the most part from 2001 on.
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Re: Movies you've just watched

Post by xxx1993 »

Don't be that kind of guy, please... We've had pretty good ones over the past few years. Hell, even original ones like John Wick or revivals like Mad Max: Fury Road.
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