Movies you've just watched

[neorichieb1971]

Pirates of the Caribbean - Salazars revenge (aka Dead men tell no tales)

Has a couple of moments. Starts off at the peak and generally slows down till the end. It would have been better if the story was foretold like an Indiana Jones movie. Unfortunately it just unravels itself. The characters are getting a bit long in the tooth and the gags, rum jokes are getting old as well.

That said, I didn't find it any worse than some of the MCU stuff and certainly wasn't that much worse than any of the later Star Wars movies. It definitely scores highly in the special effects. It gave my subwoofer a decent workout and sometimes that is all that is needed to put a smile on my face. I wouldn't go into it with high hopes, but its a semi enjoyable ride for its duration.

[BrianC]

Pirates of the Caribbean - Salazars revenge (aka Dead men tell no tales)

At least the EU version has a better title. Easier to make fun of. "Salad Bar's Revenge!"

[Zen]

Uzumaki (Spiral) (2000) - Higuchinsky
One a the few remaining (Asian) horror films I had left on my to-see list.
This one is very weak sauce indeed. I could not recommend it.

To cleanse the palate as, it were, I re-watched an old favourite; The Fearless Vampire Killers (1967) - Roman Polanski. Fabulous film.
Roman Polakski himself and Jack MacGowran as Professor Abronsius, are the two leads (though, obviously, MacGowran carries the whole affair).
It also stars a very beautiful, Sharon Tate.
Superb main theme by Krzysztof Komeda, who was a perfect fit for Polanski on his films.

[Zen]

Beyond the Black Rainbow (2010) - Panos Cosmatos

A retro wave film? Ok, cool . . . . . . . aaaand its shit.
Possibly one of the most obnoxiously bad films I have watched.
This is retro wave just about overdosing on methaqualone.

sssss ..... ome. of. the. d-i-a-l-o-g-ue isssss al . . . . . . . so dee . . . . . .livered like . . . . . . . . . thisssssssss.
Annoying, isnt it?
One scene had the female protagonist leaving her small room. No obstacles were in her way and all that was needed was a few steps. Scene took minutes.
All the while, obnoxious retro "sci-fi" sounds assualt you, accompanied with strobe effects.
It is basically the worst 80's shit, weaponized for hipster discourse.

Also; Panos Cosmatos . . . FUCK YOU, MALAKA! https://youtu.be/EyWU-0ppug0?t=53

[GaijinPunch]

If you're into making you're own stuff (clothes, music, stages for photography, etc) it's quite inspirational since it's basically a 2 hour music video with well thought out sets... sometimes things happen in music videos though.

[Skykid]

Beyond the Black Rainbow (2010) - Panos Cosmatos

A retro wave film? Ok, cool . . . . . . . aaaand its shit.
Possibly one of the most obnoxiously bad films I have watched.
This is retro wave just about overdosing on methaqualone.

sssss ..... ome. of. the. d-i-a-l-o-g-ue isssss al . . . . . . . so dee . . . . . .livered like . . . . . . . . . thisssssssss.
Annoying, isnt it?
One scene had the female protagonist leaving her small room. No obstacles were in her way and all that was needed was a few steps. Scene took minutes.
All the while, obnoxious retro "sci-fi" sounds assualt you, accompanied with strobe effects.
It is basically the worst 80's shit, weaponized for hipster discourse.

Also; Panos Cosmatos . . . FUCK YOU, MALAKA! https://youtu.be/EyWU-0ppug0?t=53

Yeah it's fucking dreadful. And after waiting an eternity for the aimless trudging to finally reach some kind of conclusion the bad guy goes out in uncontrolled slapstick.

When it was first released there was a guy on here who claimed to have watched it several times and considered it a masterpiece, which was what prompted me to check it out. I abused him quite badly IIRC, but it was incredible to me how perception can vary so enormously depending on the general aptitude of the patron.

To me it was a product with occasional visual and - at an extreme stretch - metaphorical achievements; but as a film it's a downright dismal shitty failure.

[Skykid]

For the lulz I actually found that original appraisal, circa 2014 I believe:

I thought Beyond The Black Rainbow was the best film I've seen in years. If you like David Lynch, John Carpenter, David Cronenberg or Stanley Kubrick (and lets face it - who wouldn't?) you'll also like this. Stunning visuals and soundtrack and I found it utterly compelling to sit through. The ending was a tad disappointing on the first viewing I have to admit, but the second time round - and afterwards - I think I've seen it about six times now - it seemed quite poetic. A truly, absolutely amazing piece of cinema. I really wish more films would be made like this nowadays, but alas, it's a rare piece of art. Instant top ten list stuff for me. Oh, and it was shot on real film too, according to the director. Imagine that!

