INHUMAN ROAD: STINKING TURD LIGHTNING
TRASHSTORM IS NOT A REAL STORY.
IS NOT EVEN GOOD FICTION.
IS TRASH GAME REVIEWS.
ALL OF THE GAMES FEATURED WOULD CAUSE A PERSON DISAPPOINTMENT,
ANGER, FRUSTRATION, DEPRESSION, MONEY LOSS INCLUDED.
TO PUT IT ANOTHER WAY: DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME.
Xitilon is back again, and as crap-tastic as before. Today's review is the game that in a full display of creativity was called Thunder.
"How are we supposed to dodge lightning?"
The idea behind Thunder is based on quick response, in this case is by avoid the lightning strikes while picking the bonus items. Sounds like potential fun, right? Wrong. Xitilon made its best on fucking it up. Just like on B Cannon, you can only control the character's direction with one button, and you know how messed up that idea is already. The point of the game is to catch the bonus items dropped by the lightning. This happens when the first branch of the lightning bolt hits the ground, after that, it will disappear in 1 or 2 seconds dropping the bonus nuggets called "Sparks" which will quickly disappear before the next lightning strike and that's all there it is about the gameplay since there's only that: Dodge lightning, get the scattered Sparks.
But I was 1 pixel away from the main bolt, what are you kidding me?
Like on B Cannon, you only have one life before getting a Game Over. After that is starting the game all over again from zero. Besides, the only objective of the game is getting 250 Sparks (bonus nuggets), getting 1000 points, and survive 2 minutes to obtain most of the trophies, the rest is to get Game Over 10 times. Right after that it's time to uninstall this fucking thing.
Graphically is the same pixel trash like B Cannon. That sad, pathetic attempt of being Atari 2600-like which rather than being nostalgic and old-school fails since the 2600 had better graphics and even colors. Take a look at Pitfall for example. ¿You don't like the distorted "Vintage TV" and scanlines? Too fucking bad, you're gonna get used to them 'cos you can't adjust the screen effects. The only interesting thing is how the lightning blot splits into random branches. The sound department is the only redeeming quality of the game as we have this fast paced Megaman-esque action tune that plays for a minute and a half before fading to silence and looping again like an early CD game.
...at expense of what?
Xitilon (and ABA Games) once again threw at us a waste of a dollar for the sake of cheap trophies. My best recommendation is to avoid this game.
Giving Xitilon a buck is encouraging to doing more stupid shit.
Need to say this game sucks?