BLASPHEMOUS BIBLE-STEALING RATS
TRASH GAME BASE: THREE MINUTES AND CLOSING.
Breakthrough Gaming is for overall gaming what Mumm-Ra is for the ThunderCats or the UT-00/QB for Solont (Silpheed: The Lost Planet): The eternal nemesis who always come back and a plague for the whole world. Although this Sunday released two games, I'm gonna skip the "Machine #2" of Pinball: Our Church and Halloween 'cos it will be much of the same as my previous reviews and go straight to this game: Nik & Kit: Nik's Adventure.
See that, Mom?, That's why I've been asking for an iPad all this time.
I wanted it to carry a digital copy of the Bible on it 'cos thieves no longer respect sacred things like before.
Looks like Myron is running out of ideas this time and is re-releasing his old works, 'cos this shit is from 2006, when he made turds to insult both Christians and PC's before stepping into the PlayStation.
The story of this game is that Nik and his sister Kit got their Bibles stole by a mysterious redhead. So what are they gonna do?: Cry?, Ask the MSS to arrest her?, Tell God to pick the thief and throw her alive to Hell? Unfortunately, is none of them. Nik is going to a tower where the Bible was torn apart and you have to pick all the fragments and bring it back with you before going home.
Super Barf-O Bros.
Nik & Kit: Nik's Adventure is a Super Mario Bros. styled platformer, where the objective is to reach the Bible fragment at the end of the stage before time runs out. You can pick coins which act not just as bonus items, they're also time replenishers as well. I really question the game as such since there's not too much of a game to beconsidered one. Being the lack of enemies the most notorious of all. If in the My First Date RPG's that killed the basics of RPG, here its a "born dead" game. Even a basic platformer like Donkey Kong or Alex Kidd knows that very well and throws you enemies that you should either dodge or kill before they take you down, but you get help from items that give you an advantage. Sadly, this is not one of them. With no enemies to fight, your worst "enemy" will be precision jumping. Also, you can't jump when you're on top of a ladder like in Megaman, so you have to move to a block and then jump.
While there's very few horizontal running levels, the majority of the game is based on vertical layouts that imply jumping and ladder climbing, and there's one that requires you to climb all the way up and then drop all the way down to reach the goal on the right side of the screen. It will make you wish you either fight a boss or have a wall breaking item like the bombs from Metroid.
Jesus should be upset to see his name slapped on this game.
Clearing a level will recover a fragment of Nik's Bible. Looks like whoever stole it turned out to be meaner that he expected 'cos she ripped his Bible and you have to put the Holy Book back together by clearing all the levels of the game.
When a tower was built without quality standards...
After picking all the Bible fragments you'll probably think "Mission Complete", you're done with the god-damned game, but NO. This game pulls the "Time Bomb is Set" thing and you have to leave the tower.
¿What would Myron came up with this time?
The tower goes down, Nik goes down, this game goes down.
Too bad they don't go down the sewer.
The escape level consist on go all the way down to the bottom where the exit is located. You can easily reach the end by dropping and dodging the most platforms as possible.
Yeah, Nik is a superhuman who's immune to high falls. Looks like he has the Power of Grayskull or a power of "Over 9000" to survive high falls.
Well, shit.
After running away from the collapsing tower we've finally finish the game for good, just to find out that Nik lost his bible during the escape (drooling idiot), but what really matters is that he has the Word of God in his heart. If he already had the Bible in his heart, then this quest was just in vain, he wasted his time facing challenges for nothing. Like Count said in Ace Combat 7 Skies Unknown: "So Wiseman died for nothing".
Graphically, this game is "NES Vomit" on its worst expression. The character sprites look almost unanimated and I say almost becase when they move, they barely have a walking animation when they move (leg is 1 pixel smaller than the other during walk). The background is all the time in black and the surface Nik's walking look like a ripoff of Donkey Kong. The music is chiptune trash as it sounds like a bad attempt to a Megaman-styled tune.
No comment, Shizuka already said what we think of this game.
If you want to know the meaning of "Vintage Indie Vomit", then this might be the game for you, and to make things worse, this might be the beginning of more "re-releases" of Breakthrough Gaming's old works to shit-stain our PlayStations. So we have one hell of a trash game nightmare to deal with.
A blazing grave in hell is what Breakthrough Gaming deserves.