Cool -- put it on my Wishlist at Amazon. Maybe Santa will bring it to me.

Take it the fuck back off.

If you like John Carpenter, David Cronenberg or Stanley Kubrick, do yourself a favour and go and watch one of their films instead.

At best, BTBR has some aesthetic/AV qualities, but it's unsuccessful as an engaging piece of film. It masks the fact it has a piss poor script and screamingly amateurish actors by cutting the dialogue to near zero (which I don't necessarily think is a bad idea) and subverting your attention by ploughing trippy imagery at you. A low budget concept film can do without unnecessary exposition, but all this is is concept and no substance. Any sense of narrative is smothered by fingernails down a blackboard pacing, so slow you might need to punch yourself in the balls to make sure you're still alive.

It deals with some interesting ideas on psychology and the dangers of alternative drug therapies, but if your DVD or theatre ticket doesn't come with a complimentary LSD tab, you'll essentially feel as though you're going cold turkey for 1:45 minutes to an A-Level student's end of term art piece.

Its all influence and little originality, and there's an amateurishness about the director that surfaces regularly if you're familiar with his sources. THX 1138, 2001, Cronenberg, Blade Runner sound effects (listen closely) and various sci-fi from the 60's and 70's make the cut. I also won't be spoiling anything by telling you that the 'bad guy' goes down like the biggest fucking chump in film history. I lol'd.

Its more of an excuse for tinfoil hat youtubers to get their panties in a twist over MK Ultras than a credible piece of film, sadly, but if you plan to drop acid beforehand it might be worth a rental.

A truly, absolutely amazing piece of cinema.

A truly amazing statement. I'm not sure whether the fact you watched this subpar artfilm six times is worth a standing ovation or a call to the hospital unit.

[Zen]

And after waiting an eternity for the aimless trudging to finally reach some kind of conclusion the bad guy goes out in uncontrolled slapstick.

This is true. Death by pratfall. I . . . have no words

The whole farce gave me Nicolas Winding Refn flashbacks and made me very cranky indeed.

I wonder did LSU really watch it six times?

it was incredible to me how perception can vary so enormously depending on the general aptitude of the patron.

Difficult one, this. Though aptitude does play a significant part, I tend to lean also to the variance in (natural) brain chemistry as a significant factor in the explanation of preference. Fascinating really, when you consider that this ties into ones "politics" etc.

"The nerupolitics in film critique", now there's an article I'd pay to read.

[Stevens]

Some horror of varying quality:

The Lost Boys - I'm as shocked as anyone that a movie with the two Corey's is still a great watch 30 years later. Not a Halloween passes that we don't watch it.

The Descent - Masterful work of horror by Neil Marshall. Dark claustrophobic, well shot, and even though shit is really dark you always know who you are looking at. The hidden crawlers early in the film are a great touch as well and took I didn't pick up on all of them until after a few watched of it. Makes you wonder if Sara is crazy or if they are being hunted, I'm in the latter camp.

Not quite in the Alien tier, but as close as a modern movie has any right to be.

Pitch Black - Have always liked this one too even if it is the weakest of the three here. Vin has a few cringe worthy lines but is helped nicely by the rest of the cast. Certainly worth watching once, but skip if you don't like VD.

Dog Soldiers is next, seen it a few times and other than one particularly bad line it is fucking great. Fantastic practical effects and a group that is anything but paint by numbers fodder. Definitely worth your time. I wish Marshall would do another legit horror film.

[GaijinPunch]

To me it was a product with occasional visual and - at an extreme stretch - metaphorical achievements; but as a film it's a downright dismal shitty failure.

Credit where credit is due - I can't fault it much for visuals. Not perfect, but it's shot really well (until the end where it looks like a scene out of Meatballs at night).

[Skykid]

^ Better as a picture album than a movie then.

BLADE RUNNER: FINAL CUT

Finally watched the Final Cut right before 2049. It's certainly superior to the Director's Cut and Theatrical Cuts, but inferior to the Workprint for several reasons.

Firstly it's too clean. Losing that layer of film stock grain the miniatures and effects work feel much smaller and less impressive. It's too blue and the colour toning has lost all of the Workprint's visual 'pop' and softened it together. It's still better than the brown toning used in the Theatrica and Diretor cuts, which are very muddy indeed, but the visual splendor of the Workprint is still all but gone. I also prefer many of the alternate takes in the Workprint, including the radio traffic heard over the opening with the eyeball gaze removed, Bryant's office sequence and some others.

