SP Review: Meet and Fuck Kingdom XII: X-treme Legends

[cave hermit]

In Devil May Cry III Special Edition, there is a scene very early on with a being known as "Jester". He claims to know "a thing or two" about "this place". Now naturally in the context of this cutscene, one would assume he is referring to his knowledge of the inner workings and mechanisms of the demonic tower Dante (from the Devil May Cry Series) is climbing, known as the "Temen-ni-gru".

However, looking at the scene in a broader context, one may instead infer that Jester is in fact a metaphor for an inner struggle on the part of Donte. Let me explain to you, white boy.

You see, in the opening to stage 1, Détente first enters the scene shirtless and rubbing his hair, having apparently exited the shower. On first glance, nothing more to say here. However if one is familar with the works of Pink Floyd bassist/Soviet reunification advocate Roger Waters, one may recall the song, "Get Your Filthy Hands Off My Desert":

Spoiler

Brezhnev took Afghanistan.
Begin took Beirut.
Galtieri took the Union Jack.
And Maggie, over lunch one day,
Took a cruiser with all hands.
Apparently, to make him give it back

This song in turn refers to the iconic Simpsons supporting family member, Maggie Simpson. Maggie is an important character because she is a baby. Babies are funny. The Simpsons are funny. Therefore Cleveland Brown from Family Guy is funny. On paper the message of this song is clear: The Cleveland Show was underappreciated in its time by the mainstream, much like Joss Wheton's short-lived TV serial "Firefly".

Firefly was mentioned once by acclaimed comic book artist and critic Mark Bussler in an episode of Classic Game Room:

Spoiler

"This game is good, like Firefly. That was a good TV Show. Too bad the Jews running Hollywood forced it off the air to make room for an extra episode of The Biggest Loser every night."

-Marco Bussov

Fireflies glow in the dark.

Returning to the discussion at hand, Pasta-Al-Dente attempts to eat a slice of pizza off of the ground after a roving pack of sand demons attempt to murder him for his preference of VTuber agency (He enjoys VShojo more than Hololive, but just a tiny bit more. Regardless the Koronesukis were not pleased with this opinion). Before he can grab the floor pizza, a surviving mr. sandman squishes its smelly stinky smelly stinky so smelly so compelling the odor the stench so compelling feet into the pizza, merging its alluring feet stinky sweat with the pepperoni grease.

Before we proceed further, I advise readers to conduct independent research on whether or not Mike Lindell sells the best pillows in America.

[Sumez]

[Sturmvogel Prime]

What the hell??

This looks like a spam post. A bad one.

[cave hermit]

Part 2: In the Flesh



SO YA! THOUGHT YA!
MIGHT LIKE TO, GO TO THE THREAD?!!
To feel the, WARM THRILL OF CONFUSION, THAT, SHOVELWARE DREAD?
Well, I got some bad news for YOU, shmupper!
Prime isn't well, he's uh, back at the hotel...
And they sent ME along as a surrogate critic!
Now TONIGHT, we're gonna find out if you readers are REALLY ANALYTIC!
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Now last time we all met, I ended our session by imploring you all to do independent research into the Jewish Conspiracy behind the besmirching of beloved cushion salesman/Real American Mitchell Lindor milk chocolate truffle.

Anyway, we're going to be taking a look at Circadian Dice by Shuffleup Games.



This game is essentially the type of game you would find at your Local Game Store, probably while browsing the store shelves during a Friday Night Magic event in an effort to justify the hour and a half round trip to and from the store since you got eliminated from the match in the opening turns by some neckbeard who loaded his deck up with $50+/card shocklands for the sole purpose of securing an extra prize pack every week.



While not officially credited, famed game designer, artist, and political activist Brianna "Tricky Dick" Wu served as a character designer and artist for the game.

