EXIT TRASHFALL, WELCOME TRASHSTORM
(POWER-DEAD BY BREAKTHROUGH GAMING)
WARNING: THIS GAME CONTAINS FOUL LANGUAGE
READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
Trash games are...back??
You've read it right, Trashfall has returned in a brand new form.
Trash gaming is still on the loose and this is the Trashstorm, where I'll rip those turds apart while everyone cracks laughs about it.
We're here for fun. We don't have to be sad here.
Edutainment reaches new heights...
...New heights on the grotesque level.
Edutainment is no stranger on gaming, we've already saw trash like Webnetic's Rainbow and Quick Mafs, but not something from the "Trash Factory", better known as Myron Kevan Tynes Jr., better known as Breakthrough Gaming.
We all know that Nik and Kit are the first "games" of Myron, and he really liked them at the point of using them for a series of educational games called Breakthrough Gaming Activity Center and his first work is a math quiz game "Creatively" called Nik & Kit's Math Quiz.
Choose your nightmare.
The game allows us to select a level or choosing "Why learn?". Before playing any stage you can select this option just for the sake of unlocking the Trophy of metting Zippy the Circle. That's why "Trophy Hunters" are playing these abominations.
Yeah, like increasing the Bydo Kill Count in R-Type Final 2.
By choosing "Why learn?" we will be greeted by Zippy the Circle who explains us why is so important to learn math.
I'm helping others by warning them about how abominable this game is.
And "No Math Required".
While most of Breakthrough Gaming's monstrosities slap the religious reference on their attract modes, this game does that in this cutscene just like Project: Summer Ice Bowling, ZJ the Ball and Zippy the Circle, inviting us find more references on Numbers in the Bible.
Good Lord, I think God should be offended watching how the Holy Scripture is used for these trash games.
A mathematical disaster of biblical proportions is about to hit thy PlayStations.
The objective of this game is to help Nik and Kit to reach the Bible on the top. To do that you have to answer a mathematical answer correctly. Answering right allows them to take a few steps just like in the Atari 2600 game Math Grand Prix. Depending on which level you're playing, these will involve plus, minus, multiplication and divisions and later a mix of them. If you fail thrice you'll lose and that means start the stage all over.
Graphic example of "Idiocy is rewarded".
Like Webnetic's Rainbow, the game rewards you for screwing up twice on the same level. Yeah, they give trophies for failures. ¿What kind of educational game is that? That goes against the concept of teaching in all known aspects. Unless you want to sabotage a child's learning process, this game does that pretty well.
You've cleared the first five levels?
Now turn the page and choose level 6.
I mean, if failing on purpose to win trophies wasn't bad enough, the shit hits the player harder than you can imagine. Instead of heading to the next level by itself, you have to choose the next level after finishing one, and turn the fucking page for the next row of levels. Now imagine that after clearing a stage you have to go and select a level 29 more times with their respective page turns for 6-10, 11-15, 16-20, 21-25, 26-30. That's fucked up.
Jossett: Can you wash my dress?
You: FUCK NO! *Gets gunpointed on the head by a COG soldier* Well...fine.
I can't imagine an appropiate punishment to compare with playing Nik & Kit's Math Quiz. I mean, you'd rather be a political prisoner than play this game. You'd rather be forced to spend some time with Jossett from Wonder Project J2 while you're gunpointed on the head with death threats such as being thrown to the Dobkeratops pool if you refuse.
To close things up, Sesame Street 123 and Mario's Early Years! Fun with Numbers are Top Gun Maverick and Jurassic World Dominion compared with this.
Graphics...meh, what can I say? One of the things that are like a requirement on an educational game are the colorful numbers. This game doesn't have that, is just black numbers in white squares and circles, making the damn thing look lazy, lifeless and boring as if Myron said "Who cares. Kids will just pick the numbers". The crappy graphics from Nik & Kit's: Nik's Adventure doesn't help on that either. As for the sound, the game has a few original, yet dull tunes for the background, a recycled song of Project: Summer Ice Bowling games and a remix of the Nik and Kit gameplay theme.
We've survived this equation of shit.
Who knows what's next...
Breakthrough Gaming Activity Center: Nik and Kit's Math Quiz is a desperate cry of an old PC turd hoping to get the attention of unaware parents who could be stupid enough that this might be fun for their children. In any way, this is a really bad idea that didn't deserved to be unearthed from its six-feet hole where it came from.
A total gaming wreck.