It's still wonderful and nice and concise, and at least as zero narration and an opening/end credits sequence.

I'm seriously considering making my own cut using the Workprint and Final Cut as a base, but I'm not sure I have the skill set to render them seamlessly in terms of visual quality (Final Cut scenes would differ a lot from Workprint scenes) and output it all at a high quality finish.

If someone does have the know how and wants to help me with the project I would be happy to give my notes as to what arrangement I'd go for. It's actually not much to do, with the Workprint being the 90% majority and perhaps 10% or less being cherry picked from the Final Cut.

[lilmanjs]

Wheels On Meals (Hong Kong Rescue release)
Why mention the release version? Because it uses the uncut Japanese version, and also has an exclusive Cantonese language track. The movie has never looked so good and is better than I remember it being. I watched with the hybrid audio, which is Cantonese speech on top of the far superior english dub music. Fantasia restoration work. Easily the best looking HKR release to date.

[Xyga]

I'm seriously considering making my own cut using the Workprint and Final Cut as a base, but I'm not sure I have the skill set to render them seamlessly in terms of visual quality (Final Cut scenes would differ a lot from Workprint scenes) and output it all at a high quality finish.

If someone does have the know how and wants to help me with the project I would be happy to give my notes as to what arrangement I'd go for. It's actually not much to do, with the Workprint being the 90% majority and perhaps 10% or less being cherry picked from the Final Cut.

Ask Harmy ? :p

Q: not sure if i've mentioned it already but the copy of the workprint I've watched has a band of altered wrong colors on like 10% of the picture near the bottom, and it's present all along like the whole film's been damaged. Is it the only existing digitized copy ? if so it'd be great if that could be cleand up as well.
The whole colors restoration and scenes insertion/editing seems like a massive, difficult job. But worth it.

[Skykid]

I never noticed any colour issues in the Workprint before. I'll have to take another look.

[Xyga]

It is most apparent in the darker scenes, here's a screenshot-cutout of where I remember it being the most visible;

Spoiler

Although it is there the entire film it is far from being that obvious everywhere, it's not ruining the film I mean.

[Skykid]

That's interesting, I'll look for it next time I get the chance.

[soprano1]

The Masque Of The Red Death (1964)
Another beautiful Roger Corman movie with Vincent Price. I believe this is another adaptation of one of Edgar Allan Poe's stories?

[PC Engine Fan X!]

Considering the events that take place as shown in Beyond The Black Rainbow, it's situated in an alternative 1983 year timeline where cool miniature LCD screens are considered commonplace (compared to using the ol' standby of B&W LCD screens or even resorting to using the tried 'n' true vacuum fluorescent display {VFD} technology screen or even perhaps using the older "nixie" tube based numerical displays -- i.e. like that shown in the original theatrical version of THX-1138).

PC Engine Fan X! ^_~

[Xyga]

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

Ok so that was everything I expected and feared.
Not nearly as bad as a lot of critics said, but I totally understand why a lot disliked the movie. All is due to Besson's poor decisions.

major mistake #1 : it is nearly impossible to appreciate if you don't know the comic, there's no way people who don't know Valerian would get a ton of what's in it.
major mistake #2 : it is very loosely based on one volume (also borrows bits from others) and changes quite a lot of things from the comic's universe.
major mistake #3 : related to #2 Laureline is supposed to be a hot classy readhead for fuck's sake. Delevingne would count as a major mistake even if she didn't have a line.

So Besson basically chickened out, not making a faithful adaptation of the comic because he certainly thought;
'the US and China audiences don't know Valerian, I need to change stuff, make it more today hollywood~ish, hire celebrities and fit all that in a standalone film'
Obvious also that he chose to show an 'episode' packed with action, while Valerian's adventures definitely aren't always so busy, there's a lot of trippy and baroque stuff, pure planet opera, and time travel (which is very important but completely absent from the film)
What a fucker Besson is, he basically came with the ideal recipe to disappoint both the layman and the fans.

As I said in an earlier post; the cartoon 'Time Jam: Valerian & Laureline' animated by Satelight while also being different - with a completely alternate story and timeline also with many changes to the universe though not so radical as the film's - is still truer to the comic's universe in spirit and format.
Instead of a feature film Besson should have gone with a TV series, he had the money to produce at least 2 or 3 seasons of something, if not directed by generic idiots, that would have been better than any Trek.

[Zen]

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017) - Luc Besson

First, let me get these out of the way:
1; I take it that Luc Besson is a paedophile?
2: The race diversity schitck in the opening is full of all sorts of fuck. Keffiyeh and huge Turbans as part of race based uniforms on the nice space station? Ooo, Functional!
3; Rihanna . . . and her name is "Bubble" . . . cause, you know, whores n' shit and she has lines like "what good is freedom, when youre an illegall immigrant far away from home" . . . .
Get it? Got it? Good.