However, style and art direction can't carry a game alone, as well illustrated by the recent failure of games like Cult of the Lamb and Stray. So does this game live up to the hype?

it's fun, quite challenging, surprisingly strategic for a game revolving around dice rolling, has loads of replay value and unlockables, etc. Also it is $6 and available both on Steam and as a DRM-free itch.io purchase. This is not a joke. I think it is genuinely a great game in spite of its horrid art direction and completely forgettable soundtrack. You want me to actually describe how to play the game? Just look the game up yourself, you stupid fucking cunt. Fuck you. You worthless gutter trash. Frankly it shocks me that you haven't been gunned down in the streets like the degenerate you are. You miserable waste of flesh. You are living proof that humanity was a cosmic joke. I hate you. I hate you so much. Please do the right thing and end it all. I'd wish that you would burn and fester in hell for all of eternity after that, your bone marrow boiling out of the cracks in your bones, the fat melting, leaking from the pores of your flayed skin, frying the surface as it exits before rendering into tallow dripping from your miserable husk in disgusting rancid globs, but given that the afterlife is a concept collectively made up to cope with existential dread, I'll just have to settle for your cessation of existence.

Anyway I'll see you all next week for my next review. What will I be reviewing you may ask? Check the spoiler for a hint if you dare!

Spoiler

I really miss my cat Tigger. At the start of 2022 My family made the decision to put him to sleep at the age of 14 after the vet gave his prognosis. We think that ultimately the cause of his liver failure was my mom's decision to give him Advil tablets in an attempt to help relieve his arthritic pain. Part of me still blames her for Tigger's death, but I know that my mom loved him and was genuinely trying to make him feel better. Near the end of June my family adopted two 10 week old kittens, Biscuit and Peach. They were brother and sister from a large litter of almost entirely tabby orange kittens. At first when we got them home they seemed like perfectly healthy happy kittens. It soon became apparent that Biscuit was sick. Very sick. The vet says it is congenital. He often just sits there on the couch by himself, trembling and shaking. He wants to eat food, but he can't keep it down. My mother cradles him often like a baby, we feed him milk/formula from a little liquid syringe and give him jarred baby food on the recommendation of our vet. Biscuit enjoys the baby food and eats a bit more of it than his normal food, but still barely eats enough food. We can't even let his sister Peach play with him because she likes to rough-house and given the state Biscuit is in, his body can't handle the exertion and stress. The prognosis for Biscuit isn't good. At this point it is out of my family's hands. All we can do is give Biscuit the love he deserves and hope for the best. In the end, at least he will know he was loved and cared for. We adopted Biscuit and Peach in an attempt to heal the hole left in our hearts by Tigger's death, but it seems like we've only invited more sadness into our lives. But I suppose I only feel sad because I feel love for the little guy, right? As if that helps console me...

In the meantime remember to wash under the foreskin. All sorts of stuff gets trapped under there. Lint, Jolly Ranchers, bootleg pokemon cartridges, etc.

[Blinge]

The amount of lint + fluff trapped under my foreskin after 1 day of wearing some new underwear last week was ridiculous.

I guess fighting games aren't the only thing that has rollback these days.


Cave your post had me howling but how do I know what to think about the game unless Shizuka tells me??
Thank god Sumezka is here to back you up. (I also lol'd)

why does it always come back to the simpsons godamnit

[drauch]

Ahhh, brings me back to the days of yore. In prime dumb-teen era before a shift at my fast food gig I received a great misfortune of having a rogue said lint + fluff that managed it's way into the ye olde pee-hole. Attempts were vain in getting it out pain free, as it made its way down there far enough to enter the scary-zone. So I jerked off and shot it out of there into the toilet. It was beautiful and the burn subsided shortly thereafter, granting me the ability to flip burgers well into the evening.

[guigui]

I have absolutely no friggin' idea of what's going on here. But I love this forum.

[Blinge]

said lint + fluff that managed it's way into the ye olde pee-hole. Attempts were vain in getting it out pain free, as it made its way down there far enough to enter the scary-zone. So I jerked off and shot it out of there into the toilet.

I'm glad everything came through for you in the end..

.. but really though how was that all possible
do you have a HUEG urethra?

[drauch]

All those school years of sounding with no 2 pencils

[BIL]

I tried 2 Meet And Fuck, but it turned out to be a Meat And Fuck and the other cunt was a vegan (｀w´メ) so I pounded his arsehole on an empty stomach while he bit down on a carrot, then left with a mad desire for raw bloody steak - which not coincidentally - resembled his BATTERED LITTLE BOIPUCCI

Wait - why is this in Other Gaming? This is an Off Topic thread if I've ever seen one (｀w´メ)

[Sima Tuna]

Other Gaming = Other Gay Men

It's a cipher.

[BIL]

True. The thread must remain here at all costs.