SP Review: Spectrewoods (PS4|5)

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Sturmvogel Prime
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SP Review: Spectrewoods (PS4|5)

Post by Sturmvogel Prime »

TRASHFALL FINAL III: THE THIRD IDIOCY (PART IX)
DEAD BEFORE SAYING "I DO"




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Lea knows we're gonna face trash of the worst kind.

Looks like Breakthrough Gaming and Pix Arts are not the only contenders in this Trash Game Race. The Voices Games is following their steps, and Spectrewoods is solid proof of it.


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Follow the flower road...

Spectrewoods is a third person shooter in the same style as Lizard Lady VS The Cats and Lady in a Leotard with a Gun. There's not too much plot about the game, just a couple about to get married and they're having their ceremony in the middle of the forest. Then you're in this black void where the first thing you have to do is to follow the path of flowers towards the portal that leads you to the next stage. Yeah, that's all you have to do in the first stage, just walk following the road of flowers as if it was a baby's storybook of some sorts and there you go, onto the next stage.



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This makes Ghostbusters 2016 look good.

Stage 2 will require you to shoot some ghosts. This is where the gun finally comes in handy. Like in Lizard Lady VS The Cats, you'll have to stop shooting to "reload" it. Basically you have unlimited ammo, but you don't have to worry about depleting the gun bar since the ghosts take 1 shot to die, while the boss of this game takes a lot of them, requiring you to stop shooting and wait to refill the gauge a couple of times. After that, you just have to follow the flower path and go to the next stage. Zero difficulty since the bullets are way too easy to avoid, unless you take a hit deliberately, but you have to take hits and die to get the "The Inevitable" trophy. Just get killed and then clear the level without getting hit to get the respective trophies.



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OK, here says:
"Here lies whoever the fuck is responsible for this shit"


After defeating the boss and following the flower road again, we'll be entering another portal that lead us to a gravestone, which strangefully is the protagonist's grave.
This will take us to the ending of this game.



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♫♪Clearly, I will go sailing nooo mooooore.♪♫
Mom! Mom, have you seen my Sally doll?


After finding her grave, it turns out that she lies dead in the wedding ceremony for no reason, as the game doesn't bother to explain what the hell happened. You're dead, but you've got all the trophies included with this bastard. Wish I could call that a redeeming quaility, but the atrocious overall look of this game does not let me to say that. That explains how bad this game is.

Audiovisually, its absolutely laughable, the single, monotonous color palette is repulsive beyond anything you can imagine, even from beyond any known galaxy. Imagine trying to do 3D graphics with repulsive colors, no cel shading and no lighting effects. Add horrible pixelation as if it was a censored video and you have this sorry excuse for retro styled graphics. To complete this cycle of imbecility, release the game with no music, only gun firing sounds and "Uh"s everytime the ugly bride gets hit by the ghost's bullets. Well done! You've created a fuck up in videogame disguise.



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Well, I have to say "I'm with Shizuka".

Spectrewoods is perhaps the worst 3rd Person Shooter of all time. Even worse than Lizard Lady VS The Cats and Lady in a Leotard with a Gun. ¿How the fuck this game made its way to the PlayStation store? is the damn question here. ¿Who on his/her sane mind would want to buy this? This is an insult to gaming and Trophy Hunters alike. The best we can do is to avoid buying anything from The Voices Games, it will just encourage them to make more videogame trash like this one.



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Do I need to say this game is an insult to the mind?
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