That being said, lets move on;
I have seen the future and it is anti testosterone.
Seriously , this high-t is baaaad and low-t is oh so gooood bullshit is getting fucking old. The testosterone level in the film peaks in Cara Delevingne's brow ridge.

Next; the two leads.

Dane DeHaan.
If the cast of Inception (2010) made you want to punch the screen, this guy will probably finish you off.
I'm not going to rant, I'll just post a picture. Keep in mind that this man is 31 years old.




Cara Delevingne.
Whats to say? If constant fake bored sighs, rolling of eyes, arch resting bitch face, zero on-screen charisma is your thing . . .
Oh, and lest I forget, thanks to Besson she gets to be bossy, bossy, bossy!

Now, put these two together in an on-screen romance . . . . . . Jesus!
She uses love to persuade him to make cosmic "reparations". I think you get the picture by now.
Delevingne can also punch the shit out of Clive Owen, apparently.

The dialogue is cancer. The writing would make Basil Exposition blush. The cgi and visual overload causes an almost instant ennui. I have no memory of the score.

And the main alien race known as "Pearls", . . . oh boy, I aint touchin that one!

[Zen]

I believe this is another adaptation of one of Edgar Allan Poe's stories?

I you have not read Poe and you enjoy these films, you are putting the cart before a magnificent horse.

[GaijinPunch]

1; I take it that Luc Besson is a paedophile?

You actually may be right... at least according to rumor. Too tired to look it up now but all the awkwardness between Leon & Matilda in Leon was inspired by a previous romance with an underage at the time. Apparently like Kevin Spacey but straight. Or something like that. I'm sure it's on IMDB somewhere.

[GaijinPunch]

In the Mood For Love [Wong Kar Wai / 2000]

I believe this was my fourth Wong Kar Wai film and it definitely delivered. Out of those I've seen (Fallen Angels, Chung King Express, 2046, and now this) it was probably the most accessible. The sets and wardrobe were amazing, and I can only imagine they were spot on for a 1960's Hong Kong. Not sure I really saw the point of the last 7 or 8 minutes but whatever. Could have stood for more fluid subtitles (seriously, why do people settle for such shit in HK films?) but it was still quite charming, even though I had to split it into two airplane viewings due to commitments.

Minor irk: The guy likes a good set, but he could do for some more contrasting imagery. Nothing about it is bad, but with the tight quarters HK offers, it sees more could be packed in the frame quite often. That's nit-picky.

[Skykid]

The Masque Of The Red Death (1964)
Another beautiful Roger Corman movie with Vincent Price. I believe this is another adaptation of one of Edgar Allan Poe's stories?

Yes it's Poe. I've never seen it but I heard it's quite good despite me having no clue how anyone could turn such a trippy short story into a feature length movie.

I highly recommend the story (and Poe's others) if you haven't read it.

[soprano1]

I haven't read Poe's work since I imagine my English is poor to understand many of the words and the style he uses. Maybe I'll see if someone did some decent translation of his works in Portuguese, or I'll just dive deep into the stories anyway.

[Zen]

Ah, his writing could be problematic then.

Though by no means ideal, there are some readings of his tales, if spoken English is of use to you. Not the same effect but some Poe is better than no Poe at all.
Obviously, take care which recordings you listen too. I am sure some are awful.

The late Sir Christopher lee read a few.
His reading of "The Cask of Amontillado" being quite well done. I'd recommend his His 2003 BBC 2 reading https://youtu.be/BYtEGQ99J8o?t=26 , rather than his 1979.
(for best effect, I would avoid looking at the screen altogether once the tale starts)

[soprano1]

Thanks for the info, Zen.

[GaijinPunch]

Didn't Vincent Price do a reading of the The Raven? I think it was rather high budget... I recall seeing some of it in high school (or so).

[Zen]

Didn't Vincent Price do a reading of the The Raven? I think it was rather high budget... I recall seeing some of it in high school (or so).

Yes indeed.
He also finished out the reading of Tim Burton's short, Vincent (1982), quoting lines from The Raven, to great effect.
James Earl Jones, Christopher Walken amongst others, have performed it.
Christopher Lee performed it many times. This later (2006, I believe) recitation by him, is particularly fine; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BefliMlEzZ8
Lee's voice and delivery continued to improve as he aged.

[xxx1993]

Just saw Thor: Ragnarok. Had the BEST use of "Immigrant Song" ever.