SP Review: Welcome to the World of ZJ the Ball (PS4|5)

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Sturmvogel Prime
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SP Review: Welcome to the World of ZJ the Ball (PS4|5)

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TRASHFALL FINAL II (PART I)
ANYTHING FOR A BUCK...OR A FEW CENTS



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THE FOLLOWING REVIEW HAS STRONG LANGUAGE
VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.



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The Trash Game Swarm is back and worse than ever.

Oh, God. Now that I've stopped laughing at the atrocity that I'm gonna talk about now, here we go with more Trash reviews.
Like I've said on my previews trash game reviews, talking about "Trash gaming" is not complete without talking about Breakthrough Gaming, and this time they've broke all the known scales this time.
Welcome to the 100th level of Videogame Hell, welcome to Welcome to the World of ZJ the Ball (Visual Novel). That horrified Shinji Ikari screaming you've just heard was probably you.



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"A Nightmare on Game Street"
Even Freddy Krueger will run for his sanity.


Breakthrough Gaming's attempt to a Visual Novel, like the game is described. Well, Visual Novels are quite easier to do than any other games like racing or shooting, since all you need is some nice drawings and a plethora of lore and decisions like Type-Moon's Fate series does. Breakthrough Gaming already pulled Visual Novel elements in the Bowling games (under their Project: Summer Ice banner), but not a full game on that genre. So let's see how it did.



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Is this a commercial or a game?

For a "Visual Novel", there's not too much about it, as ZJ explains that their goal, Breakthrough Gaming's goal is to entertain us with fantastic games and products, and...Ah, shit. The word "Fantastic" is not responding. MEDIC!!

- THE NEXT DAY -

*"Q.E.P.D. (Rubbing Beat)" plays*

We've gather here today to mourn the loss of the word "Fantastic".
"Fantastic" was one time a word to describe beauty, fascination and wonder beyond anything we've could imagine.
A word that encapsuled all the positivity from this world, taken apart by a maniacal game developer.
A word that we will be missing when a beautiful thing appears infront of us.
We can only thank you for your existence and for fulfilling your purpose in this world.
Let us pray for his eternal rest in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.


Breakthrough Gaming made the worst massacre of a word's meaning in human history. Calling this game fantastic is like calling the experience of being plugged to a dialysis machine a "pleasant day". Plugged to a broken, dialysis machine while you're left out to die.



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You're the creation of someone's twisted imagination.

ZJ meets his friend Axel the Robot and tells him about their world and how they can express values and morals despite being fictional characters and how Christians can create entertainment about God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and the Bible, but they're interrupted by a robot named Nail who seems to be a hater who after a biblical reference he leaves off and both ZJ and Axel decide to defend the town against Nail and his creator. That's all what the gameplay is, pressing X as you navigate from one comic book square to another. To add insult to injury, the option of making choices, which is the core structure of all Visual Novels is nowhere to be found. For a game with the phrase "Welcome to the World", there's nothing about ZJ's world. You don't meet his friends and explore their pasts or talk have a talk with them or go from one place to another. It's an empty shell of what it intends to be.



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CALL 01-800-TRASH-GAMES and get not 1, but three abominations for your PlayStation 4® console!
If you call in the next 5 Minutes we will send you the book "Bydo Cuisine: Dishes from Another World" for free!
And if you call in the next 30 seconds we will send you a bucket of Bydogen to drop on whoever made this game for free too!
Just like you've heard!, all that for free if you call in 30 seconds!, Don't waste any more time, CALL NOW!




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Here's what I think of your "game".

After finishing the crappy storyline, this is what you've get: A sad, pathethic commercial inviting you to buy and play some of Breakthrough Gaming's titles.
Sounds like a sick joke. ¿Are they telling me that I've played this bunch of crap propaganda just to get ANOTHER commercial? Fuck that. That's like paying for watch infomercials.
Trophy progression is the MOST PATHETIC OF ALL. If you press X non-stop, you'll get everything in 5 seconds, FIVE GOD DAMNED SECONDS. Yeah, I timed it on my first playthrough. That's definitely the fastest time possible EVER in a videogame, and I put it on capital letters 'cos you can't get them any faster. Literally feels like if you've used a cheat code to get everything, but the sad, pathetic truth is that you've played the game to the end in 5 seconds by tapping "X" like crazy. It took me almost half an hour before I started writing this review 'cos this game is LAUGHABLE beyond belief because this sad, pathetic attempt to a game.



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We all know the answer, Margaret.

There's only one man to blame, Ms. Whitetail: MYRON KEVAN TYNES JR. That's the blasphemous bastard who made all this Breakthrough Trash.
God, if you want to punish someone, make your wrath fall on him. The PlayStation doesn't deserve those abominations.



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The stickman has a long neck. ¿Was this game made by E.T. The Extraterrestrial?
Also, God will not be happy with this game.



Audiovisually is a complete failure. While the music recycles the Title screen of the main ZJ the Ball games, the graphics are the same pixel crap, but without any animations as if the Sega Master System drank a screwed up mix of antidepressants with expired milk, sewer water, old wine, cyanide and caramel syrup and puked all that on our PlayStations.


WELCOME TO THE CURIOSITIES OF ZJ THE BALL

- The "game" is actually an adaptation of the webcomic from ZJ The Ball's website.

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That's what Breakthrough Gaming deserves, a fiery, explosive one-way-trip to hell.


Welcome to the World of ZJ the Ball (Visual Novel) is the "Anti-game" and the "Anti-Visual Novel".
It can't be called a game or a Visual Novel, is actually a commercial for Breakthrough Gaming in videogame disguise and that's with no doubts, THE ABSOLUTE WORST EXCUSE FOR A GAME. Yeah, it's even worse than all the Breakthrough Gaming and Project: Summer Ice games altogether. If you've thought that games like MC Kids, Yo! Noid, Chex Quest, Cool Spot and Chester Cheetah: Too Cool to Fool we're shameless advertisements, this is even worse and redeems them, 'cos those ones AT LEAST were playable and they resembled videogames, bad ones, but videogames.

Need to find the "Grand Champion" of Trash Gaming?, Well, here it is. Looks like LJN, Big Rigs: Over The Road Racing and even the Atari 2600's E.T. game have been dethroned.



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Emilie and Lea crying means "THIS GAME IS HAZARDOUS FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH".
Fan of Transformers, Shmups and Anime-styled Girls. You're teamed up with the right pilot!
Bringing you shmup and video game reviews with humorous criticism.

STG Wikias: Thunder Force Wiki - Wikiheart Exelica - Ginga Force Wiki
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